Two Souls - chapter 4. – Talk to me
.
Kyoko Soryu was a little tense.
Yui came to wake Kyoko in the morning, as she usually did; Kyoko, on her part, was certain she did not fall asleep at all. She was also reasonably certain that the night was again far shorter than it was supposed to be.
And as usual, she chose to ignore such details. After all, this was not a very real place, despite Yui's efforts and Kyoko's own internal desire to consider it real.
On the other hand, what she could not ignore were the events of the previous night, when she ran to wake her hapless host, became speechless at a simple and completely mundane sight, and generally acted like a teenager would. She might have gotten over the embarrassment and confusion regarding her host's state of undress – although recalling that did not help her focus right now – but not her own actions. They might have been in a mindscape, everything around them could be an illusion – but the actions and words were real, and they were a source of her unease right now.
'Focus, Soryu. You had a moment of… stupidity? Silliness? Juvenile behaviour? I guess one could call it "a short bout of regression", but let's not play with self-diagnosis. Let's call it "this thing that will not happen again lest Ikari thinks I'm not serious about following her plan or even not mature enough to trust" and carry on', she pondered over a cup of cocoa and the plate full of pound cake slices.
Of course, this was easier thought than done. Yui was similarly lost in her thoughts: her face showed little emotion, and her gaze was distant. This did not put Kyoko at ease at all; she wanted to reach into that mind, wanted to know what Yui Ikari, her host, ally, and maybe even friend, was thinking. Specifically, what was on her mind right now and what was she thinking about that unfortunate incident.
"I think we're done", Yui stated cheerfully, suddenly breaking out of her contemplation. "We can go as soon as we finish here", she smiled at Kyoko.
Kyoko nodded her head carefully, unsure what was going on, but deciding to play along. 'Questioning Ikari's suggestions is rarely a good idea… her words and choices usually make sense in the end. Well, once I learn the whole context, of course.'
...
Trees surrounded them. Yui was leading them towards something she called "the testing grounds" when they were departing.
They were not walking the beaten path that led to the clearing Kyoko usually appeared in Yui's mindscape; nor were they travelling the less-trodden garden path that led to the hedge maze they visited once in a while. No, the path Yui took them was entirely new one, one Kyoko was unfamiliar with. The grass on it was cut short, and short wooden posts were placed to mark its route, but Yui must have deliberately made it appear unused, even neglected. Kyoko pondered over the possible symbolism of Yui making the path appear that way, finally deciding this was not exactly the most important thing to consider now.
They were walking in silence. Kyoko was trying her best to conceal her excitement over the situation. 'I know this is irrational. It's not the first training I get from Ikari…' she tried to convince herself. 'On the other hand, all that she taught me until now was conscious Evangelion operation… surely, useful, lifesaving, maybe even interesting… but hardly fun.'
A pang of guilt grabbed at her heart. 'All right, maybe "fun" isn't something I should be thinking of when my daughter is out there, fighting life and death battles. But I'm doing this for her, too… so maybe it's fine enough?'
"I thought you'd be more excited about that, Soryu", Yui's amused voice interrupted Kyoko's deliberations. "Maybe I should've blindfolded you while guiding you here? To make the surprise more… intriguing? Thrilling?"
Kyoko mumbled something indistinct in response, trying to hide the fact her face was turning pink. 'Keep your wits about you, Soryu. You are not- Gott, was that flirting on her part?' Kyoko mind started to race. She started to breath faster. Yui smiled at the reaction but did not comment.
'No, no, it could not be. She is just helping me, she is an ally, a friend. Why would she flirt with me? She has a husband… well, an ex-husband… damn it', she gritted her teeth. 'I hate this uncertainty, I hate this turmoil, I really do…'
She looked sideways at Yui and realised her companion was still watching her with a small smile. It almost felt as she enjoyed Kyoko's confusion and embarrassment. 'Plan B, coming up. What was I supposed to question her about… ah, yes.'
"Ikari… can I ask you something?", Kyoko broke the silence, her voice shaking somewhat. 'Distraction would work best, I guess. Gott, I wish I took some psychology classes, it would surely help to keep me stable now. But how could I anticipate this, ever?'
"Of course, Soryu. What is on your mind?" Yui's gaze became curious.
"Your… husband… the commander… as Katsuragi called him, I guess that's the term…"
"Yes?" a sign of surprise crept into Yui's voice.
"Do you think he would really go with the 'bomb everything into oblivion' option if the volcano operation failed?"
Yui stopped and took a deep breath. Kyoko followed suit; they halted in the middle of the forest path.
"I do not know a good answer to that, Soryu", she replied, her heart clearly heavy. "I wish I could tell you 'no'. I wish I was sure about that as I was when… when he and I were together", she sighed. "But the more I see his actions, the more I listen to his words… he has changed, Soryu. He has changed so much that I am no longer sure this is the man I married", she paused.
They both were silent for a while; Kyoko did not dare to interrupt Yui's pensive state.
"No, I'm sure this is not the man I married", she sighed heavily. "Maybe it was an error to leave him alone with all this responsibility, without my hand to guide him. He seems to have gone… cold. Irreverent of human life. Maybe even irreverent of Shinji's life, not to mention his well-being", her voice sounded almost melancholic. "I hope I am wrong on that last part, but if I am not…"
Yui's lips formed a tight line, her gaze went distant. Kyoko kept listening, unwilling to disturb her host's pondering.
