A.N: See, I'm nice. I'm giving you alerts. Cry alert! Get tissues alert!
Alec woke up groggy, rubbing his eyes,he saw Magnus sitting at his head, lost in thought. He was going to touch his boyfriends face when suddenly everything came rushing back to him. He jumped to his feet and just said one name "Jace".
Magnus looked up at him, "Sit down, Alec. Please."
"No what happened, you knocked me out? What were you thinking?"
"Alexander, calm down!"
"Calm down?! My parabatai was talking about sacrificing himself and you are telling me to calm down?!"
"Alexander,.."
"Don't you tell me what to do, why can't I feel him, what have you done?!"
Alec was almost screaming. He knew that it wasn't Magnus's fault but you know everyone takes anger out on the person they love very much because they know they will be forgiven. He couldn't feel his parabatai. And that was killing him. Magnus reached out to touch him but he flinched back. "Tell me, Magnus."
"Jace told me to do this so that you don't feel any pain."
"Where is Jace?"
"When does a parabatai not feel his other half?"
Alec collapsed on the bed "He can't be.. He isn't.. he is dead?"
He said that as if he was asking a question and stating something at the same time. Magnus sat down beside him and put his arms around his shoulder. This time Alec didn't protest. He just leaned back tiredly into his boyfriends chest letting him support all his weight. His body shaking from the silent tears and he could feel Magnus's shirt being soaked but he didn't care, Magnus didn't seem to either because he just clung onto his weeping boyfriend who was reeling from the shock and pain of losing his parabatai.
It had been half a day since she saw another of her brothers die right in front of her eyes. Isabelle hadn't grown up with Jace, she hadn't even liked him very much when he first came. He was arrogant and stand offish and didn't treat Isabelle like the princess she wanted to be but as she grew older it had been Jace who encouraged her and didn't baby her. He always knew that she was tough and treated her with the same respect he would give to a man. She valued that more than anything. She knew it wasn't fair to Jace, he didn't deserve to die but he deserved the respect he got for sacrificing himself for all of the world. She had seen Jocelyn of all people fight with the Inquisitor to give Jace the highest honour a shadowhunter could receive. He was going to be cremated in the Bone City. That's all he ever wanted until Clary came along that is. Then his death wish was almost gone but this time things were bigger than Clary and he had always been selfless. She knew he would expect her to look out for Alec and Clary so she did. Alec didn't smile or laugh but then who did. But he was fine, recovering with Magnus's help. She had Simon with her but what worried her most was Clary. She was not grieving. She was too normal. That made her worry that she was not thinking about what had happened and later this would attack her at once and it would be more than she can take. She had herself tried to talk to her but had found her sketching faces of happy families, she said she was fine and wanted to be left alone but Izzy was always worried. She just wanted for time to pass so that things would be okay or she would get used to this. She knew people did, she did after Max.
Clary had taken permanent residence in the Lightwoods house and never talked to anyone who connected her to him. She didn't want to think about that. She talked with random people, drew random stuff, never letting her mind face the reality. Izzy tried to talk to her and she gathered that he was going to get a very respectable burial. She went down to the dining room and found Isabelle there. She opened the fridge without acknowledging her and took something to eat out. Izzy noticed her and came up to her.
"Hey, how are you?"
"I am fine. Just wanted something to eat."
Isabelle nodded "Can I show you something?"
"Sure, I'll just keep this back."
"You don't have to," The taller girl took the container out of her hand and kept it on the table and pulled her out of the house. Izzy took her to the Hall of Accords and then to the way down to the Basilias. She knew what was there. She resisted but Isabelle dragged her along.
"You are in denial, you need to see this."
"No, you can't force me."
"Watch me!"
As soon as they entered her eyes found the white cloth covered familiar shape.
Isabelle pointed at it and said, rather screamed, "That is Jace, Clary! He is gone. He is being kept here to be cremated later tomorrow!"
"I know, I Know, I KNOW!" Clary felt tears run down her cheeks and she was being inundated with memories, Jace's smile, Jace's smirk, Jace's gentle touch, his jokes, his kisses. They were all memories. Good memories bad memories but memories and she will never be able to make any more, she will never be able to feel his touch, she will never be able to kiss him, she will never be able to hear him laugh, she will never be able to hear how much he loves her.
Isabelle's words rang in her ears.
Gone. Cremated. Tomorrow.
She will never ever be able to see him again. She turned around in hysterics and ran and ran until she reached his room and locked the door and fell forward on her knees. She missed everything. She just wanted him to hold her tight and promise her that things will be okay but she never got what she wanted and never will. His bloodied face as he told her he loved her for the last time came to her mind, she saw his favourite jacket hanging on a hook and cried even harder. She doubled over herself. That was all she had left of the person who could comfort her with his mere presence. She thought back to the night before and felt a deep regret. Jace knew he was going to die so he had initiated making love to her but she had denied him, now she would never get another chance to show him that all of her self was his. She ultimately passed out from crying so hard.
