"How far along are you?"

Meredith looked down to her patient, a confused look on her face. "Excuse me?"

The patient laughed. "I'm an OBGYN for a small practice just outside of Seattle. I'm not shy about asking these kinds of things."

Meredith smiled as she wrote a few things down on a chart. "In that case, I'm about 5 months along."

The patient, Julia, nodded. "Is this your first?"

Meredith shook her head. "Nope. I have twins. 4 and a half years old."

Julia laughed. "Twins! And that hasn't scared you off?"

Meredith couldn't help but laugh too. "Nope."

"We need more women like you out there Dr. Shepherd," Julia said with a wink. "You're married to Dr. Derek Shepherd, aren't you?"

Meredith gave her a weird look. "Yes, I am… How… did-"

Julia cut her off. "This isn't my first brain surgery. I've had Dr. Shepherd twice already. I asked for him again, but they said he wouldn't be available until next week. And as you can see…" she said as she pointed towards her scans, "next week was risking it."

Meredith nodded. "I agree."

"But I've been assured that you're great. So I have faith in you."

Meredith smiled. "Good, I'm glad. Derek has taught me everything he knows, or so he says, so I hope that helps."

Julia smiled too. "So," she said after a few moments of silence, "Dr. Shepherd – the other one – he must be thrilled about this baby. I mean, last time I was in – what was it… 2 years ago? – he couldn't stop talking about his kids. Hmmm …. They both start with a K, am I right?"

Meredith laughed. "Yes, Kelsey and Keegan."

"The twins!" she exclaimed. "It all makes sense."

Meredith nodded, then her face filled with sadness. "I… I honestly don't know how he feels."

Julia looked at her, confusion written on her face. "What… what do you mean?"

Meredith looked at her patient, checked the time, and figured she could sit down for a few minutes. Besides, she was waiting for Julia's last test results and couldn't get her prepped until they were back.

"It's a little crazy. You sure you want to hear about it?"

Julia nodded. "Nothing better to do!"

Meredith gave her a small smile before starting.

"Derek's been in Sudan, working for Doctors Without Borders since just before I found out." Meredith couldn't help but roll her eyes when she thought about how it all started. "He was told that he would lose his job if he didn't go because of a contract he signed. He trusted the man who told him this, so didn't even look into it. Little did he know, he was being played and had he have said no, they couldn't do anything about it."

Meredith remembered the visit she had received just the week before.

*April 17th 2015*

Meredith was sitting in the cafeteria with Lexie when a man in a uniform approached them.

"Are you Dr. Meredith Shepherd?" the man asked, directing his question towards Meredith.

Meredith took a deep breath. She had a bad feeling about this.

"Yes… yes I am… How- how can I help you?"

The man kept a straight face but Meredith knew right away it was about Derek.

"Oh God, it's about my husband, isn't it?"

Lexie immediately rested a hand on her sister's lap as Meredith started to fall apart in front of her.

The cop was taken aback by Meredith's reaction.

"Is he… dead?"

The cop was quick to shake his head. "No, not at all. We are actually here to inform you that Dr. Wellington has been arrested."

Meredith was shocked. "What…?"

The cop explained that Dr. Wellington had been asked to find someone to send to Doctors Without Borders and was getting a good sum of cash if he could manage. They were having difficulties as of late to find people to go, especially in the areas that were war stricken, like Blue Nile. Dr. Wellington couldn't find anyone who'd volunteer, but needed the money because he was in debt. After having done some research, he discovered that Derek was on probation for another few years due to the contract he had signed when he had first come to Seattle Grace. He used this against Derek, illegally trapping him into signing the contract with Doctors Without Borders. He had received the money and thought he had gotten away with it.

"A few weeks ago, your husband was discussing with his fellow doctor in Blue Nile how he ended up there and the doctor, who has been with DWB for years knew that that wasn't right. He reported it to the doctor who communicates with the Doctors Without Borders headquarters and they contacted the police. Dr. Shepherd is now aware of what has happened and, since his contract is almost completed anyway, will be staying until he was supposed to. He will however receive the money that Dr. Wellington was given as a compensation for what he was forced into."