"No, it is too soon to condemn the man. But I am increasingly afraid he deserves nothing else. That'd be a great pity", Yui sighed, shaking her head. "I loved him."
Kyoko reached reluctantly and touched Yui's hand. A flash of mild surprise crossed the woman's face, quickly replaced by a smile.
"So, Soryu… Maybe he would authorise such an attack, maybe it was just a procedure he followed and would never press the button. There will be further trials, and I will make my judgement. And if I find he has fallen… well, no amount of defence can withstand an Evangelion except an Evangelion, and with your help, we would have two", she smiled a wry, wider and toothed smile. "And thus, the only countermeasure against us united would be Unit-00. And this is still two against one", she finished and her smile widened even further.
Kyoko looked at her with a tilted head.
"Did you just suggested you'd… assassinate? Murder? Your husband? And you ask for my help?"
"Ex-husband… or widower, at best, Soryu", she kept smiling, looking Kyoko in the eye. "And not murder, of course. If he is guilty, that would be justice served, or a combat casualty, if it comes to that. And yes, I could really use your help with that. After all, we are allies, are we not?"
'… hello again, shivers' passed through Kyoko's head. 'Well, she is at least part-right', Kyoko thought, nodding slowly while maintaining the constant eye contact. "Yes, Ikari, of course. We are", she smiled back, some uncertainty remaining in her voice. 'I hate to admit that, she has a point here…'
"Shall we, then?" Yui asked cheerfully and pointed in the general direction further down the path. Kyoko just nodded and resumed her walk.
...
The testing ground's area was a square of several metres on each side, surrounded by a two-metre tall red brick wall topped with barbed wire; the wall's line was broken only by a single, heavy iron gate. Its floor was made of beaten earth covered with less than an inch of sand; it gave the impression of being created to be as safe as possible.
"How do you like it, Soryu?" came the inquiry. "I was in a little bit of a hurry to create it, but I think it would suit us quite nicely", Yui smiled at surprised Kyoko.
"I-Ikari… when… when did you manage to create this?" Kyoko managed to stutter out.
"This morning? When you were busy feasting on toast, egg, and bacon?" Yui smile became wider.
"Oh. Of course. Apologies… Yes, this looks safe, thank you. What now?" Kyoko regained her ability to speak after a short time of bewilderment.
"Now, I will give you some… I guess you could call them 'access rights'… to the mindscape", Yui elaborated. "Please don't ask me how exactly", Yui threw her palms up in response to Kyoko opening her mouth, questions written all over her face. "It's like inner workings of an Evangelion, and no, I have not done it before. It was not needed, after all."
Kyoko closed her mouth without uttering a sound and nodded.
"Give me a moment to work it out, all right?" Yui smiled and closed her eyes. Expression of intense focus replaced the smile. Half a minute later, she opened her eyes again and her smile returned. "Done. You should have the basic creation and changing rights in this mindscape… I'm glad I anticipated that need when I designed it", she sighed tiredly.
Kyoko looked around and then at her hands held in front of her.
"I don't feel any different, actually…" she started, her voice confused.
Yui smiled. "Try something. Try to… I don't know, move the sand?"
Kyoko tilted her head, intense focus appearing on her face.
"Nononono no!" was the last thing Kyoko heard, and panicked face of Yui Ikari was the last thing she saw before falling to her knees, blinded and coughing her lungs out.
Moments later, the air cleared as suddenly as it became fouled. A strong wind encompassed her, and soon, the dust has settled. Kyoko saw Yui again, her eyes a little wild and her hair dusty. Kyoko coughed another lungful of sand out and stood up, a little bit wobbly.
"Well", Yui started in a hoarse voice, "you did what I asked you to do, I admit. Still, I was thinking more of a… column of whirling sand, not a sandstorm", she finished, underscoring her point with a cough of her own. A brush appeared in her hand and she started to dust her dress off before handing the tool to Kyoko.
"I'm… sorry, Ikari. I just… reached and… stirred? I'm sorry, I didn't know how strong this could be", Kyoko replied sheepishly.
"Yes, I've noticed that", Yui replied, a hint of bitterness in her voice. Kyoko began to feel like a first-year student – not a pleasant feeling by any measure. "I guess it was my mistake; like handing a teenager unaware of her strength a china cup and expecting nothing will break." Yui sighed. "Well, let's do it the slow way then. First, you will have to learn to fine-tune your reach", she refocused her gaze on Kyoko's face.
Sand between them slowly parted and column of beaten earth rose to waist-height level. Yui created a cauldron with water on top of it.
"Now, Soryu. Please try to make the water surface move… and do it as subtly as you can. Start slow – we don't need a rain here… or a rainstorm", Yui smiled a small smile.
Kyoko was still flushed with the embarrassment of her first try; she nodded slowly and focused on the container. 'Apply the most precise touch you can muster. It's simple, it's easy. Just measure your strength, like when you are bisecting a sample, like when you are fitting a chip into a socket, like… like when you are tying Asuka's hair ribbon. Precision is not something I could have lost, is it?'
