Chapter 4:
Tony could not sleep. He tossed and turned in bed, worrying about Angela. Was he way off base, or could she possibly be pregnant? No, he told himself. No way. Angela was way too responsible for that. And she would have said something, wouldn't she? How could she not tell him, her best friend? Was she still upset about his time with Kathleen? No, no, they'd become close again after their evening at the Starlight Ballroom and they'd talked about their relationship, well sort of. Didn't she trust him? Was she scared he'd judge her?
And then he thought of the previous week and saw signs there that bothered him; she'd been late to work almost every morning looking somewhat haggard and pale. She'd stopped drinking coffee for supposed health reasons. And, then there was her bathroom garbage. One of the most disconcerting aspects of his job had been to empty her bathroom trash. Early on, he'd suggested she might want to do that herself during certain, ahem, times. She'd blushed furiously but after that, on a monthly basis, Angela emptied her own trash and put in the new liner before he got to clean in there. It was one of those awkward moments that they never spoke about again. He just preferred not to know certain things. Angela had not emptied her own trash can in a couple of months at least, he realized with a start. Back and forth he went with his musings. Why hadn't she told him? Should he confront her? Was he wrong? How could she let this happen? Is that why Andy had sworn at her and made her cry? Why the huge cheque? Was that a pay off? Child support? Over and over, until almost half the night had elapsed. Finally at about 4am, Tony drifted off into unsettled sleep, his dreams continuing to whirl with distressing thoughts.
Samantha loved Sundays. Sundays meant going home to spend time with her family and eating Dad's amazing brunch. On the drive home from the dorm, her thoughts turned to French toast, pancakes, bacon, eggs sunny side up and freshly cut fruit. With coffee of course. Lots of coffee to get her through her studying later. The statistics and mathematics course was a nightmare. She needed to go home, get a bit of TLC from dad and eat some homemade food. It was 10 am and Sam fully expected a generous brunch spread to be waiting for her, so when she let herself in through the kitchen door and saw absolutely nothing, not even coffee, the effect was discombobulating. But dad knew she was coming.
"Dad? Angela?" she called out, opening the kitchen door into the living room.
They weren't there. Instead, she found Billy and Jonathan eating bowls of cheerios in front of morning cartoons.
Jonathan looked up to see a bewildered Samantha, no doubt looking for her Sunday brunch. He was happy to see her but played it cool and just mumbled a "Hey Sam" to her. Wait for it . . . wait for it . . .
"Hi Barfbag. Hi Billy! Where are Dad and Angela? Did they go out?"
Barfbag; the nickname she'd come up for him after the Y trip to Washington when he'd thrown up on her. How many years ago was that? He looked up at her then, her creamy skin contrasting vividly with her short, dark hair and luminous eyes. She was so stunning. Samantha, his tormenter, protector, friend, former playmate, sometime confidant, sport coach, fake sister and very secret crush. Girl-of-his-dreams. If Samantha only knew some of the thoughts he had for her, she'd beat the crap out of him and he had no doubt that she still could.
"Mom and Tony haven't gotten up yet. Do you think we should wake them?" He asked her.
"Well yeah. It's past 10 and I'm starving. They never sleep in like this. Why didn't you wake them up already, worm?" She always knew how to make Jonathan feel like a loser, so he continually wanted to impress her.
"Let's get them up then. Oh hey, Sam, wanna see something?" He had the power to flabbergast her now. He found the ten thousand dollar cheque still on the foyer desk and showed it to her.
"What's that for?" she asked. "It's from Andy? He was here?" Sam was perplexed. She hoped to God that Angela wasn't involved with that guy again. She wanted Dad and Angela to get together, of course. If only Dad hadn't screwed up so badly last spring with the blonde twit.
Billy chimed in then, "Andy is the mean man. He said a bad word to Angela yesterday but I can't repeat it."
"Oh yeah, he was mean to her?" So, they're not together, she hoped. "If he swore at her, then why did he write her such a huge cheque?" That was bizarre.
"I dunno. I'm only five. What's a cheque?" Sam smiled down at Billy and gave him a quick squeeze. He really was adorable. Then she went upstairs to go wake Dad. He needed to get brunch started already.
She knocked on Tony's door. No answer. She let herself in and saw her dad still fast asleep. What if he was sick?
