Intersecting Lines Book 3
04 Home on the range
Maura's viewpoint
The early morning was quiet, the house silent, if anyone was up they were being very discreet about it. I stretched a little, working a little muscle soreness out, Jane and I had headed to bed a little earlier than expected, but hadn't fallen asleep until almost an hour later, we'd had much better things to do, the pleasant memory of which brought a smile to my face.
As my arms stretched out above the covers I realised just how chilly it was, the air was quite cold, kept at bay by the cosy warmth of the goose-down cover we were snuggled under. Pulling them back under, I snuggled a little further under the covers till just my eyes were peeking out above the warmth as I took in our room in the dawn's ethereal light.
The house was a traditional wooden one, almost a century old, not ostentatious but constructed with an eye for practicality and built to last, the joinery was excellent, no drafts to drive the temperature even lower than it already was, the small cast-iron pot-belly heater in the corner giving an indication of the severity of Wyoming's winters, fortunately we were nowhere near the worst of that.
As I cast my eyes around the room, warm in shades of a pale burnt orange, I saw the little touches that showed this was a well-lived in home, little mementos and school trophies on one shelf, a series of photo's showing Natalie and her sister Lauren at sport, graduating, dressed for a junior prom, in cheerleader uniforms, all signs that this house was home to a loving family.
Noting the room was lightening, I turned onto my side and snuggled up to Jane's back, carefully sliding my arm over her waist and pulling her back into me till we were in contact from neck to knee, enjoying the warmth radiating from her. Resting my head on the pillow I looked past the piled mane of dark hair in front of me to watch the rising sun's rays illuminate the rolling hills of the Dearing family farm.
The slowly spinning blades of a series of wind turbines in the far distance caught my eye, each blade lightening and darkening in turn as it slowly spun, catching the dawn's sunlight, a gently hypnotic light show that I idly stared at for several minutes as my mind wandered.
This weekend had been unplanned, we'd intended to make the most of our weekend off the call out roster with Alex and Liv joining us, but earlier in the week Alex had rung to tell us that Liv was deep in a complex case involving a paedophile prostitution ring and they wouldn't be able to join us. We'd been disappointed but also understood all too well these things happened, it was after all one of the perils of being involved with a police officer, let alone one in the NYPD's most successful Special Victim's Unit.
As an alternative, Natalie and Anastasia had invited us to come and visit their family with them; they hadn't been there since Christmas and tried to get back for a weekend several times a year. Following a quick phone call, it had been agreed, Natalie telling us that their parents had been eager to actually meet the people they'd heard so much about, apparently they'd heard no end of good things about us and were looking forward to meeting us both in person. We'd made the flight bookings and were all set to leave when Natalie's parents rang to let her know that her sister Lauren had been speaking to her mom and had immediately made plans to fly home as well.
We'd been met at Denver airport by Peter and Christie, both in their late fifties; tanned and tall and blonde with blue eyes, you could immediately tell where Natalie's looks had come from. Christie was lovely; she'd obviously been striking when she had been younger and was still attractive now while Peter was a handsome man even as he'd aged. He'd smiled happily, exchanging handshakes and kisses on the cheeks with Jane and I before pulling first Anastasia and then Natalie into crushing hugs, hugs which were happily and eagerly returned. Christie meanwhile had pulled first Jane, then I into her arms, wrapping us in a feeling of warm comfort, before stepping back and smiling widely, telling us both how happy she was to finally meet us.
Not long afterwards Natalie and I were on our way in Christie's SUV to their home north of the Colorado – Wyoming border, Peter having stayed behind to collect Lauren when her flight landed in a few hours. We'd objected to leaving him alone but he'd simply smiled and told us he had some shopping to do here in Denver at some of the shops they didn't have in Cheyenne and he'd be fine. In the end though Jane and Ana had insisted they accompany him, especially when they found out he was looking at getting a new barrel for his hunting rifle from a local gunsmith then sighting it in at a local range.
The drive across the state border was over an hour however the time just flew, chatting to Christie was like talking to Natalie, she was happy and enthusiastic and lovely, wanting to know all about what we'd been up to, what our lives were like, how Los Angeles compared to Boston. I allowed Natalie to set the pace, not exactly sure that Christie knew all of the bad things we were exposed to, it quickly became obvious however that there were no secrets between them. Guessing what I was thinking, at one point she'd thrown a glance across at me and smiled.