Moments later, it became apparent that she was still in the Top Ten of most wrong people in NERV HQ.
...
Kyoko always enjoyed the petrichor; she found the smell of wet earth soothing. It remained her of many mountain treks of her youth; it reminded her of the peace of early morning sun. The beauty of dew covering the mountain meadows came to her mind whenever she smelled it. It was a smell of good memories, a nostalgia-evoking sensation that brought the memory of good times, feelings of serenity.
The feeling of heavy, soaked dress clinging to her body and chafing on her skin far was far less appealing. It brought feelings of annoyance bordering on frustration.
"Soryu", Yui's voice was patient, with only a small hint of irritation. It made her shiver far more than the cold, wet dress enveloping her. "I might not be up-to-date with German standards of precision, but I am certain this would be considered rather… violent, which is opposite to subtle."
Kyoko wanted to dig a hole in the wet sand here and now – and hide in it.
She stopped herself short before implementing, or even visualising that plan. Last two attempts in altering the environment have proven definitely too destructive, and not knowing what access rights she has been given, she could not estimate the result of any 'I want to sink into the ground' thought.
"Let me clean it up, and we may try it again" Yui resumed in face of Kyoko's silence. A hot wind began to blow, drying them up quickly – 'actually, far quicker than it should be possible', Kyoko noted. 'Well, it is, as before, an Ikari-controlled environment…'
Kyoko sighed. 'What am I doing wrong? I am just… touching the… atoms? And it all explodes, like I was splitting them, not just trying to move', her thoughts wandered while Yui reset the testing grounds. 'Maybe it's the matter of being in Ikari's mindscape? Maybe I would have less problem with mine?'
"… should be fine. Shall we try again, Soryu?" came to her from outside.
"Yes, of course", she turned back to her host. Yui's appearance was perfect once more. Kyoko chuckled at that sight.
"Is some sand left on my face, Soryu?" Yui asked, raising her eyebrow.
Kyoko could not tell whether she was being light-hearted, or annoyed. She decided not to take her chances. She shook her head. "No, no, no… it's just…" she trailed off. Yui's eyebrow rose higher.
"Ye-es?"
Kyoko let out a sigh. "Do you take pains to look proper and good, or is this coming natural to you? Like, you think 'I want to look clean' and you are?"
Yui blinked. "I… I don't know", she admitted. "Just feels natural in this place, you know? A noble lady of any era – and I admit, this is what this fantasy is about, being a noble lady – was always supposed to look proper and clean. So yes, I just… will it, and my mind makes it real. Of course, there is a lot in the details, like remembering the sounds, behaviour, movements of air… But yes, in the end, it's like putting your sneakers on: you don't think how to tie your shoelaces, you just do, and when you recreate the steps slowly, you're likely to fumble."
Kyoko blinked, staring at her. Something clicked in her head. "Ikari. Are you saying I am overthinking this whole creation and control thing?"
Yui tilted her head. "That was a leap of logic if I have ever seen one… well, it was not my intent to say that, but… possibly?"
Kyoko nodded thoughtfully. "Let me try again", she requested after a moment of silence.
Yui nodded cautiously. "That is what we are here for, Soryu. Third time's the charm, right?" she smiled with a hint of worry.
...
The third attempt at manipulation could still not be called a success if any but the lowest standards were applied. Kyoko was staring at the container with all the will she could muster, and when the surface finally moved, she was not certain whether she has succeeded, the Ikari-controlled wind kicked in to assist her – or was it her mind playing tricks on her, giving her what she wanted to see.
"All right, that went quite well for the first… well, third time."
Kyoko turned her attention from the cauldron and tried to blink away the afterimages of the cauldron that filled her vision. The container's shape was impressed in inverted colours in her retina; it confused her for a moment. Still, she was quite sure Yui has just folded a large umbrella and stashed it away; she decided not to think where it went.
"I… I'm not sure it worked", Kyoko started, her voice uncertain.
Yui smiled. "It did, or at least I saw it happen, and believe me, my senses are quite good here. And this time, there was no sudden shower or a squall", her smile turned wry. "Do you want to try again?"
"Well… yes, I think? I should? That is what we are here for, and you went through all the trouble for…" Kyoko sounded uncertain.
Yui nodded, her face turning solemn again. "Don't mention it, Soryu. Focus. We have plenty of time, of course, but this doesn't mean we should waste it."
Kyoko obeyed. Her eyes and thoughts focused on the cauldron once more; she stared intently and thus missed Yui's worried expression – and the large umbrella she produced from thin air.
...
The expected storm and rain did not come; the humidity remained the same. The only thing that surely rose was Kyoko's frustration, alleviated only by minor movements of water and sand.
...
"I think we deserved a little bit of time away from the lessons", Yui smiled, handing Kyoko a steaming cup and taking a seat in a comfy chair in front of a warm fireplace. Kyoko smiled and accepted the cup with a nod before sinking into the soft cushions and returning her attention to the crackling fire.
