Chapter Four: Nightmares

It was happening again.

"You're up Gohan!"

The voice. It held such confidence. As if he wouldn't let the man down. As if him, a simple child, could save everyone on the planet. As if the voice knew he wouldn't do anything wrong.

But he had.

The bug like creature flew at him, swinging his leg to Gohan's face. The boy easily blocked it, having not even a second to collect his thoughts before having to dodge another attack.

"You're a quick little rodent!" Cell shouted with a smirk. His eyes held amusement, because to him it was all a game. At the time, Gohan never knew that the tides would soon turn, and that the monster within him would come out to play, "Now look at my real speed!" He yelled with arrogance.

This time, his body didn't react quickly enough when Cell jumped at him. He grabbed the front of his purple gi, punching him in the face before blasting him back into the rocks.

"G-Gohan!"

The boy twisted in his bed, his sheets getting caught around his legs. His face was distorted into anger and pain, but his eyes were still shut in rest. Although nightmares plagued him, the half Saiyan still slept on, unable to awake.

"I guess I over did it." Cell chuckled lowly, his voice meeting Gohan's ears through the rubble, "How childish of me." The bug spoke with a shrug.

Taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts, Gohan slowly picked his way through the debris, not wanting to waste his ki on such a daunting task. He knew he would need it fighting the monster that put him there. Strategies were running through his head as he tried to figure out a way to defeat the monster.

Suddenly a voice broke through his thoughts, "YOU KILLED GOHAN!"

Piccolo. His tone… it contained such rage. He was upset and thought that he was brought to his final demise by the small blast of Cell. Didn't the Namek know that he was stronger than that? It was just a tiny hit- he's sure anyone in their group could've taken it and survived. But his tone… it made him break through the rock quicker than necessary and once again he was walking towards Cell. Once again he was about to engage in the fight for humanity.

It's ironic how he ended up losing his during the battle.

His chest rose and fell faster, sweat caking his entire body. His fingers gripped the bed underneath him and easily tore through the fabric, getting stuck under his fingernails. He was whimpering, horrified at the scene that played against his eyelids. Reliving it was always the worse, because he knew what was going to happen and could never stop it.

He was evading the beams now. They shot at him like flies from Cell's fingertips, but he flew around them without a second thought, trying to pick his way towards the monster he had to face. It reminded him of the ray Frieza had once used, but he couldn't dwell on that thought. He had to concentrate.

He grew too close to Cell without being able to swipe a hit, and soon he found himself encased in a death grip. Cell's arms were wrapped around him in a tortuous hold, and he could hear his bones pop under the pressure. Words flew from Cell's mouth, but he didn't bother much attention to them. He knew it was just another jab at why he wasn't angry yet, and Gohan didn't know why. Or maybe that's a lie… Maybe he really did know. He just didn't want to acknowledge the fact.

Because Gohan knows now that his life doesn't matter to him. Only his friend's lives concerned him, and they did then too. How could he possibly get mad when none of them were in danger?

Suddenly, he was dropped to the ground, his lungs scraping in whatever oxygen they could. He was content with just lying there for a moment, but the spoken words of Cell stopped him.

"…In that case, I'll ask your friend's for some assistance."

His body still squirmed as it tried to pry its mental state out of the hellish dream. His arms flailed and his legs kicked, but he was locked into it, unable to pull out.

He watched as the miniature clones of Cell beat on his friends. They pounded on them as Gohan stood there in frozen shock, not knowing what to do. Every single one of them was struggling against them, even his Father. Why hadn't his power risen yet? Was it because he was more worried than angry? He felt it spike slightly, but it was nothing that could've saved them.

"Alright, stop fooling around Cell Juniors." Cell commanded, "You can kill them now if you want." He laughed mirthfully.

Gohan felt his breath leave him as he said that. His friends were getting hurt because he couldn't save them. Because he wasn't strong enough. What was he suppose to do?

Suddenly Android 16's head came rolling towards them, and Cell stomped on it without a second thought, giving him no chance of being fixed by Bulma. That's when he snapped.

