Disclaimer: All rights to Inuyasha and any other related material belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not me.
Summary: Inuyasha cheats and winds up becoming a father-to-be. He's faced with giving up his entire life, including his long-time girlfriend Kikyo, to become the father that he never had. He's too afraid to tell the truth, but will the mother of his child keep things interesting? Inuyasha/Kagome, rated M for mature content.
A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed chapter three and reviewed! Let me know if you like the story, what you'd like to see happen, what needs improvement, and if I should continue! Also, you may have noticed that I've been using "they" instead of "she" or "he" to refer to the child. That is simply because Kagome doesn't yet know the sex of the child! And for some reason I feel weird calling a child "it" o.O Anyways, enjoy!
Chapter Four: Taking the High Road
'Something isn't right.' Kagome sprang up in bed, her entire body tingling in an unpleasant way. The clock read 3:13 A.M. The covers were in a pile at the bottom of the bed, where she'd kicked them. Sweat coated her overheated skin, causing black tendrils of hair to stick to her face and neck.
Inside her stomach was rolling with nausea and pain. Hands trembling, she pushed herself from the mattress and padded into the bathroom. The cool tile on her feet set off an eruption of shivers, cold chills and aches crawling up her spine and arms. 'What's happening to me?' she thought as she sank to her knees before the toilet, fearing any moment she would vomit.
Dizziness began to make the bathroom swim, the tub and sink and bottles of shampoo whirling around in a vortex that left her feeling weak. She closed her eyes, willing away the swinging feeling, and rested her head on her arms. Inuyasha… her mind whispered. Inuyasha, Inuyasha, INUYASHA, INUYASHA! His name exploded so loud in her mind that she promptly vomited bile into the toilet. Why am I thinking of him at a time like this?
Her whole form trembled as she fought another wave of nausea. This wasn't like the morning sickness she had experienced so far. This was something else. Her lower half cramped painfully, her vision swam in and out. Suddenly she realized she should probably call someone, but her strength had left her. She couldn't even lift her head anymore to puke properly. Her body heaved and the burning liquid leaked from the corners of her mouth, her head resting on the toilet bowl lid lifelessly.
As her vision faded, her world condensing into one small black world with but a pinpoint of light to see through, she imagined him there, holding her, pulling back the damp hair and calmly wiping the mess from her mouth.
"As if I'd even want to lose control with you again. That was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made, and believe me; I've made a lot, wench."
Tears welled behind her closed eyelids and slipped down her cheeks, collecting at her chin before falling wet and cold into her lap. That's right, she thought. He doesn't want anything to do with you. It hurt to know that Inuyasha considered their night together a mistake. Had she been that bad? Hadn't it felt good? Was it her inexperience? The desperate way she'd moaned for him? The lousy attempts at flirting, at concealing her desire? For a moment all went black. Now's not the time to think of that, Kagome, she chided herself.
She managed to bring a weak hand to her tummy, but the world was getting darker by the moment. All around her felt cold. Painfully cold. It kissed her fingers and toes, raised the hair on her flesh, made her ears burn. Nowhere was left unaffected…save but one place that was rapidly blossoming warmth. 'Sticky...' she thought, before passing out.
XXX
In a dream, Kagome floated. She knew it was a dream. Time passed forwards and back, jumping indiscriminately between present and future. Scattered moments, all unfamiliar and nonlinear. There was pain, a nagging pain in her abdomen as she floated through houses and shrines and days and years. Like peeking inside windows, she watched scenes unfold and refold and change before her very eyes.
A birthday party for a white-haired child, surrounded by friends. Kagome smiled as she watched them play – no one seeming to care that the child was obviously touched with demonic energy. Little claws, little fangs. But they gently played with the human children, taking care not to hurt them, to outrun them, to lord their abilities over them. The time came for cake cutting and present giving. On a high platform the demon child sat, glowing with anticipation. But as the children brought their gifts, all wrapped in multicolored paper and ribbons and bows, Kagome had a sinking feeling. A dark anxiety she couldn't shake.
