October 2013
Its been a month and Joe still hasnt woken up and my heart breaks a little more everyday Nick asks me why Im still here and I tell him cause I love Joe simple as that hes my world and I love him. Blanda showed up a few weeks ago just to antagonize me so Denise and Paul forbade her from coming back cause Joe needs positive energy around him not any negativity and thats all she brings. Denise confessed to me that Blanda was changing Joe for the worst and causing unneccesary tension between him and his brothers so she prays that when Joe wakes up he'll finally cut her loose she isnt right for him and I couldnt help but agree with her cause I wanted him for myself when he wakes up so hopefully he will choose me in the end. They moved him to a private hospital in LA and the tour has officially been cancelled but the story thry are going with is a rift between the brothers so no one finds out he's in a coma they do not want the media hounding them and the hospital so right now the press thinks hes away in Paris vacationing.
"Hey Dani hows the little one you are getting so big I cannot wait to see her when she is born." I cooed as I laid my hand on her stomache feeling the little girl moving around in her mommy's tummy it was quite a feeling. "Im good and counting the months until she comes into this world and I just pray that Joe is awake to see his niece born I miss him." She said with tears and I hugged her calming her down letting her know its not good for the baby and she did calm down I left her alone with her brother in law for a while as I sank to the floor crying into my hands he really needed to wake up I couldnt handle this anymore I needed him. I felt strong arms wrapped around me and looked up to see Kevin as he held me and I cried in his arms letting all my emotions out as he held me tight cooing in my ear trying to soothe my pain. "Oh Kev he needs to wake up for me I need him more than anything I love him so damn much and I just want to see his beautiful hazel eyes open and staring into mine letting me know he is ok." I sobbed and Kevin held me tighter as I felt another pair of arms looking up to see Nick holding me as well, "hes going to be ok Dem I promise Joe still loves you I know he does and he will wake up for you and his unborn niece he is so excited about her arrival he wouldnt miss it for the world. All we can do is pray and have faith he will pull through and talk to him the doctors say he can hear us so thats what we will do ok Ill be here for u always Dem youre my sister and I love you."
Nick told me and I smiled as I held him tighter as well as Kevin held the both of us giving us strength and support in this sad and tragic time. Dani came out and hugged me as Kevin and Nick went to spend time with Joe talking to him begging him to wake up, "Dani will u come to the chapel with me I want to light a candle for Joe and say a prayer for him." I asked and she nodded yes letting Kevin know where we would be before walking to the chapel with me as her arm was wrapped around me giving me comfort. We got to the chapel and I lighted a candle for Joe before sitting in a pew closing my eyes and starting my prayer, "God I know I havent been praying to you lately and Im sorry but I need you now more than ever please God bring Joe back to me I didnt realize how much I loved him until now and I am begging you to please bring him back his family needs him and so do I he has a whole life ahead of him and we still need to get back together again and get married someday cause I know Joe is my soulmate and I need him back so please bring him back to me and I will serve you faithfully and cherish every moment I get with him so please God bring him back to me I beg of you. In the name of God the son and the holy spirit amen." I finished and lighted another candle for him before standing back up and hugging Danielle as we made our way back to Joe's room.
Nick, Kevin and Danielle went to eat something leaving me with Joe as I laid in the bed next to him as I held him. "Remember the day we said I love you to each other for the first time it was the best day of my life and I knew we were meant to be and my love for you grew even more. Well I know you and i are meant to be Joey I feel it in my heart and although weve been seperated for a while I know you feel the same so you need to wake up for me baby ok so we can finally have our happily ever after Joey cause we are forever and you and I both know that it just took us a while to get here. This song I am going to sing to you right now helped me in my darkest hour so I am singing it to you so it can bring you back to me and lead you away from the darkness its called Nigtingale so here goes I hope you can hear me." I told him as I started strumming my guitar and singing the song that was a light to my darkness hoping it would lead Joe back to me. ( watch?v=dz2w_ld1J6I)
I sang my heart out praying he could hear me through the fog in his mind that was keeping him from me so I can finally have him back in my arms where he belonged for forever.
