IV
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
- "I Dreamed a Dream" from the musical Les Miserables
You realize that you will never go back to what life was before. Though he smiles for your sake, John's light has left his eyes. You cannot help but look in every few minutes to see if he's still there.
He never talks about those three missing years. Sometimes he'll sit for hours, remembering, looking small and alone. Then you'll stroke his jaw or touch his greying hair, and he'll look up at you.
When he thinks you aren't paying attention, he'll allow his mask to fall. Then you know you cannot help, even though you want to. He's too harmed.