The children pulled off the lids of their presents and reached inside. The demonic child still looked on excitedly, glancing at their uncle and grandmother with a fang-toothed grin and round yellow eyes.
The first blow caught the child right on the cheek and the outer corner of the eye. So hard was the throw that it knocked the child down from their platform. They tumbled to the floor, their head knocking the corner of the table, hard. Dazed, the child didn't move for a few moments. When they pushed themself from the floor another blow struck, the red juice of a rotten, moldy tomato staining their snowy white hair. Quickly it happened, and soon the child was doused in rotten fruit, their eyelashes dripping with it, their lips smeared with it, their ears stained by it. They began to cry, misunderstanding clear in their eyes.
The child's family tried to shield them from the barrage, as rocks, too, had begun to be thrown. "Half-breed!" they shouted and "Abomination!" and "Evil!" and "Whore, whore, WHORE!" at Kagome, who they'd finally noticed floating nearby.
"No," she whispered, as they advanced on her, the pain inside her doubling. "NO!"
On her dress a dark red stain blossomed, opening like a flower under moonlight. It spread from her thighs downward, causing the dress to stick to her legs. The sticky red liquid dipped down and filled her shoes. It was warm on her cold flesh, not at all like crushed tomatoes.
XXX
"Kagome? Kagome keep your eyes open, okay? Stay with me. You've lost some blood."
"Mama?" Kagome tried to say, though she only managed a whisper.
"You're in an ambulance, honey. We're taking you to the hospital. Hold my hand. Here." She felt her mother's warm hand slip into hers and squeeze.
"Don't let them hurt my baby, Mama," she whimpered, the words bubbling up painfully into her throat. They felt thick.
"No, honey. They want to help you, not hurt you or the baby."
"No…mama. Not them…not them…"
When next she opened her eyes, there were bright lights above and the smell of bleach in the air. The clinical smell burned her nose and made her stomach start churning again. "Where is he?" she said out loud to no one. Her vision was still blurry, but she could make out shapes.
"Who?"
"Inuyasha," she whispered back.
There was a pause. Some shuffling. Some whispering. Then darkness.
XXX
"Miss Higurashi? Can you hear me?"
Kagome opened her eyes; blinking away burning lights and dreams. "Yes," she said softly. "I can hear you."
"I need to check your vitals again. Is that okay?"
Kagome felt herself nod. Sleep was threatening to take her again. "Stay with me, Miss Higurashi. I need to run some tests before the doctor arrives."
Kagome forced herself to sit up and look around the room. Her brother and grandfather were sleeping on the couch. Her mother was at the bedside, helping her get herself upright. A young nurse was watching a monitor, making notes, and changing her IV.
"Where's…" she trailed off. I must really be out of it. Why would he be here?
"Where's the doctor?" she finished.
"He should be here soon," the nurse said. She approached Kagome gently, shining a light in each eye. "He told me to apologize for the delay. He was the only doctor we could find who would come out this late to see you in your…condition. Even the hospital requested you be moved to a private clinic after they got you stabilized."
"What time is it?" Kagome's eyes trailed over the room. There was a bag of blood that slowly dripped into a tube. She traced its passage to her arm, an itching worry beginning to form inside her.
"Just after six, now," she nurse answered, writing more on her chart. She got to a stopping point and decisively clicked her pen.
"Alright, Miss Higurashi. Now that I've got you all checked up, I'm sure you have many questions you'd like answered. First of all, my name's Kikyo, and I'll be your nurse while you are here at the clinic. I'm just a volunteer, but if you need anything, please let me know. You've been through a lot."
Kagome relaxed a little. The nurse's demeanor was calm, confident, reassuring. She felt well taken care of.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Well…tell us what you remember," Kikyo said, tucking the covers more tightly on Kagome's left side.
"I woke up feeling sick. Really sick. Like flu and morning sickness and period cramps all at once. I was sweating and vomiting…it felt like the room was swinging violently. Then, I got cold. I was trembling. As I was passing out I remember something…warm and sticky…down there." Her cheeks pinked some to speak of this, but she supposed she might as well get used to it. As she spoke the words aloud she realized that the warm stickiness between her legs…was blood. "Is the baby safe?" she gasped, blindly clutching her nurse's hand, as if grasping it would make it true.