"Maura, I don't care what my kids get up to, as long as they come home safe and sound" I nodded, quietly contrasting her easy acceptance with Angela's loud protests against her children's careers. Christie gave a short laugh before she continued. "Besides, between Google and social media, it'd be hard to keep things quiet, you've all made the news more than once, for all sorts of reasons" I looked across in surprise, to see her looking back with a grin. "Not to mention the whole 'fashionista medical examiner' stuff" I rolled my eyes at that reminder.
"I have asked Natalie to see if she could possibly put a stop to that regrettable gossip, unfortunately Natalie, while good at her job, is unfortunately not omnipotent" That garnered a smile from Christie and a rueful chuckle from Natalie.
"Just don't tell her that dear one, Natalie likes to cling to her illusions"
"Hey!"
We'd arrived at the Dearing property to find it studded with wind turbines, something that apparently was more and more common in parts of the American heartland. The house itself was larger than I'd imagined, apparently it had been built in the age when families were significantly larger than today, it actually had six separate bedrooms, with one converted to an office and another into an extensive library. Wandering through it felt like a home, one I was immediately comfortable in.
After a quick tour Natalie had excused herself, she had not seen Smoke, her grey mare, since Christmas and she wanted a little private time with her to reconnect, leaving Christie and I to chat in her kitchen over a cup of tea.
"May I see your ring please?" I smiled and held my hand out, Christie looking it over closely with a lovely, slightly wistful smile. "Beautiful, it really is. Jane has good taste" She glanced up and her smile widened. "Not just in rings" I looked down for a moment, not wishing to let the impact of her words show, before settling back against the bench top to answer her, mimicking Christie's pose as she sipped her tea.
"Thank you, though I understand that Anastasia had assisted Jane in her selection of it. I love both the ring and the sentiment behind this particular one"
"Were you expecting Jane's proposal?" I shook my head, remembering that night as clearly as if it was yesterday.
"While we had of course discussed marriage, I had no idea Jane was planning anything special, it was a complete surprise but a very welcome one" Christie nodded slowly, hands wrapped around her mug. I tilted my head as I glanced at her and continued. "No doubt you were pleased with their recent engagement and are looking forward to Natalie and Anastasia's marriage?" She looked up and smiled happily.
"Peter and I give our girls a little grief from time to time about when their going to make honest women of each other, but seriously though, they don't need a piece of paper telling the world they're married, those two are as close as any couple could be, a certificate and a ceremony isn't going to change that" I nodded gently.
"I understand that, although many feel the symbolism is important" Christie nodded and spoke.
"Yep, and for many people it is, but you're their friend Maura, do you think it'll change them?" I shook my head at the thought; Natalie and Anastasia were a perfectly matched set.
"Of course not, they share an unbreakable bond" Christie frowned for a moment, then looked at me speculatively, before nodding once to herself, as if she had come to a decision.
"Normally I'd say you're right, in all their time together I've only seen one thing test that bond" I felt my eyebrows lift in shock. Natalie and Anastasia were as inseparable as any couple I had ever seen, each devoted to the other, the thought that something had tested that closeness was more than a little unsettling.
"I am surprised to hear that anything could strain their relationship, I cannot imagine another person intruding into what they have"
"I would have agreed, but one person did" Christie tilted her head at me. "Lauren" I felt my mouth drop open in surprise, her sister? Composing myself I asked.
"Lauren, surely not?" Christie's smile was a small one as she recalled what had happened.
"Yes, she didn't react all that well to what was happening between Nat and Ana" I frowned. Given the love clearly evident between them both, plus the obvious warmth and affection both showed when talking about Lauren, it seemed very unlikely, unless...
"Lauren did not approve of them being together?" Christie bobbed her head.
"In a way, it wasn't that she disapproved, more that she was jealous" I thought about that then replied carefully, questioningly.
"Oh?" Christie just lifted an eyebrow at me, sipped her tea then continued.
"Maura, Natalie and Lauren have always been very close, despite being two years apart. They hung round together all through school, looked out for each other, supported each other in everything" I nodded, based on all I had heard of their interactions as adult's I could imagine them as children. "The test came when Nat brought Ana home" I nodded, understanding where Christie was going.
