I need to survive for them

I quickly get out of bed in the morning and go downstairs. Today is the day I will train for my interview in front of the entire nation. It will probably be my last chance to convince the other tributes how helpless and weak I am, even if it means that the rest of Panem thinks I am, too.

When I get downstairs, Sirocco, Peter and Jayden are already eating. Peter informs me that we'll have four hours each with Sirocco and four hours with Peter. I can't imagine what event besides the games themselves would take eight hours to prepare for.

I start with Peter. He tells me that every tribute will play up an angle. The one I'm going to use is obvious. Weak, helpless, cowardly. We basically spend our four hours perfecting this. It is very boring, and I can't help hoping that Sirocco will help me more.

I really have to start being careful what I wish for.

The dress Sirocco puts me in is okay. I don't trip up in it, though I can imagine that many girls would. The shoes are a different story altogether. I'm six inches taller when I step into them, and it's nearly impossible to walk. When I finally manage to walk ten steps without falling, Sirocco hurries me along to posture and smiling. I don't bother mentioning that if I'm a coward, I won't need to smile very often. Peter obviously hasn't told her my strategy. He might want it to remain a secret. Eventually, Sirocco smiles at me and declares that I'm ready. I'm nowhere near ready, but if I argue, I will face more walking and teaching, so I just smile and nod.

After dinner, I go straight to bed. I toss and turn for an hour before finally deciding that as tired as I am, I won't get to sleep.

I carefully get out of bed and tiptoe to the elevator. I press the number eight. The elevator shoots up one floor and I step out gently. I approach one of the rooms and open the door. A small figure lays in the bed. "Lilac," I whisper. "Are you asleep?"

Lilac bolts upright. "Johanna," she snaps. "Do you know what time it is? You shouldn't be here!"

"So, do you want me to leave?"

"No!" she cries. She's too loud and she knows. She silently moves over so I can sit with her.

"Lilac," I whisper. "Are you nervous about the Hunger Games?"

She hesitates, then nods. "I'm not sure why, though," she mutters. "I already know that I won't win."

"Don't think like that!" I exclaim. "You don't know that for sure."

She looks at me and smiles. "Johanna, I'm twelve. I've never done anything that could help me in the arena. I have nobody to think about to motivate me." She examines me from head to toe. "When you act cowardly, it's an act. When I act that way, I'm being myself." I'm startled. Have I been that obvious?

She examines me again, her eyes serious. "You need to win," she says. "Milo, the boy from my district, is just a big brat. You have to win for me."

There's a long, awkward silence. "Do you have a district token?" she asks.

I nod. "A little necklace. I didn't even mean for it to be a token. I was just wearing it when I got here. Do you have one?" I ask.

"Yeah," says Lilac with a shrug. "It's just a little wooden ball."

After another silence, she whispers something close to my ear. "Do you promise you'll win?"

My voice catches in my throat. I want to tell her to stop being negative, but, in a way, she's right. What chance does a girl who's only twelve, who can't hold a sword, who got a two in training because she confided in me that she can't do anything, have against an eighteen-year-old boy with a mace?

"I promise," I whisper. I leave the room quickly.

The next day, Gladius, Zeus and Athena are standing over me when I wake up. I scream in shock. They're about three inches away from my face, as if I'm an interesting insect. Have the people in the Capitol never heard of personal space?

They spend the the morning doing my nails, painting them, covering my body in elaborate decorations and carefully washing my hair.

When Flora walks in, she slips a dress over my head, then makes me step into flat shoes (thank goodness). Finally, she says I can see myself.

I turn toward the mirror. I can hardly believe I thought Flora was an idiot, even though I'll probably think that again tomorrow. I'm a tree. My dress starts green at the top, fading into brown at the bottom. The shoes are a darker shade of brown. The patterns on my body show leaves that turn into bark down my arms and on my legs. I'm wearing green lipstick and green eyeshadow, along with green color contact lenses. My hair has green stripes clipped into it, which looks a little bit strange, but the spikiness makes it look like leaves. I smile. "Not bad," I say.

Flora smiles. This is probably the only compliment she has ever received. I still don't really like her, but I do wish I could get to know her better.

Sirocco, Peter, Jacob and Jayden are waiting at the elevator. Jacob is wearing a plain brown suit with green accents at the ends of the sleeves and the bottom of the pants.

We line up with the other tributes, ready to go on stage. Suddenly, Peter appears beside me and pulls me into darkness a few metres from the line. He kisses me gently on the cheek and smiles. "Good luck," he whispers before putting me back in line beside Jayden. He comes into the light looking as if nothing has happened.

I'm still tingling when I walk on stage.