"Dad? Are you alright?" She went to feel his forehead but it was nice and cool. Sam's touch woke him up suddenly.
"Samantha? What are you doing here? What time is it?" He reached for his alarm clock and groaned. 10 am already?! Ugh.
"Were you out partying last night, Dad? I can't believe you slept in so late!" She admonished him, her rumbling tummy making her a bit too blunt.
"Ay-Oh. It's Sunday. I can sleep in if I want to. Sheesh. Is everybody else waiting for me? Why didn't Angela wake me?"
"'Cause she's still sleeping, Dad. I can go wake her up too." But he stopped her. "No, let her rest. She needs it right now." He'd check on her himself.
"Sam, can you get the coffee started please and scramble some eggs while you're at it. I'll get the bacon going after my shower." Sam was not particularly thrilled to be making her own brunch but obliged her dad and went back downstairs.
After his shower, Tony quickly went downstairs and found the kids in the kitchen, sort of preparing brunch. Burnt toast, rubbery looking eggs and spilled coffee awaited him. He grumbled and ordered Sam to clean up the coffee. Then he got out the bacon, nice Canadian bacon and put it to fry. He made some more eggs and threw out the congealed ones. Once he had everything sizzling nicely on the frying pan, with clear instructions on how to man it, he went upstairs to check on Angela. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he'd come to a silly conclusion and there was some other, perfectly logical explanation for everything. Yeah, that had to be it. He'd try to talk to her today, he decided. Maybe they could get out for a walk, enjoying the sunny, cool autumn day. They could grab a hot chocolate and take it to the nature reserve nearby. Perhaps the older kids would join them too, or better yet, they could watch Billy while he and Angela had some privacy. He smiled at the thought of them spending a day outdoors together, walking hand in hand through the woods, leaves crunching beneath their feet.
He lightly tapped at her bedroom door. No answer. He called her name softly. Still no answer. He opened the door a crack and peeked inside. She wasn't in bed. He walked in all the way and saw her in the open bathroom, still wet from the shower, wrapped only in a bath towel and hunched over the toilet bowl, retching. Oh. No.
She hadn't seen him. She flushed the toilet, rinsed her mouth with mouthwash and drank a glass of water. She looked upset. He was about to go to her and make sure she was alright when she suddenly dropped her towel to the floor. He stood there, transfixed and agog at the sight of her. She was checking herself sideways in the bathroom mirror, skimming her hands lightly along her slightly contoured belly. Very slightly rounded but not from fat, he realized. Her breasts were larger than he remembered or imagined them to be, with a couple of light blue veins showing through the milky skin. She was intent on examining her tummy, turning this way and that, when she saw him. She gasped but he just stood there, unsure what to do. It was obvious that she was indeed pregnant. He'd seen her nude once before and that image had become indelibly seared in his memory. Her body had changed, subtly but most definitely.
"Tony!" Horrified, Angela grabbed her towel off the floor and hastily held it in front of her, her rounded buttocks visible in the mirror behind her.
Tony for his part, wasn't sure if he should confront her now, run out of the room apologizing or just pull her towel to the floor and make love to her. The latter option would probably get him slapped, fired and lose him the most precious friendship he'd ever had. But it was certainly the most tempting. Pregnant or not, she was perfection to him and the sight of her nude body had awakened a powerful lust within him. That desire was preventing him from moving at this very moment. Angela looked at him furiously and slammed the bathroom door shut.
What the hell was he doing, spying on her like that, she fumed. Oh no, what if he had been able to tell? He'd probably been watching her in horror, she decided. He had noticed her fat belly, of course and probably seen her vomiting too. She'd probably stunned the hell out of him and he'd been too shocked to move. How was she going to face him now? Another bout of nausea hit her and she ran back to the toilet, retching. Nothing came up. How could it when she hadn't even eaten anything? Then she heard a knock at her bathroom door. Tony. "Go away, Tony!" She yelled at him. He knocked again and then announced loudly, "Cover yourself up; we need to talk, Angela. I'm coming in." He burst into the bathroom as she was standing up, desperately trying to keep her loose towel in place. He grabbed her pink bathrobe from the door hook and handed it to her, eyes closed. She hastily put it on and started in on her tirade.
"Tony, how dare you come into my room and spy on me?!" Her face was flushed with anger and embarrassment.
