Disclaimer: I am not George Lucas or J.K. Rowling.
Percy and Hedwig walk through the desert of Surrey.
Percy. How did we get into this mess? I really don't know. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.
Hedwig. Better than the rocky mesa, Perce.
Percy. [ignoring Hedwig] I've simply got to rest before I fall apart. My joints are almost frozen.
Hedwig. C'mon. Keep moving.
Percy. What a desolate place this is.
Hedwig turns away.
Where do you think you're going? I'm not going that way. It's much too rocky. This way is much easier.
Hedwig. [series of beeps]
Percy. What mission? What are you talking about? I've just about had enough of you! Go that away! You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted pile of feathers!
Hedwig storms off.
And don't let me catch you following me, begging for help because you won't get it!
Exit Hedwig.
Malfunctioning little twerp. This is all his fault! He tricked me into going this way, but he'll do no better! [sees something in the horizon] Wait, what's that? A transport! I'm saved! [waving his arms] Over here! Over here! Help! Please help!
Percy is kidnapped by gnomes.
Exit Percy and the gnomes.
Enter Hedwig.
Hedwig goes through rock mesa.
Enter first gnome, who fires on Hedwig.
Hedwig screams, and collapses.
First Gnome. Utinni!
Gnomes carry Hedwig away, and place him in large vehicle.
Hedwig awakes.
Enter Percy.
Percy. Hedwig? HD-WG! It is you! It is you!
Exit all.