I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright for once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside
Song "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson
Harry woke up the next day with a feeling like his head had been cracked in two.
I am never drinking again, he cursed silently to himself as he picked up his shirt off the ground.
Why was his shirt off? He wondered before hitting himself on the back of the head remembering Ginny. With his eyes watering he headed out the door to find her and apologize.
"Morning," he grunted at Ron who sat at the breakfast table looking as if he didn't know how he got there.
Ron's face went from white to green at the site of scrambled eggs and pancakes.
"I think I'm going to be sick," he whispered to Harry who was buttering a large piece of toast.
Ginny who had just appeared in the doorway took one look at Harry and headed back out with her nose held high. Harry dropped the toast and knife with a load crack causing Ron to hit him on the shoulder.
"Watch the noise level will ya?" He glared angrily at Harry.
Harry had no memory of what had happened after Ginny and him kissed. He remembered feeling how soft her skin was against his, enjoying the enthusiasm of kissing her -
"Morning boys," sprouted Mr Weasley opening the Daily Prophet.
Harry's jaw fell open. He remembered calling out Caitlin's name in the middle of their snogging. He had looked at the paper and seen her smiling face. Why oh why had he done that? Why didn't he just keep his mouth shut?
"Morning Mr Weasley," said a chirping Hermione done the stairs as she resumed her usual spot next to Harry.
"What are you so cheerful?" Snapped Ron lowly. "You drank just as much as the rest of us."
"Just put a bit of this in your juice," she said thrusting a vile of clear liquid at them.
Harry gratefully accepted the potion, and, within a matter of moments, found himself as cheerful as Hermione.
Ginny kept herself scarce the next few weeks around Harry. She somehow timed to show up to dinner just as he was leaving or was off doing homework when the rest of them were stuck cleaning the attic.
Harry decided to confine in Hermione after the twelfth time Ginny failed to meet his gaze.
"I just don't know what to do," Harry sighed, running his hands through his hair.
"Well, you embarrassed her," Hermione said cooly.
"It wasn't me - it was the fire whiskey!" Snapped Harry as he threw another moth ball eaten curtain into the hallway.
"I know Harry, don't you think I wish I could take back what I said too?" She averted her gaze.
Harry remembered her Krum confession. "Do you regret it?"
"I - no, I thought I loved him. I still think I might," she said brushing away tears from her eyes. "It doesn't matter, he's been writing me all summer, I just can't bring myself to open them."
"If you like someone you shouldn't have to hide it," Harry said petting Hermione on the shoulder reassuringly.
"Are you going to tell this Caitlin girl when we get back to Hogwarts then?" She said smiling at him.
"I- erm -" Harry began.
"Harry! Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with you," called Mrs Weasley from down the stairs.
"With me?" He said looking bewildered.
"Don't keep him waiting, come on!" Hissed Hermione pushing him down the stairs.
Harry met Dumbledore in the library. They were alone with the curtains drawn tightly around to conceal any outside light. Dumbledore had his back to him and when he heard Harry enter he drew his wand to shut the doors behind him.
"Good evening Harry," Dumbledore spoke softly and turned around gently keeping his hands behind his back.
"Hi, professor, what can I do for you?" Harry said nervously.
Dumbledore slowly moved closer to him. Harry could see there were bags under his eyes from nights without sleep. He knew Dumbledore must be close to 100, but he never appeared so - so - old to him before now.
"Harry I must ask something of you this term," Dumbledore said pulling two chairs forward for them to sit.
Waving his wand he called toward two bottles of butterbeer towards the pair. Harry caught his in the air but Dumbledore waiting for it to gently hit the table, ignoring it.
Harry nervously opened his bottle and drank a few sips before answering. "Anything professor."
Dumbledore smiled. "You really are a kind lad Harry."
Dumbledore reached to open his bottle, a pained look on his face. Harry saw his right arm was scarred and burned from elbow to tip. He took the bottle and opened it for him before wordlessly offering it yet again to the professor.
"Ah, thank you Harry," said Dumbledore gratefully.
"Sir, what happened?"
"A thrilling tale that deserves justice to tell I assure you," said Dumbledore sipping his butterbeer absentmindedly. "Now Harry, onto business. I would be honored if you would take private lessons with me through our the term. It appears Professor Snape seems, ehm, unwilling to teach you occulumency this term."
Harry shuttered at the memory of Snape's greasy hair pulling him from the pensive. It wasn't a memory he cared to relieve either. "I'd be honored, Professor."
Dumbledore placed down his mug and appeared looking over him, his twinkling blue eyes sparkled. "Are you still having dreams of Voldemort, Harry?"
"No," He said a bit to quickly.
"It would be wise of you to block these from your mind," he said softly.
"But if they help the Order, isn't that worth the risk?" Harry asked eagerly. "A few weeks ago I saw Remus in a shack, if I can help keep an eye on the Order isn't that -"
"What was Remus doing in the shack?" Dumbledore asked interrupting Harry's ramblings.