Meredith was dumbstruck. She didn't know what to say.

So she just nodded and thanked the officer quickly.

"Meredith?" Lexie asked, after the cop had left. "Are… are you okay?"

Meredith nodded slowly. "He's okay. And he's coming back. I…" She looked up at her little sister. "That's all that matters right now. Dr. Wellington will get what he deserves."

"God! That's terrible!"

Meredith returned to the present and looked over at her patient and nodded. "But as you already know, he's coming back very soon and that's all that matters right now."

Julia nodded too. "So… Have you not been able to stay in contact? You'd think they'd let you stay connected."

Meredith sighed. "We were told we'd be able to send letters. As soon as I found out I was pregnant and had my head wrapped around the idea, I wrote a letter. I found out a few days after I sent it that communications had been cut." She explained to Julia what Dr. Wellington had told her, about the war breaking out and so on. "I don't know whether the letter ever made it or not. I wanted to tell him, for him to hear it from me and there was no way I was going to get someone to pass along such a message, even if I was given the opportunity."

"I can understand. But I hope that you've had people around anyway."

Meredith smiled. "Oh, I'm definitely not lacking in support. But I kind of hate how pretty much everyone knows except for Derek."

Julia smiled. "It won't be long."

Meredith smiled back. "No, not long at all."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

*December 30th 2014*

Meredith sat in the kitchen, a hot chocolate in hand. She kept seeing the little plus sign in her head, and even in the circumstances, every time, she smiled. She and Derek had always planned on having more kids. Four was the magic number after all, but she didn't think about it actually happening. Her body had taken a lot more time to recover after Kelsey and Keegan than most bodies took, and Addison had told her there was a chance that she may never be able to get pregnant again. She encouraged Meredith and Derek to see a fertility doctor whenever they planned on trying again, just so they could know what their odds were.

It looked like for once, Addie was wrong.

"We're back!"

Meredith smiled when she watched the kids come through the doorway, red cheeks and messy hair. Kelsey and Keegan were among the large group of cousins who had spent the afternoon tobogganing in a nearby park.

"Did you guys have fun?" Meredith asked while she helped Kelsey take off her snowsuit.

Kelsey nodded excitedly. "Mommy! It was huuuuuuuge!"

Samuel laughed as he helped Keegan with his boots. "I promise Aunt Meredith, it wasn't all that huge."

Meredith laughed too. "I trust you kids. But I'm glad everyone seemed to have had fun."

The kids had all grown up so much since the first time she had met them. She had had the chance to watch Kayla, Alyssa, Daniel and Joshua, Amy's youngest, grow up since they were in Seattle, but seeing the others was almost overwhelming.

She watched as Laura and Ashley, along with Alyssa, ran off towards the door leading to the playroom downstairs. The three girls were now between the ages of 7 and 9, which was a big difference from the toddlers that had been her flower girls.

Natalie's three others were just coming in the doorway. Tessa had gone from being that cute little pre-teen to a true teenager. Ben and Lucas were now in those awkward 12 and 14 year old bodies, the age where braces and pimples were making their statements. Both boys had been lucky enough to have skin that wasn't too blotchy, but both of their smiled revealed their braces.

Samuel and Steven, who had been in that mischievous, pre-teen stage when Meredith had first met them were now 16 and from what she had heard during the weekend, were altogether amazing kids. Steven, who was outside putting away all the sleds, had been named captain of his school's football team for the 2015 fall season at the end of the season that had just ended and Samuel, who was still helping her wiggling son, was class president and planning on running for student body president in his senior year. The boys had matured so much, and out of all the cousins, they were the ones who had most stunned the aunts and uncles, and even Carolyn, with the drastic changes.

Hailey was across the room helping Celia and Joshua out of their snowsuits. The young woman was in her first year at Columbia and was proving to her family that, even though she had struggled a bit in high school, after having gotten in with the wrong crowd, she was still capable of anything she set her mind to. With her staying in New York rather than in Connecticut with Nancy and Stanley, she spent most weekends at her grandmother's and Carolyn beamed when she would talk about all the things they got to do.

