Chapter 3

Sanctuary

"Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness."

--The Problem of Pain

C.S. Lewis

The days following that moment in the garden slipped by in ardent symmetry between Kim and Shane as they settled into a comfortable existence at Donovan Manor. Their woefully damaged relationship sprouted the first seeds towards healing, as they shared coffee over the morning paper, afternoon tea seated on the stoned terrace and evenings around the fireplace in the family room listening to the steady beat of rain pellets sliding down the windows. For Andrew, the time spent at his father's knee listening to the three adults engage in discussions revolving around politics, history and literature fascinated him more than the dreams he never remember the following morning. The fast pace life of LA being a distant memory, Andrew gravitated towards the unscripted freedom of exploration he had among the grounds of Donovan Manor. Following his father's footsteps, the child spent his summer days roaming the land slaying dragons and discovering new species within his imagination. Once his mother arrived, he enjoyed the taste of having a normal family he witnessed his school friends possess. Andrew desperately craved it. Finally, Shane insisted on enforcing the young boy's bedtime, kissing him on the forehead before his mother escorted him upstairs. Shane and Marlena exchanged pleasantries until Kimberly's return where upon, Shane's eyes showered Kim with attention hanging on her every word. Marlena marveled at the display wisely aware that neither party recognized what was transpiring. She usually turned in earlier leaving them downstairs sipping on fine wine and reminiscing before bed. All who witnessed noticed the growing bond and mutual attraction between Kim and Shane; the way they connected on such a cerebral and soul-searching level that transcended the conflict that enveloped them. They were trapped within the confines of Kim's engagement to another man and the cataclysmic events that preceded that commitment. Yet, the English countryside provided sanctuary to the wounded ex-lovers from the internal and external forces that kept them apart. Only once during this trip did Kimberly embark on an excursion to the outside world when she and Marlena escaped to London for a day of shopping and pampering. As they strolled down the myriad of cobblestone side streets off Oxford Street, Kim stopped abruptly and gasped, "I don't believe it!"

"Oh, I have to get this for him!" She exclaimed, pulling Marlena into an old antique store as she juggled the packages into her other arm. Marlena smiled at the brightness of Kim's face as she hurried past the other shoppers grabbing the item that set in the far corner of the shop window thinking Kim was picking out something for Phillip. Kimberly whirled around triumphantly cradling the old red covered hardback with a whimsical sketch of a fanciful ship: A first edition of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Marlena hastily composed herself remembering the exchange she witness earlier in the week and smile politely. Kim approached the counter, paid for the item, and they journeyed back to the countryside.

Donovan Manor, a few nights prior

A very tired and pregnant Marlena reluctantly pushed away the covers with her feet and waddled down the back stairs, which were closer to her room than the main staircase, leading straight into the Donovan kitchen. Marlena marveled over her heightened appetite and barely into her second trimester! Her age and the uncertainty made this pregnancy more demanding than carrying the twins all those years ago.

The light above the gas stove lit her way towards the massive refrigerator, opening it to reveal the leftovers from the earlier meal wrapped tightly on the middle shelf. As she sat on the nearest barstool against the 'L'-shaped island that lined the back cabinets and peered at the window across from her, Marlena heard the ripple of laughter float down the hallway from the main quarters of the estate. It was harmonious, inviting anyone who might stumble upon the scene to join in. Curiously, after finishing her late night snack, Marlena exited the kitchen walking slowly in the direction of the source. What she witnessed both warmed her heart and gave her hope that genuine love might triumph over unspeakable pain. Peering into the room through the slits of the mahogany banister, Marlena saw the timid dance of two people unconsciously fighting their way back towards one another…

"You have to be completely out of your tree!" Shane thundered heartily as he hopped up from where the two sat by the fire. Marlena could see the light in his eyes as he looked over his shoulder while pouring two cups of tea situated on the oval shaped coffee table in front of the leather sofa. From her vantage point on the other side of the stairs Marlena couldn't see Kim until she rose up onto her knees to take the cup Shane offered her. The fingers barely touched as the cups passed from one hand to the other. For the first time in a long time, Kim's eyes radiated with joy; a joy that the light of the fire illuminated around the room mingling with the rhythm of their voices as Shane extolled the virtues of reading Lewis's Narnia series in its original context. Kim listened intently as Shane argued his case while sipping her tea. After a few minutes,

"I'm merely suggesting, professor," Kim chimed in stifling another laugh. "That perhaps given the boy is only seven, you might consider rearranging the order so it makes a little more sense." Kim set the teacup on the table dismissively.