"It caused a rift in their closeness" Christie's head tilted in agreement.
"Yes, Lauren suddenly went from the most important person in Nat's life to number two; Nat had someone new who was the center of her life and Lauren didn't handle that all that well" I nodded slowly.
"Lauren was jealous that she no longer held primacy in Natalie's life and affection?" Christie pulled a face in thought.
"Some of it was that, no doubt about it. Partly she was jealous of Ana for taking up all of Nat's attention, partly she was jealous of Nat for having Ana" I saw Christie was watching me as she spoke. "They had always had each other, for company, for support and for having each other's back since they were kids. Then not only does Nat suddenly have someone else, it's someone Lauren realises is everything that Natalie's ever hoped and dreamed of" I nodded as realisation grew.
"Who just happens to embody all of Lauren's hopes and dreams as well?" Christie smiled in happy agreement.
"Exactly right, we went through a period where Lauren hated Ana for supplanting her as number one in Nat's affections and hated Nat for having Ana" I pulled a small face as I spoke.
"That would be awkward, to put it mildly" Christie chuckled gently, obviously recollecting the past.
"That's an understatement" I smiled, now that it was in the past it would be interesting to hear of its resolution.
"So how was the situation resolved?" She looked across at me and smiled softly.
"Nat, Ana and Lauren were all up here one Easter and things had got tense between Nat and Lauren, no overt anger, just really frosty, with Ana playing peacemaker all Good Friday; I don't know who decided enough was enough but first thing Saturday morning they all saddled up horses, packed some food and camping gear and rode off. They told me not to worry; they just had to sort some things out. I didn't see them again until late Monday night; I was almost at the point of calling in the Sheriff's people to go look for them when they rode in, happy as anything, like there'd never been any issues. Ever since then all three have been as close as Nat and Lauren had been growing up" I frowned as I thought about it then spoke.
"Do you know what transpired?" Christie shrugged gently before replying.
"I've asked; asked each of them in fact. Ana said they'd talked it all out like civilised adults, Lauren told me they'd had an hours-long screaming match out where no one could hear them, until they got it all out of their system" She shrugged. "Nat just laughed, saying they'd kissed and made up" I nodded slowly.
"What do you believe Christie?" She smiled fondly.
"I think that my daughters had an overgrown spat and thrashed it out one way or the other, and came out of it a bit more grown up" I nodded slowly.
"In that case a desirable outcome"
"I'd say so" She looked over at me and smiled quietly. "Tell me about your parents Maura" I paused for a moment, surprised by the change in subject, then realised there was a good chance Christie already knew.
"My adoptive parents are Constance and Richard Isles, Constance is an avant-garde artist of some renown within her field while Richard is a respected paleontologist, he presides over archaeological excavations around the globe" Christie nodded slowly.
"I understand you don't see them very often" she said, drawing a nod from me.
"Not as much as I would prefer" I was willing to leave it at that when I saw Christie regarding me with a mixture of interest and compassion. I shrugged, downplaying my next statement. "They both travel extensively"
"And don't necessarily approve of your relationship with Jane" I looked up at her but she simply smiled guilelessly. "I talk to both Nat and Ana regularly, both were outraged on your behalf when they learnt of it and it came out during our chats" I looked down for a moment, embarrassed, only to see Christie's boot-clad feet walk into my field of view.
"Maura?" Her voice was soft. "Maura, look at me please" I looked up to see her crouching down in front of me as her hand came up to rest on my knee. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad, it's just that Ana and Nat care for you, a lot" I nodded, my voice soft.
"They are my friends, wonderful friends"
"Maura, both came from loving families so your estrangement hurts them deeply, they want you to be happy" I shook my head gently.
"I am happy, Jane makes me happy, my friends make me happy, Anastasia and Natalie, Alexandra and Olivia in New York, Sharon and Brenda in Los Angeles, Jane's family; they are the most important people in my life"
"I understand that, god knows you're the same to my daughters, they can't sing your praises enough" Christie leaned back a bit, giving me some room as she continued. "Why do you think your mother is having issues with your choices?"