"He was sleeping on a chair, someone was asleep in a bed next to him," Harry said trying to remember.
"You are in a vulnerable time Harry," Dumbledore said standing up. "It is best to close your mind to such thoughts. Hogwarts will be more crowded this year than ever before. It is imperative you do not go looking for danger like you did last spring."
Harry hung his head shamefully but Dumbledore continued towards the door.
"Well of course you shouldn't go looking for trouble," Hermione said doubtfully, throwing the last of her spell books into her overcrowded suitcase.
"I never go looking for trouble," Harry said exasperated. "Trouble usually finds me!"
Ron snorted, barely dodging the large copy of Famous Wizard Family and Heirs Hermione chunked at him.
"Oy! That hurt!"
It was August 31, and the last day before heading back to Hogwarts. Tensions were running high throughout the household. Remus has barely stopped by for more than a few minutes in the coming weeks, and Harry, with no alone time, was unable to ask if Caitlin has enjoyed his birthday gift. Mrs Weasley was busy fussing whether everyone had snacks for the trip and Sirius became more and more difficult to hunt down.
After a full supper of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, Harry headed up to see if he could hunt down his godfather for one last good bye.
"You alright Sirius?" Harry said, knocking while opening the bedroom door.
Sirius was sitting on the floor next to the fire place, holding his hands to his chest. His health had improved drastically since the attack in June, but sitting there now he looked almost delicate to Harry in a way he couldn't yet describe.
"Just thinking," Sirius said standing, wincing slightly. Harry picked him up and helped carry him to the bed gently. "You'll be gone tomorrow."
"Erm, yeah I suppose," Harry said lifting the blanket.
Sirius smiled. "You're almost a man Harry. I so wish I could have done more to help raise you."
Harry looked down nervously at the ground. "You did what you could. Can't help what happened."
Sirius sighed. "Seeing the way the Dursley's raised you...I feel as if I failed James. I couldn't protect you...it was my job, my duty, and I failed him again."
Harry sat on the edge of the bed. "Come now Sirius, you didn't."
Sirius turned and looked Harry deep in the eyes. "You must promise me to be safe this year. Look out for yourself. I know Remus would ask you to look out for Caitlin too but...protect yourself first."
Harry's cheeks reddened at the talk of Caitlin. Sirius chuckled and closed his eyes. "Besotted already?"
"I-eh-we-" Harry started but Sirius was already fast asleep in his bed.
"Best not wake him Harry," said Remus from the door behind him.
Harry stood quietly and backed to the hallway following Remus.
Remus smiled closing the door softly before turning to face Harry. "Everything alright?"
Harry nodded.
Remus turned to head down the stairs. "Best get some rest Harry. You got a long day tomorrow."
"Remus did -" Harry started, wondering if Remus had heard what Sirius had said about Caitlin.
Remus continued down the stairs. "She said thank you for the snitch. And that she can't wait to see you tomorrow."
Harry went to bed imagining Caitlin's face lighting up like a Christmas tree at the sight of him tomorrow. Seeing her blue eyes dance...he yawned at the thought of hearing her laugh.
Maybe, he thought, we can play that quidditch game the first week of term.
"Harry? HARRY! Wake up we're running late!" Hermione yelled from down the stairs.
Harry threw on his clothes from the night before. He was halfway out the door when he ran head first into none other than Ginny.
"Hi," he said awkwardly.
Ginny glared at him but said nothing.
"Listen," he said quietly grabbing her arm and guiding her towards his room, "we need to talk."
"There's nothing to talk about," she snapped angrily pulling away.
"I owe you an apology," he said.
"Oh yeah?" Ginny said, her brown eyes filling with tears. "For making out with me or for calling me Caitlin?"
Harry flinched at her hatred spat. He know he deserved it. "Both I suppose. Listen Ginny, you're like a little sister to me. I can't...I can't like you like that."
Ginny rushed to the door. Before leaving she turned to him and bitterly said, "I hope this Caitlin girl is worth it. I would have given you everything."
Harry stood sadly watching her leave, hoping he didn't just make a gigantic mistake.
At 10:58 the Weasley's, Harry and Hermione rushes on to the Hogwarts express.
"Barely made it!" Hermione said clinching a stitch at her side.
Ginny abandoned them immediately after boarding, leaving the trio to find a place to sit alone. Harry noted that the compartments seemed larger than last year, with nearly half as many stranger students of every age and ethnicity aboard.
"Remus wasn't kidding, every witch and wizard is trying to flee You-Know-Who," Ron said quietly to Harry.
Harry's stomach knot turned to butterflies at the thought of seeing Caitlin again. She had to be here - somewhere.
"Here's an empty compartment," Hermione said, calling from down the train.
"Let's keeping looking," Harry said walking up to her. "I need to find - Caitlin?"
