Oh, Edward!

A/N: Thank you for all your ideas. They really help and, as promised, you will be mentioned in my note! So…a HUGE thanks to elise-marieCULLEN and CynicalInkSlinger for your ideas!! I would like to let you both know that you helped make the people who read this story happy, and you helped me feel happy!! Be proud of yourselves! And now, to see how I remixed your ideas:

"Oh, Edward!" called Bella. Her voice came from the kitchen, so I hurried off in that direction.

She was standing in front of the opened fridge, frowning at it. I came up behind her and put an arm around her waist.

"What is it, love? Trying to cool down? I can help," I said quietly into her ear.

Her frown disappeared and she replaced it with a coy smile. She giggled.

"Even if it were the middle of winter I would want you to help me cool down, Edward." She closed the fridge, and I ran my other hand over her stomach, intending to link it with my other hand. But as I did so, I felt and heard her stomach rumble.

I pressed my cheek against hers, unable to wait for her reaction.

"Hungry, Bella?" I asked. With pleasure, I received the anticipated heating of her cheeks, and when I glanced at her I saw that she was blushing a delicate pink.

"Well, I was planning on telling you when you came in, but I got…distracted." She looked up at me pleadingly.

I chuckled quietly.

"Normally, I don't mind distracting you, but I think it would be best if I objected this time. Your survival is quite important to me."

"I'm not that hungry, Edward," she whined. Her stomach protested. I laughed again, and the corners of her mouth lifted slightly.

"I've always been a horrible liar. Now even my own body is against me," she mocked pouting, so I bent my neck gently.

"Maybe this will cheer you up," I said, pressing my lips to hers gently. I felt her relax instantly, and she gave a small sigh when I finally pulled away.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, love," I said, kissing her forehead. Then I went to the garage and started up my Volvo, anxious to get her food and get back.

Whoops.

Food.

What was I thinking? What did I know about food? I was a vampire for squad's sake! Why had I thought that I would be able to pick out food for a human?

Yeah, what were you going to get her, Eddie? A mountain lion? A little voice said sarcastically. The voice sounded like Emmett's, so, as I often do with Emmett's, I ignored it.

I started to calm myself down. It was just food, right? It wasn't as if it would attack me or anything. Everything would go just fine. I laughed at myself for freaking out. I had nearly had a full-blown panic attack about human food.

I pulled smoothly into a spot in the grocery store's parking lot. Grabbing my wallet, I quickly walked to the store and entered.

The first thing I noticed was the smell. The smell of blood. I stopped breathing, but not before I smelt the food. My nose crinkled in distaste as the two scents merged. Bloody food! I could easily be British.

The annoying drone of thoughts buzzed endlessly in my mind, and I tried my best to ignore it. I heard an employee thinking of coming over to 'offer assistance'. I tried to seem as though I knew what I was doing, but I soon heard a voice loud and clear beside me.

"Excuse me, sir, but do you need any help?" I turned around to see a young man, maybe 16 or 17, looking up at me from a few inches below.

"No, thanks," I replied politely. The boy didn't move, so I threw in a smile and turned back to the shelves of food. I could still feel his presence, so I moved down a bit. To my surprise and annoyance, he caught my arm.

"If there's anything, anything at all that you need me for, you just let me know." He was looking at me anxiously, and he gave me a not-so-subtle wink. Tuning in to his thoughts, I caught on.

"Oh," I said quietly. He was, to put it politely, not of the normal sexual orientation. How to get rid of him effectively? I thought for a moment, then warmly shook his hand, making sure that his fingers closed over my wedding ring.

"Duncan," I said, sneaking a peek at his name badge, "I really am grateful for the offer. Really, I am. But I have certain limits and restrictions," I ended, hoping he would get the point.

I saw his eyes widen as he felt my ring, then they lit up with excitement. Using our joined hands, he pulled me closer.

"I can get rid of that easily. I have a brother who's a priest, and I'm sure-"

"Thanks, but no thanks. Being married is one restriction, but another is that I'm strait." I quickly pulled away, and I was pretty sure I had hurt his hand. But I didn't care, all I knew was that I had to exit fast. I turned down the first aisle I saw.