I take my place in the thirteenth chair in the line on the stage. Caesar Flickerman appears. I like Caesar. He tries to help the tributes if their nervous. He's about as decent as a person can be when they've grown up in the Capitol. His lipstick, eyeshadow and hair are all yellow. Not blond, yellow. Oh well, if I keep my head down, I won't have to look at him and his creepy looks.

When the tribute from District One seats herself in front of him she flashes a smile at the audience. She must be going for a likable approach. Interesting. Caesar smiles back at her and starts right away. "So, Sunny..."

Each interview lasts three minutes. I do try to pay attention to the angles each tribute is playing up. The Careers all do great, and the girl from District Six is fierce. Suddenly, all too soon, it's my turn.

It ends up being okay. It's not that hard. All I have to do is avoid eye contact, play with the skirt of my dress and make my voice squeak.

The interviews continue. Jayden is hostile. Lilac is cute and sweet. Milo is a brat. The tributes from District Nine are insanely funny. My sides hurt by the time the girl from District Ten steps up. The boy from District Twelve is using the same strategy as Jayden. Then, it's over.

After dinner, we say farewell to Peter and Sirocco, because only Flora and Jacob will come with us to the arena itself.

Sirocco smiles, though there are tears in her eyes. She tells us how lucky she was to meet us, and that she hopes to work with one of us next year. I didn't get to know her as well as I thought I would, but a couple of tears escape my eyes, too.

Then, we must say good-bye to Peter. The tears come harder. He tells us he's proud of us. Whether or not we fight at the Cornucopia is our choice. He seems lost for words then. Jayden says good-bye then quickly leaves.

Peter looks at me. It may just be a trick of the light, but I think I can see some tears in his eyes. "You know your strategy," he says.

Then, because it's Peter, he decides to surprise me. He leans down, planting a kiss on my lips. This is much more powerful than the kiss from earlier. This is real. "I love you, Johanna," he whispers. "Please, come back."

I smile. "I won't be gone long," I whisper back.

"Remember that I love you," he mutters. I can see through the streams in my eyes that he doesn't expect me to come back. For a moment, I don't expect to come back. Then, I realize I don't have a choice. I need to survive. For Peter, for Lilac, and for me.

Surprisingly, I fall asleep almost immediately. However, I wake up at about three in the morning. Unable to fall asleep again, I creep over to Jayden's room and crack open the door.

"You couldn't sleep either?" asks Jayden from where he lays on the bed.

I shake my head and join him. After an awkward silence, I finally manage to say something. "Jayden, how many slips did you have in the reaping ball?"

He chuckles quietly. "A lot. Small wonder I got picked."

"How many?"

He sighs. "I'm eighteen. My father and mother were both injured when a tree fell the wrong way, so tesserae and odd jobs were the only way to keep us alive. I took out tesserae for myself, my mother, my father, and my six younger brothers and sisters every year." He smiles. "How many is that?"

I'm sitting with my mouth half open now. "S-seventy," I whisper.

Jayden nods.

I think about Jayden's family, about how much they need him. I think that he needs to survive as much as I do. "Jayden," I begin. "Do you want to be allies?"

To my surprise, he laughs.

"Johanna, no offense, but I want to live," he says. "You're a weak coward. Your only ally is that girl from District Eight, and that's just because she's desperate. You won't last two seconds in the arena." He turns to me, a scowl on his face. "You'd just slow me down."

I want to tell him everything. I want to tell him I'm acting. I want to tell him how strong I am. I want to tell him it's all an act, but no words come out of my mouth.

As I leave the room, Jayden shakes his head. "Pathetic," he mutters.

At dawn, Flora comes into my room, he face expressionless. She gives me a simple outfit that isn't very fashionable, then guides me to the roof, where we're picked up by a hovercraft. Once we're there, a woman injects a tracker in my arm. Then, I'm left to wait for about two hours while we fly.

When we land, Flora and I travel through underground tunnels until we get to my Launch Room, from where I will enter the arena.

I make myself look as good as I can. After all, once I'm in the arena, I may not get a chance to ever get clean. I get my outfit, the one every tribute will wear. There's some simple but comfortable black boots, black pants, dark green shirt and black jacket. Flora tells me the arena will be dark (thus the black) and cold (which explains why the clothes are so warm that I'm already sweating). She doesn't expect there to be snow, though. Finally, she gives me the small silver necklace. On it is a small green and brown swirl.

Flora and I stand close, hand in hand, in my puddle of sweat, until a voice tells us it's time to prepare for the launch.

I step onto a metal plate. Flora smiles at me. "Johanna, I look forward to seeing you again next year. Please, try your best." Great, now I have to add Flora to the list of people I need to survive for.

A glass cylinder lowers around me, and I rise into the arena.

The first thing I hear is the voice of the announcer of the Hunger Games, Claudius Templesmith. "Ladies and gentlemen, let the Sixty-eighth Hunger Games begin!"