A/N: Special thanks to Jools and Nicole for being awesome people to bounce ideas off of. Thank you!
Ignorance
Jergen was rarely in Jorrvaskr. He tended to leave for days at a time, doing jobs for the Companions.
Farkas still could not figure out what it was the Companions did exactly. Whatever it was, it required them to be able warriors.
Whenever Jergen was in Jorrvaskr, he would spend his time with the twins, teaching them what he could. When he was away, however, they spent their time either playing with Aela or learning from their elders.
Kodlak was a veritable well of information and that made him Vilkas' favourite person.
Kodlak was what Farkas thought a grandfather would be like. He seemed ancient to him but he could only be in his forties. He was educated, level headed and dignified, possessing all the qualities Vilkas admired. Kodlak was a serious man, not the kind of serious that seemed sulky and brooding like Vilkas, but the kind that seemed thoughtful.
He wasn't always serious though, sometimes he let his his wry sense of humour show, mostly for the twins' benefit, trying to lighten the mood when the boys were too quiet. When they were bored, he would tell them stories, old legends that have been passed down to him by his father.
Of all of Kodlak's stories, Farkas loved the legend of the Dragonborn most of all.
Apart from Kodlak, Eorlund Gray-Mane was Vilkas' other favourite person, for he knew much about Whiterun's history and some of Jorrvaskr's as well, but weapons and steel were what he knew best.
Eorlund told the twins he was not a Companion. When they asked, he said that he only had the honour to be their blacksmith because there was no one else who knew how to use the Skyforge, but Farkas wasn't so sure about that. It is true that the man rarely spent time inside Jorrvaskr's hall, preferring to spend time with his family instead, and it is true he didn't do any jobs for the companions like Jergen did, but he was respected by all the companions and they often asked him to join them for dinner and the drinking parties that the twins and Aela were not allowed to attend, making him something of an honourary member regardless of Eorlund's modesty.
Aela's mother, Astridr, was an intimidating woman. Her face was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that was surreal, and her red hair matched her daughter's, usually left mostly loose with some of it braided back and away from her face. She was fairly tall and slim but also muscular, able to lift and wield heavy two handed weapons with practiced ease. Her eyes were an ice blue, made more unnerving by the dark war paint smudged across her eyes.
Farkas was not sure he'd ever seen the woman without her war paint and armour. It made eating breakfast with her a little unsettling.
Despite her...frankly terrifying appearance, Astridr was kind to the twins and took it upon herself to look after them. She arranged for them to sleep in the room across from the room she shared with her daughter and made sure they slept at the same hour as Aela. She insisted they sit by her and her daughter at meal times too, piling their plates high with food and making them eat it all, even the vegetables, much to the twin's displeasure.
Astridr promptly included them in Aela's training and took the time to teach them the basics of sword fighting, sometimes teaching them how to use other weapons as well.
Aela seemed to favour archery to the sword. Farkas was convinced she made the right choice, for she seemed to enjoy it and she was really good at it, rarely missing her mark. The twins, on the other hand, were more inclined towards short range weapons.
Vilkas had been a bit distant lately. Before, when they had been with their mother, the twins did everything together. Now that they were in Jorrvaskr, Vilkas was apparently finding other people's company more favourable.
When he was with Farkas, he would stand next to him but they did not communicate as easily as they used to. Sometimes Vilkas would purposely ignore any attempt at communication, sometimes he would ignore Farkas altogether, pretending his brother was not there at all. If Farkas presses for a response, Vilkas would either snap at him or give him short and curt replies.
And it hurt.
There were nights when Vilkas would come to him, sneaking into Farkas' bed when he thought he was asleep. If Vilkas discovers that Farkas was not asleep, he would go back to his bed without a word, ignoring him completely when Farkas would ask what was wrong. So Farkas pretended to be asleep, just so he could pretend that everything was alright and they were just sharing a bed again, like they would when they were younger.
Farkas was concerned for his brother. He was not sure what made Vilkas behave this way but he feared his brother hated him. Vilkas was his entire world. They were brothers. Twins. Born on the same day, bathed in the same water and slept in the same bed from the moment they came into this world. He was not sure what to do without his brother at his side. He felt lost, like a fish on land, without his brother to share everything with. He could not even make simple decisions without his eyes seeking his brother out, wondering what he thought.
It almost felt like losing a limb.
It was not until he spoke with Astridr about it that he understood.
It was after one of the training sessions with Astridr. Vilkas had shrugged him off again and gone in search for Kodlak, eager as ever to hear more stories. Aela had disappeared somewhere, probably to chat with one of the other Companions or cause mischief.
Farkas knew he needed help. He was not sure what to do anymore and he hoped Astridr would be able to help him understand his brother, maybe even help him fix whatever he had done to make Vilkas hate him.
The door to Astridr and Aela's room was partially open but he knocked anyway.
"Come on in, Farkas." Astridr's voice called from within.
He pushed the door open, the hinges creaking with age. Astridr was sitting at a small round table in the corner, still in full armour, mending one of Aela's torn tunics with a needle and thread.
