(Derek, Meredith, Addison)
How many people have you had sex with before me?
He takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his dark waves. They are longer now, longer than two month ago, and it's funny that the person who always wanted him to grow his hair a little longer will never get to touch it again. Not ever. It's a satisfying thought, almost as satisfying as picturing her all alone in their stupid too big house with empty bedrooms for the kids they'll never have now, while he's having the time of his life with a flexible young intern. Maybe it's a cliché, but she started with the clichés and he has no surfaced regrets whatsoever.
"Derek?" Meredith has propped her head up on her hands and eyes him curiously. She has a right to be curious, he hasn't really told her much about himself yet, but he's still not at a point where he wants to talk about anything with anyone. Ignoring his wife's calls and fucking his intern's brains out is pretty much everything he can handle that doesn't involve a scalpel.
He turns his head towards her lying beside him and smiles. She's so young. She makes him feel young too. She makes him feel new. And most of all she makes him forget about the treacherous smell in his house, the stupid leather jacket that made him tumble, the not-so-subtle gasps he hadn't heard like this for so long before he opened his bedroom door, his best friend's fingers dug deep into his wife's long hair, her legs wriggled around his waist, her eyes before she noticed him and when she noticed him and all the other things that followed. All these pictures don't haunt him as much when he's surrounded by people who don't know shit about his life in New York, people that aren't Richard so to speak. Meredith. And that's why he keeps massaging the truth.
"Four," he says finally and waits for her reaction.
She lets out a light laughter. "Four?"
"Four," he nods with the smirk he knows she likes, because she's never seen Mark's smirk in comparison. "I was a late bloomer. And my last relationship was rather long." That's an understatement, but he doesn't care. Meredith is not as good at keeping strong eye contact as Addison and he's grateful for that. Another reason why she keeps making his life easier.
"What happened?"
He snorts and lets his eyes wander through the trailer, thinking.
I'm just not ready yet. I'm sorry, honey. Let's just wait until I finish the fellowship, okay?
Can you come home early tonight?
I want you to care!
When did we stop fighting?
We can get through this, we're AddisonandDerek.
He closes his eyes for a brief moment, concentrating on pushing her voice out of his head. The truth is, he doesn't really know what happened. Despite the fact that the two most important people in his life turned out to be an adulterous bitch and a backstabbing sociopath he doesn't really know anything any more. So the easiest answer would be that she cheated, but something prevents his lips from forming the words to say it. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's shame or maybe it's just another thing he doesn't know.
"I guess it was just over," he decides quietly and is glad that she doesn't ask any further, just snuggles her dainty body closer to him.
It's not until later that week, when he sits in front of the divorce papers he can't sign and just clicks and swings the ballpoint again and again without ever coming close enough to the paper to actually find his signature there, that he realizes it. Of all things he did and didn't tell her, saying it was over was probably the worst.