--And we take a peek into the Soul Society today! And don't you go telling me, 'so-and-so's dead', or 'that is way out of character!', because, you know what? I don't care. And this is really not located any time in the story of Bleach. So I can do what I want with the characters, got it? No one's dead. So there. (Byakuya warning. This is for TheOptimisticPessimist, who requested it!)
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Maybe I should copy and paste this each time…no, that'd be too much work, too. You know, disclaimers waste 30 seconds of my life each time I write them.
10:01 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society
Gin rapidly dialed buttons on a phone. "Like greased lightening!"
"Just hurry up," growled Renji. "I don't have all day."
Gin put the phone to his ear. "Hello, is this Byakuya?"
A voice on the other phone answered, "Yes, it is. And this had better be important."
"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" Gin asked, all serious.
"What the-"
"Then you'd better let him out!" Gin hung up the phone and started laughing his fool head off. "This is great! This is truly the most devious plot ever!"
Renji just rolled his eyes.
10:03 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Roof
"Come on, Uryuu!" Keigo whined, waving the cape. "Just put it on. It'll look cool."
Uryuu was getting irritated. He pushed his glasses up.
"Uryuuuuuuuuu!" Mizurio joined in. "Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?"
"Sugar and tigers and bears, oh my!" sang Orihime.
But Keigo was not giving up. He had decided that he would wear Uryuu down if it was the last thing he did. Okay, maybe not the LAST thing…but you get the point.
10:06 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hall Closet
"Have you ever wondered why these super heroes wear tights?" Rukia asked, flipping through a Superman comic that had fallen on her head.
"No." Ichigo was trying his best to act grouchy, but he was getting tired.
"You know, if you keep scowling, some day your face is going to stick like that," Rukia said casually.
Which, of course, made Ichigo scowl more.
"And why do they wear their underpants on the OUTSIDE?" Rukia turned the comic book different ways, examining it. "This is just stupid. And unrealistic."
Ichigo thumped the wall with his fist. "Rukia, would you STOP COMPLAINING?"
"Not for that attitude, I won't," Rukia said smugly. Then she picked up a colorful packet that had also fallen, along with the comic book. "What's this?"
Suddenly, Ichigo had a perfect plan to get back at Rukia for all her complaining. "It's…candy…" he said vaguely.
"Hmm…" Rukia examined the packet. "What kind of candy?"
Ichigo shrugged. "Just candy." Ichigo, acting annoyed, grabbed the packet. "You open it and pour it into your mouth, moron."
Rukia played right into his trap. "I know that! I'm not a moron, you moron!" Rukia snatched the packet back.
Ichigo stifled an evil laugh.
Rukia ripped open the packet, paused a minute, then dumped it's contents into her mouth. She sat for a minute, then a strange expression came over her face.
Ichigo waited.
Rukia's hands flew to her mouth. "It's exploding!" she cried, waving her hands.
Ichigo couldn't contain himself any longer. He burst out laughing.
"Ichigo, what did you do!" Rukia was trying to get the candy out of her mouth. "Are you trying to kill me!"
"Relax, that's what it's supposed to do!" laughed Ichigo. "And the expression on your face…priceless!"
10:06 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society
Yachiru dialed the phone buttons with lighting speed. "Beep beep beep!"
"Go, Yachiru, go!" cheered one of the peons.
The phone was picked up.
"Hello!" Yachiru chirped. "Is this Captain Kuchiki?"
"Yes." It was…Byakuya! Dun dun dun!
"Is your refrigerator running?" Yachiru giggled.
"What…"
"Then you'd better go catch it!" Yachiru delivered the punch line and hung up.
"Go Yachiru!" Gin patted her on the back. "The oldest one in the book!"
That's where I leave off, dear readers. This one I actually had to work for. So it may be a bit short. I'll keep 'em coming, if you keep reviewing! I Heart Edward Cullen wants me to add some fluff...so I will!