"But then, the magic of Narnia revealing itself gradually to the reader is lost! Wouldn't you say the entrance into the wardrobe is a much better introduction than… say, simply stating its existence, which is done in The Magician's Nephew, thus assuming the reader is already familiar…?" Shane protested. The pained look on his face was priceless and Marlena surmised that Kim was simply riling him up without seeing her expression. Marlena hadn't seen this Kim in ages. It was refreshing.

A dramatic pause...

Then, the realization in Shane's eyes as he gazed at Kim's mischievous grin; he lunged forward grabbing a small pillow and threw it playfully at her.

Marlena buried her face into her right shoulder to conceal her own amusement at the scene, slipping away the way she came.

Marlena observed with great interest the striking contrast between Phillip and Shane's world in relation to Kim's. As she studied Kim's relationship with Phillip, Marlena noted how Kim was completely absorbed into his world, his life, and friends, all of his activities. While living in Salem, Phillip approached Kim's home and family as an arrogant observer. He performed the required acts of kindness-just enough to keep her family comfortable and supportive of the pairing. But he displayed detached amusement at Kim's history and the things that formed who she is. Marlena was no casual observer, making mental notes of Phillip's behavior, body language, etc. and she wasn't impressed. Without permission to share her opinions, Marlena kept her comments encouraging towards Kim. Over time, the obvious role playing Kim allowed in the superficial relationship served to hamper the very effort Kim was making to become whole again. The bitter irony was the lack of intimacy between the two, flowed abundantly with the man Kim was supposedtohave relegated to comfortable and polite pleasantries for the benefit of their children. Observing Shane and Kim together and also apart, made it difficult to determine where Kim's world ended and Shane's began. The previous night only confirmed Marlena's professional opinion that intimacy wasn't Kim's issue but the source she was mining from. Presently, she knew Kim was much too fragile to accept this simple truth. Marlena prayed as Kim continued her therapy out in LA the revelation would be self-realized, Kimberly casting off the last chain that confined her in a world that wasn't her own.

When the two women returned from their shopping expedition, Simmons, who looked very worried, greeted them at the door.

"Ah, hello ma'am." He said apologetically. Alarmed, Kimberly immediately dropped the packages, glancing at him and then up the stairs. The ache in her heart told her one or both children needed her. At that moment, Shane breezed down the stairs addressing them.

"Ah, the two of you are back."

Kimberly raced forward knowing something was amiss with the children.

"Shane?" She called frantically as he approached her resting his hands upon her shoulders.

"Everything is fine." He assured Kim. Glancing at Marlena adding, "but given your condition Marlena, I think you need to cut the trip short." Marlena tilted her head peculiarly as Shane elaborated, "I'm afraid Jeannie has come down with the measles."

Arrangements were made via the private ISA jet to take Marlena to Salem, while Kimberly phoned Phillip informing him of her plan to postpone their trip home to LA until Jeannie's doctor cleared her for travel. Peachy arrived to escort Marlena to the private airspace and took Andrew along with her to let the boy explore the cockpit before take off. By the time Kim said her good-byes to Marlena, the house was quiet for mid-afternoon. She wasted no time ascending the stairs to attend to her daughter's needs. But as she rounded the corner, approaching the room to her left, Kimberly heard the sweet angelic sound of Jeannie whispering to Shane.

"Daddy how did the meezes get inside me?" She asked in a hushed girlish tone. Kimberly peered into the room to see her snuggled up in the protective arms of her ex-husband. Shane held his fingers in the air to demonstrate an elaborate tale of how viruses work as though it were a bedtime story, to a captivated but very fatigued little girl. As he finished his colorful tale, Shane lightly tickled her tummy, Jeannie squealing with delight.

"Do it again, daddy!" She cried between coughs. It was remarkable how Jeannie's face mirrored her mother's when she looked at him in that manner. It tugged at his heart in the worst way.