"AHHHH!" He screamed, power surging through him. Shocks of electricity pulsed through his veins and cackled on his skin. His hair grew more unruly, and everyone froze, staring at him in a mix of shock and horror. His ki skyrocketed as he felt a rage he had never felt before, not even when his Father's life had been threatened years ago, burst in his stomach. This was the power that could save them all or destroy them.

This was the power that ruined him.

Suddenly, a knocking at his window caused Gohan to shoot up from his bed, gasping for air as he did so. He could feel a cold sweat drip from his skin and his eyes were wide in horror. Although he has had flashes of the past torment him in his dreams before, he had never relived that part of the battle so vividly before. It was completely horrifying.

The knocking sound echoed through his room once more, snapping him from his thoughts. He rose from his bed, kicking the sheet from his legs as he went, and walked towards the window, surprised to see a short, bald man floating there.

'What's he doing here?' Gohan wondered as he pushed open the window, moving aside so Krillin could fly in. He was in his usual orange gi attire, a sloppy grin on his face, but Gohan could tell that it was strained. The tips of his lips twitched, and his eyes shined in anxiousness, and Gohan had spent enough time with him to know that the way his left leg jiggled was a sign of nervousness. It made Gohan feel even worse.

"Uh, Hey Gohan." Krillin greeted him, biting his lip.

Gohan simply blinked, "Hey." He greeted shortly, moving to sit down on his bed. He knew he shouldn't have been bothered by Krillin's apprehension, but he couldn't help it. Although out of everyone in his life, he was the closest to Piccolo, he still shared some warm memories with his Father's best friend too and it hurt to see him like this. Gohan had ruined everything, and it made him feel bitter. It made him feel hatred to no one but himself.

The two sat in silence for a moment, Gohan's face completely stoic the whole time. The tension in the air, it was nerve wracking, and Gohan couldn't stand it anymore. "What do you want?" Gohan snapped, the words blurting from his lips before he could stop them. He didn't mean for them to come out the way they did, but they had, and the damage had been done.

The monk winced at the words, rubbing the back of his head before answering, "I, uh, well I started looking for the Dragon Balls, and it's not to hard of a task, and well…" He began awkwardly, fidgeting with his fingers as he spoke, "I… uhm, well I was just wondering if you wanted to gather them with me?" He asked, finally looking up to meet Gohan's eyes and his face flinched once more when he saw how empty they were.

Tugging his eyes away from Krillin's, they landed on a photo of him and his Dad when they were younger. He sat on his shoulder, his red hat with the large orange orb sitting on his head, and they both had the same dopey smiles, both exposing their white teeth. His Father looked so carefree and happy, and Gohan had taken that away from him. He had taken away everything his Father had to offer.

Sighing, Gohan glanced down, but he had made his decision. He was tired of being in this house, and even though Krillin might have been making this offer simply because he felt sorry for him, he couldn't help but take it.

He slowly nodded, "Sure." He agreed.

Krillin's face visibly relaxed at his words, and his smile seemed a tad more false, but his Saiyan hearing could still pick up the erratic pounding of his heart. Every time he heard it beat just made Gohan's heart feel like it shouldn't be at all.

The monk began walking towards the window, but Gohan felt like he wouldn't be able to take a single step before saying the words that hung on his lips, "You don't need to be scared of me Krillin." Gohan whispered, causing Krillin to stop in his tracks, "I'm not going to hurt you." He said, but his voice wasn't soft like it once was. Even with those kind words, the tone still remained hard.

Slowly turning towards him, Krillin only nodded before asking, "Shouldn't you tell your Mom we're leaving for a bit?" He quirked an eyebrow.

Humorlessly chuckling, Gohan shook his head, "She won't even notice I'm gone." He said with a sad grin on his face, one that easily fell into a frown, "Let's just go." He mumbled, advancing towards the window which caused Krillin to take a few steps back.

Without saying another word, Krillin nodded, and they flew from the window. He pulled the radar from his pocket, glanced down at it, and sped up, obviously in a hurry to get this done.

And Gohan understood why.

