Title: The Bingo Jobs
Author: Trapper Creek Kaniac
Fandom: Leverage
Category: Humor/friendship
Pairing:
Rating: PG
Warning(s): none

Summary: A series of short drabbles written for Leverageland's bingo challenge.

Author's Note: Not a gift fic this time, but enjoy!

Title: Welcoming Sleep
Word Count: 168

The team was just coming off a brutal job and Eliot was exhausted. He was tired and nearly everything hurt. He craved sleep. Fuck the ghosts that sometimes still haunted his dreams, he wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for a hundred years.

Nate was finishing up with the client and Sophie offered to drive him home but the hitter had shrugged her off, grunting that he was fine. As he climbed out of his Challenger and looked at flight of stairs before him, he almost wished he hadn't been so quick to dismiss the grifter's offer.

The stairs were hell but finally Eliot reached the comfort of his apartment. He dropped his keys and shrugged off his jacket. His ribs protested as he bent to remove his shoes; they'd need to be wrapped but that could wait until later. He was too tired to remove the rest of his clothes and simply climbed into bed.

He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Title: Plans
Summary: Parker tries to convince Eliot to come along with her to a chocolate festival.
Word Count: 123

"Please, Eliot?" Parker asked again and put on her best begging face as she flopped down next to him on Nate's couch.

"No." was the hitter's firm answer.

"Why not?"

"Because, I said I have plans."

Parker frowned, obviously not believing him. "Like what?"

"Plans." This was Parker after all, and he didn't feel like explaining why he didn't want to get drug along to some chocolate festival and have to deal with the already bouncy thief on a sugar high.

There was a long pause as Parker thought over his answer. Then...

"So, is she hot?"

Eliot gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Damn it, Parker! You don't just..." He looked at her and she seemed genuinely interested. He sighed. "Yeah, she's hot."

Title: Anti-thief Dust
Summary: Parker is in the middle of stealing a painting when she suddenly can't stop sneezing. (set between the First and Second David jobs)
Word Count: 221

Parker tried every trick she knew to stifle the sneeze that was making her nose tingle. She was in a museum air duct with a small, and very valuable painting. She'd snatched it as soon as the guard watching it had turned away. Now was not the time to sneeze.

Achoo.

Parker buried her nose in the crook of her arm but that still didn't prevent a squeak that sounded incredibly loud in the small space from escaping. She cringed as she imagined the security guard turning and noticing the empty spot on the wall and the missing Rembrandt. She wished Eliot was there to take the guard out with one of his powerful punches, or Hardison to set off the fire alarms, or even Sophie to pretend to twist her ankle and provide a distraction.

No time for that now, she was on her own. Parker grabbed the painting and began crawling back the way she'd came. She hadn't gotten very far when she felt the beginning of another sneeze tickling her nose.

"Seriously?" She whispered furiously to herself. Had someone dusted the air ducts with some kind of special anti-thief power?

Several sneezes later Parker was finally free of the air duct and disappearing into the calm night air, leaving a group of frenzied security guards in her wake.

Title: Weighted Words
Summary: The Boston Herald reviews Sophie's latest theater role.
Word Count: 206

"How bad is it?" Nate asked, looking at the solemn, almost grim, faces of Eliot and Hardison as he poured himself another cup of coffee. He was very tempted to add a splash of Irish whiskey, he had a feeling he was going to need it.

Eliot was hardly ever one to mince words. "Bad."

"Very bad." Hardison agreed.

Nate nodded.

"Look, Nate," Hardison continued. "We can't hide it forever, she's going to see them sooner or later..."

The agonized shriek from the other room was answer enough. Sophie had managed to get a hold of the reviews for her performance in the latest play she had gotten a part in.

The three of them exchanged glances as the sound of high heels on wood echoed through the apartment. Hardison and Eliot mumbled an excuse and headed for the door, bumping into each other in their rush to be out of sight when Sophie reached the kitchen.

"Nate, did you see these?" Sophie was waving around a paper. More specifically, the entertainment section.

Nate made a noncommittal noise, carefully sipping his coffee.

"They said I was awful! That-"

"I-I thought you made a great Evil Queen."

Sophie cocked her head, her features softening slightly. "Really?"

"Really."

Title: Happiness
Summary: A lot of things make Eliot happy, sometimes even the team.
Word Count: 226

A lot of things made Eliot happy. Music; a quiet day spent relaxing with cold beer and a worm in the water - Hardison's stupid video game didn't even come close; cooking; even the team. Mention that fact to any of them, and your body will never, ever be found, Eliot would make sure of that.

Cooking relaxed him. Cooking for the team was also his way of showing his appreciation for the them without having to come out and admit it. Also, Hardison's eating habits were absolutely atrocious. The things the hacker ate on a daily basis could hardly be considered food. Eliot had given up trying to convince Parker that cereal wasn't food but he drew the line at gummy frogs.

Eliot felt the day's tension slipping from his muscles as he dropped the julienned peppers into the hot pan with the melted butter and browned garlic. He breathed in the delicious smell with a contented sigh and took a long sip from his cold beer.

This is home, Eliot thought as he watched Sophie talking to Nate, swirling her glass of red wine, and the mastermind smiled in response. His eyes drifted across the room to where Parker was pretending to be interested in whatever Hardison was saying about one of his games with the elves and gnomes-or whatever those things were called.

Title: Tangled Lines
Summary: Hardison hates rappelling.
Word Count:144

"Wwwhhhhoooooaaaaaaaaaaaa."

Hardison went flying through the air, the street reaching up to meet him at an alarming rate.

Alec Hardison was not clumsy by nature but when it came to rappelling he was always a tangle of arms and legs. He was perfectly happy to sit behind his computer all day instead of jumping, or in his case, being pushed off of very tall buildings, thank you very much.

And yet, somehow Parker had managed to talk – or was it trick? – him into testing one of her newly designed rigs. Hardison clung to the side of the building, willing himself not to look down. He didn't need to see Eliot to know that he was standing on the rooftop, laughing. He was glad that this wasn't a job, where they'd be wearing their earbuds and the hitter's laughter would be echoing in his ear.

Title: Stealing the Rose Festival
Word Count:130

"We should go to the Rose Festival!" Parker announced one day out of the blue when the team had a day off.

"What?" Nate, Sophie, Eliot, and Hardison all turned to look at the thief.

"The Rose Festival." Parker repeated. "When we were here for that gold job we didn't get to stay and explore the city. It's a tradition... they have parades and candy and all kinds of cool stuff. Wouldn't it be fun?"

Nate and Sophie exchanged glances.

"That does sound kind of fun, I have been wanting to explore Portland." Sophie said. Hardison said he thought it would be fun, and Eliot perked up a little bit when Parker mentioned the rodeo princesses. It was settled then; they were going to go steal themselves a Rose Festival.