Chapter 4 – The Song in her Heart

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.

~Donna Roberts

Veronica feared speaking with her children. She tried to be a good mom – she truly did. She read books, she talked to therapists and doctors – she asked for advice when she didn't have the answers. A good mom, she thought, would not be putting someone else before her children. Despite the assurances she was receiving from Mac, from Logan – even from her father – Veronica knew that she was putting Lilly's welfare in front of her children and their needs. Regardless, it was something she needed to do.

She and Logan followed Mac and Dick into the playroom where all six of their children were gathered. Grace and McKenzie were building a tower of blocks while Emma was playing peek-a-book with baby Cassie. Andrew has found his way to one of the many computers in the Casablancas household and was amusing himself with a kids game that Mac herself had created. Veronica sat on the floor closest to Emma and Logan joined her.

Mac and Dick perched on the sofa, taking Grace with them. "Guys – we need to talk." Veronica's tone was enough to stop them all. Emma was old enough to realize that something strange had been going on for days but the other children were still a bit behind. Veronica's voice clued them in. Emma sat back and Lynnie crawled into her lap. Andrew paused his game and moved to sit next to Logan. McKenzie stood immobilized in front of his block tower. The last time in his young life he's heard that tone in his mother's voice, their dog had died. He burst into tears, knocking the tower over and earning a scream from Grace.

"Don't cry," Veronica soothed, standing up and pulling him into her arms. "It's not bad. We just need to talk." She sat back down on the carped and snuggled with her son until his tears turned into sniffles.

"Your mom and I," Logan continued, "got a call the other day from a friend."

"Aunt Lilly is going to come and live with us," Veronica continued, looking at Logan with an unsure expression. She didn't know how much they should tell; if they got into too much detail, how were her children going to understand death as finality?

"I thought Aunt Lilly was dead," Emma panned, looking skeptically at her parents. Veronica nodded, biting her lip. Of course Emma would remember – she was named after Lilly. There were pictures throughout the Echolls home of the time when Lilly and Veronica had been inseparable.

"We thought she was," Veronica allowed. "But she was just very sick. We found her and brought her home – but she still needs a lot of help."

"Mom and I need to help her get settled –" The expressions on their faces proved that they had no idea what that meant.

"You guys are going to stay with Aunt Mac and Uncle Dick while we do that," Veronica said, cutting down to the main idea. "And we will come and bring you home as soon as we can." Emma stood up and ran from the room, ignoring Veronica's pleas to stay. Handing off their youngest son, Veronica stood and went after her.

"She hasn't been herself," Mac said, joining Veronica in the hall. "Her blood sugar is level – but she's acting like – well, like a teenager."

"Dear lord. I can't raise a teenager," Veronica quipped. "I was a horrible teenager – and look at Logan! He's lucky he survived his teenage years."

"Look, she's a good kid – she's just testy. Go and talk to her. We'll be fine for a few days," Mac promised. Veronica followed her eldest into the room she usually occupied in the Casablancas house – a pretty little room decorated in mutes pinks and oranges. Emma was sitting at the desk, scribbling angrily into what Veronica recognized to be her journal. Despite her daughter's believe otherwise, the young mother had never stooped to reading it.

Veronica sat on the bed and pulled a throw pillow into her lap, busily worrying the beaded fringe with her fingers. "Baby, we need to talk." Emma shut her journal but remained in her spot, not looking at her mother. "Can you at least look at me?" Emma turned, laying her head against her hand on the chair back so that she could see Veronica.

"I need you to understand something – I love you more than anything in this world. But right now, Aunt Lilly needs me." Emma remained silent. "Can you tell me what's wrong? Mac says you've been upset the whole time you've been here – what's up? You always used to love visiting Aunt Mac."

"Why did you wait 8 years to have Lynnie?"

"What? Where did that come from?"

"You had Lynnie, Andrew, and McKenzie really quickly – but you waited 8 years between me and Lynnie. Why?"

"You will understand some day when you have kids – it's not always your choice when things happen." Her daughter was too young to understand the complications that went into bearing their three youngest children.

"Do you want more kids?"

"What's with all the questions?" Veronica asked, suspicious. "I don't know. That's something your dad and I would decide together. Right now, I'm very happy with the four kids I do have. So, kid number 1 – what's the deal? Are you going to behave for Aunt Mac and Uncle Dick these next few days? I need you to help with the little kids."

"I will," Emma said. "But hurry up – I want to go home."

"I will do my best, my love," Veronica said, holding out her arms. Emma hugged her and they left to join the rest of their family. When Veronica and Logan left just after lunch, they drove to the nearby park and talked for a long time – they were doing the right thing – but they would work quickly to get their children back home.

Please review! Adding alerts is flattering -- but I'd also like to know what you think -- what is working -- what is not -- all comments and questions are welcome. Enjoy -- I have the next chapter almost ready so let me know what you think of this one and I'll get it up as soon as I can.