Demon's Imminence

by Skullfrost

When Ciel runs into the the lone, smartest detective in the world known as L, his life- and the lives of many others, take a sharp turn from the path that their lives could have been. What is it like, living with a dead man, who has returned as a god of death, along with an entire mansion filled with supernaturals? It can get... hectic.

4. Bribery

Chapter 4

"...What the hell happened? Why am I out here?"

"Mr. Sutcliff, you were drunk. Enough said." L had found her body and had buried it.

She hung herself and burned herself at the same time. Just like Beyond Birthday.

His eyes were heavy as he stared at the shinigami. L was sitting atop a marble pillar, and was fiddling with something: Naomi's locket.

Even he was not above stealing for personal enjoyment.

A very pissed look then crossed Grell's face. "That little lowlife son of a fucking-INSERT NUMEROUS CURSES AND INSULTS HERE-!"

"Calm down, Mr. Sutcliff; we have class rather soon." L continued fiddling with the locket, his heart heavy and cold. "Mr. Sebastian threw you out of the window, which is why you are where you are."

Grell groaned in annoyance and pressed a hand to his face. "I hate my coworkers. I swear, when I get my hands on that damn ass that spiked my food, I'm going to cut off his head."

"No, you're not, because if you do I will personally step in," L replied somewhat bitterly. "You need to mature, Mr. Sutcliff. Come along now; class is starting, and you're the teacher."

And with that, he put the locket around his own neck, shoving it beneath his white shirt before disappearing to the shinigami realm.

Grell huffed and followed after the other shinigami, poofing into the classroom with an annoyed look on his face. Other students were also already there, since what classroom only has one student?

"Ugh, where the hell is Will?" the redhead huffed as he gazed around the room, not catching sight of the other shinigami that tended to help him with class. "Damn, looks like I'll be teaching this bunch of children on my own.."

"Children?" Lawliet frowned, kicking off his sneakers and putting his bare feet up on his desk's rim. "If we're children, Mr. Sutcliff, then why do you use such profanities around us? Please, save us our innocence!" His sarcastic remarks were rather loud.

The other students snickered at that comment, shit-eating grins on most of their faces.

Grell merely glared at all of them, eye twitching. "L, feet /down/ before I come over there and chop them off."

L groaned. "Mr. Sutcliff, I don't sit like this because I want to, I have to sit like this. If I were to sit normally, my deductive reasoning skills would drop by roughly 40%. Also... you know to call me 'Ryuzaki' in public."

Grell stared at L with a deadpan expression. He was not buying it. "...Whatever," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Okay, today, we're going to be doing a lesson on fuckin'.. cinematic records n' shit."

"Profanities," L reminded the other shinigami. He began to chew on his thumb.

"Shut up, or I will give you detention. I speak how I want."

"And I point out whatever I want. I have the rest of eternity, Mr. Sutcliff." He paused, a mischevious grin coming to his face. "Unless I am killed, of course."

The rest of the class continued to snicker in amusement at the exchange. None of them liked Grell, and watching their teacher get owned by a sarcastic trainee was hilarious to them.

"All of you, /quiet!/" Grell then commanded, glaring at all of them. "Or I will give each and every one of you a hundred years of detention!"

"And what, may I ask, will be keeping us from standing and leaving?"

"I will enchant the room with an invisible barrier."

"Interesting, because-" L stood and immediately exited, popping his head inside the classroom. "-I'm still able to just walk away."

And class continued in this disruptive and hilarious manner for 5 hours, until it was over and everyone was free to go. The entire class had ended up pinning Grell to the wall, playing "pin the tail on the Grell".

It was hilarious.

"Alright, friends, it's time for you all to resume your regular lives," L finally announced, grabbing Grell and slamming his head into the wall... casually. "I'm going to have a word with Mr. Sutcliff. Goodbye!"

The other students left the classroom, leaving Grell alone with L.

L turned to face Grell.

"If you find yourself wanting to punish me," he said casually, "I wish to let you know that there will be severe consequences for your actions."

Grell merely glared at him. "Oh? And what will those 'consequences' be? You can't punish a superior, brat."

"Punish? I did not say punish. I said consequences. Consequences have a far larger range than punishments."

"Elaborate on what these 'consequences' are."

"Say the magic wooord~," L replied, faking a grin and tapping his nose. Why should I? I give orders, not follow them.

"Suck my dick."

"I'm not gay, Grell."

"I didn't mean it literally. I was being sarcastic."

"I wouldn't have been surprised if you did mean it literally, Mr. Sutcliff, because you are as respectable as a prostitute." Did I really say that out loud? Hopefully he takes as much offense as intended.

"Thank you. I take that as a compliment."

"Trash."

"Panda-fucker."

"Slut."

"Man-whore."

"Female dog."

"Donkey."

"Pitiful excuse for a God of Death."

"Pitiful excuse for a detective."

L took a step back, his eyes narrowing. "I could solve far more cases than you in any situation. You are a pitiful person in general."

"So are you.~"

"At least I acknowledge it."

"At least I don't depend on an old man to do everything for me."

"Take that back," L growled. "Take that back right now. Right this minute. Watari is the only person I have ever cared about. You take that back."

"No.~"

What can I say that's a worse insult? He won't take offense to anything regarding sexuality or careers. Hmm...

"The way you dole over Sebastian is disgusting," L finally growled. "He will never accept your advances, you realize? He hates you." I'm stating the obvious.

"I'm aware.~"

"Then why do you bug him the way you do? Wishful thinking?"

"Aha... No. I actually am not attracted to him at all, bothering him is just incredibly amusing."

"Your lies suck," L replied plainly. "But.. I'd be lying if I said I did not find it amusing, as well."

"I'm not lying, actually; I hate demons. They're disgusting and smell bad."

"Mr. Sutcliff, take it from someone whose entire existence revolves around lies: you're lying."

"No, I'm not." He stared at L with a completely deadpan expression. "I hate Sebastian, he's a demon, which is repulsive. Why do you think I have death matches with him all the time and try to kill him?"

"You don't," L replied, his expression also deadpan. "And you're lying to me by saying you're not lying. How mature." What would be the purpose of lying about your love for Sebastian? Is this amusing to you somehow?

"And what makes you think I legitimately like him? I'm a shinigami, he's a demon. We're mortal enemies."

"You constantly pester him," L replied. "A look of pure adoration crosses your eyes every time you look at him. You gave him provocative nicknames, as well, and everything you do is based on your love for him."

"Hmph."

"Don't give me such a short answer, Mr. Sutcliff. Please confess to me your feelings for Sebastian; I don't take kindly to being lied to."

Grell glared harshly at the trainee shinigami, eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Ugh, /fine/," he huffed, turning his gaze away for a moment. "Yes, you imbecile- I like Sebastian. But who cares, it doesn't even matter. Like you said, that damned demon hates me, and our races are sworn enemies anyway so it's not like I'd ever have a chance. My emotions towards him, therefore, are completely meaningless and unimportant."

L frowned, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Mr. Sutcliff, no emotions are meaningless or unimportant. Come with me; I'd like to show you something." He began to totter away, a thumb stuck in his mouth. I'm going to put things into perspective for you.

Grell's face turned into an annoyed pout, but he followed after the other shinigami without a word.

L vanished and reappeared in a graveyard. He turned to glance at Grell.

"Mr. Sutcliff, I repeat: no emotions are meaningless or unimportant." His wide eyes narrowed. "Follow." He began to totter towards a specific row, and a specific stone.