"Yes," Kikyo said. "The baby is safe. It was you that we were more worried about, to be honest. It seems your body is having a hard time with this pregnancy. As far as we can tell, it wasn't a miscarriage or even the beginning of one. I'll let the doctor diagnose you officially, but to me it looked as if most of the sickness was caused by the presence of such strain on your body. I know you are tired," she said, noting the way Kagome's body sagged with relief and fatigue. "But could you tell me more about the pregnancy so far?"
Kagome glanced between her mother and the nurse, wondering how much Mrs. Higurashi had explained. Her mother gave her an encouraging nod.
"Well…as you may already know, the father is a half-demon. I suppose that means the child will be born with some demonic characteristics." Kikyo calmly scratched away on her clipboard. "I'm still pretty early. I'm just now five weeks. But I've already had plenty of morning sickness, appetite changes, and tenderness in certain areas. I'm also tired all the time, and moody. This is my first pregnancy, but…that seems a little early, doesn't it?"
"Very," Kikyo agreed, giving her a sympathetic smile.
"Does this mean that the child will be born earlier than normal?" Kagome asked. It felt nice to finally speak to a doctor about this.
"I'll be honest. There aren't any hard and fast rules when it comes to half-demon and human pregnancies, especially when the human component is female. Cases can vary from subtly different to wildly different, depending on the type of demon, among other factors. It is true that a trend, in what research has been done, has shown that partially demon children are born quicker than human children. However…there are a few cases where the gestation period was actually longer than nine months. Significantly longer."
Kagome swallowed. So far, being pregnant seemed to disagree with her body. Could she survive any more than nine months?
"I don't mean to scare you," Kikyo said, squeezing her hand. "Those cases were very rare. I want to be frank though. These kinds of pregnancies are rarely easy. They are painful, riddled with complications both during pregnancy and during birth. They have a higher fatality rate for both infant and mother compared to human-human pregnancies and demon-demon pregnancies. And beyond that, it can be difficult to find proper care due to the stigmas that surround not only half-demons, but the coupling of human and demon individuals. This is one of the only clinics in the area that will see patients like you."
Kagome couldn't tell why, but she felt as though Kikyo was sympathetic to demons and half-demons somehow. Not just because she was volunteering at a clinic that helped provide care for them and their children, but because of a look in her eyes, wistful almost. She was imagining herself in Kagome's place. Perhaps she already had half-demon or partial-demon children? Or perhaps she wanted them?
She shook her head and focused on the information the nurse was giving her. "Is there anything I can do to make the pregnancy easier? Or to make sure nothing happens to the baby?" She was stroking her tummy again, the motion filling her with a sense of comfort.
"From all the pregnancies I've seen between humans and demons or half-demons, the mother always faired better if the father stayed with her. No long trips away, no overtime at the office, no nothing. They don't need to be around all the time, but a healthy amount of physical contact always seemed to suppress any bad symptoms. It's especially good for soothing children when the kicking begins – you can imagine how hard a part-demon child will be able to kick."
Kikyo glanced around the room, seeming hesitant to ask the next question. It was evident that Kagome's family was around – but if there was a man in her life, he wasn't present.
"I don't mean to be insensitive in any way, Kagome, but I was hoping I could ask…do you have contact with the father?" Kikyo asked.
Kagome shook her head silently. "No…we…we only met once." Though technically they'd met twice, only one meeting really counted, as far as Kagome was concerned.
"I see," Kikyo murmured. "Let me do some research…there may be another way to make the pregnancy go smoother without the father. It can't be totally unheard of. Go back to sleep, for now. I'll wake you when the doctor arrives."
"Thank you, Kikyo," she said. "I'm so grateful."
XXX
"You're sure you don't want me to stay over? I'm worried…"
"It's fine. Really. I haven't had any pain in over an hour."