'It was a… long day. Satisfying, but long. And Ikari does know how to provide a cosy spot', she smiled to herself. 'I don't know why, but I feel… safe here. Cared for. I could get used to it…'
Kyoko's several attempts at control that followed were successful, but hardly impressive – on the other hand, they were far from disasters that marked the first ones. She still felt the frustration, and her embarrassment from the initial attempts has not entirely subsided, even if Yui has been nothing but patient and supportive. 'I wonder why does she put up with me… I was never a very good company, after all', Kyoko mused. 'Of course, I am a scientist and so is she, so we do have common ground… and I am the only company she has here. However ill-fitting the words would be, "beggars can't be choosers" applies here… both ways', she sighed silently. 'Not that I mind. Ikari can be scary once in a while, but overall, she is a wonderful host… and the chocolate tastes great, that's a bonus.'
"Ikari…" Kyoko broke the silence, prompting her host to refocus on her. "Tell me a story? You sure have them aplenty", Kyoko smiled warmly.
Yui chuckled. "Yes... I do. But I think there are not many I can tell you without likely boring you to death… or creeping you out."
Kyoko looked at her quizzically.
"I had a teacher... my father's friend", Yui continued. "A family friend, to be more precise; I actually called him 'uncle' before... before he started to teach and requested we – the children he taught – call him 'teacher'. He was old, and I do mean old. I thought he was well above a hundred years old, now I believe he was about eighty or ninety back then", she mused. "And he seemed to have known everything! You know how children are: they ask all the manners of questions, all the time, about everything. And he always answered them, all of them, with infinite patience... but also gave us looks that scared us when we tried to be clever on him", she smiled a thoughtful smile. "It was him who told us all the stories... I guess that's why I found your lecture German poetry a little bit familiar, there was a fair amount of Nordic mythology there too. Any mythology, if I remember correctly, and about how they all fit together."
"You were home-schooled?" Kyoko inquired. "Or was this something like Sunday School?"
"In the beginning, it was home-schooling, not only… him, but a governess. Then I went to school, and the teacher tales became just a supplementation to normal education. Then there was high school while his talks continued… he has noticeably aged by that time, and meetings became infrequent; he died soon after, and all the children – well, no longer children – all wept for him. He was more a grandfather to us than our respective grandparents, after all."
The air of mournful silence descended for a moment. Yui's face was solemn for a moment, then she shook out of it.
"It's the past. I remember him with great fondness, even if I was afraid of him at times", she smiled.
"Isn't it a little unusual in this age, to be home-schooled?" Kyoko inquired.
"I guess it is", Yui shrugged. "I thought nothing of it, back then, until I looked back and realised none of my university friends had this experience. My parents were protective, maybe even paranoid... and I guess they wanted me to get the best possible education", she smiled. "It certainly paid in my career."
Kyoko nodded. "I see… I admit I am not in the mood for creepy stories, and boring, well, it not the point of telling a story, is it… but you surely have some tale you could tell me that is neither?"
Yui pondered for a moment. "Well… As long as you don't have issues with parables?"
Kyoko shook her head. "I don't think I do? Should I?"
Yui smiled. "Then listen to a tale about a man and his loin-cloth …"
Kyoko blinked in surprise. "Pardon me saying that, but this sounds… um… never mind, please, continue."
Yui looked at her, confusion in her eyes. Then, she laughed, her face reddening a tone. "No, no, no, no, it's not what it sounds like, believe me. Just listen…"
Kyoko nodded, and Yui straightened in her seat. "Once upon a time, in a distant land", she started in a measured, calm voice, "there was a man who made the search for enlightenment the main drive of his life. Soon after, he made so much progress, that his guru was impressed and decided the man needed no further guidance. Thus, he left him on his own, in a little hut on a bank of the river…"
...
"And then the man said: 'You won't believe me, sir, but there was no other way I could keep my loin-cloth!'"
Kyoko stared for a moment before chuckling softly. "Well, that does make sense… the man was kind of right, but at the same time… well, I guess the story's lesson is open to interpretation?"
Yui nodded. "It is. Our teacher… well, he asked us what we thought of each and every story he told us, what the lessons were… and when you offered an interpretation he did not like, he relentlessly poked it with questions until he had broken it down and proven we were wrong. Sometimes, just sometimes, one of us managed to defend the interpretation. He was always very proud of that child when it happened… but it was rare", Yui smiled. "I apologise", she shook her head. "I am getting nostalgic… my childhood was a peaceful time, a time I gladly return to, even if I shouldn't. Looking back is… immature", she sighed.
Kyoko shook her head and reached to touch Yui's hand. She felt a twitch, but Yui did not pull back. Kyoko's palm covered the warm fingers resting on the chair's armrest.
"For most people, except those really unlucky ones, childhood was an easier time. There is no shame in recalling it… as long as you're not stuck there. Don't worry, Ikari, I will not hold a little bit of sentimentality against you", Kyoko winked, eliciting a small smile from Yui.
"You're probably right", Yui let out a softer sigh and turned her palm up, gently grasping Kyoko's fingers. "Well, that was the story I could tell you without boring you; whatever lesson you choose to draw from it is entirely your own. Of course, I am not a teacher, and I will not make you defend your interpretation", she chuckled. "I'm not a very good teacher…" she trailed off. "I mean, I can tell stories, but not to really teach lessons, maybe to entertain, but again, am I good at it? I don't know… and I'm rambling again", she sighed.
Kyoko squeezed the hand she held.