Grell gave an aggravated sigh and followed after L, rolling his eyes as he did so.

"This woman," L said, stopping by Naomi Misora's gravestone. He read it aloud: "Beloved Fiancé and Daughter." He frowned. "Never was I able to express my thanks to her for her work on a certain case. She kicked me down a flight of stairs when I did." He began to walk away towards another grave. "Keep following me."

Grell continued following L, confused.

L stopped in front of another gravestone. "Quillsh Wammy," he read aloud. "Beloved Father, Inventor, Son, and Husband." He turned and began walking towards yet another gravestone. "Those titles were earned from emotions and feelings. Here, we have another. Thyis time, it's your turn to read it aloud."

Grell became extremely uneasy as he approached the next gravestone, and as he caught the words written on it, he went dead silent, staring at it.

"...Kito Sutcliff," he choked out after a moment, clenching his teeth together. "...Brother, son.."

This was the gravestone of Grell's brother, who had died when they were much younger. He was killed in a demon attack, during their early training years. He and Grell had been incredibly close, and so it tore the red-haired shinigami apart for quite a while when he died.

Grell felt his eyes begin to lightly water and quickly turned his head away, bringing his arm up and wiping his eyes. "..."

"Yes," L said quietly. "Yes. You tell me a bunch of bull about how unimportant your feelings and emotions are, but... do you know what, Mr. Sutcliff?" He frowned. "Feelings are mandatory. Without the ability to feel, well.. we'd be unable to feel the pain we inflict upon others, or the happiness we bring our friends. We would be wild, and inhuman."

Grell then turned his back on the gravestone, staring down at the ground. "And why are you showing and telling me this? Why even bother? You, like Sebastian, hate me, so why even bother wasting your time.."

"Because," L replied casually, "I don't hate you. I can never hate someone. I have no reason to hate you, Mr. Sutcliff; if anything, you remind me of a sibling."

Grell snorted at that comment. "You don't mean that."

"Do you need further convincing?"

"And what would this 'further convincing' be? Lawly, you've made it quite obvious that you harbor an intense dislike of me."

And with that comment, L awkwardly walked forward and gave Grell a hug. "I do harbor an intense dislike of you, but not in that sense," he muttered, pulling away as his joints cracked. "Oww..." He rubbed at his knees and elbows in a desperate attempt to remove the pain from those areas. "My apologies, Mr. Sutcliff; nerve damage." He glanced up at the shinigami. "What else can I do to convince you that you remind me of a sibling?"

Grell was quite surprised when L actually /hugged/ him, and when L let go, he backed away with a flustered look. "Alright, alright, I'm convinced!" he huffed, turning his gaze away and crossing his arms over his chest. "Just, eh... Look, don't you have a brat to watch?"

"...brat? No, I don't. And, please, stop acting so flustered; you are the first person I have hugged in twenty years, if that makes you feel any better."

"By 'brat' I mean the little Phantomhive kid," Grell muttered in response. "You've been following him and his butler around lately."

"That's because they entertain me," L replied after a small pause. He averted his eyes and scratched at his neck awkwardly. "Not very many people do anymore."

Grell shrugged at that, and then sighed and stood, straightening himself. "Come on, let's get back inside," he murmured, turning and stalking away, heading back for the classroom.

"Actually, I have another idea," L replied, glancing at the rows of gravestones with narrowed eyes. "I'm curious to see what's happening in Japan... and there's someone I want to meet on a personal level. Would you be so kind as to assist me?"

Grell turned to look back over his shoulder, blinking curiously. "Who is it?"

"Kuchisaka-onna."

"...Who?"

"A woman I never quite got a chance to speak to."

"Uh... okay?"

And with that, L went to Japan via however the hell shinigami even travelled.

He frowned once there; a large skyscraper nearby had mobs of people attacking it. They held signs in protest ad were screaming angrily. Kira supporters. I knew something like this might be happening, but I have unfinished business first. The shinigami shoved his hands into his pockets and began to totter towards a particularly empty, dark street, one he had visited about two years ago.

Grell followed after L, a bored look on his face. Herp.

"Kuchisaka-onna," L mumbled. "Come here."

The woman appeared out of thin air and growled. It was the slit-mouth woman that L had introduced Ciel to all those years ago.

She was confused; she was looking around, searching for whoever summoned her.

"You are a confused soul," L said quietly, approaching and placing a hand on her shoulder. She continued looking around, confused; it was evident that she could not see the shinigami.

"Mr. Sutcliff, I am in Japan. The Japanese shinigami do different things; they do not collect souls, but rather, they take lives for themselves, and sometimes for their own personal amusement. I know the rules; Ryuk told me. Do the English reaper rules apply in Japan, where the Japanese reapers are of a higher power and status?"

"Yes, they do- If you're a member of the English shinigami branch, our rules apply no matter what your location is," Grell responded. He then gave a tiny smirk. "But, as I am quite sure you've seen and remember, I myself don't give a single shit about the rules."

"This soul," L murmured, tracing a hand along the woman's face. "She has killed too many, murdered too many... she is a demon. An evil entity." He reached into his shirt and pulled out his Death Note, opening it and grabbing a pen from his pocket. "I cannot collect her soul, but I can kill it. I can make it disappear." He wrote down the woman's real name, being able to see it, and within seconds she disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

"Mr. Sutcliff, feelings and emotions save lives. They also take them. So, why are they unimportant?"

Grell shrugged at that, not responding.

"Answer me."

"I don't know what to respond with."

"Think of something."

"They're not unimportant. I just said that about my own towards Sebastian."

"Good. Now, is Nate River on a to-die list?"

"No."

"Is Mihael Kaehl?"

"No."

L nodded. "Good..." He glanced up at Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, I broke a rule. What will happen now?"

"There is no rule against killing demons. Only humans."

"Ah, I see... I have to make the rounds, then. Would you like to join me?"

"Sure."

"Alright." L stretched his arms and closed his notebook, pocketing it and the pen. "Do you have your Death Scythe with you?"

"Yep," Grell responded, waving the chainsaw-like object around.

"Right." L began to walk away, his hands stuffed inside his pockets. "Find any demons you can and take care of them, please."

Grell grinned at that, revved up his chainsaw, and went off demon-slaying.

Finally, after three hours straight, the two had cleaned up Japan significantly.

"Mr. Sutcliff, I'm one hell of a shinigami," L commented, using Sebastian's line and modifying it.

Grell grinned and chuckled at that, rolling his eyes. "You know, you /really/ sounded like Sebas-chan there," he commented in amusement. "You enjoy stealing lines, don't you, Lawly?"

"Not particularly," L replied, his expression deadpan. "...but I found it relevant. Mr. Sutcliff, I am impressed with the amount of demons you have slayed on this fine evening. I consider it community service, which is something I have never quite enjoyed... however, Near and Mello do not deserve to have such complications when they fight Kira."

Grell grinned, eyes still containing the psychotic light they had held when slaying the monstrous creatures. He did truly enjoy killing them, although he didn't outright say it.

"Come," L murmured after a pause. "I'd like to do a few more things in Japan." He began walking towards the old headquarters. "...please, keep your chainsaw hidden. I am going to be watching Kira."

Grell rolled his eyes, and his chainsaw then collapsed in on itself into a tiny little pocket-sized thing, which he pocketed. He then followed after L.

They soon arrived at the headquarters building. L glanced at Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, please find something formal to wear. You must try and blend in."

