"Do you enjoy Winterfell?" Lord Rickard said entering my chamber. I continued to gaze throughout the window. "Yes, very much actually. Both the castle and the people within." I said smiling. Rickard sat himself next to me, looking out the window as well. "I heard about your sparring with the boys today. Two out of three, not bad." "Both the Stark boys were good fighters, but one of them fought smarter than the other." "Yes, Catelyn told me about Robb and his skills." I turned towards my grandfather. "No, I was talking about Jon. He was the best fighter." "The bastard? Really?" Rickard asked with surprise. "Grandfather, his name is Jon, not The Bastard. Moreover, do not sound surprised of his skills. Even though he has Snow as his surname, he is as much of a Stark as Robb, and you could believe he is even trueborn because he has more Stark features than the other children do." He did not look satisfied with how I had defended Jon. Rickard stood up and said; "Remember, child. We are here to make our house strong." He gave me a soft kiss on my forehead and left my chamber. I turned my attention throughout the window again, admiring the castle and its beauty.
"Kristyna. Come here." Jon said grabbing me by my arm. We ran in a dark and cold hallway, which never seemed to end. "Jon, where are you taking me?" I asked giggling. He turned around only giving me a smile, no words. The dark hallway turned into a desert white with snow and my eyes used a few seconds to recover from the massive change from total blackness to the white landscape. This time Jon did not smile when he turned towards me. His eyes was filled with sadness. I walked up close to him and caressed his cheek. Jon took my hands in his. "Kristyna, look… I am so sorry, but I promised and I cannot break a promise. I will miss you day and night." I felt the tears running down my cheeks freeze in the cold. "Goodbye." Jon whispered and kissed my lips lightly. He disappeared in the white landscape. I closed my eyes, hoping to see Jon in front of me when I opened them up again, but I only found myself in the dark, cold hallway we had been running in earlier. "Jon, where are you!" I shouted, falling on my knees.
I threw myself up from the bed. My heart was pounding and my body was covered in sweat. It took a while before I recognized that I was still in Winterfell. It was still dark outside, but I got up and threw on a thin dress and my cloak. I needed to get some fresh air, so I went to the training yard we had been earlier. Clearly, I was not the only one who had a restless night. I approached the person sitting by the fence. When I got closer to the person, I recognized it was Jon, by his black curls. "Can't sleep?" I asked. Jon nodded in agreement. "Me neither." I said, sitting myself next to him. Both stayed quiet for a while, unsure of what we could say to one another. I broke the silence with giggles and Jon looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "What's so funny?" "You." I said smiling to him. "Me? Why so?" "Because you are always so quiet and you seem so tense when I am around. Are you afraid of girls or something?" This made Jon laugh a bit. "No. I am not afraid of girls, but I do not really have much to talk to them about." "We have things to talk about, but you're still tense around me." "You're a Lady, while I'm a bastard. " Jon said looking at the ground. I rose up from the ground, brushing off the dirt on my cloak. "You know, I defended you today when I talked with my grandfather, because he called you The Bastard." Jon looked up at me, confusion in his eyes. "Kristyna.. I…" I walked off before Jon could finish what he was about to say.
The following day Jon did not show up at breakfast. I asked both Theon and Robb where he could be, but neither of them knew. I excused myself from the breakfast to go and look for Jon. He was nowhere to be found in the castle or outside in the yard. The only place I had not looked yet was in the godswood. The godswood at Winterfell was much bigger than the one at Karhold. It was thick with trees at the entrance, but it got more open further in. In the centre of the godswood stood the white heart tree and a small pound in front of it. Jon was sitting there, looking down at the pound. "Are you here to pray?" he spoke up. "No, I came to find you. You were not at the breakfast." "Why are you looking for me? Shouldn't you be with Robb?" "Do I hear some jealousy?" I said teasing. "Just answer the question." "Just answer the question." I mocked, trying to sound like him. He gave me a strict look. "Okay, okay. My grandfather probably wants me to get on Robbs good side, but I'm here looking for you because I want to talk to you." His face softened. "I don't think it is a good idea that we talk here." He said. "Me neither. Meet me at midnight outside the walls of Winterfell, then we can talk, Jon Snow."