"I believe that it is because I am asserting my independence in spite of her wishes, the third of my great acts of rebellion" I saw her eyebrow lift in a question which I was happy to answer. "My choice of career, my decision not to marry the man they believed I should and my decision to love Jane" I shrugged. "It is quite pathetic, here I am an adult woman and I can count the acts of rebellion on one hand" I looked over into her eyes, seeing the warmth and compassion there. "For all of her opprobrium though, I am doing something for me"
"I am sure there is an element of truth in that, I'm also sure she wants what she believes is the best for you, even if you don't see that in the same way" I frowned before replying.
"We most certainly do not. Constance disapproves of my relationship with Jane and refuses to see that it has made me very happy, perhaps for the first time in my life" Christie smiled up at me from where she was kneeling, once again placing her hand on my knee; normally I am more reserved that this with people I barely know, in this case though I felt strangely comforted by her touch as she spoke.
"Your mother is dealing with the realisation that her dreams for your future are not going to eventuate. She expected you to follow one path, but you've chosen another" She shrugged. "It sounds like she's still struggling to come to terms with the fact that her baby daughter's all grown up and making her own decisions" I thought about that for a moment, Constance had always been a dominant factor in my life; I had only gone against her express wishes a few times in my life, most particularly when I refused her desires to be a society wife, instead choosing medical school. That decision had been my first real act of rebellion as an adult. I nodded slowly.
"There may be something to that thought" Christie nodded slowly then spoke.
"Every mother wants the best for their child, daughters especially. We want them to be happy, to be loved, to marry and settle down and have children so they know the joy of being a mother too. Sometimes the images in our head collide with reality, sometimes gently" She paused and grimaced. "Sometimes not" Looking back up at me Christie's grimace was replaced with a happy smile.
"I won't lie to you Maura; I was concerned about seeing Natalie with a woman. It wasn't what I'd anticipated when they came home together that first time" She stood and moved to lean back against the kitchen bench beside me, her hands resting on the bench top behind her. "I'd anticipated seeing her with some man who'd love her, cherish her, protect her and make her happy. A woman wasn't part of that picture, not at all. Over the next few days though, it became obvious that Nat had managed to find her perfect partner, it just happened to be a beautiful woman" I smiled sadly as I spoke.
"I am afraid my mother has not yet made that leap of acceptance" Christie smiled back at me before replying.
"She will; it'll just take some time, but her love for you and desire for you to be happy will overcome her reservations" I glanced up into her blue eyes, so similar to her daughters.
"I certainly hope so" She smiled reassuringly, something that was reflected in both her tone and words.
"I am sure of it, your estrangement from her will be at least as painful for her as it is for you, to be cut off from her daughter" Christie pulled a face. "I couldn't imagine the pain if I was separated from my kids" I felt I had to correct Christie on that point.
"Your relationship with Lauren and Natalie is immeasurably different from the experience Constance and I have" Christie was quick to demur.
"Constance loves you; she just can't reconcile the child that you still are to her with the woman you are now. A mother's love for her child is total, unconditional and never stops" I frowned at her analysis, wondering if it could be that simple, something I put into words.
"What if it was never there to begin with?" Christie shrugged as she replied.
"Trust me, it's there, some find it harder than others to express it" I nodded then spoke.
"That would not appear to be a problem within your family" Christie's laugh was quick and light, making me smile as she spoke.
"Oh god no, us Dearing's are a loud, boisterous lot, hugging each other at the drop of a hat and with no boundaries when it comes to family, never have"
"Lauren and Natalie are very fortunate" She smiled and ducked her head at my comment before continuing.
"In your own way you are too. Your parents have a very smart, very beautiful daughter; they saw that and provided you with the opportunities to excel. You have taken those opportunities and run with them, you're one of the top people in your profession in the country, that's something to be proud of" I tipped my head a trifle dismissively.
"I was brought up to believe that anything less than excellence was a waste of potential" Christie smiled as she replied.
"All I've heard from Nat and Ana tells me that excellence is only a small part of who you are" I found myself smiling at her words, her natural and adopted daughters were both very important to me.
"They are very kind, and very good friends"
"As are you Maura, Constance may have trouble showing it but I am sure she must be very, very proud of you" I shrugged, one shoulder rising and falling before I replied.
"I would like to hope so; I know that my choice of career was not what she envisioned for me" Christie smirked once, briefly before replying.
"Let me guess, society wedding to a man from a socially acceptable family, raising 2.5 children, including an heir to the family fortunes, that sort of thing?' I looked up, surprised at her insight, before realising that given how close she was to Natalie and Anastasia she had probably heard enough to make an educated supposition.