Grell groaned in annoyance at that. "Oh, come on, Lawly... Do I really have to wear such /dull/ clothing? Why can't I wear my vibrant red?"

"That's your choice," L replied, turning and tapping the correct codes into the locks. He entered the building quietly, holding the door open for Grell. "But prepare yourself for some... questioning, from the others."

Grell rolled his eyes at that. "Honey, what I wear is no human's business. If they want to question me, I don't care, I'll just walk right on past 'em."

"Mr. Sutcliff, I advise you not to question too much when we reach the main control room. Please." L tapped in the number on the elevator and stepped inside, motioning for Grell to follow.

"'Kay." Grell just casually followed after L, without a single care in the world.

[ 52 PM | 28 PM] The elevator opened up in the control room, and L stepped out. "Come on, Mr. Sutcliff," he said, casually walking up to Light and stopping next to him.

The teenager did not see; of course not. He hadn't touched L's notebook. Ryuk's eyes widened slightly, but he laughed it off and continued watching the cameras Light had set up.

When Grell entered, Light whipped around, his brown eyes narrowed. "...who are you?" he asked, slightly bitterly. The other men also turned around, their eyes quizzical.

"The name's Grell Sutcliff.~" the shinigami responded, flipping his bright red hair as he said that, a light smirk on his face.

"How did you get in here!?" Light gripped the chair angrily. "This building was secured thoroughly by L himself! We are in contact with him and will not hesitate to have him arrest you on grounds of trespassing."

L frowned a bit at that but watched Grell with narrowed eyes.

Grell suddenly burst out into wild, voracious laughter at that statement, and then suddenly stopped, staring at Light with a wide grin, as he then leaned against the wall casually. "Honey, no... L is dead.~"

"How did you-"

Ryuk laughed. "So, looks we got another shinigami, eh? You don't look the part."

Grell smirked and nodded at Ryuk's words, continuing to casually lean on the wall. "I've got my ways.~"

Light looked between the two, his eyes narrowed. "You look nothing like a shinigami," he growled.

"Neither do I," L commented, making Ryuk laugh again.

Grell then smirked, bearing his sharp, shark-like teeth, and widened his bright green-yellow eyes. "Ahaha... you must realize, there is more than one type of shinigami, my dear.~ I am a European shinigami... A /true/ reaper.~"

"No, you aren't," Light replied after a pause, swiveling back around in his chair.

L frowned and stuck a thumb in his mouth. "Mr. Yagami, you are very stupid. I regret giving you a foot massage- that was, of course, my own way of telling you I was about to betray you, but..."

Ryuk laughed and fixed his eyes on L. "You got him there," he said with a wheezy voice. Light was right next to L and thought that Ryuk was talking to him.

L turned to glance at Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, please tell Light-kun your thoughts about Kira."

Grell laughed at that, getting quite amused. "Whatever, kid, think what you will," he chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Odd that someone such as you can't recognize a shinigami, you little devil~! After all, you bring so much death and destruction that surely you should recognize a fellow God of Death~?"

"I am not a God of Death," Light replied, standing and facing Grell. "I do not bring death and destruction."

"Quit the bull, Light," L grunted. "None of the intelligent people here believe you, surely?"

Matsuda also stood, taking Light's side. "Yeah, he isn't a God of Death! He's a detective, on the case of Kira!"

Grell burst out laughing again at that. "Ahahah... is that the font you're putting up, Kira-san~?"

"I'm not Kira," Light replied.

L stood to his full height. He towered over everyone else in the room, and he looked down at Light with a darkened expression. "Light-kun, Near and Mello will defeat you. You will lose, and I will win." He turned to face Grell, his grey eyes narrowed. "Don't say anything about Kira or you may end up convincing the others. That's three who suspect him, remember; you cannot solve this case. This is a personal battle between Near, Mello, Light, and I, and I will not tolerate it."

Grell rolled his eyes at that, waving his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Lawly... but it's fun toying with him," Grell chuckled... /out loud/. He then turned back to Light, grinning. "Well, little /detective/, if you wanna play that game then by all means go ahead. I won't stop you, heheh..~"

Light took a step back, his eyes narrowing further. "Lawly?... Game? I don't- I don't follow."

L quickly approached Grell. He was only an inch taller than the other shinigami, but it was big enough for him to slap a hand over Grell's mouth. "Keep quiet, Mr. Sutcliff. Nobody knows my real name, and I want it to stay that way."

"Fine, would you rather I call you Ryu~? The name these little punks know you by~?" Grell responded through L's hand, grinning. This was very amusing to him.

Light's eyes narrowed even further. "Ryu?.. What are you on about?"

"Shut your damn mouth," L growled. "Or I will cut out your tongue."

Grell snickered at that. "Alright, alriiiight... Jeez, Ryuga, you're such a downer~!"

"Ryuga? As in, Hideki Ryuga?" Matsuda was catching on, as were the others.

Light smirked. "What did you say your name was again, reaper?"

"Grell Sutcliff," the shinigami responded with a light smirk. "And yes, Matsuda- And Light, that little book of yours won't affect me.~"

"Ah, I think I'm starting to get it," Light said, his expression returning to normal. "You mistakenly think that the Death Note is mine, since shinigami can sense Death Notes."

"That's right," Ryuk added, laughing.

Light nodded. "The Death Note is not mine, and I think you're a bit confused, Grell. Hideki Ryuga is a pop singer, though... I wouldn't be surprised if you mistook me for him. I am good looking, after all!~" He turned back towards the monitors and began typing notes to himself.

L stared at Light bitterly. "Oh, he knows what you're getting at," he said softly, making Ryuk laugh. "If you say my name, he'll think you're crazy, which is probably for the best."

Grell burst out laughing again. "AHAHA! L, a pop singer? Now /that's/ a sight I'd /love/ to see! And you really aren't a very bright one, are you? Don't you realize I wasn't even talking to you, dear, when I said the name 'Hideki'~?"

"You're very confused," Light replied. "L died, remember?"

L stared at Grell coldly before slamming his fist into the other shinigami's face. "Shut it, Mr. Sutcliff! This isn't your battle!"

Grell flew backwards with the force of the other shinigami's face, and a mark clearly showed. "Owwwww! Hey, Lawly, no /fair!/ Why the /face/?"

Light pretended not to notice, instead staring up at the screen.

The other men, however, stared in awe, while Ryuk kept laughing.

"Your face is the equivalent of three pounds of dog feces," L grunted, to which Ryuk laughed harder.

"You're awfully giggly today," Light commented to the visible shinigami. Ryuk smiled.

"This new guy's hilarious!" he replied. "You can't see him, of course, but he's got a sense of humor!"

"Why can't I see him?"

"He's a shinigami, too," Ryuk replied. "Death Note and everything. He just hasn't let you touch his book yet."

"That's a good thing," Light responded. "I don't want to see any more Gods of Death, especially not after L's death."

L froze, backing away from Grell. What? You're lying, Kira.

Grell huffed in irritation and stood, rubbing his face where he had been hit. "That really hurt, you know."

"Keep quiet," L replied, to which Ryuk laughed.

"Light, this guy's absolutely hilarious," the Japanese shinigami laughed. "You gotta hear him!"

"No," Light replied. "I'm not interested."

Matsuda tilted his head to the side. "I wanna hear him," he said innocently. Ryuk laughed even harder at that and looked at L expectantly.

"Matsuda's an idiot," L stated plainly. "But, I trust him. He's stupid enough to be quiet about this." The shinigami reached into his shirt, pulled out the notebook, and grabbed Matsuda's hand, placing it on the cover.