"Shhhh, later my love." Shane replied dotingly. "You need rest." He added, kissing her flushed forehead.

Kim's heart ached watching the complete love and trust that enveloped the two as Shane rocked back and forth with her in his arms. Once Jeannie drifted asleep, Shane scooted her up placing her quietly into bed next to her favorite doll. Kimberly slipped across the hall unnoticed; longing for the day she might experience again, the kind of security illuminating across her daughter's face.

As the little girl struggled with a high fever for the better part of the week, Jeannie's sick bed swiftly moved into Kimberly's room. Intermittently, Jeannie woke up in a sweat during the night calling for her mummy. When she woke, Kimberly placed her in the tub to clean her up, drying her off, and crawling back in bed with the weary child. The process repeated until her fever broke. Shane stepped in attending to meals and the laundry as well as shuffling Andrew off to summer activities. One evening far into this routine, Kimberly exited the bathroom to find Shane slumped over in the plush upright chair situated next to the fire. A hand towel draped over his shoulder, it was evident he was waiting on her to finish dressing for bed but hadn't wanted to leave the room in case Jeannie woke up. Gazing over at her bed, the little flaxen haired girl slept peacefully underneath the satin cream-colored sheets, blending perfectly into the bedding. Kimberly smiled, quietly remembering how Jeannie called it: the magic bed.

Kimberly tiptoed slowly over to the chairs to her right, placing her hand gently on Shane's left knee.

"Shane?" Kim addressed him soothingly. His eyes flew open at the sound of her voice jolting upward until Shane realized there was no need for alarm. Kimberly smiled at him adoringly. "You're officially off duty, Captain." She announced lightly, a glint in her eye. Shane rubbed his eyes studying his daughter and then looked back at Kim. Placing her hand on his back to guide him towards the hall, they both glanced back at their daughter. Seeing his hesitation, Kimberly assured him:

"Shane, she's not had a fever in days and her cough has subsided. I think she'll sleep through the night for now on." Escorting him out into the hallway, "Besides, I think there is a young sailor in his room waiting to find out what happens after you two sail away from Dragon Island." She said with a wink.

Pleased by her words, Shane smiled raising his finger in instruction. "Ah, yes, our brave Caspian must forge a narrow escape, or two, in the coming chapter!" He exclaimed dramatically. "As you wish me lady." Shane bent forward, reached for her hand, gallantly kissing it before strolling away towards Andrew's room. Caught up in the moment, Shane did not notice the dazed expression plastered all over Kim's face after they parted. She pulled her hand to her cheek, which tingled from the effects of his soft and sweet lips, stroking it pensively before disappearing back into her room.

Scene: Donovan Manor, two weeks later

A few days before Kimberly and the children were to return to L.A., Kimberly stood next to the four-post bed, folding clothes, placing them into her luggage. Her two-week trip lasted over a month meaning she hadn't seen Phillip in two. Jeannie responded well to her treatment, but the circumstances had Kimberly anticipating a rough adjustment period once they returned. The children had been through so much in the past few years. While Jeannie nestled in her arms one evening, Kimberly made a decision regarding the living arrangements once they returned. She remembered the silence and consenting sigh breathed over the line.

"If you think this is what the children need, Kimmie, do it!" Phillip replied smoothly. His tone helped soften Kimberly, who bristled, each time he referred to her by that nickname. Kim struggled to remember what caused him to use that title on her and she frequently forgot to address it to him when they were alone. Bidding him adieu, Kimberly hung up the phone and continued with her task. As she pulled things out of the drawers, Kim discovered the bag containing the present sitting on the desk where Simmons left it two weeks before. In a flash, the contents of their lively discussion returned to her in full force. Smiling faintly, Kimberly felt a tinge of remorse remembering how she left things with Shane that night. And he hadn't alluded to the awkwardness that permeated their time together alone since she rebuffed his consolation…

Donovan family room, two weeks before, after Marlena's returns to her room…

All the talk of childhood escapism wrestled with Kimberly's mind in the midst of her pleasant conversation with Shane permitting uninvited memories to linger in.

"Yes." Kimberly replied softly as the flicker of the fire dimmed as though the light knew to hide from the gravity of what was about to be said. Clutching the soft sofa pillow in her hands, Kim stared blankly into the fire breaking eye contact with Shane.