"Angela, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I walked in on you. I was worried about you and saw you throwing up when you just dropped your towel. I didn't mean to spy on you. We need to talk. Now!" He reached for her arm but she slapped his hand away angrily.
"I don't want to talk to you right now! Get out!" She stormed out into the bedroom and proceeded to get dressed while completely ignoring him. That would make him leave, she thought. But he stood there, looking at her, his expression a mixture of hurt and resolve.
"What, you didn't get enough of a show earlier?" she demanded as she furtively pulled on a fresh pair of panties beneath her bathrobe. "What is it Tony? Do you want to see me nude?" She angrily threw off her robe and stood in front of him clad only in white cotton undies. They stood like that, staring at each other. She was waiting for him to chicken out but he just looked at her tenderly and then gently placed his hand on her bare belly. "I know", he whispered to her. "I know, Angela and it's alright. You can talk to me. Please just talk to me", he implored. His voice broke with emotion as he looked into her eyes. She gasped and turned very pale.
"How?" she asked faintly, suddenly feeling as though her legs were going to give out on her.
"You haven't been yourself, Angela. Not at all. I put it together. What's happening? Please confide in me." He beseeched her. She was speechless, completely taken by surprise. How on earth had he figured it out? Mother? Her freak-out session yesterday? She looked down at his hand, still on her belly and her eyes started to fill with tears. He was being gentle and kind. Oh Tony. She looked into his eyes and saw no judgement, no condemnation. Only worry, concern and affection. What had she been afraid of? Of him? She realized now that her assumptions and fears were completely unfounded. He was her best friend and he really did care for her. She was suddenly overcome with a desperate need to confide in him.
She gently placed her hand over his and told him everything. She told him about Andy's brutish behaviour, and how he'd inappropriately acted as her doctor and bully. All of the angst and trauma from the summer came tumbling out of her. She couldn't stop talking, telling him all of it. Everything she'd felt about Kathleen and Andy and the horrible summer from hell. Like a boil that needed to be lanced, the negative emotions burst and she felt a cathartic release. He listened to her, never removing his hand from her belly. He cupped her face with his other hand and wiped away tears with his thumb while she unburdened herself. Then she told him about yesterday and Andy's complete relinquishment of responsibility; that he'd wanted her to get rid of the baby. He was horrified. How could Andy have treated her so badly? How could she, of all people, have put up with it? Where had he been? He felt tears in his own eyes and quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand. Guilt stabbed his heart. If he hadn't gotten together with Kathleen, none of this would have happened. It was his fault that she'd endured so much.
Angela saw his tears and wiped them away. She leaned in and softly kissed his cheek, then pressed her forehead against his. "I'm sorry I yelled at you", she whispered.
"No Angela. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm so sorry, Angela. Can you forgive me? Forgive me for betraying you? Forgive me for last summer?" He was crying now.
It was her turn to comfort him. She put her bare arms around him and pulled him close to her. She ran her hands through his hair and kissed his cheek again. They were both crying, holding each other, whispering words of regret and forgiveness to each other. "I don't blame you, Tony. I forgive you. Shhhh, it's OK." She dispensed her mercy to him and felt a fresh wave of love renewing her heart. She really did forgive him. He kissed her forehead and pressed his face into her hair, letting his tears fall into the thick, blonde tresses. He moved his hand from her belly and into her hair, gently combing it out with his fingers. She looked up at him and he moved his fingers to cup her face once again, then traced her lips with his thumb and placed a soft kiss against them. His gentle hands caressed her bare back, then moved to the gentle slopes of her hips. He pulled her against him and held her tightly, continuing to stroke her soft skin. They stayed like this for a few minutes and then pulled apart suddenly self-conscious. She abruptly crossed her arms over her bare breasts and looked down uncomfortably. Now wasn't the time for that sort of thing, she decided. He saw her discomfort and turned around to give her privacy.
The powerful moment they'd just shared signalled a permanent change in their relationship. It was a fresh start, a new beginning and the past was firmly buried in the past. Everything was forgiven and it wasn't going to haunt or hurt them again. Tony lightened the mood by telling her that brunch was ready and Sam was waiting downstairs to see her too. He chuckled when he told her that the kids had ruined the first breakfast draft but he'd fixed it. She smiled, knowing that he could fix just about anything, including her broken heart.