Matsuda stared wide-eyed at the shinigami, but L moved quickly. He clamped a hand over Matsuda's mouth and held his other hand to his mouth in a 'sh' gesture. Matsuda nodded, eyes buggy.

"You- you have glasses," was all he said. "And your eye color-"

"European shinigami," L replied. "Different matter entirely."

Matsuda nodded and backed away. L turned back towards Grell.

"You," he growled, "had better keep your mouth shut, or I'll keep it shut for you."

Grell rolled his eyes. "Fiiiiine. Sheesh, you're grumpy today."

Ryuk laughed.

Matsuda frowned. "Uh, Ryu- wait, no, sorry. Uh, Mr. Shinigami, why are you so upset? It's really not that big a deal-"

"Matsuda, your specialty is being stupid, so please do not try to be anything otherwise." L's voice was exasperated.

Matsuda went bright red at that. "Oh, uh, sorry, Mr. Shinigami, I'll try-"

Aizawa and Mogi exchanged confused stares, but said nothing.

Light finally spoke. "Grell, why are you and your friend here, anyway?"

Grell shrugged, a bored expression on his face. "Because my little friend here wanted to."

Matsuda stared at L. "You- you came back? But... why?"

"Because," L replied casually, "I was bored. It really is as simple as that, Matsuda."

Matsuda didn't question that. He did, however, brighten up a bit. "Well, we have Near on our side now! He's investigating the Kira case with us!"

"Yes, I know that," L replied. He turned towards Light. "Do you have any input, Kira?"

Light was unable to see or hear L, so he just continued doing what he had been doing.

Matsuda looked between Grell and L, confused. "...Kira? What do you mean? Light isn't Kira! He's actually taken L's place!"

L whipped around to face the man. "What?"

"He took L's place," Matsuda replied.

L's grey eyes slowly moved to look at Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, input."

Grell immediately erupted into loud, cackling laughter, even falling on the ground as he did so. "AHAHAHAHAHA~! KIRA HIMSELF, INVESTIGATING THE KIRA CASE AS L?! AHAHAH~! THIS IS HILARIOUS!"

"Grell, shut up," L groaned, making Matsuda giggle a little bit. He was silenced by a glare from L.

Ryuk was laughing, as well. Light turned to glance at Grell.

"I'm not Kira," he said in a deadpan voice. "If that was what you were getting at."

L groaned once again. "Dammit, Grell, shut the f*ck up before I slam your f*cking head into the f*cking wall!"

Matsuda gulped. "I've- wow," he said, a bit surprised. "You- that's quite the language, Ryuzaki!"

Light, Mogi, Aizawa, and whoever else was assisting Light all whipped to face Matsuda, their eyes buggy. "What!?"

Matsuda shrank back. "I mixed up the names!" he exclaimed in defense.

"Don't do it again," Aizawa growled. "That's disrespectful to L."

Matsuda shrank at Aizawa's words. "Sorry," he muttered, averting his gaze.

"Hey, you asked for my input!" Grell protested, standing up again and crossing his arms indignantly. "So it's your fault! You know I have no filter, especially when outright asked for input.~"

"I asked for your input, not laughter."

"Laughing /was/ my input, honey.~"

Matsuda and Ryuk both laughed at that. Light glared at them both, annoyed.

"..alright," he said. "I'll see this shinigami, since you two are laughing it up."

L glared coldly at Light but touched the teen's hand to a slip of his Death Note. Light's eyes widened.

"Ah, I see," he said with a soft chuckle. "Guys, he's not that funny. He's just another shinigami." He paused. "You could use a facelift, though; you look worse than Ryuk!"

Ryuk laughed at that. "Wow, I'll take that as a compliment."

L stared coldly at Light. "Mr. Sutcliff, input," he murmured.

Grell snickered at that comment, and was actually about ready to high-five Light. But, he decided against it to prevent himself from being killed by L, and simply commented. "Ahah, aren't you a rude little devil?"

"Shut it, Grell," L snapped, making Light jump.

"Well, Matsuda and Grell were right! You're very upset," Light commented. "But... maybe that's a good thing. It's okay to be upset sometimes; we all do it." He turned his brown eyes to stare at Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, what did you say you were here for again? Shinigami or not, I'm still a bit upset that you got past the locks."

"Like I said, I'm here because Lawly wanted me to come."

"Who is Lawly?" Light's voice was quizzical. "It sounds like a pet name."

"Him." Grell casually gestured to L.

"Why do you call him that?" Light was starting to get the idea, but was obviously trying to change the subject from Kira to L.

L took the glasses off and angrily threw them against the wall, smashing them. Matsuda yelped and jumped away from the impact zone.

"I hate glasses," he grunted. "They're hard to see with." He liked being near-sighted, and turned to glare at Light as he awaited Grell's response. Don't give them my real name. I beg of you, Grell.

"It's a little nickname. I give nicknames to all of my colleagues. It's short for his real name... It's quite an embarrassing one, I must say... I mean, who wants a name like Lawliara Von Queef?"

Ryuk, Mogi, Aizawa, and Matsuda all simultaneously started laughing... very, very hard.

Light smirked at L. "What a pleasant name," he said quietly. "I'm sure Watari had lots of fun with that."

L turned around slowly to face Grell. "Gods of Death cannot die unless they prevent death," he murmured quietly. "That is the case in Japan, which we are in. However... Gods of Death can feel pain. They can feel all the pain in the world. Tell me, Grellietta Sutvaginacliff, do you wish to feel pain?"

Even Light couldn't help but laugh at that.

L grabbed Grell by the neck and slammed him into the wall. "I am stronger than I look, and I will make you feel pain."

Grell yelped at that, staring up at L. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, sheesh! I was just /kidding/!"

"What's my real name?" L growled. "I want to hear you say my real name." Mostly for Matsuda; he's stupid and won't think anything of it.

The others had stopped laughing and now watched, curious to see what Grell was doing.

"Are you being serious and won't kill me if I say it~?"

"Yes. I am serious."

Light leaned in closer, as did Matsuda. Ryuk just chuckled once again.

"It ain't much," he commented, but Light and Matsuda ignored his comment.

"His name's L Lawliet."

Light turned back towards the computer monitors. "That would have been helpful to know," he commented. "We would have been able to accurately protect his identity, and we might have been able to save him from death."

"Bull," L growled. "You wanted me dead. You planned it!"

Matsuda watched the exchange with wide eyes, but did not say anything. Ryuk just kept on laughing.

Grell rolled his eyes at Light's words. "Ahah... you really are a persistant one, aren't you?"

"Grell, since you and your colleague are not important in this investigation, may I request that you leave?" Light asked politely, continuing to look through newspaper reports about Kira.

L turned to look at Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, I feel the urge to watch this case. What about you? Do you wish to watch it, as well? To cure the boredom, of course."

"I certainly wouldn't mind watching this little case... though to be honest, I find that little brat's case a bit more interesting.~"

"Ah, well, Mr. Phantomhive and Mr. Michealis certainly do not seem to want you around," L replied, to which Ryuk laughed.

"You're a lot more pleasant," the Japanese shinigami chuckled. "Being a God of Death isn't so bad, is it?"

"It is not, no," L replied. He walked over to Grell, a small frown on his face. "Mr. Sutcliff, come along; we're going to pay a visit to Near."

Grell rolled his eyes and turned towards the exit, waving his hand dismissively. "Alright, alright. Let's go, then~!"

And with that, they left.