Kaitlyn and Jayden, who were currently in the kitchen starting supper, had decided that past summer that they were going to go to Haiti for a year to work with a relief foundation. Both Nancy and Kathleen had been so hesitant to let them go when they had found out, but knowing that the girls would have each other helped soothe their motherly fears. As they had both completed college the year before, Kaitlyn in nutrition and Jayden in nursing, the girls wanted to live an adventure before settling down and starting their lives. Their mothers had given in and this was the first time they had seen their daughters since September. Both girls had flown in to New York just a few days before Christmas and the excitement in the Shepherd house had been crazy. They were going to be home until the end of January, then they would head back out to complete finish their contracts, which ended in June.

Carlie and Kristen, along with Lexie, were upstairs with Thomas and William, William being Andrew and Kristen's son. Andrew and Kristen had gotten married in New York the summer that Meredith and Derek had spent there and the little boy had been born that Christmas in the midst of a blizzard. The little boy had however, just days before, celebrated his first birthday with his family. Andrew was outside with the other men chopping wood for Carolyn's new woodstove, a Christmas gift from the family. Carolyn insisted every year that she didn't need anyone spending money on her, so every year the kids all pitched in on one big gift that would be truly useful rather than pointless knick knacks. That way, Carolyn was never too mad.

In a moment, the living room had gone from very quiet to overly loud. Meredith couldn't help but smile as the kids all went on about the day they had spent. Even Tessa, Samuel, Steven and Hailey, who seemed too old for such an activity, shared stories of the younger ones.

"You guys realize how great you all are, right?" Meredith said.

Hailey shrugged. "It's great to see them all so happy. If we can make them happy, that's what counts. Besides, it's fun feeling like a little kid again."

Tessa piped up. "Plus, we don't get to see everyone very often. This gives us the opportunity to spend time together, just us kids."

Meredith smiled as she watched them all.

"20 grandchildren and 1 great grandson. That tends to fill a woman's house. And her heart."

Meredith looked over her to Carolyn, who stood behind her, watching the scene unfold.

"I didn't even realize you guys were back."

Carolyn laughed. "We came in through the garage when we saw that there was no way we were getting in the front door. Not with all these guys scrambling around."

Kelsey was finally freed from her snowsuit and rushed towards the stairs, the same direction all the other kids seemed to have had taken.

Before they knew it, the living room had emptied out once again and it was only Meredith and Carolyn.

"Where did all the girls go?"

Carolyn smiled. "They went to help Jayden and Kaitlin. Cooking for nearly 35 people at once can prove to be an exhausting task."

Meredith nodded. "So I have come to learn. I should probably make myself useful and go help."

Before Meredith had a chance to leave, Carolyn grabbed her gently by the wrist. "So…?"

Meredith smiled and nodded.

Carolyn's face beamed. "Congratulations Meredith! This is so exciting!"

Meredith nodded again. "I know! I just wish I could share this moment with Derek…"

Carolyn sighed. "I know. I wish I could have spotted it earlier. I just – "

Meredith cut her off. "You need to stop badgering yourself. I'm the one who's been pregnant all this time. I should have figured it out earlier. You're in no way to blame for the bad timing."

Carolyn nodded. "Okay okay." She paused before continuing. "Are you going to tell the girls?"

Meredith shook her head. "I want to tell Derek first. It should only take about a week for me to get a letter to him and another week for me to get his reply. I'll start telling people after I know Derek knows."

Carolyn squeezed her hand. "I think that sounds like a good plan."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

*January 13th 2015*

"Meredith! Meredith, are you okay?"

Meredith stood in Addison's office, shaking from the news she had just received about the current situation in Sudan. She was scared as hell, and she hated not knowing anything. Her blood was pumping and her heart was racing. That's why she had come straight to Addie.

"Addie… I…" She took a deep breath. "I hate doing this to Derek, again, but I need you to know…"

Addison got up from behind her desk. "Meredith…?"

Meredith swiped at the tears that had started falling. "Pregnancy number two and once again you get to hear about it before him."

Addison had immediately wrapped Meredith in her arms. "Oh hun. What's going on?"