"Well why don't you come back to the shrine with me, then? Your grandfather and I can take care of you and monitor you, in case we need to get you to the hospital. You really shouldn't be spending so much time alone."
"Mom, I'm only a few weeks pregnant, and the doctor gave me some medicine and vitamins to help with the strain on my body. I also have regular checkups scheduled. I'll be okay."
"I know, honey…it's just that if something else did happen, it would take too long for your grandfather and I to arrive. It's a good thirty minute drive from here to the shrine." Mrs. Higurashi wrung her hands nervously in her lap.
"I just don't feel like I could concentrate at the shrine. Besides, the commute to school is just too long." Kagome flipped a page in her textbook distractedly, not really reading the words written.
Mrs. Higurashi said no more on the matter. Over the last two weeks, since the morning that Kagome had calmly told her family about the pregnancy, they had argued (if discussions between Kagome and her mother could be called arguments) over the "school issue". Kagome, having only half a year left, wanted to finish the school year, which meant attending classes, taking exams, studying, and continuing to live alone in her student apartment.
She thought back to that morning, after breakfast, as the family relaxed in the living room.
Kagome picked up the remote, turning the TV off, earning the attention of her brother, mother, and grandfather.
"Sorry," she said, kneeling on the tatami in front of them, almost as if in supplication. "There's something I need to talk to you all about."
From Souta's position on the couch, she got a nod of encouragement, and before she had the chance to change her mind she began.
"I came here this weekend to give you all some news." She avoided saying 'good news' or 'bad news'. She supposed it was up to them to decide. "I'm pregnant."
The pause that followed was surely more pregnant than she, but she didn't waver. She watched their faces calmly, patiently. Her mother and grandfather glanced at one another in blank surprise. Should the matriarch of the household speak, or the patriarch?
It was actually Kagome who spoke next. "The child will be special," she said, running a hand over her belly. "It will be part demon. The father is…a half-demon."
At this, she lowered her eyes. Not from shame or embarrassment or guilt that her child would be part demon or even that she had gotten pregnant so young, from a stranger no less. But because she knew she would need to rely heavily on her family, and for that she was sorry.
"Kagome…" her mother began. "I…I'm not sure what to say. I wasn't aware that you were…"
"I wasn't," Kagome said quickly. "It was…my first." Her cheeks did pink at this revelation. "And last, for the time being anyways."
Her grandfather stood. In his priest garb he looked powerful, ominous almost. His eyes were closed as he seemed to contemplate what next to say, but in any case it didn't look pleasant. Kagome awaited his judgment quietly. "Now that…is some fertility."
Three pairs of eyes snapped to the old man. While Kagome stared in mortified shock, Souta burst into laughter 'til he was writhing on the floor at his big sister's side.
Kagome and her mother stared at each other until slowly, smiles crept on their faces, too. It seemed the tension had passed. Gramps went on praising the fertility of the Higurashi's, "a powerful lineage indeed", while mother and daughter joined hands, silent understanding passing between them.
But her mother was wary. If Mrs. Higurashi had her way, Kagome would be living back at the shrine and taking it easy, letting her family take care of her in this challenging time.
Kagome seemed tireless, though. She had flung herself into her studies with renewed vigor, and when she wasn't studying, she was researching half demon children and pregnancies. She tried to glean as much information as she could from outdated and unsupported articles and applied the bits and pieces of advice that rang true to her.
When it came to her daughter's life, and the life of her grandchild, Mrs. Higurashi wasn't exactly comfortable with vague advice that Kagome mainly took on instinct.
They needed an expert. But the doctor they had seen the night before could offer no more than what was known as common knowledge. He had promised to review the research, with the help of nurses and volunteers, like Kikyo. But their real hope was the father – the demon part of the equation. But Kagome was being strangely obstinate about that particular point. She insisted she didn't remember his face or name, and said that even if she did, she wouldn't seek him out.
Being a single mother herself, Mrs. Higurashi knew how lonely it could be, raising a child or two without a partner or guide. She was determined to be that guide, if the father wouldn't.