L was certain he could hear Light grumbling, but he shrugged it off and continued walking.

Soon, they reached the SPK building. L entered without a second thought and walked quickly up the stairs. "Come along, Grell," he murmured. "But, please, do not be so loud. Keep your mouth closed."

Grell rolled his eyes at the other shinigami. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Lawliara Von Queef." He grinned playfully as he said that, chuckling in amusement. He was only playfully teasing the other shinigami, so he hoped L wouldn't punch his face in for that comment...

"That is not funny," L grunted. "Come on; let's try to not make a scene. Knock on the door and introduce yourself as Hayao Miyuki, a specialized investigator sent from America to assist Near."

Grell rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. "Alright, alright, fine.~"

"After you," L muttered as they reached the door.

Grell then entered the room, staring around with a bored expression.

There were several people in the room, and all of them were working on something at desks. In the center of the spacious room kneeled a boy of around 13 or 14. He was silent.

A couple of the people stood. "You have the wrong room," one of them said cautiously. "Please, introduce yourself."

"Actually, no dear, I'm quite sure this is the correct room," Grell chuckled in amusement. "The name's Hayao Miyuki, a specialized investigator sent from America to assist Near.~"

"Interesting," the boy in the center of the room said, rather loudly. "You claim to be sent from America, but you have a Japanese name. From your voice, I can assume that you're English. That leaves me no choice but to suspect that you're lying."

L spoke quickly. "Tell him it's an alias, and that you do not wish to reveal your real identity at this time due to the possibility of someone in the room being Kira."

Grell chuckled at that. "It's an alias, kid," he responded, rolling his eyes. "I wish to not reveal my real identity at this time due to the possibility of someone in this room being Kira."

"Smart," Near replied, running his socked feet against each other. "But I would like to see some form of proof that you were sent from America."

Grell stared at Near with a deadpan expression. "And what 'proof' do you want?"

"Something that would not be public information."

L spoke, his stare boring into Grell's neck. "His real name, which was revealed to the American task force, is Nate River."

"Your real name's Nate River."

"Yes, that is correct," Near replied. "But anyone can look into the Wammy's databanks and find that out if they want. What are the names of my associates?"

L looked at the members and spoke their names from what he sa above their heads. "Anthony Carter, Stephen Loud, Halle Bullook, Steve Mason, John McEnroe, Ellickson Gardner, Ill Ratt, Elliot Schmidt, Adolf Tucker, John Skyner, Daril Mocry, and Kurt McBride."

"Anthony Carter, Stephen Loud, Halle Bullook, Steve Mason, John McEnroe, Ellickson Gardner, Ill Ratt, Elliot Schmidt, Adolf Tucker, John Skyner, Daril Mocry, and Kurt McBride."

"That is correct, but my questions are mundane, at best. Who are we, who are we in contact with, and what is our goal?"

L stared at the child in dismay. "I don't know," he murmured. "I did pick up on something while we spoke with Light, however. It is to my belief that this is the Special Provision for Kira. I cannot tell you anything else, though. I never thought I'd be saying this, but... Mr. Sutcliff, it's time for you to improvise."

"You're the Special Provision for Kira, in contact with L and the task force working with him."

"Ah, you've contradicted yourself. Yes, we are the S.P.K. Yes, we are in contact with the task force." He paused. "And, yes, we are, in fact, in contact with L."

"Clever," L muttered, walking slowly up to Near and staring down at him. "Very, very clever. Mr. Sutcliff, L is dead; Near knows this. BY telling him he is in contact with L, you made it sound as though you didn't know of L's death. Which... contradicted yourself. You're a bad liar, Sutcliff, but there's still time to fix it."

"Ah, but I did not contradict myself... I know the man you are in contact with is in fact not the real L, but has pretty much taken his place, so..." Grell shrugged as he said that. "I am quite aware the real L is dead."

"Yes," was all Near replied.

L sat down next to the white-haired boy, his eyes narrowed. "Mr. Sutcliff, do come closer." They won't attack you unless Near orders them to. "It would be wise for you to prove yourself by stating something they already know about Kira. You could say he uses a Death Note, or that he is childish, for example."

"I am also aware that Kira uses an object known as a Death Note.~"

"And what is this object, exactly?" Near tilted his head to the side. His back was still turned to Grell, and he glanced half-heartedly up at the ceiling.

"It's a notebook. When you write someone's name in it, they die."

"And where did you hear about this object?"

"Honey, I have my sources. Now, I'd suggest you quit asking me questions and accept the fact that I am who I claim to be. I've already proven it."

"You certainly are not Kira," Near replied. "You couldn't be if you tried. You're just too stupid."

"Ah! Great minds think alike!" L exclaimed, though his expression remained its usual semi-creepy deadpan state. "Mr. Sutcliff, repeat your alias and your reason for coming here. Near won't hire stupid people."

"I am not /stupid/," Grell hissed in response, eye twitching. "I will say this again. I'm from America, sent to work with you on the Kira investigation. The name's Hayao Miyuki. Now, will you stop with your questioning, it's getting quite annoying."

"Okay," Near agreed. "Rester will set you up on a laptop. I want you to break into the criminal records for each prison in Japan. If you aren't stupid, then this will be easy."

Rester did as he was ordered, opening a laptop and placing it in front of Grell. He did not turn it on.

L smirked. "Alright, Hayao Miyuki; turn on the laptop, enter the correct password, and hack into the databanks. I will be of assistance if you need it." The shinigami stood and made his way over to Grell. "Good luck."

Grell stared at the laptop with a deadpan expression. He was flamboyant and sassy as hell, but he sure wasn't stupid.

He did just as L said, and had quickly hacked into what Near had told him to. Herp.

"Good job," L grunted. "A 15-year-old girl would be able to do that faster, but I won't judge you for your first time." He glanced up at Near.

The white-haired boy had turned his head to glance at Grell. "Alright, Mr. Miyuki," he murmured. "You may join the S.P.K. You may leave whenever you like, and if you feel the urge to quit... do so whenever. I certainly won't stop you. However, if you do end up quitting... you will immediately be a coward."

"Ah, the nasty look in his eye has returned!" L's voice was ecstatic. "That's why I chose him as a candidate, you know."

"Mkay. I will have you know, I most certainly am not a coward."

"Please tell me how many criminals have died in the past hour," Near responded.

"600."

"600? Kira certainly has been busy."

"Yes. Yes he has."

"Please elaborate on each of the deaths."

"...You want me to state the cause of death for each and every victim?"

"Scared?"

"No."

"Then please elaborate on each of the deaths."

And then Grell elaborated on all of the deaths.

"All heart attacks," Near murmured. "Which prison is it?"

"-Insert prison name here.-"

"Well, we're on the right track," Near announced.

L smirked, walking up to Grell and flipping the laptop lid shut. The laptop immediately turned off, and any and all data was lost. "Ah, the good old days of pranking people have returned."

Grell just sat there with a deadpan expression.

Near glanced at the laptop. "Please be careful with that, Mr. Miyuki, as those are not cheap."

L smirked and casually pushed the laptop off the table, sending it smashing to the ground. "Oops," he snickered, backing away very quickly to avoid being killed by Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, you have a lot of proving to do to Near, and I doubt that ruining his laptop will improve your status with him."

Grell hissed at that, glaring intensely at L. "Will you stop fucking around?!" he hissed, /out loud/. "I swear, Ryuzaki, you're so damn childish! You're going to get the kid pissed at me, ugh!"

Near glanced at Grell as though he were crazy. The other S.P.K members did, as well.