"That is very likely the outcome she had anticipated" I tipped my head to regard her. "Mother is very disillusioned with my choices, in a career, in life and in Jane, something she has made clear on a number of occasions" Now it was Christie's turn to shrug as she replied.
"She's probably still coming to terms with the fact that her dreams and your reality aren't even remotely similar" I frowned, the sentiment coming out in my words.
"I have ever been a grave disappointment to her"
"And I seriously doubt that" Christie's smile was soft and warm. "I may be biased, but I believe I've raised two wonderful kids, both are lovely, smart, confident and beautiful women. Ana is like another daughter to me and she's just like Lauren and Nat" Christie ran her eyes over me and smiled. "Given all that, I would be proud to have you as my daughter too" I was left speechless for a moment, the lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat preventing me from saying anything. Before I could recover Christie nodded once. "You're just like them, smart, giving, loving, beautiful, any mother would be proud to call you their daughter" It took me a moment before I could continue, the raw emotion spilling into my voice.
"Given how wonderful Natalie and Anastasia are, thank you" She sipped her tea quietly, giving me a moment. Finally I brushed my cheeks with the backs of my hands and smiled. "Thank you Christie" She smiled softly, then leaned back against the bench top before speaking softly.
"Maura, perhaps you should look at it from your parent's perspective" She paused. "I don't mean how they are treating you over Jane, but how they treated you overall" I frowned, not understanding what she meant before asking the question.
"What exactly do you mean?" Christie placed the cup down beside her on the bench before turning back to look at me, her eyes soft and gentle, as was her voice.
"I believe that your parents raised you to the best of their abilities but they may not have been adequately prepared to be the loving parents you would have hoped for" She looked over at me and smiled. "Tell me about your grandparents" I paused for a moment, surprised at the sudden change in topic; I don't think anyone had ever asked. Recovering I began mentally sorting through what I knew, snippets overheard growing up, occasional meetings.
"My maternal grandparents died while I was quite young. My grandmother Geraldine passed away from cancer around my fifth birthday while Sebastian died from a stroke while I was away in France at boarding school. I learned of it when Mother told me in one of her regular letters"
"Were you close to them?" I shook my head as I replied.
"No not really, they were very formal in their upbringing and etiquette was very important, they were something of a forbidding presence to me, for example children were to be occasionally seen but definitely not heard in their presence" Christie shook her head at that before commenting.
"Hardly a particularly warm environment to grow up in, nor a great template for your mother's own experience of raising children" I nodded once at her insight.
"Perhaps" Christie's head tilted as she followed up her initial question.
"What about your father's parents?" I closed my eyes for a moment as I recalled the pertinent information; it had been many years since I had heard the details.
"Grandfather Robert was killed in the Korean War; he was killed leading his company in an assault in 1953, just before the armistice, leaving his sister Gretel to raise Richard on her own"
"And your grandmother?" I paused, my grandmother's fate was something rarely spoken of, before continuing, after all Christie did not strike me as someone who would judge.
"My grandmother, Sally-Anne, did not cope very well with her husband's death. She never truly recovered, eventually being institutionalised in the late 1950's for what was then diagnosed as hysteria. Today it would be seen as severe depression, but psychiatry was still in its infancy. To treat her they tried a number of different procedures, eventually culminating in electro-shock therapy, which left her brain dead" The stricken look on Christie's face was unexpected, as was the hug I was suddenly wrapped in.
"My god Maura, I'm so sorry" Her hug may have been unexpected but it was warm and comforting and very welcome; Christie must have held me for some ten or fifteen seconds before stepping back. "I didn't mean to bring up old memories, I'm sorry if I did" I shook my head, eager to dispell her regret.
"I never knew her Christie, it was long before I was born" She nodded slowly. Returning to the conversation to cover my emotions, I continued. "My father was raised by Robert's's older sister, another war widow, in this case from the Second World War. Her own children were much older so she set about raising my father" I paused as I remembered what I could from the few comments my parents had made about Gretel. "Richard never really bonded with Gretel, she provided him a home to live in until he reached eighteen years of age, at which time he received his inheritance, an amount sufficiant to allow him to complete his studies and seek out his own career, which he did"
Christie stood there watching me for a moment, her eyes, so blue like Natalie's, taking me in before she turned and set the kettle on once more. With her back to me she spoke, her words clear in the quiet, sun-dappled kitchen.