"Are we in any kind of a hurry, Ikari?" she asked. "It was entertaining, for sure, and you are still giving me some insight, I guess, just by the choice of the story. And I don't mind learning a little bit more about you, Ikari… and I simply like listening to you", she smiled warmly.
Yui blinked, raising her eyes to meet those of Kyoko. Their gazes locked; a flash of worry passed through Yui's face, followed by confusion, a hint of fear, and… understanding?
Yui grasped the hand that held hers hard; for a few seconds, she held it tight. Kyoko suddenly felt a little bit warmer than the fireplace would justify.
Then, Yui shook her head.
"Of course, Soryu", she smiled. "I apologise. I think I'm… tired? The whole training business, while successful, was rather exhausting", her smile turned apologetic. "I shall retire early, if you don't mind."
Kyoko nodded. "Of course, Ikari." 'Tired? I guess I am tiring, at times, and maintaining reality's coherence while I poke and prod at it could be considered tiring… perhaps even exhausting.'
Yui untangled her fingers from the handclasp and rose from her chair. "Will you find your way to your room, Soryu?" she asked in a soft voice.
"Of course, I'm practically living here, aren't I?" Kyoko smiled.
Yui nodded with a small smile. "Good night, then." Moments later, she was out of the door; the footsteps faded into silence.
Kyoko was left alone by the fire, her head full of thoughts.
...
Yui Ikari stood in the window, gazing at the moon. She was in her usual nightwear – the same that put Kyoko off-balance last night – and she was wrapped in a soft blanket. For some reason, even while she knew the blanket was illusory, this simple gesture gave her comfort.
"A fine mess I am", she spoke to herself, pretending to aim the words at the painting of a middle-aged couple in ballroom wear, a painting she chose to remember her parents with, a painting that once hung in the corridors of her home. "I guide her, all right, I help her, I expect results as a teacher should…" she sighed. "But in the end, what good will it do? I will likely get to drink tea in her garden, if it works well and she is wilful enough… but will it help finish the plan?"
The painting did not respond. Of course, Yui would be seriously worried if it did. The turned back to stare at the large moon, shining brightly in the night sky.
"Is this even a good plan?"
This was the doubt gnawing at her since the beginning, since before she climbed into the proto-Evangelion, since even before she started to work out the details. She shoved those doubts away; after all, was convinced that she was right, that her goals were noble and just, that the ever-present suffering of human beings would end, that the entirety of humanity would be finally happy under-
A sudden change in the usual buzzing of her external senses caught her attention and interrupted her train of thoughts. The Cages were usually peaceful except times of deployment or maintenance, with no more than a few technicians around, but there was always the constant sound of electronic equipment, the known beeping, the fans, the dim lights…
It all vanished at once, replaced by a deep stillness filled with hushed, clearly panicked voices.
"What the…" Yui focused her senses on the outside. Darkness, punctuated by very few red, emergency lights greeted her. Along with it came a faint feeling of thirst, slowly increasing.
"Oh. This is not good."
...
Sudden knocking woke Kyoko up. "Enter?" she called in sleepy, confused voice. Yui Ikari burst through the door. "Something is horribly wrong. You must go to your machine and shut down everything that is non-essential before you drain your battery."
"What? Why? What-" Kyoko sat on the bed, her face still expressing confusion.
Yui grabbed Kyoko's arms and stared her right in the eye. "There is a blackout of the entire base. Our communication, our Evas, our bodies – they drain power even when inactive. It may mean they run out of power if there is a need for combat. Go to your Eva, this should reduce the power use on the comm system if it doesn't have to maintain the connection. Save power." Yui was quickly, but methodically providing instructions. "Keep your senses open, but only passively."
"Is there an attack?" Kyoko tried to collect her thoughts.
"No. But as I know my widower…" Yui paused for a moment and decided this is not the best moment to ponder her marital status again. "… the base has triple or quadruple backups. If they all have failed, and it seems so, this means either an Angel is doing this, or this is some sabotage. We must be ready. Go."
Kyoko nodded and rose from the bed the moment Yui released her arms. "All right. Anything else?"
"No, except keep your channel 8 open, I will try to establish a low-level signal so we have some communication"
"'Go home now, I'll call you', right, Ikari?" Kyoko remarked with a wry smile she held for a second. "Good luck", she turned solemn again.
Yui blinked in surprise, then chuckled. "To both of us. Go. I'll get to work now."
Kyoko turned towards the door. The act of walking, of passing through something representing a gate, a door, even if it were two trees framing a path, helped in the transition. She took a step-
...
-and fell in the familiar cold waters.
'Hello darkness, my old friend…' she thought with resignation before focusing on her surroundings.
The familiar presence she half-expected, half-hoped not to feel touched her again, far more softly than before. There were no words now, just the overwhelming feeling of vast emptiness. For a moment, Kyoko felt as she were in the middle of an ocean, all alone, with nothing but the dark sky above her and miles of dark waters below her. For some reason, it did not scare her – she found an unusual, never before experienced tranquillity. She relaxed, spread her arms, and kept staring at the dark sky. 'Why are there no stars? So far from the land, I should be able to see the stars… or maybe are they gone, too?'
Her mind drifted away and she felt herself slowly sinking into the welcoming embrace of the water, well knowing that once she reaches the bottom, she will find even greater peace, the peace of eternal rest.