"...alright then," Near mumbled, turning back towards his toy trains.

L chuckled at that. "They don't know me by anything other than L," he smirked. "Now, please, apologize for your accident."

"It was not /my/ accident, you imbecile!" he hissed. he then suddenly leaped at L, grabbing a piece of paper from his death note... and then lunged at Near, touching him with the piece of paper. He then pointed angrily at L to make his point.

Near looked up quizzically.

"...who's that?" he asked, his grey eyes narrowing. "I was not aware that there were two of you who entered this room."

"That, my little albino friend, is L."

"I'm not an albino, and that is definitely not L," Near replied.

L's expression darkened. "Not L? What, my little albino friend, can possibly convince you otherwise?"

near was starting to get freaked out. "Um... Rester, Gevanni, I think there may be gas or something in this room.."

The S.P.K members looked between each other, eyebrows raised. "Near, are you okay?"

"No," Near replied slowly. "No, and I should not be okay." He shakily stood, grasping the nearest chair as he did so to steady himself. "I think I may be hallucinating..."

L grunted but did not reply. Instead, he watched as Rester came quickly to Near's aid. The man stabilized the boy, and Near looked up at L with a smirk.

"If you are who you say you are, then you will be of help," he murmured.

L glanced at Grell, his eyes deadly. "Mr. Miyuki will be of far greater assistance."

"Tell me, L; what color were your eyes?"

"Grey. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason in particular."

"...okay."

Grell smirked at L. "Oh, little boy, that's L alright. And he /is/ dead... but he's also a shinigami.~"

"Sure," Near replied, smirking. He sat back down, and Rester returned to his spot, royally confused.

"Sure. That's L, the real L, and he is a shinigami. Alright." The boy's voice was emotionless, as well as flat.

L frowned a bit. I did not will my book to be touched, nor any of its pages. Which means... Near can't see me. But, he can, can't he? He asked me a question, and he heard my reply. So, what exactly is going on here?

"Yes. Yes he is."

But that means-

"He's faking it," L grunted. "It's another silly test. I did not will him to touch my notebook; he must think you're insane, but he's going along with it, to put himself in your place. He wants to know what you're thinking, feeling, and seeing."

Near continued to stare at the place where Grell had pointed, silent. He neither proved L correct or incorrect.

Grell then glanced over at Near. "Tell me, Near; What does he look like~?"

Near glanced up at Grell. "He look revolting," came the response. The boy turned away, going back to his trains. "I don't think I have ever seen an uglier being in my existence. Now, Mr. Miyuki, please return to work... colleagues or not, we need to find leads on the Kira case."

"That isn't a good enough description," Grell chuckled. "See; He thinks you're just pretending to be able to see him, and don't actually... so to prove you really can see him, please describe how he looks in detail.~"

"I do not need to follow your order," Near replied. "For all I know, you could be Kira, and this could be a trap. So, please, continue with your investigative work until further notice."

"So then I will label you as lying, you can't actually see L."

"He's dead," Near replied. "And your reaction proves it as much. So, please, continue with your investigative work until further notice."

L smirked. "Then he'll think you did this," the shinigami murmured, shoving Grell onto the laptop. It smashed further, and Near's eyes narrowed.

"We will discuss expenses later," he murmured.

Grell growled lowly in annoyance. "I did /not/ do that, he did."

"Sure thing," Near replied. He was used to working with people with disabilities- he had disabilities himself, after all- and he wouldn't sack someone so quickly after hiring them just because of a slight screw up.

L frowned, his amusement over. "Mr. Sutcliff, offer to interview potential Kira-spotters. That will surely make you much happier."

"No," Grell snorted in response. "Fuck off, Lawliet, will you? You've now put me in a bad mood."

"Ask it," L persisted. "It is vital that you do this. If I have to, I will set you up on a new laptop. Please do as I ask."

Near ignored Grell, having decided that the red-haired man was completely insane.

"Ugh, you're so annoying!" Grell huffed, rolling his eyes. "Fine, fine! Oi, little albino kid; Want me to like, interview potential Kira spotters or some shit?"

"I am not an albino," Near replied. "Anything you can do to help will be greatly appreciated."

L nodded but remained silent.

"'Kay."

L pointed towards the door. "Go over there," he murmured. "They'll give you your necessary materials then."

"'Kay." Grell then stalked over to where L told him to. Derp.

One of the S.P.K members silently handed Grell a notebook and a pencil.

"Please, be careful," Near instructed from the middle of the dimly-lit room. "If a supporter of Kira finds our location, then we may have yet another riot on our hands."

L nodded. "I'll guide you through," he muttered. "Let's go."

"'Kay," Grell responded simply, leaving the room.

L walked quietly beside Grell. "Mr. Sutcliff, you don't seem to know why I smashed your laptop. Would you like an explanation?"

"Talk to the ass."

"Mm, okay." L bent down near Grell's butt and averted his eyes, his words directed towards it. "Mr. Sutcliff's ass, would you like an explanation?"

"Yes."

"Near trusts disabled people more so than non-disabled people; he has... different standards, and thinks that those with mild mental illnesses are more intelligent than those without. However, it is entirely subjective. The way to the child's heart is through manipulation; you have taken a baby's candy, Mr. Sutcliff. Now all you need to do is eat it." L frowned, fixing his large eyes on Grell's head. "Which means helping him find Kira... subtly."

Grell snorted at that, rolling his eyes, "Yeah, sure, whatever."

L sighed. "Mr. Sutcliff, it will be worth your time. I promise."

"I'm a shinigami, I could be doing more interesting things than helping a little boy find a guy who kills with a book."

"Such as?" L scowled. "I died for this, I may as well work on it. I don't want to be seen by anyone, so I need you to be my eyes and ears. That's it. You're my puppet, Mr. Sutcliff; a piece in my chess game."

At that moment, Grell stopped, glaring intensely at L. "Oh no. Hell /no/, you little shitbag, I am not going to anyone's damn puppet! If you wanna watch this shitty case, do it yourself! I am no damn puppet, fuckin' panda face!"

And with that, Grell took off, back to the shinigami realm.

"My chess game is losing," L murmured to himself, taking off after Grell and catching up to him. He grabbed the red-haired man by the shirt neckline and pulled him towards himself.

"Mr. Sutcliff, you are a strong individual, and you remind me of a sibling. However, I need somebody to do my physical work for me. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yes," Grell spat, shoving him away. "Calling me a 'puppet' was the last straw, mister. I am /done/ helping you, all you did was make me look like a damn crazy fool in front of that brat and his little minions."

He then turned his back and continued to walk away, grumbling in annoyance under his breath.

"I am willing to offer a price for your service, Mr. Sutcliff," L replied casually.

"I don't want money," Grell responded sharply. "I have no need for it."

"I never said a word about money, of which I have none," L replied.

"Then what is this 'price' you're blabbing on about?"

"Alcoholic beverage."

"No thanks, I'll pass."

"Sugary foods."

"No."

"Anything edible."

"/No./"

"Something... tangible?"

"No."

"Something related to emotions."

"No."

"A hug?"

"No."

"A kiss on the cheek?"

"No."

"I could kiss your feet."

"No, that's gross."

"I could make you a salad, since you could lose a few pounds, anyway."

"Okay, now that was just downright rude. Again, no."

"Personal observation, nothing to do with you. How about I set you up on a date with Sebastian?"

Grell then suddenly stopped, a small grin coming to his face. "Now we're talking."

