(takes place after Evie and John are married, but before she gets pregnant)

Prompt #45 - God

"I don't believe this," Elizabeth said, unable to trust what she was hearing.

"This is worse than the time that Robert thought Trevor was Sancho Panza," Radek commented.

Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "Why was he the only one affected?"

"My guess would be because he's the only one who drank the wine?" Rodney offered sarcastically, the answer obvious. "The natives told us that the nakatali was for the leaders of the clans only; that's why they only gave it to him."

"Did they also tell you how long the effects would take to wear off?"

"A day," Rodney said. "Two tops."

Elizabeth looked down to the observation room, at John who was still arguing with Ronon. "Well… If he's not any danger to anyone or anything, I think we should let him go and just wait for him to return to normal."

"Fine, but don't be surprised when he starts making demands," Rodney warned.

"I think I can handle it," Elizabeth said with a confident smile.

XXXXXX

"I swear, if you don't stop following me around, I'm going to tell Dr. Weir to lock you up, sir," Evie promised.

"Surely you cannot expect me to just walk away from such exquisite and unparalleled beauty?" John asked.

Evie made a show of rolling her eyes, but his words left her with a warm, fuzzy feeling. "Just…stop hovering, please, sir?" she asked, trying to finish the favor Michael had asked of her.

John sat down in a chair a few feet away. After watching her for a minute, he declared, "You will share my bed."

Evie choked on her coffee and the other three scientists in the room all turned and stared at Colonel Sheppard. The whole city had, of course, been informed of his condition, but it was still an amusing sight to behold.

"Sir?" Evie managed, wiping the coffee off her chin.

"We will go this instant!" he decided cheerfully, crossing to her and taking her hand.

"Go where?" Evie asked, attempting to withdraw her hand.

"To my chambers! To share in the pleasure of each other!"

Evie could hear the other three snickering. "I don't think so, sir," she answered, managing to get her hand out of his grasp.

He looked shocked. "Are you refusing to share a bed with your god?"

She rolled her eyes, hoping the drug got out of his system soon. "Yes. I'm refusing to sleep with you."

"But I am your god!" John maintained. "You should be honored that I would offer you this divine pleasure."

"While I'm sure it would be 'divinely wonderful,'" she said, exaggerating the words and making quotation marks with her fingers, "I think I'll pass."

When she turned back to her work, he threatened in a dramatic voice, "I could punish you for this."

"Guess I'll have to take that chance, sir," she said, not looking up.

"Rodney!" John called into his radio. "This woman refuses to share my bed."

Rodney could be heard on the other end muttering, "Oh, for pete's sake. Do I have to babysit you… Who are you hitting on, Colonel?"

"Lieutenant Brooks refuses to come to bed with me," John answered self-importantly.

Rodney tried to disguise his immediate laughter with a cough. "Refusing is entirely her right, Colonel," he informed the delusional pilot.

"But I'm her god!"

"No, you're not," Rodney said for what had to be the hundredth time that day. "You're a Colonel in the US Air Force; you're not a god."

"Silence, Rodney!" John ordered. "Speak such blasphemy again and I shall be forced to punish you as well."

Rodney grumbled into the radio just loud enough for John to hear, "Yeah, okay, whatever…"

Realizing that he wasn't going to get any help from his underling McKay, John returned his attention to Evie, who was still working at a computer station. He narrowed his eyes at her, then grabbed her arm, pulled her to her feet, and kissed her soundly.

Caught off-guard, she just stood there for several seconds before remembering that there were other people in the room and that she should be fighting him off. Knowing that he had a good grip on her and that a shove probably wouldn't do it, Evie reached up and slapped him.

John reeled backwards, dropping her arm. "Of all the insolence!" he cried, bringing a hand to his cheek. "You will pay for what you have done to your god!"

"I'm sure I will, sir," she said. "But you know what? I'm done with the computer, so I think I'll just be leaving now." Thus said, she grabbed her folder and ran out the door.

XXXXXX

"I refuse to eat this rubbish!" John said, hurling his tray to the ground. "I am your god, and I wish to be treated as such! Now, woman. Cook me something worthy."

Mya frowned and looked like she might just whack him with her spatula.

"Sheppard, just leave her alone and eat the food," Ronon said, pulling on John's arm.

John yanked free. "I will not be bossed around by you! I demand that this woman cook me a feast right now! I--" John suddenly brought a hand to his head. "Whoa…" he said, feeling very dizzy.

"Easy," Ronon said, leading Sheppard back to his chair.

"What is happening to me?" John asked, slumping over against the chair. Ronon didn't answer. John clutched his head as he began seeing stars. Then just as suddenly as it had started, the dizziness went away. He opened his eyes. "Ronon?"

"Yeah."

He straightened. "What just happened?"

"I dunno. How do you feel?"

"Hungry," John answered. "What's for dinner?"

"Mashed potatoes and roast beef."

"Sounds good; I'm starving."

Ronon grinned. "Good to have you back."

XXXXXX

About an hour after the drug had finished wearing off, John got his memories back.

And he immediately began apologizing.

He saved Evie for last and went to visit her quarters around ten that night. He found her beside her bed, folding laundry. She looked up when she heard the door open, then turned back to her clean clothes and asked, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," John answered, slouching against the door frame. When she didn't say anything else, he spoke up. "So… Apparently I made a pretty big idiot of myself today."

"Did you now?"

"Rodney's always teased me about having a Kirk complex," he continued. "I guess a god complex is just the next step up."

"I guess," she echoed.

"So, I've just come from apologizing to a lot of people."

"That's good."

"And I saved the best for last."

"Oh?"

"I'm sorry for embarrassing you in the lab."

"And…?" she prompted.

"And what? You want me to apologize for kissing you? I know you liked it!"

He saw her pause in her folding and grin. "Maybe just a little…"

She heard his footsteps approaching, but still jumped when he slid his arms around her waist. "Will you share my bed, Evangeline?" he murmured beside her ear then began kissing her neck.

"I think…I could be persuaded to…" She giggled when his lips tickled her skin.

"You know, there's something you should apologize for, too," he said.

"What's that?"

"You slapped me!" he cried, indignant.

"Oh, yeah." She giggled. "Sorry."

"Are not. What am I going to do with you?"

"You said were gonna punish me," she reminded coyly.

"Mmhmm." He took her shoulders and turned her around to face him. "And I can think of a hundred ways…"

"Sadist."

"Tease."

"Cocky flyboy."

"Are you gonna get those folded clothes off the bed so we don't wrinkle them?"

She bowed exaggeratedly before him. "As my lord commands."

John grinned.