"…se Zeppelin … you …py?"
A signal carrying a voice, but buzzing with static to a point of intelligibility slowly reached boundaries of her mind. It did not seem important at all, though.
"…to base Zeppelin, do … copy?" the signal came in stronger. A small ripple in the waters disturbed her peace. This voice sounded insistent; maybe it was important? It sounded vaguely familiar, too.
"Earth to base Zeppelin, do you copy? Soryu – are you there?"
Suddenly, the voice was dead serious without a hint of static. Kyoko managed to focus the remnants of her attention. "Yes?" she asked weakly.
"Soryu, I don't know what is going there, but you sound like you were asleep. Talk to me", the voice was insistent.
"Who… who is this?"
The peaceful waters were pulling her, and the voice was an annoying disturbance. Still, some part of her mind held to it. It seemed important to her.
"Soryu, by the gods of my ancestors, I really hope this is a bad attempt at a joke." There was a hint of panic in that voice. 'And a hint of… care? Who could care for me?'
Dim images passed in front of Kyoko's eyes. The garden. The kitchen table. The tea and cake. The woman who hosted her.
The woman who called to her now.
"I… Ikari?"
"Yes, it is me. Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu, I don't know what is wrong, but focus, by all that is holy, wake up!"
The last part was underscored by a loud sound that sounded like someone hitting a desk with a fist. Kyoko blinked and gasped in reaction to the impulse. That moment, she started to drown.
Few seconds of struggle pulled her out from her relaxed, tranquil state and threw her into a state of minor panic. This was, of course, more familiar; it was something she experienced regularly when returning to her Evangelion.
It took her a few long moments later to recover, resurface, and take a deep breath. She felt the cold and hostile, but familiar presence retreat. 'Not ready…' was a whisper it left behind before vanishing into the depths.
"Soryu? Are. You. There?"
Kyoko shook her head. "Yes, Ikari, I'm here. Sorry, I… I don't know what happened, I just started sinking when I got back."
'Well, I could explain it… but I don't think this is the best moment', she gritted her teeth. 'Being insane is not the best qualification in an ally… and what happened is not exactly normal.'
"This does not sound good, but we will discuss it once you're back – unless you need to talk right now?" Yui offered, panic retreating from her voice, but leaving behind audible worry and a hint of care.
"No, I'm… fine", Kyoko lied with minimal hesitation. 'I will sort it out. I was sleepy, confused, and this will not happen again.'
A minor, very distant giggle responded from the depths. A chill ran down Kyoko's spine.
"Are you sure?" Yui's voice inquired.
"Yes. I will be fine", Kyoko reassured her, her voice shakier than a moment ago. "I was just startled, that's all. Thank you for waking me up", she forced a bit of cheer into her voice.
"All right. Now… did you handle the systems? How do you feel about your batteries?"
"I'm not sure", Kyoko resumed her professional posture. This came a bit easier than the cheer. "I do feel them slightly drained, but nothing serious. I'm looking at systems now, but there is not much to deactivate here…"
"I might've been exaggerating with the power use in the current mode. Just don't activate any more systems and you should be fine" Yui reassured her. "I see some movements and people with manual lights, but not much else. Let's wait until it becomes clear."
"Roger that, Ikari" Kyoko confirmed.
"And… Soryu?" came in, in a hesitant voice.
"Yes?"
"Don't scare me like this ever again, please?"
Yui's voice was calm, but it carried a lot of strange undertones, a lot of emotions, primarily of care and relief. If her body made it possible, Kyoko would have blushed right now.
"I will do my best to avoid that, Ikari", she stated, this time entirely sincere.
"Thank you."
The silence that followed was only slightly awkward.
...
The voices from outside were a welcome relief. Suddenly, without much warning, the Evangelion Cages began to bustle with activity, if an unusual one. There were people running around, shouting orders – by voice or some loudspeaker – and there were sounds indicative of physical effort. Kyoko chose to break the radio silence.
"Ikari, you can see outside, right? What is going on?"
"I am… not sure. They seem to be… attempting something despite lack of power. I currently see an Entry Plug lifted by hand on ropes…" she trailed off. "Oh. This is a manual launch, I believe. But there are no pilots around."
"I think I heard Asuka's voice just a minute ago, but it might've been anything… is it even possible to enter the base without the power?"
"As I know my… as I know Gendo, yes, there is. He likes to have an exit from every situation, multiple entry routes, and a number of alternatives to anything he touches. Question is whether they know-oh, they're here. You heard right, they were crawling through the ventilation ducts."
Kyoko chuckled. "Well, that had to look funny…"
"Well… there is no dignified way to crawl in crawlspaces, is there?" Yui sounded amused. "I'm getting my Entry Plug inserted. I believe you're next."
"So… see you in battle?" Kyoko's voice turned serious.
"Yes, Soryu. Good luck, and good hunting."
"To us both, Ikari."
...
"You're right, Ikari. There is no dignified way to move in here…", Kyoko noted dryly on Channel 8 when the Evangelions were heading out via some Evangelion-sized crawlspace. Asuka was focused on the task and perfectly able to walk, leaving Kyoko free to contemplate the internal architecture of NERV HQ.
Yui chuckled. "I admit it feels… unusual."
