Chapter Four ~ A World Apart

October 15, 2011

He could almost see her face. He wanted to so badly, he was trying so hard to move closer. But the air was hazy and thick. Greyness obscured her features; they wouldn't come into focus. Still, he knew it was her. A feeling of danger arose within him as the haze grew yellow, orange, red, and hot. He tried to reach for her, but bright flames cut him off in a roar. In the light, her eyes suddenly captured him, crystal clear. They called to him, pulled at him, desperate. He tried to reach out again, but he was sucked backwards. She faded until the flames swallowed her completely and all sense of her had vanished. Heat and flames and he was alone.

Michael Vaughn jolted off his pillow, covered in sweat. Resting back on his elbows, he glanced to his right at the woman lying next to him. He heaved a sigh of relief, she wasn't awake. Carefully swinging his feet around to the floor, he braced his hands on his knees and took a few deep breaths. The clock read 2:47 AM.

He hadn't had a single nightmare about Sydney in three years. But now that he had, he wondered at how it could have possibly had taken him by surprise. Sighing, he took another look behind him at the woman's dark red hair fanned out on her pillow before standing up and going to the bathroom. He shut the door quietly and turned the sink on to splash some water on his face.

Natalie Paterson was an amazing woman and he'd come to love her deeply, but she would never be able to replace Sydney. And she'd never tried too. She'd stayed and helped him through a lot the nightmares when they first began seeing each other and he'd always feel a little guilty about it. But there was no doubt in his mind that Nat had come into his life at just the right time, in just the right way. He would be forever grateful it was their connection that had finally helped him find some peace and joy in his personal life again.

Staring himself down in the mirror, a bead of water hanging off the end of his nose, he thought about the ring burning a figurative hole in his dresser drawer. Vaughn had finally stopped just thinking about proposing to her and bought it two days ago. He had hidden it there, waiting for the weekend. Tomorrow evening he had a restaurant reservation and a couple other plans ready because he wanted to do the event justice. Nat deserved nothing but the best.

And now here he was, unwillingly flooded with memories of the years he'd refused to believe his first real love was gone, deluding himself following one barely feasible lead after another until he'd almost gone crazy. Holing up in his apartment just to stay in some level of intoxication or another, talking to Sydney like she was still there until she answered back. Jack Bristow had been the one to literally knock him to his senses. It had been slow and gradual, but he'd finally moved through the crippling grief and begun to live again.

In a way, it was simply bittersweet to get a reminder of all Sydney had meant to him. He smiled to let himself remember what she'd been like. She had always wanted the best for him, and he thought she would be glad for him if she could know what he'd gone through and see him now. True, Natalie's presence in LA had been partly because the CIA had needed to fill out the team again, but he felt sure if they had somehow been able to meet while Sydney was still around, the two women would have been friends.

He thought about how he'd resented Natalie and the other agent, Adam Mendoza, sent to supposedly fill Sydney's shoes the day she was officially declared her dead. He'd been so cold and shut down when dealing with them, and simply avoided them as often as he could get away with it.

The bed softly rustled, jolting him out of his thoughts and prompting him to hurriedly grab a towel, pat his face dry, shut off the light and return. He slowly slid back under the covers and lay there watching Natalie for a few moments, her face now turned towards him. It was a delicate face, so precious to him since he couldn't exactly remember when. Sydney had been the burst of fresh air and heart stopping light, Natalie was the bloom of a thousand tiny moments.

He decided not worry her with knowledge that the past had snuck up to haunt him for a few moments during the emotionally charged hours leading up to the biggest question he'd ever ask in his life. He was calm again now, seeing her smile in her sleep as he gently pulled a strand of hair away from being stuck to her cheek. It put the image of Sydney's eyes fully out of his mind and he fell back asleep peacefully, one arm around his future.

The buzz of a vibrating cell phone broke into their consciousness in the mid morning light. Vaughn tried to ignore it and tucked Natalie closer into his body.

She made a disgruntled sound and groggily protested, "Why do you never turn your phone off?"

He tried to distract her by nuzzling his face into her neck, but she twisted and reached a hand up to lightly smack him on the forehead while the rattle continued.

"Michael!"

He sighed, flopped over onto his back and threw out a fumbling hand to grab the noisy object. Glancing at the caller ID, he grimaced. As he'd feared, it was work. As one of the most senior CIA officers the LA branch had these days, being able to ignore calls and take a full weekend off was really just a theory.

He cleared his throat, "Hello."

"Agent Vaughn?"

"Yes."

"We've just received some intel that you'll want to see right away."

"You can't tell me now?"

"Director Kendall just ordered that you be contacted immediately. He said if you were reluctant, to tell you it's regarding Red Falcon."

That woke him up.

"I'll be right there."

He hung up and looked over at Natalie. She was watching him with her serious blue eyes and a slight frown. Sighing again, he cupped the side of her face and gave her a soft kiss.

"Something is happening with Jack, I have to go in. But I want you to know… I made a reservation for dinner tonight at 7, I promise I'll be back in plenty of time to make it. Dress up."

A delighted smile lit up her face and she leaned in for another kiss, "Really? It's been awhile since we've out somewhere nice."

"My thoughts exactly." Vaughn finally broke off the ensuing kissing and tore himself out of the bed with a regretful look. Natalie laughed as he did.

"At least I get to go back to sleep and you needed to brush your teeth anyway!" she called to his retreating back.

~to be continued~