She was awakened by a banging on the door and Isabelle's voice. Her head was aching and her eyes felt like needles were piercing straight through them to her brain. She just screamed for Isabelle to go away and leave her alone. After a while she went away and Clary curled up with Jace's jacket on the bed and new tears started pouring down her eyes. This time there was no angel to give Jace back to her. The next time she woke up, it was night, more like early morning because a bit of light was starting arise from the horizon. Her head felt like she had been drugged. She was all groggy and confused. She noticed the jacket behind her and picked it up and threw it down, in rage. She would never take him back even if he came back to her. But then she herself picked the jacket up and pressed her face in it. Of course she would take him back. All she wanted was him to be back. Just then a knock sounded on the closed door.
"Go away, Isabelle. I'm not hungry."
"Izzy said you might be a bit bitchy at this hour of the morning but most would throw everything away to get a good look at me."
She knew she was dreaming. It couldn't have been morning so fast and it absolutely cannot be Jace at the door.
She went to open the door as she felt that at once her dream would break but it didn't. Standing in front of her in peak health was Jace himself. No scars nothing. He smiled at her. A genuine happy smile that made her insides melt.
She was completely confused, she even toyed with the idea that she died from grief or that she suddenly could see ghosts but at last wrote it off to a dream.
"I never want this dream to end"
A frown marred his features and then realisation took its place. He stepped inside the room and she stepped back, thinking if she touched him he would disappear and she just wanted to relish the sight of him. He picked his hand up and went forward to touch her but she moved away.
"Clary, this is not a dream. You are wide awake."
"How can this not be a dream. I saw you die. Felt you die."
"And here I am, not dead. The Angels didn't keep me, something along the lines of how I would be a tough competitor in glamour and beauty and radiance."
Clary was confused. How was this happening. She didn't let herself believe that he was back because she knew she wouldn't be able to face the disappointment when she woke up.
His face softened. "I'm real I promise, see.." he extended his arm.
Clary cautiously moved her fingers to touch him. He felt warm and real but his hands were not scratched and cut. Clary began doubting everything.
"Everything happened, Clary." He held her hand firmly. "I did die and then it was Ithuriel. We freed him remember so he was indebted to us and he has a kind of special attachment to you. You were calling out to him probably and he saved me. And also a bit of ego clash with Lilith, I guess. She came down to save her blood while he, an Angel, couldn't. "
Clary couldn't believe her eyes. She tentatively raised her hand to his chest. His heart was beating. Strong and healthy. She cried in surprise and flung herself onto him. He held her tightly to himself and burrowed his face in her neck. "God,I love you!" She started crying at the words she thought she would never hear again. Jace sat down, with her in his lap and rocked them till she stopped shaking and crying.
"I love you, too."
He kissed her, intending to just keep it comfortable and calming but she had other things on her mind.
"I want you, Jace."
He looked unsure, "Are you sure? It is almost day."
"Yes." she kissed him firmly on the lips and he carried her to the bed and her sad cries of last night turned to something else. She didn't care that it was morning, she didn't care that the door was not locked, all she knew was that she was in the arms of the boy she loved and he was going nowhere. And she had no regrets whatsoever.
"Can you imagine the face of the Inquisitor when he was talking about burying me and I tapped him on the shoulder and said that I would prefer to be cremated?" Jace said, laughing. Clary was lying on her front, naked but covered from waist down. She was shaking with laughter but kept a hand on Jace's chest. He was lying on his back and recounting stories from after he woke up.
"I am so glad you are back."
Jace smiled but then turned her around and said "Do you remember the signs we had because we had more angel blood?"
She looked at her shoulder where the star had been but saw nothing. She looked up at Jace and saw that his sign was gone too. He sighed "The Angels do not do anything for free. When Ithuriel gave me my life back he took our powers away. So now we are just any other shadowhunter. "
Clary looked at his face and knew that she would miss her rune power, it made her feel special but above that it was Jace who made her feel like she was the prettiest and strongest.
"I am so glad you are back."
Jace pulled her towards him and kissed her to show how much happy he was to be back too. "You think we will be fine, you know, without me jumping like toads and you creating runes?"
She smiled "Anything to keep narcissists and zealots off our back, don't you think?"
"You are the best!" he turned them over with her top of him and kissed her till their lips couldn't take anymore.
Maybe they were two people who got lost in translation but they were two souls who always find each other. Forevermore.
A.N. And that is the end. Surprise Alert?!
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Love, Thea
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