"Well…just know that our home is always welcome. To you both."
The clock ticked peacefully on the wall as Kagome read her textbooks and Mrs. Higurashi sipped a tea.
Eventually, Kagome said, "Mama…who found me yesterday?"
"I did. Do you remember us talking in the ambulance?"
"I do…but that must've been around 4:00 AM right? What were you doing at my apartment?"
"You called me sweetie. Don't you remember? You called my cell. You didn't say anything, but I could hear you moaning on the other end. You sounded like you were in pain…or having a nightmare. I called your name a bunch but you didn't answer me. I started to get really worried, so I rushed over. I found you on the bathroom floor."
Kagome blinked. She didn't remember calling anyone, or even having the strength enough to hold a phone. Perhaps her instincts had kicked in and she'd made a final, desperate attempt at saving herself and her child?
"Speaking of the bathroom, Kagome," her mother said with a small grimace, "you may want to use the hall bathroom for now. Don't worry about cleaning it up, I can handle it. I'm just not sure it's something you should see."
XXX
"You've gotta see this," Miroku said appreciatively, dreamily flipping through the pages of an X-rated magazine.
"No, I really don't," Inuyasha snapped, staring out the window. His foot was tapping an anxious rhythm on the ground, claws close to shredding the armchair.
"Inuyasha. What is your problem today? Is it because Kikyo volunteered for the graveyard shift at the clinic again instead of coming over?"
"No," he growled, biting out the word forcefully. He hadn't even thought of that. In fact, he'd scarcely noticed the lack of her presence the night before. He had been much too busy and frantic to think of such a trivial thing.
'Gods, just let them be okay,' he whined. He caught Miroku sending him a bewildered look, and he realized that the whine was audible. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and glared right back.
His nerves were on edge after last night. He'd swung by Kagome's apartment – a place he knew of only because he'd followed her home from Higurashi shrine two weeks ago – just to check on her…for the fourth time that day. As much as he tried to stay away, as risky he told himself that it was, as much as he wanted to forget Kagome and his night of shame, he was utterly bound to obey what his instincts told him.
'Protect the child. Protect the child. Protect your ma – NO. She is not my…she's just a girl who…URGH. Kikyo is the one I love.
But still. Many times a day he found himself following Kagome, listening and smelling and observing her, making damn sure that she and the pup were safe. In the morning he'd swing by her apartment, standing outside the door listening or – if she left a window open – crawling in and watching her sleep. Yes, he had fallen that low. He'd taken to entering unsuspecting girls' rooms and creepily standing over their beds. Gods, I am so fucked up.
He hadn't made any effort to be in her life officially. In fact, he was steadily holding to his decisions to stay with Kikyo and pretend the situation away until time erased it. But that didn't mean he couldn't check on her. She was carrying his pup after all. From what he knew of half-demon and human pregnancies, she was in for a tough time. It didn't hurt to make sure she was okay and protect her in what was he would allow himself.
On his lunch break he'd sprint over to the university campus and find her sitting under a tree, eating lunch, with a book open in her lap. Sometimes there were people with her – a tall and muscular girl with a long ponytail, a red-haired female wolf demon, and a male wolf-demon who placed himself, almost imperceptibly, close to Kagome, his body radiating protectiveness and…possessiveness? Inuyasha tried to swallow the rage of his demon side as it bubbled up hot and sour in his throat.
Other days it was a trio of human girls, who Kagome seemed to ignore for the most part, answering their mindless chatter with "Mhmm" and "Oh".
He liked the days where she was alone. Less sounds and smells to dilute her. That way he could really check and make sure nothing was amiss. He could sense her pain and discomfort. The delicate way she walked, the way she pushed at her food, the micro naps she unwillingly fell into gave it all away – she was tired. Tired and sick. But safe. As far as he could tell, the pup was safe too.