Harry stuck his head in the compartment and was immediately greeted by a warm smile. Caitlin sat in a plain Hogwarts uniform by the window of the train. Her hair hung straight down with a simple curl. Harry felt as if his stomach was about to explode from happiness.
"Hi Harry," she said smiling at him.
"You - you made it," he said, staring.
Caitlin giggled. "Because of Remus I was here 3 hours early. Please, sit."
Harry helped Hermione load her trunk above the compartment, eyes unmoving from Caitlin's as she folded her bookmark into a large dusty book.
"Is that A History of Magic?" Hermione said cautiously breaking the silence.
Caitlin nodded embarrassed. "I know it's a bit silly, but I wanted to be extra prepared for Hogwarts."
"No! No not at all," Hermione said, obviously excited to add another avid reader to the group. "You would also enjoy -"
Hermione rattled on while Harry continued to stare amazed at Caitlin. She was here, actually here. It wasn't just a dream...
His eyes traveled to her neck. As well as her silver moon necklace laid a golden snitch on a silver chain.
"I meant to tell you thank you for it Harry," Caitlin said smiling catching his eye. "At first I thought it was just a snitch and then it flew up and turned into a necklace around my neck."
"I erm, didn't know it would do that," Harry said blushing.
"Is anyone going to help me with the rest of these damn bags?" Said Ron from outside the cabin, huffing angrily. "I bloody had to run over Luna Loveg- hello there."
Ron's voice turned from his usual whiney tone to a milky smooth, a tone of which could only be applicable to Caitlin who he stared hungrily at.
Harry was jealously reminded of how he had stared at her before in her picture in the Daily Prophet. Ron pushed Harry aside and went to kiss her hand politely.
He's just being funny, he told himself as he watched Caitlin laugh, he's just being Ron.
"Ron Weasley at your service," he said winking at her. "If there's ever...anything I can do for you Ms-"
"Ah there you are Caitlin. We have been looking all over for you," Harry turned towards the door way.
It was as if a dementor had walked through the doorway. Draco Malfoy and his band of goons stared at them, filling the only exit.
Harry's eyes narrowed angrily. "You're not welcome here Malfoy. Leave."
Malfoy swaggered inwards, placing a seat almost too close to Caitlin. Harry and Ron glared.
"Get. Away. From. Her." Harry said cracking his knuckles before reaching for his wand.
"None of that Potter, not unless you want trouble," Malfoy wiggled his finger knowingly at them with his left hand. With his right he placed greedily on Caitlin's knee.
She shriveled at his touch. "Who are you? What do you want?"
Malfoy laughed. "Malfoy my dear. And it's not about who I am but more of who you are. Tell me, Potter, do you know what school Ms Caitlin here transferred from?"
"Of course I -" Harry started before stopping. Caitlin's eyes shot down at the ground. He realized he had never even thought to ask.
"Durmstang," Malfoy said triumphantly.
"So what? It doesn't matter. Leave, Malfoy, NOW."
Harry's voice grew dangerous with every passing moment.
"Harry..." Caitlin started, her voice sounded soft, almost mouselike.
"And do you know what her last name so happens to be?" Malfoy said again, grabbing once again at Caitlin's knee. "Go ahead sweetheart, tell them. I won't spoil the surprise."
Caitlin didn't pull away. Her face was white with fear.
"Remus said it wouldn't matter. If you knew who I really was it wouldn't matter," Caitlin whispered horrified.
"Who are you?" Harry said staring worried at her vacant stare.
She took a deep breath. "My name is Caitlin. Caitlin Riddle."
There was a lurch on the train yet no one spoke. Malfoy finally broke the silence with a triumphant laugh.
Harry felt a rage boil inside of him that he could no longer hide. "Get. Out."
Malfoy turned and walked towards the door. He turned at the last second and held his hand out for Caitlin expectedly.
"Harry...let me explain," she said in tears.
Harry refused to look at her. "You too Caitlin. Get out."
"Harry, please," she said, reaching for him. "Don't make me go with him."
Harry pulled away from her as if she were a venomous snake.
"Grab her trunks Goyle, she'll be joining us in our carriage shortly," Draco said, obviously pleased with himself.
"Harry...please don't do this. You know me, you should know I'm not a monster like him," Caitlin said standing reaching for Harry's face.
Harry pulled her away from her touch once again. Meeting her eyes he said simply, "Are you related to Tom Riddle?"
She nodded as tears continued to run down her cheek.
"Then from this day forward, you are my enemy." He said shaking away her towards Malfoy. "We will never be friends. We will never speak again."
Hermione and Ron stared mouth hanging open as Harry took Caitlin's spot by the window staring out at the clouds of smoke.
In the reflection he watched Caitlin stare at him one last time, as if trying to find the words she needed to say. She reached out once more for him before sadly closing her hand down at her side. In the reflection Harry watched Malfoy wrap his arms around a crying Caitlin and lead her to the opposite side of the train.