I paused. I had never before been to a grocery store before, and yet I had seen this aisle somewhere… I started reading the names of some of the packages. Always, Poise, Kotex… Suddenly, with horror, I realized where I had seen this aisle before: in my brothers' thoughts. I got out of there as fast as possible, and using vampire speed, though I made sure no-one saw me.

I entered another aisle and looked up at the sign. Cereal, cookies, crackers and candy. Maybe the food was classified alphabetically. That would make this a lot easier.

I caught sight of box of cereal. I recognized the disgusting stuff that Bella had once eaten in front of me and grabbed it, trying not to look at it too much. I saw something called Dentyne and got some of that too, along with Oreos, Ritz, Chips Ahoy, KitKats and Aero. I sped through the remaining aisles, picking up, among other things: Chicken, beef broth, chocolate milk, white milk, cranberry juice, carrots, celery, lettuce, Caesar sauce, peanuts, Rice Krispies bars, some chewy animals, Tostitos, ketchup, barbecue chips, tomatoes and, at the checkout, People magazine, because there was a picture of a funny bald woman on the front who was rumoured to be crazy. I picked it up, thinking that it might make Bella laugh.

The final amount of food was 236 dollars worth, and the cashier looked at me oddly. How odd, I thought. Surely I wasn't the only person who bought food in the world.

I loaded the trunk of my Volvo and the backseat because the trunk couldn't hold it all. I vaguely wondered if Emmett's Jeep would have been able to contain all this food…

I climbed into the front seat with a bag of milk on my lap and easily swerved around cars backing in and pulling out of various parking spots. This lot was more dangerous than the road, I thought.

I sped home, enduring the smell of food the entire way. But I made it to the house eventually and quickly brought all the food to the kitchen. I looked at it in confusion. Where was it supposed to go? I used my common sense and finished putting it away just as Bella walked in.

"Edward!" she cried, throwing her arms around my neck, "I didn't know you were home!"

"I just got back, actually. The kitchen is now stocked with all the human food you could possibly want!" I grinned proudly.

"Really!" she exclaimed. "Let me see what you got me!"

Excitedly, she opened a cupboard, and frowned.

"Edward, why is the milk in here with the glasses?"

"Well, because you need a glass to drink liquids. The cranberry juice is in there, too, " I added, but I don't think Bella heard me. She had started laughing after my first sentence. I looked at her in confusion. What had I done wrong?

She caught sight of my face and stopped laughing immediately.

"Oh, Edward, honey, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to insult you. But, milk doesn't go in the cupboard, dear. Maybe…maybe you should take everything out from where you put it and put it back on the counter. I'll put it away. You've done enough today."

Feeling miserable and incredibly stupid, I nodded and began to unpack all the places where I had stored the food. It took me about 17 seconds. When all the food was laid out on and around the counter, Bella stared at it with her mouth open.

"Edward," she whispered, "how much did you pay for all this?" She didn't take her eyes off the food.

I relaxed. She was worried about the price.

"Oh, it cost me 236 dollars. Don't worry, love, I had enough money."

She turned to look at me with wide brown eyes.

"Two…hundred…and…forty…dollars? For…food?"

I shifted my weight from foot to foot uncomfortably as I nodded.

As soon as I did, a million emotions flitted over her face. Anger, pity, confusion, disbelief, and more confusion. Then, as her features returned to normal, all emotions were replaced by one: love.

"Oh, Edward. What will I do with you?"

I grinned.

"Hopefully kiss me." Without waiting for a reply, I stepped forward and pulled her into a long embrace. After a minute, she pulled away to breathe, then she pulled me to her again. I chuckled, and even as I kissed her, all the reasons I loved her filled my brain. This, surely, was one of them.

A/N: Awwwww! Edward is so good! Ha! I imagined Edward matter-of-factly explaining to Bella why he put the milk with the glasses…instant inspiration! Well, I hope you all enjoyed this! Please review!!!