"I wanted to be Lucy." She confessed reflectively. "We had an old wardrobe in our room…" Her voice trailed off, the flames highlighting the tears appearing in her eyes. Shane saw that familiar far away expression and the shadow of a frighten little girl appear behind them.

"Kim." Shane offered tenderly. He placed his hand delicately on top of hers that deathly gripped the pillow. Kim gazed up into his compassionate eyes briefly before pulling back. She didn't know how to respond to his empathy now, no matter how innocent it was. An unexplainable wave of resentment surfaced. Shane handled vulnerability in her with such ease. Kim flinched when he leaned closer to offer support.

"I'm really tired." She suggested guiltily. Pulling herself into standing position, Kim desperately wanted to flee. Shane stood along with her.

"Ok." He responded patiently meeting Kim's furtive eyes. She nodded quickly, sprinting away like a rabbit. Shane sighed and looked back at the dying embers in the fireplace…

Later in the evening, present time:

The children were nestled in their beds, exhausted after the day's trip into London, enjoying the lights and activity that surrounded Piccadilly Circus. Shane retired into his study to finish a little work from earlier, while Kimberly prepared for bed. In the distance the rumble of thunder could be heard. Downstairs in his study, Shane stood at the massive window, its drapes pulled back to showcase the lightening display that approached in the distance, swishing his brandy in the snifter he held in his right hand. He contemplated.

As the lightening flashed through her window, Kimberly nervously stepped closer to steal a look. The lightening illuminated the backgrounds of the estate from the darkness of the night with each flash. Kim saw the reflecting pond Andrew splashed in a day earlier catching frogs to chase his sister with. The glass from the greenhouse shined brightly at her, a distant memory lurking between the shadows …

"I'll let some more light in…Voila!"

A clap of thunder startled her, so Kimberly placed the gift-wrapped present inside her blue satin robe and ventured downstairs to find him.

By the time Kimberly reached the last step at the base of the staircase, the rumble of thunder reverberated through the old home, causing some of the armored statues scattered throughout, to clank against their pedestals. A warm golden hue lit the way into the family room where Kim saw the silhouette of Shane kneeling by the fireplace, stroking the kindling to create a nice steady burn. The atmosphere pulled her towards him as the shadows wrestled for her to remain with them. The scene was intoxicating. He whirled around in time to see her standing a few feet from him. Though Shane anticipated Kimberly's arrival, nonetheless, seeing her standing before him induced a happy expression of surprise across his face. Kim's hair fell freely around her shoulders, her eyes sparkling as she crossed her arms protectively across her chest. Kim's blue robe cast an angelic glow in an otherwise colorless room.

"Kimberly." Shane greeted her warmly. Timidly, Kimberly attempted to avoid his expectant gaze by sliding the present from beneath her robe, handing it to a very puzzled Shane. "What in the devil is this?" He exclaimed.

"Open it." She gestured coyly as Shane waved his right hand at her as an invitation to sit. Kimberly couldn't verbalize the apology but Shane completely understood the depth and feeling in her blue eyes and the way she tucked her knees underneath her robe to ward of rejection as she sat next to him. He tore open the wrapper, discovering the well-preserved, red covered first edition book.

"Oh, Kim!" Shane gushed with sincere appreciation. He glanced down at the book, opening it to the contents and inspecting the pages and binding. The series of books meant the world to him because his own father read them to him when Shane was a young lad. He cursed the day Drew carelessly lost the book. His eyes were full of emotion when he lifted them to meet hers. Kim blushed a little.

"It didn't seem right for you to not have the original to complete your set." Seeing the expression had not changed on Shane's face, Kimberly twisted her fingers against the threadwork of the pillow sham closest to her and started talking fast. "You know, because, I know it meant a lot to pass this onto Andrew and Jeannie…"

Shane touched her hand to harness Kim's attention conveying there was nothing to forgive. "Would you like a glass of wine?" He inquired pleasantly. The rumble of thunder loomed overhead answering for Kim. They both knew Kim would not be asleep anytime soon. Kim smiled and looked at the glow of the fire as Shane left towards the wine cellar. Returning he popped the cork poured the glasses and handed one to Kim as he lingered at the fire before sitting.