"How did you know it was me?" He wondered.
Astridr gave him a secretive smile but did not answer his question. She stuck the needle into the cloth of the tunic and placed it on the table.
"Come, sit." She instructed, leaning over and patting the other side of the table, indicating that she wanted him to sit across from her. He shuffled over and hopped into the chair.
"Do you want to tell me what has had you brooding all week?" She asked shrewdly.
Farkas flushed in embarrassment, "I haven't been brooding." He mumbled.
Astridr gave him a look that was so reminiscent of the look his mother gave him when he tried to lie to her that Farkas had to swallow the sudden lump in his throat.
"Alright," he admitted,"So I was brooding."
"What about?"
Farkas shifted nervously in his chair before answering.
"Vilkas. I...I think he hates me. I don't know why he does but...I want to fix it."
Astridr's brow furrowed in concern and leaned closer, resting her elbows on the table. "Why would you think that?"
Farkas blinked back tears, "I don't know!" He huffed and shrugged jerkily, frustrated, "He's been acting weird. He doesn't talk to me anymore, he avoids me and when he's not ignoring me, he's yelling at me! I just..." He trailed off for a moment and when he spoke again, his voice was softer, "I want my brother back but I don't know what I did wrong."
Astridr's face softened. She reached out and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Oh, Farkas. Vilkas doesn't hate you."
Farkas took a deep breath, still trying to reign in rebellious tears, "He doesn't?"
"No, pup. You and your brother have been through a lot and people deal with things differently. I think there are many reasons your brother acts the way he does, I think it's partly because he doesn't know what to do with his anger towards the loss of your mother and he deals with it by wrongfully taking it out on you."
Farkas' shoulders slumped.
"But I think it's also partly because your brother wants to make a name for himself, away from you."
The words stung and Farkas frowned, hurt and confused, "I don't understand."
Astridr smiled patiently, "It's hard for you to understand because you are different from Farkas. You want to be with him always, right?" Farkas nodded, "But your brother wants to be unique. He doesn't want to be known as a twin, he wants to be known as Vilkas, and that can't happen until he's away from your side."
Farkas huffed again. His vision blurred and he bowed his head, reaching up to wipe at his wet eyes.
"I think he might be a little jealous of you too."
His head snapped back up to stare at her with a slack jaw, "What?"
Astridr chuckled, "You've been doing really well in your training. You're a natural with a sword and it's already clear with how fast you've grown since you came here that you'll be tall and strong."
Farkas' cheeks burned, unused to such praise.
"Your brother is good with a weapon but i think he has noticed that you pick up on things faster than he does. How frustrating do you think it would be, if you were trying to be good at something, only to find your brother is better at it?"
Very frustrating. Was that why Farkas was so angry with him? Now that he thought about it, Vilkas had only started his sulking after their third training session with Astridr. Astridr had complimented Farkas on his form that day. It had only gotten worse since then as Farkas grew more comfortable with his practice sword. Maybe if...
He forced a smile, "Thank you, Astridr, I think I understand now."
She smiled, "You're welcome, pup."
She gave his shoulder a squeeze before leaning back in her seat. Farkas took the opportunity to hurriedly leave the room, feeling awkward after their heart to heart.
Later, when they were all having dinner, Vilkas was sitting beside him, listening to one of the Companions tell a story. It was something about Dwemer mines but Farkas was only half listening until Vilkas made a comment about Aetherium.
That was his chance.
"What is Aetherium, brother?" Farkas asked, feigning ignorance.
He already knew what Aetherium was. He had read about it in one of Kodlak's books when he was bored one night, having been left alone by Vilkas that night.
Vilkas looked torn for a moment, like he wanted to ignore his twin but he also wanted to answer him. Vilkas' expression finally settled on resignation and Farkas felt hope flare in his chest.
"It was a kind of crystal the Dwemer discovered. It's bright blue and it glows and it's very very rare. It's very precious to mages." Vilkas said the last word with disgust, "Apparently, it has magical properties."
Farkas did his best to look impressed, "Wow, that sounds amazing! Where did you learn about that, Vilkas?"
His brother straightened in his chair and preened, his expression smug, "I read a lot. I know a lot about these things."
"How come you're so much smarter than me, brother?" Farkas asked. He worried that his delivery might have been a little transparent, but Vilkas seemed to buy it.
His brother smirked, "Don't worry about that, Farkas."
Farkas felt a flash of anger at his brother's condescension and quickly squashed it down, forcing a look of admiration on his face instead.
Stick to the plan, Farkas.
"Will you tell me more about the Dwemer?" He requested, hoping Vilkas would take the bait.
Vilkas' self-satisfied smirk widened into a smile, "Of course."
Farkas glanced at Astridr who met his gaze with knowing disapproval. He ducked his head sheepishly and turned his attention back to his twin.
He spent the rest of dinner listening to Vilkas lecture him on the Dwemer, trying his best to maintain his ignorant facade and feeling lighter now that he had his brother back.