I really need a helper with ideas and proofing
also... thnx to my first reviwer BellsNGems thank you so much
and to BellsNGems and Twiligth-Vamp for being my first alerters
u guys rock
this is my first fanfic EVER
i do not own these rights... they belong to the brilliant Stephanie Meyer
Anxiety:
As the days lessened until my arrival, I could feel my heart beat faster and faster. My parents called it my arrival, I called it my departure. I could feel the tension in the air and my father, although now well fed, was still a little edgy. The funny thing was that Alice was too. Alice was always calm and energetic. But recently she had been putting that on as a show and it was always easy to see through her. Her hair was less spiky and her personality less spunky. She seemed always around my dad and when I walked into a room they immediately stopped talking and both put on false smiles. It was that feeling that I had walked in on something bad and it was about me so normally I left to hide my burning cheeks, but today I felt more annoyed, so I stayed in order to bother them. They kept throwing glances at me talking with their eyes. They were telling me to get out, but naturally as a teenager, I denied them and kept my eyes glued to the wall. I could hear them whispering, something about you tell her. I used my vampire skills to stay as still as a stone. I must have stayed that way for five minutes before I felt the weight on the other end of the couch. It was my father.
"Ness," he began " I understand how you might not want me to talk to you right now. I know I have been a complete arse, but you have to understand, there are things brewing, things even neither Carlisle nor I understand. I heard something, something that was almost inaudible. It sounded like a far off thought. One that hadn't been heard by even the thinker. It will become clearer, but for the mean time all I heard was, kill, kill, the filthy half-breed must die. It sounded as form an older voice. I would have shaken it off, but Alice saw a similar vision. She said she saw a person standing over your bloodied body and Jacob was dead. Between these two things, I haven't been myself." At the end of his speech, he relaxed. I could feel his body relieve of all the pent up tension he had been collecting. Mom came in then and there was a look of pain in her eyes that as her daughter, even I felt.
"How could you tell her, she's only a child" my mother began
"Mom, I'm fine," I lied, really on the inside I felt as though my heart would pound through my chest. I wasn't worried about me, but Jacob dead?!. That was the final blow. Of course my father read my mind and felt my pain.
"Ness, it was only a vision," I could feel him speaking hesitantly; as though he knew he was telling me a lie. I looked into his face and immediately saw why my mother had fallen for him. He was a god and I was a peasant. He smiled when he rheard me think this. He knew my love an daffection to him was a normal relasionship and there was nothing weird going on, but I still had my thoughts on how I thought of my father. It didn't seem normal; but then again, nothing in my life was.
Now I was scared. High school, death and destruction all in the same 72 hours. God, did they ever take a break with the bad news. My life just went from being perfect, to being a living hell.
My stomach was turning and I was tossing. It was the night before school and I could hear Jacob in the bed next to me. I had been able to convince mom to let me have my dad's old room in the Cullen house. This gave me my own sanctuary and mom and dad their own house. I felt a connection to this room. It was my fathers when he started high school here and now it would hold the same for me. Jacob sleeping in the same room was a harder argument to win. Jacob could sleep through anything. This anxiety about starting a new school didn't even bother him. He was snoring like a chain saw and that wasn't helping my sleeping either. I drifted between fear of school and fear of my future. I suddenly understood the reason dad hated words like forever and eternity. They loomed in front of me. Mocking me and full of distain. Everything I had felt before with Jacob now suddenly vanished. The safety and promise I once felt now felt cold. All of a sudden my anxiety overwhelmed me and I couldn't breathe. My lungs wouldn't work and my head started swimming. I tried to call out, but my mouth couldn't function. Soon I was being pulled into an abyss. I couldn't think and couldn't breathe. I was falling… falling …falling into a spiral of my anxiety before everything went black and the last thing I heard was my own scream that sounded distant and detached. This was what Alice had seen; Jacob wasn't dead, just sleeping. I was certain this was it. This was death.
please people i see u reading this and alerting me and favorting me, it feels great, but please review, i need the advice, if anyone had any ideas or wants feel free...
i just like, no, need reviews, they are the closest thing to actually meeting the cullens lol