"Oh, would you like to switch places?" Kim offered so Shane could face the fire instead of her.

"Hell, no!" The voice in Shane's head screamed, mesmerized by her beauty as she sat next to him. The soft, romantic lighting complimented Kimberly's delicate features beautifully. His eyes instinctively traced her petite frame trying to keep his facial expression neutral so he wouldn't embarrass her. Shane could spend the whole evening studying her. The way her hand manipulated the glass, her perfectly manicured nails that made his pulse race when they touched his skin, the way her lips graced the rim. "Oh, to be that glass!" Immediately turning his attention to the wine, Shane replied, "No, I'm comfortable." He sipped his wine nonchalantly, grateful when Kimberly spoke up.

"Why, this is a French Bordeaux!" She beamed. Narrowing her eyes mischievously, "You've been to Cahors recently!"

"Guilty as charged." Shane replied as he raised his left hand. "Business." He added simply. Kimberly arched her brow slightly, which produced a smirk from Shane. Almost spilling the fine vintage, he elaborated,

"Dreadfully boring matters in Paris. I had to rush there just before your visit. But I made a day trip for the wine." He set the glass down to tend the fire completing the story. "The weather was terrible!" Shane explained in disgust as he knelt by the fire.

"In May!" Kim interrupted in shock. Shane couldn't help himself.

"I think Paris misses you." He replied affectionately alluding to a long ago private joke between the two. His back was towards her as he said it, but he lifted his eyes into the fire hopefully anticipating her response. Kim's eyes brighten for a moment. Ironically, Shane had never visited Paris without the infamous city being deluged with inclement weather. That is, until he traveled there on honeymoon with Kim. Shifting the focus back to the wine, Kimberly ignored the comment,

"I'll have to treat you to something special from Napa when you come to LA." She offered carefully. Shane's face fell. Finishing the task, he whirled around and returned to his seat as a flash of lightening poured into the windows creating a garish glow that mimicked the awkwardness of the moment. Masking his disappointment, Shane acknowledged,

"Sounds wonderful." He forced a polite smile. "Sipping wine with a view of the Pacific."

"I'll need plenty of it." He groused to himself. The thought of another man-even if it was Phillip, raising his children and coming home to Kimberly, irritated him. It bothered Shane on a gut level.

Kimberly balanced her glass on her satin covered knee correcting him,

"Oh, my home won't have an ocean view."

Shane's eye rose at the statement. He distinctly remembered that Phillip owned a place in Malibu by the ocean. Kimberly took a measured sip before responding. Taking a breath and leaving the comforts of the leather sofa in favor of the warmth of the fire, Kimberly told him about her decision to buy the house next to her sister. Shane followed her movement with his eyes, listening to her very logical reasons. He sensed that she didn't seek his approval on the matter but deep inside, Shane was pleased by this development. The corner of his mouth turned up at the prospect as his eyes viewed her silhouette against the backdrop of the fire. Standing up and walking towards her, Shane held his hand against the flames, positioning himself next to her.

"I'm sure your home will be lovely." He declared. She turned her head to her left, smiling graciously. A thunderous boom bellowed above, causing Kimberly to jump away from the fire. Shane's hands instantly landed on her shoulder and the small of her back for support. He stopped short of pulling her protectively to him for comfort. A nervous laughed escaped her lips when she noticed the gleam in Shane's eyes, as they stood before the fire that close. Stepping back to regain distance, both physically and emotionally,

"Thank you." She said demurely.

"It was nothing." Shane replied clearly affected by the moment. Kim's eyes fluttered across the room towards the windows where the rain fell steadily against the panes, lightening offering to dance with the flicker of the flames exuding from the fire. But the playful exchange of light and dark couldn't keep her from avoiding Shane's dark and resolute eyes that pierced straight through her soul. Slowly gliding passed him; Kim left him standing by the fire. Reaching the doorway, she whirled around once more seeing him watch her exit.

"Good-night, Shane." She said softly. Shane smiled weakly back, nodding in return, and faced the fire once more. As she started up the stairs, he called back over his shoulder,

"Sweet dreams, Kimberly."