"Geez! This is so uncool!" grumbled Asuka. Kyoko giggled.
"Apparently, our children share the sentiment…" she directed a comment at Yui.
"We're approaching the vertical shaft" came over the comm from Unit-00. Kyoko turned her attention to the source of the voice, a voice she heard before, and that sounded somewhat nagging familiar…
Her thoughts were interrupted by Asuka opening the door to the shaft – or, more precisely, brutally kicking them out – and a difficult climb up the shaft. 'Well, I can imagine why there are no handholds there, but this is not an easy-'
"This is still uncool", Asuka grumbled once more, taking the point in climbing. She tried to continue, but some movement drew her attention.
"I'm hit, no damage, watch out, it's acid, it hurts" came over Channel 8 from Yui.
A second later, a warning "Watch out! Dodge!" came over the comm from Unit-00.
Kyoko suddenly realised why the voice of the last pilot sounded familiar. She knew that voice well, it was just a little older… 'She never mentioned a daughter!'
Once more, her thoughts got interrupted by sudden situation change: searing pain on the skin, loss of balance, a sensation of falling – it all came together within seconds.
"Soryu, grab zero, dig heels in!" came on Channel 8; Kyoko obeyed instinctively. The fact that there was no pilot input made the task far easier. She caught Unit-00 with her hand and kicked the walls as strong as she was able, while simultaneously trying to steady herself against grabbed Evangelion. The sound of the torn metal rung in her ears, the pain of strained muscles and tendons made her clench her teeth.
"Got it, Soryu. Good work", came on Channel 8.
"We are no longer falling. Good work, Pilot Ikari, Pilot Soryu" came in younger voice. Confused sounds were the only reply. "I suggest we… step aside. The Angel may attempt to use the corrosive substance again soon.
The pilots of Unit-01 and Unit-02 regained their composure remarkably quickly and scrambled up towards the passageway they started the journey up the shaft and started to form a combat plan.
Kyoko realised her growing thirst; their power was limited. "Ikari, are you all right?" she focused on the secret transmission channel.
"Yes, Soryu, I am fine", came a delayed reply. "We have been reckless with that stunt, let's hope our children will not think too much of it", the voice added with worry.
"They shouldn't, they're too focused on the current situation, they'll likely write it off as a reflex. Ikari… that girl in Unit-00…" Kyoko started.
"Not now, Soryu. I promise, I'll explain later as much as I will be able to", came a curt answer.
"… on offense, Wondergirl is the backup." Kyoko refocused on Asuka's voice; she seemed to provide the final details of her plan. "Got it?"
"Understood" came in unison from both Shinji and the strange girl.
"Okay, here. We. Go!" Asuka yelled. "Los!"
"Soryu, I'm leaving the channel open should we need to coordinate again", Yui noted in focused voice once Evangelions began to climb out.
"Roger that, Ikari" , Kyoko acknowledged. "Guide his hand well."
"I always will", Yui replied with absolute certainty in her voice.
Kyoko smiled and focused on Asuka's actions. 'Most dangerous position. Of course she chose it for herself, my Asuka, always brave, to a fault… empower AT Field, reduce the pain. Let's face this… together, mother and daughter.'
...
A sound of triumph came over the comms from Unit-01. There was a far softer "Good work, son… now I hope they will regain power and reconnect us… see you then, Soryu" on Channel 8.
Kyoko managed to acknowledge the message before darkness surrounded her mere seconds later; the Evangelion powered down. 'What… oh. That was a pilot command, of course… Asuka powered down the moment she realized combat was over. Well, the moment she was done bragging. She knew it would take a moment to be retrieved.'
Kyoko could not see her daughter, but she could feel her presence all too well. Emotions radiating from her were confusing, chaotic – Kyoko was beginning to get used to it, but it still was a little taxing to experience. 'I guess this is a normal thing for a teenager… Tell me, my dear girl, what do you feel?' Kyoko opened herself a little bit more to sensations from the pilot.
There was a sense of triumph, yes, and joy. 'This is expected, of course, that was a victory under rather difficult circumstances.'
There was pride. 'Of course, she withstood great pain… no, wait, it is not about her… she is proud of him. This is… strange.'
There was also longing in the mix, affection, infatuation, desire-
Kyoko stopped herself right there. Delving into that would be simply wrong, it felt far too… intimate. But it was clearly directed at the Ikari boy. 'She… she is in love with him. Consciously or not, she is. Proud of him and angry at him for not noticing. This… this may turn a little bit complicated.'
She extended the softest touch towards her daughter, one that could easily be interpreted as Asuka's own imagination. She felt her daughter's mind and arms wrap around her hand, and she held her firm. The turmoil from the emotions started to slowly subside.
"What should I do, Mama…?" came a soft whisper.
Kyoko's first instinct was to speak up, but this would have been a stupid idea, one she has been warned away by Yui more than once. She moved a bit closer to Asuka, embracing her; Asuka did not seem to notice the change.
"He… he doesn't care. He avoids me. He ignores even the most blatant hints, I bet he's laughing at me afterwards!" A wave of irritation, mixed with sadness, followed. Kyoko started to realise the problem. "He is such an idiot!" Asuka yelled and threw a punch against – as Kyoko suspected – imaginary Shinji; then, she fell back, resigned, radiating anger. Kyoko kept her in her arms and hugged her tighter.