"Please elaborate on the terms and conditions for this bribe."

"Hmmm... how about you make offers?"

"I will do whatever is necessary in order for you to be my marionette doll in the Kira case."

Grell snorted at that, rolling his eyes. "Alright, then. You have to set me up on a date with Sebastian. Then in order for me to work with you, he must kiss me of his own accord.~"

Christ almighty. "..Alright. I'll see what I can do."

"Alright, good then.~"

L frowned. "When do you want this date to occur?"

"Whenever Sebby's actually free to go on it... which means likely at the end of that case of theirs."

"I think I can set your date up before then. I will simply need both your's and Sebastian's cooperation."

"Alright.~"

L took off down to London and approached Sebastian quickly. It was nighttime, and whatever had happened that day had happened.

"Sebas-chan," he whispered, grabbing the demon's arm. "I would like to speak with you in private."

About half of episode 4 had happened, and Sebastian was currently lying on the top bunk of a bed in a tent, with William on the bottom bunk, asleep.

When Sebastian then sat up, he was met with William's hedge-trimmer-like death sycthe outstretched by him, with the shinigami having been awoken very quickly by his movements.

"And just where do you think you're going, demon?" the shinigami hissed, messing with his glasses.

"A subordinate of yours wishes to speak with me."

"Well tell him no, I will not have you meddling in shinigami business."

Sebastian gave a light sigh of annoyance, glancing over at L. "Apologies, but it seems as if your boss doesn't wish us to speak at this moment. I'd suggest waiting for morning," he then said lowly, eyes flashing.

"I do not have a boss," he replied. "This is incredibly urgent, Sebastian, enough for me to use your first name."

Sebastian sighed and glanced at the wall for a second, and then made a further attempt to leave the bed, only to once again be intercepted by William's scythe in his face.

"As I said, demon, at night you are to stay here. I will not allow you wandering about and meddling in shinigami affairs without your master to keep you on a leash."

At that, L climbed onto William's bed and sat in his normal crouched manner. He pulled his Death Note out and touched William with it in case the higher-ranking shinigami was unable to see him.

"William, this is a vital affair and will not take long. Please oblige."

William was already able to see the younger shinigami, and was quite irked by his display of touching him with the notebook like that. "First of all, what exactly is it that you wish to speak with a /demon/ about?"

"I have to make a bribe," he replied. "It is a personal affair and will not interfere with business."

William sighed, adjusting his glasses in light annoyance. "...Fine."

"Sebastian, please come with me," L said flatly, climbing down off of William's bed and stuffing his hands into his pockets. "We're going somewhere secluded so I may speak with you in private."

Sebastian gave a light nod and made his way down from the bed, following after L.

They walked for some time, away from the circus until it was nothing but stars and nature. L turned to face Sebastian.

"I need you to kiss Grell on your own accord," he said emotionlessly.

Sebastian then froze, eyes narrowing. "Excuse me?" he scoffed, looking absolutely appalled at the idea.

"I wish to continue following the Kira case, but I may have let it slip to Grell that I consider him a chess piece in my game. He, of course, was offended, and I had to bribe him to get him to comply. Unfortunately he will only be my marionette in the Kira case if you kiss him on your own accord. Please do not hesitate to do so." L paused. "He also wants a romantic dinner date with you, which I agreed to host."

"...No."

"I am telling you this to offer you a bribe."

"Gag me with a spoon."

"Please, Sebastian, do not speak like a valley girl. Would you like something edible in return for this arduous, tedious task?"

"No. Demons don't need human food, nor do we desire or enjoy it."

"Something tangible?"

"No."

"Something emotionally appealing?"

"No."

"A hug?"

"Absolutely not."

"A kiss?"

"Hell no."

"I could kiss your feet."

"No, that's disgusting."

"How about I set you up with Beast so that you may cuddle and pet her tiger?"

"...Mmmm tempting, but I could easily sneak in the cage on my own, so no."

"I can shower you with cats."

"L, if I wanted to I could go to a pet store right now and pet all the cats I wanted. So, no, an offer like that will not make me kiss that disgusting shinigami."

"Ryuzaki," L hissed in slight annoyance. However, he soon regained his confident expression and voice. "Perhaps... I could have Agni pay a visit?"

"No. I could easily go to the townhouse in which Agni and Soma watch for us, and really I'm not that interested in being around them, anyway. And how did you even know I was more than an aquaintance with Agni, anyway?"

"Observation," L replied. "An educated guess. What is it that you want most in your life?"

"I don't even know that myself."

"Perhaps you want most to know what you want most."

"That made no sense."

"It made perfect sense; you're too dense to understand it."

"Whatever. Already decided, not kissing Grell."

"I see." L frowned a bit. "Will you at the very least go on a dinner date with him? I will make certain that nothing physical happens."

"No."

"Sebastian, I will kick you in the knads if you don't start complying."

"I'm a demon, that won't affect me much."

"I don't care."

"Okay." And with that, Sebastian turned and began walking away.

"Stop, Mr. Michealis," L said flatly. "Do something with Grell. Please. You are sadistic and cold, I know, but the least you could do would be to work with me a little on this." He frowned. "I accept that I do not know enough about you to properly bribe you, but... it is the only way I will be able to work the Kira case."

Sebastian gave a very long, drawn out, annoyed sigh, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Fine, Ryuzaki, I'll do it. But I swear, you owe me to all hell for this, damn you..."

"Thank you," he murmured. "Try and make the kiss believable, please; that is all I ask of you, apart from you going on the date as well." He paused, staring at the moon with his wide eyes. "Would tomorrow night be convenient for you?"

"It depends on what ends up happening, really. I and my master will likely be quite busy for the next few days."

"I'm afraid it is vital that you not take so long. Tomorrow night it is; I highly doubt you will be busy at midnight. Meet me in the main tent at that time exactly; do not be late."

"The issue is whether that damn shinigami will let me leave."

"Oh, he will," L replied simply.

Sebastian snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, okay."

And with that, he turned his back and began to head back to the tent.

L returned to the shinigami realm, his mind racing. I now owe Sebastian something... hmph.

Grell was now chilling out in his apartment in the shinigami realm, asleep on the couch. Where ever L had transported himself to, a tall black-haired 'shinigami' with golden eyes walked aimlessly, not really going anywhere in particular.

L was in his own world, as usual, and accidentally smashed into the shinigami.

"Ouch," he complained as he fell to the floor backwards. He picked himself up, dusted himself off, and glanced in annoyance at the black-haired man. "You were in my walking space."

The man, known as Claude, merely looked down at the other shinigami, blinking, as he then took a step back. "Apologies, but it seems as if you were not watching where you were going..." he murmured in response, voice low. "But nonetheless, I apologize for taking up your walking space, as you call it."

"Thank you," L grunted. "Your eyes are golden, which means you are not a full shinigami. And yet, you are in the shinigami realm. Nonetheless, I can tell you are new. Welcome." L held out a hand to shake. He had not bothered to replace his glasses, so he had not seen the man's features until he had come closer.

"I am not new, actually..." Claude responded, blinking, also reaching out a hand and taking the other man's, shaking it lightly. "I'm a senior trainee by now. I've been around for quite a while."

"Then you should know not to walk in other shinigamis' spaces by now."

"This is not exactly your space, this area is public," Claude responded with a deadpan expression. "I always roam around here."

"My space," L replied, moving his arm in a circle about five feet around himself. "My bubble." He tilted his head to the side. "Not new? Why have I not seen you before? You certainly do not look like any of the other shinigami."