October 2010
I have been here for almost two months and I have tried to help my Demi the best I could and it was making things easier for her but I still sae the lost look in her eyes unless she was with me or Maddy and I was beyond worried maybe coming back wasnt to stop her from going to the treatment center but to get her in sooner before she broke down and I needed to do it fast becasue she was getting worse and the mood swings were getting to be too damn much but I knew she needed help and I was going to make sure she got it. "Hey baby you feeling better Im worried about you love and I know you just want my help but maybe you need professional help babygirl." I told her and she glared at me, "I just need you Joe but if Im too much for you to handle than maybe we shouldnt be together." She yelled and I was shocked I know it was probably her bipolar acting up but it still stung and I did the stupidest thing I started yelling at her, "ENOUGH DEMETRIA ALL I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO IS HELP YOU AND LOVE YOU BUT YOU KEEP PUTTING UP THESE WALLS THAT I CANT SEEM TO BREAK THROUGH SO DONT SAY SHIT LIKE THAT TO ME I COULDVE LEFT YOU A LONG TIME AGO BUT I LOVE YOU TOO DAMN MUCH TO LET YOU GO AND GIVE UP ON YOU BUT I CAN ONLY HELP SOMEONE WHO WANTS MY HELP." I shouted and stalked out of her dressing room with angry tears falling down my face as I made my way towards Eddie to tell him what was going on.
"Im really sorry I didnt say anything sooner Eddie but I thought I could help her on my own but I realized I cant. I love Demi with all my heart but I dont want to lose her and she needs professional help before its too late." I told him and Dianna with tears in my eyes and they hugged me as I finally broke down sobbing in their arms praying they could help her. The concert that night was tense and Demi didnt look at me once as we sang and my heart was aching in pain so massive I had to control myself before I broke down in tears on stage. ( watch?v=Y3kSLnfdBFo) After the performance she just walked out and I looked down heartbroken I really didnt mean to yell at her but I was just so afraid I would lose her to her demons but I continued the concert and that night all hell broke loose and as I walked backstage I saw Demi punch Shorty in the face and stand there shocked and when she looked up at me she literally ran into my arms sobbing uncontrollably and as I held her I cried as much as her trying to calm her down. "Joey whats wrong with me I have never done that before baby Im scared I dont know who I am anymore Joey I jsut dont know." She cried in my arms as I held her tight watching as the doctor came up and injected her with a tranquilizer.
I laid her on the couch in the plane and stroked her hair I would not leave her in this moment and I held her in my arms as my dad, Eddie and Dianna spoke with the doctor. "Joey what happened I feel like my head was hit by a mack truck omg I punched Shorty Joey Im sorry for the things I said I didnt mean any of it I promise I love you too much." She said and I gave her a sad smile before kissing her I know she didnt mean any of it her bipolar was just acting up. The grownups came in, "Demi we beleive you need professional help as I examined you I saw cuts all over your body and I noticed you havent been eating. This place in Chicago is called Timberline Knolls and they have the best experts that can help you and no press will know about it they will treat you like a normal person we just want to help you Demi before its too late and you end up dead eating disorders and self harm are fatal and we already talked to your parents and made arrangements when the plane lands in Peru the private jet will continue to LA to pick up your stuff and than your parents will drive you to Timberline Knolls."
She looked up and held onto my hand tighter before nodding yes, "ok Doctor Ill go I know I need help but can Joey come to drop me off pretty please I want him there with me." The doctor looked at me and I sighed I had no idea if I could I had to finish off the tour and I looked at Eddie, "sweety Joe has to stay in Peru they have a concert tommorow night I dont think Paul will let him come or postpone the concert the fans would be disspointed." She let tears fall and let go of myt hand wrapping her arms around herself, "oh ok I guess I can just go with you and mom I dont want the fans to be dissapointed." I looked up at my dad pleading with him and he looked at me before sighing, "Demi its ok he can go with you but he would have to leave that same night taking the red eye so he can be here on time for rehearsals ok." I smiled and hugged my dad before hugging Demi and kissing her as she held on tight to me. As we lay in bed that night Demi was cuddled in my arms running her fingers up and down my chest, "Joey Im scared do u think I can get better baby I want to get better for u and for me."
She asked vulnerably and I kissed her lips lovingly, "of course youll get better baby and Ill be with you every step of the way cause even though Ill be finishing up the tour Ill be with you in spirit ok And once the doctor gives the ok Ill call u every chance I get ok I love u dem with all my heart and I just want you to get better and stay strong ok babygirl." I told her as I kissed her lips and she smiled nodding her head yes as she held me kissing my neck. We landed and after a break we flew to LA where Dallas and Maddy helped Dem pack her things before we made our way to Timberline Knolls where Demi would be staying for the next three months so she could get better as we were in the car she was curled up in my arms nuzzling my neck as I held her on my lap running my fingers up and down her spine kissing her every chance I got since I wouldnt have her near for a while which hurt more than anything so I held her tighter and kissed her passionately as we drove up to the center. We got out and I held her hand as Eddie took her things and we walked inside, "hello Demetria its good to finall meet you my name is Penelope and Ill be your nurse and this is Doctor Johnson and his team who will help you while youre here." The nurse said and Demi gave a fake smile as she held on tighter to me and I kissed her temple soothing her.