Meredith had explained what Dr. Wellington had told her just earlier that day. She then explained that she had sent a letter to Derek about the pregnancy, having found out thanks to Carolyn, but that she had no idea whether Derek had gotten the letter or not since the communication was now down.

"So I have no idea if he's even okay, let alone whether he got the news."

Addie just took Meredith's hands in her own. "I really don't know what to tell you, other than I really think we should get you checked out. You may not be able to control the situation Derek is in, but this situation you can, and we will, okay?"

Meredith nodded slowly, and soon enough they were heading towards the maternity ward where Addison would make sure everything was alright.

"Everything looks good and on track Meredith," Addison said with a small smile when she got a look at the ultrasound. "Do you want to hear the heartbeat?"

Meredith nodded.

She may have already been through this once before, but the sound was still amazing.

"I honestly didn't think I'd get to go through this again," Meredith admitted, knowing Addie understood what she meant.

Addie shook her head. "Me neither. But I'm glad that I was wrong about this."

Meredith revealed a small smiled. "Me too."

Addie rested her hand on her shoulder. "Derek is going to be thrilled when he finds out, and he will find out sooner or later. That's what truly matters."

Meredith nodded. "I guess."

Addie gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Have you talked to anyone yet, other than me and Carolyn?"

Meredith shook her head. "No. I was waiting to hear from Derek, but now…"

Addie sighed. "I know you want Derek to be the first one to know, but you're going to need people Meredith and I know it's hard to accept this, but Derek can't be there right now. I will be there for you no matter what, and Carolyn too, but you need to at least tell your people. Talk to Lexie and Cristina, if only them. Miranda's always a good choice too. Meredith…"

Meredith took a deep breath. "I'll tell them all. Today. I promise Addie. As much as I wish Derek could be the first to know – and I do hope he got my letter, at least – I know that that's not possible right now and I won't let that drag me down. I'm going to talk to Lexie and Cristina today. They'll be there for me, I know they will."

And with that, Addie sent her on her way, just hoping Meredith would be okay this time around.

In the meantime, Meredith made her way to the nurse's station where she found her sister looking at her charts.

"Meredith! God, I heard about what's going on, with the break in communication. Is it affecting Derek?"

Meredith nodded and all the nurses listened close. "I can't send him letters anymore. I'll get a bi-weekly update of his status through the association, but that's about it. I…" She thought about what she was about to ask. "Is Mark in the chief's office?"

Lexie scrunched up her eyebrows, but nodded. "He should be… why?"

"I… I think I should give him an update. Care to join me?"

Lexie saw the look in Meredith's eye and knew that her sister wanted her to follow.

"I guess I could spare you a few minutes of my time."

Meredith smiled in appreciation. She really did have the best sister ever.

It wasn't long before both Meredith and Lexie were standing in Mark's office.

"Meredith," Mark said, wrapping his sister-in-law in his arms. "I'm so sorry."

Meredith nodded into his chest. "Thank you, for being there."

Mark pulled away, but keeping Meredith close. "Anytime, for anything at all. You know we're never far and always available to help out with anything."

Meredith nodded and hesitated before speaking up, but she remembered what Addie had told her. "There's actually something else I wanted to talk to you guys about…"

Lexie right away saw the look in her sister's eye. "What's wrong Mer?"

Meredith shook her head. "Nothing wrong, not really… Other than the fact that you guys get to hear this before Derek does, because of the circumstances, which have screwed everything up it seems, but I need to talk to someone and Addie said –"

At the name Addie, Mark and Lexie both reacted, Lexie by covering her mouth and Mark by going wide eyed.

At the same time, they both exclaimed what Meredith was trying to get across to them. "You're pregnant!"

Meredith smiled and nodded. "I am."

They both brought her in for another hug, giving her a pat on the back and making Meredith smile even more. Just knowing she had people made things so much easier.

"This is great news Meredith!" Lexie said, not able to wipe the smile from her face. "You and Derek always said you wanted more kids. The timing might be a little off, but –"

Meredith cut her off. "It's still the greatest gift of all. We weren't sure if I'd ever be able to get pregnant again, not after the twins and the mess they made of my body."