"Neither of your parents seem to have had the best parental experiences growing up Maura, it's hardly surprising then that they didn't give you the most warm and supportive home environment to grow up in. It's not that they didn't want to, more they didn't really know how to" I kept my voice low.
"They were always supportive of me, making allowances for my...differences" Christie tossed me a quick glance over her shoulder as she snorted then spoke.
"For being a genius you mean" I shrugged.
"I was a strange child growing up, somewhat withdrawn" Christie's smile was soft and warm, obviously something that came from being a mom to Lauren, Natalie and later Anastasia, for a moment I envied them even as Christie spoke.
"Nothing that a constant diet of love, hugs and kisses wouldn't have made a lot easier" She turned her head to look at me over her shoulder once again. "I take it that wasn't a big part of growing up in the Isles household?" I frowned, suddenly realising where Christie had gained some of her insight.
"Now you're using things I've told Natalie" She smiled softly, her voice equally so.
"Dear one, Nat cares for you deeply, more than you probably realise; in fact from how she talks about you, if she didn't have Ana and you didn't have Jane I'd probably be giving you the prospective mother in law vetting talk about now" I looked up, shocked at her words, making Christie smile widely. "I didn't think you were fully aware of it. Natalie thinks you and Jane are truly wonderful people, she loves you both dearly and wants you to be happy; something Ana is in wholehearted agreement on" She tilted her head as she regarded me. "Dear one, Nat and Ana have both sung your praises since you first met. I doubted anyone could live up to the hype, according to them you are perfect, as a person, as a doctor and as their friend" I felt myself blushing at the praise even as I struggled for a response.
"They are both very kind, I care for them both deeply, they have been wonderfully supportive friends" Christie turned from the stove, tossing a dish towel over her shoulder in a very natural gesture as she wiped her hands on the hanging end.
"Actually, I don't think they're being all that kind, I think they're being accurate. You seem a wonderful woman, Jane's very lucky to have you"
"It is me whom is lucky to have her"
"Not a bad thing really, you both realize how lucky you are. Too many couples forget that" She shrugged gently as she looked over at me. "Obviously something that you haven't"
I smiled as I looked away, Jane was the most important thing in the world for me, an indisputable fact and one that was equally true of Jane's regard for me, a fact that brought me a great comfort, I'd never had someone who cared for me like that. Before I could respond we heard the screen door bang close, making Christie smile.
"That's probably Nat back from the barn, she was never a quiet child growing up and nothing's changed" A few seconds later her daughter walked in, face alight.
"She's looking fantastic mom; you're obviously looking after her really well"
"Naturally" Christie smiled slyly. "I've had plenty of experience dealing with wilful, headstrong young girls, after the nightmare that was raising you lot Smoke is a calm joy to deal with" Natalie frowned as she replied.
"That's hardly a fair comparison" Christie played it off with a smile.
"If the horseshoe fits…"
"But I'm your oldest daughter, your heir and apple of your eye" Natalie protested, in return Christie smirked as she spoke.
"I will point out that Ana is older than you, so that doesn't work; there's no heirs as we've decided to spend your inheritance and as for apple of my eye, well Lauren has been ringing me rather more than you have lately…"
"That's cause she doesn't work anywhere near as hard as I do" Christie shrugged again, obviously enjoying teasing her daughter as I smiled at the banter.
"I call them like I see them, so…" Natalie folded her arms and pushed out a pretend pout at her mother before turning my way and favouring me with a dazzling smile.
"What do you think Maura?" I smiled and glanced at Christie, the opportunity to tease Natalie too good to pass up, then looked back at Natalie.
"I believe that it is never good manners to criticise the hostess, so I am afraid I must take Christie's side of this particular argument" I saw her eyes widen in mock shock.
"But, you're supposed to be my best friend!" I shrugged lightly.
"Perhaps true, but Christie is the one cooking dinner and as we are both aware, cooking has never been your forte" As Natalie's jaw dropped in faux-outrage Christie stepped over and put her arm around my shoulders as she spoke, smiling at her scandalised daughter.
"I really like this one Nat, she can come home anytime"
"WHAT?!"