Sitting there, alone, he was tempted to go and talk to her. Her scent was subtly changing. The sweet, savory smell of her was spiced with his flavor and it called to him, wrapping around him and making every hair stand on end, filling his head with images of her on all fours before him, looking back at him with lowered eyelids, lips parted as she panted for him. If he was feeling particularly unrestrained he'd follow his line of thoughts, imagining him taking her in the fashion of his people, growling into her neck until they came together.
More and more he grew protective, jealous, his instincts pushing him to make sure the child was okay, his demon side not letting him leave until he was one hundred percent certain they were both safe. Then, it purred with satisfaction, content that she was safe and the baby was healthy and getting ever closer to being born.
Last night, he'd woken, every fiber of him screaming wrong, wrong, WRONG! He'd sped over to Kagome's house, foregoing the car and sprinting over rooftops, using his demon strength and speed to reach her apartment in a record ten minutes. He thanked the gods above that her window was cracked. Though it was chilly out, he knew she sweated at night a lot from his previous visits. He'd slid the window open and crept inside, careful to be quiet. His effort wasn't needed. She was passed out cold, her body crumpled before the toilet. Tears streaked her face, vomit dripped from her lips and collected in the toilet bowl. Beneath her a ring of blood was slowly spreading, growing larger and larger until it stained the rug.
'No…NO. Gods, no…!'
Frantically, the half-demon ran back into the bedroom and swiped the cellphone from the nightstand, unlocking it with a swipe and finding "Mom" in her contacts. He pressed the call button and waited, heart pounding, every instinct fighting him to grab her and fly her on feet made of quicksilver to the nearest hospital. But how would he explain that?
Mrs. Higurashi sleepily answered the phone. He held it close to Kagome who was murmuring now, the pain evident on her face. He wasn't satisfied until he heard Mrs. Higurashi say, "Kagome? Kagome, can you hear me? Is everything alright? Kagome?! I'm coming over. I'll be right there!" There was shuffling and the call disconnected.
While he waited for Mrs. Higurashi to arrive, he knelt before Kagome in supplication, holding her cold hand. 'I'm sorry,' he whined. 'I'm so sorry.'
He couldn't…no. Wouldn't help her. He could sense how grave her condition was. His instincts raged against his mind, tearing him to shreds emotionally, every part of him straining against his cowardice. But still, he waited. Ten minutes went by. Then twenty. Eventually Kagome quieted, her moans getting softer and softer until they all but disappeared. "Please," he said, squeezing her hand hard enough to bruise. "Don't die. Please be okay." He didn't know if he was talking to the child or to her, but he figured it was a combination of both.
"I barely know you…and we didn't meet under the best circumstance. But please…be strong. Get through this…and I promise. I promise I'll be there. I won't let this happen again."
Once he'd heard the frantic heels of Mrs. Higurashi clicking in the hallway he reluctantly pulled himself from Kagome and slipped out the window. He hung nearby – just over on the roof of the next building, so he could hear everything that happened. He even followed their ambulance, just to make sure she made it to the hospital.
Only then did he allow himself to go home, where he didn't sleep, just stood staring, terrified into the dark. What have I done? he wondered. What am I doing? I can't let her do this alone…but Kikyo…She'll never understand.
His conscience popped up, as always disguised with Miroku's calm voice. You can't have them both Inuyasha. You have to decide what to do. Stay with Kikyo and forget about Kagome, for better or worse. Or tell Kikyo the truth and take responsibility for the life you've created.
For some reason he didn't complain this time. He didn't rage against his own conscience's advice.
All night he'd laid and had all manner of ugly thoughts until finally he'd given up on sleep at all and had curled himself into the arm chair where he could glare out the window balefully. It was only a few hours before than Miroku had joined him, though the half-demon hardly noticed him (but for the odd, annoying comment).
'You're a fool, Inuyasha. A selfish bastard. A worthless half-demon. Do the right thing, you baka,' his instincts growled.For once he didn't argue.
X
X
X
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! I know it was a bit long and there wasn't anymore (conscious) Inuyasha/Kagome interaction, but bear with me! Golden Week is also coming up here in Japan, so I will be off frolicking around! The next update may be a bit slower. Please review if you have the time!