"Welcome Demetria I am Dr. Johnson and this is Dr. Pierce who will help me with your case while you are here in Timberline Knolls you will have to leave your cell phone and any dangerous object with Rachel like razors and such until you leave here ok." He said and Demi tensed she didnt want to be here or leave her phone so I looked at her, "baby please listen to the doctor andleave those things I want you to focus on your recovery I dont want to lose you babe it would break me if I do. Besides, youll have a phone in your room and can talk to me on it whenever you want ok but please do this for me love please." I whispered and she looked at me before kissing me and handing over the objects to the nurse. We walked Dem to her room and thats when the doctor said no contact for two weeks becasue it will be the crucial part of the program detoxifying and intense rehabilitation Dem didnt like that but she knew it was imperative that it happened like that. I helped her unpack and she said goodbye to her parents and than it came to me and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. "Joey Im going to miss you so much I cant live without you I love you too much please dont make me stay Joey Ill change Ill start eating and stop self harming myself please Joey." She begged crying and I broke down and held her I didnt want to say goodbye but I had to she needed to get better so we could live our lives together and healthy.
I sat on her bed and sat her on my lap kissing her hungrily on the lips as we devoured each others mouths in desperation and love, "baby look at me you have to stay here ok its the only way youll get better and we can plan out lives with each other ok I love you Demetria Devonne Lovato and I want to spend my life with you ok but you need to get better youre sick and I need you to get well ok. Here wear my purity ring to give you strength ok baby it belongs to you anyways and whenever you look at it draw strength from it knowing that I am with you in your heart ok baby and as soon as tour is over and the doctor says its ok Ill take time from my solo album and come visit I promise ok. Also, when you finally get better and come back home I am replacing that promise ring I gave you with an engagement ring ok cause I want to marry you someday and love you forever deal." I said with tears in my eyes and she smiled her first real genuine smile and kissed me hungrily and lovingly leaving me breathless, "ok Joey I promise Ill get better and when I get out we can move in together and start our life I love you Joe with all I am." She told me and I kissed her, "I love you to baby see you soon and get better for me but most importantly for yourself." I told her kissing her one more time and saying goodbye before I walked out and into the car as tears fell down my face knowing I was leaving my heart back there with Demi.
Its been weeks since Dem entered rehab and the tour was coming to an end but I missed her like crazy and wanted to see her but I knew the doctor hadnt given the ok yet just for the family only. The tour finally ended and I was releived I was starting on my solo project and keeping tabs on Demi by Dianna who has been telling me about Dem's progress which I was appreciative about. I was at my aprtment fixing everything around and really wishing in this dream I had Winston casue it was lonely being by myself in my apartment surrounded by Dem's things so I just kept writing music letting my mind wander as I wondered when I would go back to 2013 not that I really wanted to go back I didnt have Demi there I had Blanda someone who didnt even compare to Demi Lovato so as long as I could stay in 2010 I would take it. After my daily run and my shower my phone rang and when I looked I didnt recognize the number but answered it anyway and the voice on the other line was like heaven for me, "hello who is this." I asked and my breath caught in my throat when I heard her angelic voice, "hi Joey its me Demi the doctor said I could call whoever I wanted and I had to hear your voice Joe I miss you so much baby but Im getting better I was able to eat a whole meal today and I havent gotten the urge to cut for nthe past week but I miss you. I heard from mom youre starting to write and promote your solo album I cant wait to hear it I know it will be amazing I also wanted to say I love you and thank you for getting me the help I needed it means the world to me." She said and I held back my tears, "I miss you and love you too babygirl I cant wait to see you and I am so proud of you for eating a whole meal without throwing it up that is a huge accomplishment baby. I am excited about the album half of the songs are about you but I know you will love them."