The night was cold and dark, but the stars lit it up pretty well. Shadow and I stood there waiting, when he gates carefully opened and Jon's head peaked out. "Where are all the guards?" Jon asked. "I have my ways." A smile appeared in his face. "Now, come on." I said jumping up on Shadow. I offered a hand to Jon, helping him up as well. I took the rains and made Shadow gallop. When we came to the forest, I stopped Shadow. "Where are we going, Jon?" "Here, let me take the rains. I know of a place we can be." Jon took the rains and pushed himself closer to me. I liked the feeling of being in Jon's arms. It was very comforting and safe. At the sparring-fights, when Jon first embraced me, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. I had the same feeling now too. I hadn't been paying much attention to where he was going, because of all my thoughts running through my head, but we found ourself in a very overgrown forest. "We need to walk the rest." Jon said mounting off Shadown and grabbed me by the waist, lifting me down. "Thank you." I said smiling. Luckily, it was so dark, that Jon could not see the blushing on my face. We tied up Shadow to a tree and began walking. Jon was taking the lead, guiding us through the thick bushes and trees. He was walking fast, making it hard to follow him. I ran up grabbing his hand, not to lose him off sight. When I grabbed his hand, Jon stopped, making me crash into him. He looked down on our hands and gave me an asking look when our eyes met. "You were walking so fast and I don't want to lose you out of sight. That's why I grabbed your hand." Jon began walking again, holding a tight grip on my hand. We had walked for a little while, and the thick forest opened up. In front of us stood an old watchtower. "We're here." Jon said with a low voice.
I held Jon's hand all the way to the watchtower and he guided me to the top of it. "I come here sometimes when I need to gather my thoughts." Jon spoke up. I let go of his hand and walked to the edge of the watchtower. It was far down to the ground, and I stepped back a few steps. I turned around seeing Jon sitting there looking at me. "What?" I asked with raised eyebrows." Jon was just smiling. "Nothing." I walked to where he was sitting, and sat myself next to him. "Is that so?" He was quiet for a while, looking at the stars above us. "I don't understand. Why does a highborn like you, want to talk to a bastard like me?" "Because you're the one I can relate to the most. I am not a bastard, but in my mother and fathers eyes, I probably am." Jon gave me a questioning look, hinting for me to tell more. "My father always wanted a boy, but instead he got this girl. What he really does not like is that my grandfather, Lord Karstark, favours me more than he favours his own son. My father is probably afraid that my grandfather will give me the rights of Karhold when he dies. You do not know how much hatred he has for me and we hardly speak to one another. It is almost the same story with my mother. She does not approve my un-lady like behaviour." "I am sorry, I did not know." Jon said with almost a bit sadness in his tone. "I have heard how harsh Lady Catelyn treats you. It must be tiring for you too?" "Yes." We talked a lot about everything we had experienced and generally life. The very closed and silent Jon opened up and got more and more comfortable in my presence. The night grew colder for each hour and I felt the cold come creeping in on my body. "You're freezing. Come here." Suddenly Jon said, dragging me closer to him and shared his big warm cloak with me. My teeth was still making noises and my body was shaking a bit. Jon took his arm around my waist, making me come even closer. I took my arm around his waist and laid my head on his chest. The warmth from his body felt good, and I could not help blushing. "Thought you would endure the cold, because you're a northern." Jon said joking, making us both laugh.
While laying on Jon's chest, I could not help thinking back on my dream where we had kissed. Would it be the same tingling feeling I had kissing him in the dream? Well only one way to find out, I thought for myself. I sat myself a bit up, making me look into Jon's dark eyes and took my hand that was around his waist, moving it to his cheek. Slowly I leaned in and kissed his soft lips. The same tingling feeling I had in my dream, appeared, and it felt good. Jon was a bit tense and unsure of what to do when I first kissed him, but he began to kiss back. I twinned my fingers in his curly hair, pulling it slightly. Jon moaned, but gently pushed me away. "Something wrong?" I asked confused. "We cannot do this." Jon said with his dark voice. "But you want to?" "I haven't been able to think of anything else than you ever since you arrived at Winterfell. But I knew when I first saw you that you were not meant for someone like me." I did not say anything back to him, just kissed him lightly on the lips and laid my head on his chest again.
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