…

A slow rise in Gohan's energy caused Piccolo to emerge from his meditation. It was still low and basically dormant, but it was large enough to give him the power of flight. Zeroing in on it, he realized that with it, was Krillin's, and for some reason that caused anger to surge through him.

Why is it that Gohan is with Krillin instead of himself? He had given him the time that he obviously needed, but he was getting anxious of waiting. He wanted to help Gohan, even though he didn't know how. He wanted to see Gohan smile again.

Shaking the ridiculous thought that a once believed Demon King shouldn't be thinking, he rose from his spot and let the anger that bubbled within him form in his hand. He felt it course through his veins and finally coming to a rest in his palm, and when he swore he felt nothing at all, he shot it at the rows of tree in front of him, creating a path.

Breathing heavily, as the smoke cleared, he realized how pointless it had been. Now that that unsolved rage had left him, more just filled the spot in his stomach, and this time, so did another feeling. Sadness. It was a foreign feeling, one he had only gotten once before when he believed Gohan to be dead in the Cell Games, and he didn't like it residing inside him. He didn't like it at all.

Letting a loud growl escape his throat, he sunk back to the ground, easily slipping back in his meditative state. But the calm didn't come like it normally did. He couldn't escape his feelings for once. He couldn't escape his thoughts of Gohan.

…

Gohan had thought that searching for the dragon balls would take his mind off of everything that was going on. Maybe even mend at least one of his relationships, that being his with Krillin. He was very wrong.

Tracking them down was extremely nerve wracking. Every two seconds, Krillin was glancing over at him with an uneasy stare, and whenever Gohan would catch it, he'd quickly change it to a struggled smile. Thanks to Bulma's radar, they had already collected all but two, and it was nearing the end of the day. There was no way Gohan wanted to do this again tomorrow, so he was trying to rush to get it done.

"Krillin." Gohan called out to the monk a few feet ahead of him. The bald man froze before turning towards him, his smile shaking.

"Yes?" He questioned, his voice wavering ever so slightly.

Sighing, Gohan pinched the bridge of his nose. It was obvious that Krillin was afraid of him blowing his top again, but he never realized that he could strike fear into somebody's heart, especially one of his closest friends. It drove Gohan absolutely insane. What he had done may have been over the top, but he never expected someone like Krillin, who had been there since the beginning, to react like this from it. "How about you go get one dragon ball and I go get the other?" He suggested.

Krillin's eyes lit up, "Sure!" He agreed, toying with the machine to get the second one's location, "I'll go get the one in the mountains while you go get the one underwater, okay?" He questioned, pointing to the dot on the screen. It was positioned just a few feet away from the skirts of the water.

Nodding, Gohan flew off to the direction besides them, looking down at the ground to search for the lake. He knew finding it once he was at the location would be no problem since it was a bright orange orb, but finding it underwater may be a challenge.

After a while of flying, Gohan realized why Krillin had sent Gohan to fetch this one. He was nearing closer and closer towards his house, and the route seemed like the one he'd take on his way back from Bulma's. It was in the lake he and his father use to go to. It was in the one where Piccolo was at the other day.

Groaning, Gohan tossed his head back. 'Why do I keep ending up there?' He questioned, but knew it was too late to turn back. Krillin was probably halfway to the other dragon ball right now, and it would be too hard to find the one underwater in the dark. Also, there was no way Gohan wanted to continue the search tomorrow. He just wanted to find it and be done with this mess.

'Maybe I could ask Shenron to make everything go back to the way it was.' Gohan found himself thinking as he neared the lake, a smile forming on his lips. He could spend his days with Piccolo once again and go home to his Mother who would have dinner waiting on the table, and a scowl on her face for him being late. His Father would already be in his seat, shoveling food into his mouth, causing Gohan to laugh, and everything would be fine. He would still act childish, but always have a smile on his face and would truly believe that the world was a beautiful place, and it only turned ugly when monsters attacked it. Everything would be the way it once was. 'That would be nice.' He thought, tears swimming in his eyes.

But he couldn't help but feel as if he were the monster now. He got his Father killed. He played with Cell because he could. And he attacked Vegeta without much of a rightful cause.