I told her and she giggled and I smiled my angel was getting better and I couldnt wait to se her again she means the world to me we talked for hours and when we hung up we said our I love yous and I smiled knowing everything will be ok and as I was in my apartment that day I had a feeling something was happening I just didnt know what but as I was settling for the night the room changed and I felt lost and not in a good way I had no idea if it was a nightmare or what but seeing my dead grandmother at the end of a hall I felt a chill roll up my spine and not in a good way, "grandma whats going on youre dead and I was just at home about to sleep what is going on." I asked literally freaked out and she gave me a small smile before giving me a hug, "Joseph honey you werent really in your home it was all a dream in your head you see youre in a coma son you got into a car accident and slipped into a coma you havent been awake for two months all you were living was a dream world you created in your mind." She told me and I couldnt understand it but after a few minutes it all came back to me I was in Vegas celebrating Nick's 21st b-day when I realized I still loved Demi and wanted her back and that what I felt for Blanda wasnt love but infatuation we got into an arguement cause I wouldnt have sex with her and she blurted out that she was cheating and using me for fame and I snapped screaming at her throwing things and cursing her and Camilla for ever coming back into my life I got into the car and drove to get away from my demons when a drunk driver collided with my car sending me crashing into a tree and I sat down on the ground in shock.
"OMG I remember everything am I dead nana." I asked tearfully and she hugged me tight as I held her tight in my arms as my life falshed before my eyes and one person was at the end covered in lights my angel Demi. "Not yet Joe but youre close to death its up to you what happens now I dont beleive its your time yet son you have so much left to live for and a beautiful girl who has been by your bedside since she found out crying and pleading for you to come back to her." She told me and I saw an image of Demi at my bedside holding me as she cried begging me to come back for her and my heart ached. I didnt know what to do and as my nana said goodbye I was left in the empty hallway with two different paths to take one would lead me back to Demi and one to my death and I had no idea which one was which but just when I was about to give up I heard her voice singing calling me to her and all I could do was follow her angelic voice leading me to her warm embrace. ( watch?v=I75X1JDMHM0)
Present October 10 2013
As I sang the song that was about Joe the tears fell from my face as I sang to the man I love with all the emotion I had begging and pleading for him to come back to me and I was so lost in the song I didnt notice what was happening around me and as I finished the song my tears fell uncontrollably and than I felt it a hand tightening around my own and I gasped as I looked up at a pair of beautiful hazel orbs. "Demi." He groaned out and I dropped my guitar on the floor and looked at him as I launched into his arms and held him sobbing as he weakly wrapped his arms around me and I broke down in his arms, "dont cry pretty girl it breaks my heart." He said in a raspy voice, "oh Joey I thought I lost you I was so scared yu would never wake up and you did I love you Joe I love you." I cried as he held me and I jumped up running to the door opening and screaming for the doctrors that he was awake. "Well Mr. Jonas welcome back to the land of the living we were worried you would stay in a coma for a long time but everything is ok youre just going to feel sore for a while that car accident was quite a bad one Ill go inform your family that youre awake the nurse will come in later to check your vitals I leave you in good hands Ms. Lovato hasnt left your side once since youve been here she sure loves you." I heard the doctor say and I blushed crimson red as Joe smirked happy to know I was here. The doctor left and I stood there when Joe looked at me he was sitting up now, "come here beautiful I dont bite unless you want me too." He siad and I rolled my eyes even just coming out of a coma he still cocky as hell but I didnt care I just ran into his arms and he held me as I buried my face in his neck inhaling his scent as he ran his fingers up and down my back. "I love you too Demi dont you ever forget that I love you and only you." He told me and I sighed before crashing my lips on his and kissing him like no tommorrow.
His family came and they all were crying and happy he was ok as they stayed in his room until they were kicked out he explained what happened with Blanda to all of us and I hated her even more she was such a bitch. I was left with him and I curled up next to him as he held me tight, "I cannot beleive that bitch did that jsut cause you wouldnt have sex with her what a slut I hate her." I said and he chuckled before kissing me on the lips and holding me tight, "yea well it was bound to happen I didnt love her my heart is still yours and always will be I cant beleive the scen she made in the hospital and what she called you that is a bitch move." He growled and I giggled as I kissed him and held him he was awake and he loved me as much as I loved him that was all that mattered. "What happens with us now Joey I love you but are we ready to finally be together for good this time." I asked vulnerably and he lifted my chin kissing me with all the love he had, "yea baby its our time now I want to marry you one day I love you Dem with all I am." He told me and I smiled kissing him hungrily on the lips, "I love you too Joey now and forever." We kissed and ended up falling asleep in each others arms happy and in love.