Kyoko felt torn. 'If I do anything more, and Ikari learns of it, I'll have an earful… not to mention, she may distrust me as reckless, too emotional. If I don't… I might never have this chance again…'
She focused an image of herself whispering to Asuka's ear, trying to be as subtle as she can. "Talk to him, dear", she whispered the realisation she had a moment ago. "He is blind, not stupid. He doesn't see you like him."
Asuka suddenly radiated confusion, mixed with irritation, soon to be replaced by surprise and worry. "God, am I hearing voices now? Or…"
Kyoko withdrew carefully, leaving only a soft touch behind. 'I did all I could do here and now… I hope you're smart, my little daughter…'
Asuka's worry has been replaced by hope. "I guess… I guess the best thoughts come in the darkness, right?" she spoke up. "I never really believed in dead watching over us… but if it was you, Mama… thank you." A wave of emotions hit Kyoko again, making her withdraw entirely. She wanted to cry, and once more she cursed the lack of this simple ability in a purportedly advanced organism like an Evangelion.
They both, mother and daughter, sat in the silence, introspecting.
...
An unknown time later, time that felt like an eternity, Kyoko felt an impulse; some auxiliary systems powered up on external order. "Unit-02, brace for impact!" came on the comm channel in the voice of their commander, Katsuragi; no image was visible. A second later Kyoko felt a sharp tug of her body.
"Hey! You! Careful! I'm a fair maiden, not a sack of potatoes!" Asuka yelled, startled and thrown off.
"Stop complaining, you'll be out soon", countered the voice.
"I feel… fine here", Asuka stated calmly, her voice carrying a hint of surprise. "I just don't like to be thrown around! If I feel it here, submerged, how brutal it must be to my Eva?" she pointed out with clear annoyance.
"There, there. Don't worry, no Evas will be hurt during the recovery" Katsuragi replied in a somehow tired voice and closed the channel. Asuka grumbled silently and reclined again. The peace and contemplative mood were gone, Kyoko noticed with sadness, but Asuka seemed to be happier.
And it was all that counted.
...
Kyoko suddenly felt a tug at her soul; it subsided quickly and was followed by all her Evangelion senses returning – at least those that usually operated while in her state. 'Still no vision, regrettably. Is this typical for the standard models, or is my body flawed?' Her thirst also abated – power was back.
She tried to connect with Unit-01, but Channel 8 was dead. 'She is either busy sorting out her damage, or they connected me first. No matter, I can wait.'
Kyoko, despite just having been in battle and suffering damage, was feeling content, even happy. She had a chance to spend time with her daughter, surreptitious and imperfect it was, it was still time with her. She was looking forward to time with her… friend? Confidante? Ally? 'Well, that is something we will have to sort out… someday. With Ikari. Maybe I am fond of her just because she is the only human… well… the only person I can talk to. Well, doesn't matter. I could die any time, and she is good company-'
A chill run down her spine when she realized she could have just summoned her strange companion with that thought about death; she braced herself for the unpleasant sensation.
Nothing came. No whispers. No voices. No cold. No fear.
'Odd. Not that I don't welcome the peace…'
Suddenly, she felt a familiar tug. 'Oh. Isn't that an invitation to Ikari Mansion…' she managed to think before-
...
Kyoko walked out from between the trees; she was no longer becoming disoriented when coming here, even if this time, Yui seemed to have pulled her more violently. 'Or was it a push? Strange', she mused on that for a moment before turning back to feelings of this place.
'It began to feel like… home? Am I living here now, with her?'. A familiar silhouette loomed not too far away; Kyoko sped up to meet her. She noticed minor changes: a bush close to treeline was damaged, there was a bird feeder just past the line – but filled with cookies and other sweets instead of grain – and there was a small patch of scorched grass. 'Hm, something seems to be up… I will have to ask her about it. Likely some kind of joke she would smile on slyly and either explain or tell me to guess', she smiled to herself.
Yui turned suddenly on the sound of steps, her face showing a large bruise, her eyes wary. A sharp fireplace poker in her hand was pointing at Kyoko. "Soryu?"
Kyoko blinked in abject surprise: "Yes? Who else?"
She looked around. There was more to it than just the bruise: Yui's dress was dishevelled, the table was in pieces, the cups were shattered, and the mansion was missing most of its window glass. "Ikari… what happened?"
Yui left a sigh of relief, dropped the poker, and spoke up, her voice mixing exasperation and dry wit, but her words turned Kyoko's face pale.
"Well. Why didn't you mention you have an evil twin?"
...
Author's notes
For those interested in the story Yui told Kyoko: it is a parable, taken from "Prayer of the Frog, part one" by Anthony de Mello. I chose not to quote it entirely due to its length and uncertainty about copyright laws (the tale itself is ancient, but the version and commentary is not).
For detail-oriented readers, about battle with Matarael: I consciously decided to disregard the rather unexplainable scene when Pilots are sitting in their plug suits a overlooking the city; Evangelions are not in sight, and it is highly unlikely they would be able to sprint there, in their Evas, in the time they had left; while that scene is climatic, it is quite impossible. Thus, I chose to replace it with Asuka and Kyoko interaction.