He was the problem.

…

His menacing eyes snapped open when he felt a rising power crash into the still lake besides him. It took him a moment to realize that the ki was Gohan's since he thought it was still with the low one of Krillin's miles away, and it was also hard to recognize because of the rage that waned off of it.

Hovering to his feet, Piccolo rushed to the lake as Gohan resurfaced to breathe. The sun was beginning to set and the warm colors of orange and red reflected across the demi Saiyan's face, causing the boy in question to wince. Piccolo opened his mouth to ask what he was doing, but before he had the chance, Gohan had already dived beneath again.

His mouth hung open in an unfinished question, and his non existent eyebrows were scrunched up together in shock. He didn't know whether or not he should go after Gohan because he hadn't had the slightest idea of what he was doing. But before having to make his decision, the boy jumped from the water and back to the ground in front of him, a dragon ball held to his chest.

Still staring, Piccolo took in the sight before him. Gohan, his strong, confident Gohan, was spilled across the dirt like a fish out of water. His black hair was dripping and clung to his pale face, and his breathing was labored for being under so long. But what took him off guard the most was his eyes. His onyx eyes, once filled with love and joy, were sorrowful, red, and puffy. The water of the lake hadn't been enough to wash away the dry tears of his face, and Piccolo could feel his throat closing up just looking at him.

It was then when Piccolo realized that he wasn't the same Gohan anymore, and if he was, he was completely lost in the shell of what he currently was. He was upset, angry, and he even looked broken. What had happened at the Cell games tortured Gohan more than Piccolo had realized before, and it twisted inside Gohan's mind in such a way that it had begun to ruin him. But Piccolo couldn't let that happen.

"Gohan…" He murmured quietly, trying to find the words to say to his student. But Piccolo knew he had learned a lot more from Gohan than the Namek taught him, and it was odd referring to the boy as a student. He was… his friend.

Hearing him, Piccolo watched as more tears began to cascade down from the half Saiyan's eyes, and his chest heaved, "I- I don't, I- I don't know what to do Piccolo." Gohan began sobbing, swatting at his eyes in obvious embarrassment to be seen this way, "My Dad's dead because of me, my Mom is afraid of me, Krillin is treating me as if I were Frieza, and you hate me!" He cried harder, dropping the dragon ball as his hands covered his face.

Going rigid, Piccolo felt his words as if they were swipes of a sword. His heart, that hadn't felt anything until this child came along, broke. But it was nothing compared to what Gohan was feeling, and he even looked completely shattered, lying there, sobbing his eyes out.

Before he was aware of what was happening, he wrapped his arms around Gohan and pulled him into an awkward embrace. Piccolo had never touched anyone before if it wasn't a motion of attack, let alone hug anyone, so this action in itself was weird. But when Gohan buried his face into his chest and continued to cry, he instantly relaxed. Tightening his arms around the frail boy, he whispered, "I don't hate you Gohan."

Pulling his head from the white cloth, Gohan hiccupped, his eyes watery, "Y-You promise Mr Piccolo?" He asked, the familiar name causing Piccolo to smile ever so slightly.

"I promise." He whispered, the rumbling monotone of his voice causing Gohan's lips to turn up ever so slightly. But no matter how small it was, it was a real smile. It wasn't the forged ones Gohan had been trying to pass off before. And knowing that caused Piccolo's once frozen heart to swell.

A/N: Andddddd…. The end. Well, of the chapter anyways!:D So there's a little Piccolo and Gohan fluff for you, because I know if Piccolo would ever give a hug to anyone, it would be Gohan. The two have a bond as strong, if not (and probably is) stronger, than Father and Son and it must be expressed! Haha, enough of my rambling! Anyways…

Thanks to: NovaStarTwilight, andriod727, Friendlybrarian (Your reviews are always so amazing!), Ky111, Nature Kid, 2323, Wulfeh, Gabrielle85847, and Gogandantes for reviewing! All of you are so nice and kind it just makes me smile every time I open my email! Thank you so much! Well, until next time then. Thanks for reading and please review!