Mark just kept smiling. "Carolyn is going to be thrilled about the news of more babies."

Meredith laughed. "Baby. Singular. There better not be more than one this time." They all laughed. "And Carolyn already knows. She's the one who brought me the pregnancy test."

Lexie seemed shocked. "You've known since New York?"

Meredith nodded. "I have. I didn't say anything because I wanted Derek to know first, but with today's news…"

They both nodded. They understood.

And that's all Meredith could ask for.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

That same day, later on in the evening, Meredith found herself cuddled up next to her person in Cristina and Jackson's bed. The three kids were asleep in Jessica's room and Jackson had the night shift, leaving the women to themselves.

"I see Jessica has been feeling more like herself lately."

Cristina nodded. "The poor thing hadn't been feeling well since the New Year. I'm just glad she got over this fever. I was starting to worry, but Jackson insisted she was fine… I just…"

Meredith laughed. "The incredible Dr. Yang, cardiothoracic God, is, deep down, just another Mom. A mom who worries about colds, flus, scratches, cuts, fevers and everything else."

Cristina shook her head and laughed. "God, who have I become?"

Meredith smiled and rested her hand on her person's shoulder. "You're the incredible person we all knew was hiding behind that incredibly mean, bitchy, snotty, arrogant surgeon."

Cristina nodded, and while laughing. "I guess you're right. And I guess I deserved that."

Meredith nodded in agreement. "That you did."

Cristina hopped out of the bed, calling out "ice cream?" over her shoulder. She didn't even wait for an answer from Meredith. She knew it was pointless. Meredith never refused ice cream.

But when she came back with the tub and two spoons, the only thing Meredith noticed was the name of the flavor scribbled across the container.

"Cotton Candy? Seriously?"

Cristina shrugged. "A random craving."

Meredith laughed. "The last time you had cravings for Cotton Candy ice cream was when you were pregnant with Jessica." She suddenly stopped laughing.

Cristina smiled and nodded at the unasked question in Meredith's eyes.

"Cristina! Congratulations! This is incredible!"

They shared a hug, and when they pulled away, Cristina was still beaming.

"Jackson was thrilled when he found out. He's praying for a boy this time around."

Meredith shook her head and laughed. "He can't handle being outnumbered by women."

They both laughed.

"So when are you due?" Meredith asked, not able to wrap her head around the news. This was going to be an interesting few months for everyone in their lives.

"Beginning of September. People have already warmed me that my summer is going to hell, being that pregnant during the hottest months of the year."

Meredith laughed. "I'm sure I'll be able to relate. I'm due around the same time."

Cristina went slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

Meredith just laughed. "Surprise!"

It was Cristina's turn to wrap Meredith in her arms and wish her a congratulations.

After they had settled down from all the excitement, Cristina couldn't help but laugh.

"What is it?"

Cristina smiled. "I'm just thinking about all the poor souls who are going to have to deal with the both of our pregnant asses.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Izzie!"

Izzie looked over and smiled when she spotted Meredith, Cristina and Alex sitting at one of the tables in the back of the cafeteria. Cristina and Meredith looked absolutely ridiculous with their party and hats, and Alex just wore a big grin. She knew exactly what was going on.

"Guys…"

Alex pulled out a party noisemaker and the three of them burst out laughing.

"Seriously guys, you don't need to do this…" Izzie said, but she couldn't contain the smile.

"Izzie!" Meredith argued. "You passed your boards! That's a pretty big reason to celebrate."

"Plus," Cristina added, "you've got two pregnant women who would find any excuse possible to get their hands on cake."

All four of them laughed as Izzie took a seat, noticing for the first time the little cake that sat in the middle of the table.

"You may have had a rough road," Alex said, "but you've made it to the finish line with the rest of us. That's what counts. Welcome to the big leagues my dear."

A lot of flashbacks in this one, but I hope everyone was able to follow... I know it can sometimes be confusing, but I'm going to try and make them easier to follow... It's a tough structure to write too, but I'm enjoying it and I hope you guys are too! Sorry for the lack of updates. Mono. Bleh.

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