"I'm a bit secluded," Claude responded, ignoring L's rude 'my space, my bubble' comment. "I'm not very social, to be honest, so I tend to veer away from the other shinigami."

"I like you already," L replied. "And I can say that for only one person, and he is not a shinigami- he isn't even alive, actually." The shinigami gave Claude a warm smile. "You may call me Ryuzaki."

Claude gave a small smile back. "Alright, Ryuzaki... You can call me Claude."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Claude." The shinigami then glanced at his bare hand. "Oh, what do you know? It's very late, and I forgot I hate socialization. Goodnight, Claude." And with that, he shoved his hands into his jeans and tottered away, headed for the apartment he had been assigned to share with Grell.

Claude watched the other man leave with light amusement, and then turned the opposite direction, beginning to stalk away.

L paused, glancing back at Claude.

"Mr. Claude, be careful. Shinigami are notorious for hatred."

And with that note, he continued on towards the apartment.

Claude snorted at the other man's words. "I am well aware.." he responded quietly, continuing to walk away.

L nodded and left the other alone.

He finally reached the apartment and entered it without knocking. "You and Michealis will be going on a date tomorrow at midnight exactly," he informed Grell.

"Awesome," Grell responded drowsily from the couch, being half-asleep.

"You can thank me later," L replied, sitting down in the corner in his preferred position and resting his head on his knees. "For now, however, I think I'll be sleeping."

And with that, he dozed off.

Grell also went back to sleep. Hurr.

The next day, L awoke and headed to class without bothering to change his clothes.

Claude was also heading to his own class, and happened to pass L in the hall on the way there- and was then suddenly shoved by another student, who smirked and just walked right past as if nothing happened while Claude staggered and nearly fell over, glaring after the other shinigami.

L whipped around to face the other student, his eyes wide and venomous. "Agh!" He grabbed the student by the shirt and pulled them to eye-level.

"You do not shove into somebody. It is immoral! Do so again and you will have to deal with me." His voice was passive-aggressive, which- compared to his disheveled, insomniac appearance- would hopefully frighten that student.

The student squeaked and pulled themselves away from L, dashing down the hall.

Meanwhile, Claude merely glared after them, sighing lightly as he continued on his way, sending a light glance in L's direction and a tiny smile of thanks, though he didn't say anything.

L did not respond, instead heading to his own respective class. He muttered something about justice as he passed Claude, but otherwise did not acknowledge the other shinigami.

As Claude walked, he then was crashed into by none other than Grell, who was on his way to the classroom.

"Oi! Watch where you're-" Grell began, but then suddenly grinned. "Oh, Claude, hi~!"

Claude sighed and stood, lightly pushing Grell off of him. "Yes, hi, uncle..."

"Where have you been? I havent seen you around much~!"

"...I'm not very social, you know that."

"Well, yeah, but... It's like you disappeared off the face of the Earth!"

"You're overexaggerating..."

"Sutcliff, you have a class to teach," L grunted in Grell's direction as a reminder.

Grell huffed and rolled his eyes, pulling off of Claude. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

"And I have a class to go to.." Claude murmured, pushing his glasses up, an action that was very similar to William. He then brushed past Grell and continued on his way, And Grell turned and headed for the classroom.

L shook his head softly and entered the classroom, kicking off his shoes and sitting in his normal manner in his desk. He awaited instruction from Grell and anticipated the Grell's and Sebastian's date later on.

Grell and L seemed to be the only ones who had arrived so far, so Grell just plopped himself in his chair and waited for the other students, a bored look on his face.

"Claude called you his uncle," L stated plainly. "Explain."

Grell chuckled at that, rolling his eyes. "I'm not his actual uncle," he stated, cocking his head. "I just helped Will raise the kid, and am sort of... an uncle figure, I suppose. More like an aunt, actually, but I'm a man, so. Eh."

"Seems simple enough," L replied. He frowned. "If nobody's coming to class today, then that leaves us more time to work on the Kira case, with you as my puppet. Correct?" Wait- William is Claude's father? The hell is going on? I best not ask.

"I'm not working on that case until after that date.~"

"What were your... conditions.. again?"

"He must kiss me of his own accord. And L, I swear... If I discover that you bribed him into it, I will no longer help you."

"His own accord? I will not need to bribe him- the atmosphere will be quite enough to make him fall absolutely head over heels for you."

"Good then."

"Is it a French kiss you want?"

"...Yep.~"

"Anything else?"

"He has to actually like me."

"And how is he to show this affection?"

"...Well, I'd like for a long-term relationship rather than a one night's date, but that's probably far-fetched."

"And if you get it, you'll work on the Kira case as my marionette?"

"Yes."

"Then the atmosphere shall be most attractive! He will be unable to refuse you."

"Cool." He didn't actually believe any of that one bit. There was no way L would be able to get Sebastian to like him without a bribe.

"Alright. I'm going to leave; I do not want to waste my time here any longer if there are not going to be any more students." With that, L stood and transported himself to England, where he walked into a certain cemetery and sat down at a certain grave. If you follow me, you'll see me grieving Watari. Good luck, Mr. Sutcliff.

Grell stayed in the classroom, bored out of his mind. Apparently the class had decided to all skip training.

Meanwhile, the second half of episode 4 went on with Ciel and Sebby.

L approached Sebastian wherever he was and tugged on the demon's arm. "Sebas-chan," he murmured, "are you ready for your date with Mr. Sutcliff? Please, put on a convincing performance. Also, Grell wants a long-lasting relationship. I have made preparations for this event, so do not worry about that."

It was directly after the beginning of episode 5, and Sebastian was off on his own, while Ciel was likely with Freckles or doing random circus work. When L rugged on his arm, Sebastian glanced over his shoulder, eyes narrowing at the shinigami's words. "You said I had to simply kiss him. You did not mention anything about a long-term relationship," he hissed, eyes flaring. "I refuse to actually call myself that damn shinigami's boyfriend or anything of the sort. I will go on one date with him, and kiss him /once/, as I said. But no more than that."

"He specified what kind of kiss he wanted," L replied slowly, as though speaking to a trauma victim. "He wishes to receive a French kiss." I'm very sorry Mr. Michealis, but I need a puppet to do my bidding.

"...Ryuzaki, I swear, you are going to owe me /so fucking much/ for this..."

"Don't let him know it's a bribe," L replied. "Otherwise he will not work under me on the Kira case."

"...Now you owe me even more."

"I need a puppet, Sebas-chan. Oh, and, if you could perhaps pretend to be his significant other for, say, a week.. that would be wonderful."

"You do realize that the day I leave him and stop pretending, he's going to kick both my ass and yours, right?"

"Yes, but before then, he will give Near all the information necessary in order to catch Kira. I win, in the end."

"He's going to hate you, and I really would rather not put up with an actually angry shinigami out for my blood."

"Ah, do not worry, I can keep him preoccupied with his hatred for me. He won't have time to be out for your blood."

Sebastian sighed, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Fine."

"Ah, wonderful. Come on, then; he's waiting for you." And with that, L began to walk towards the empty wilderness, where he had created quite a setup in a clearing. It was a bed of moss next to a babbling brook, and it was completely candlelit. A small, oak table was set up, and rose petals lay scattered about.

"I told him it was the atmosphere that would make you kiss him," the shinigami whispered to Sebastian. "Please go along that line."

"It is not yet Midnight, I have other business to attend to soon. I don't have time for a date at the moment."

"No," L replied. "No, it isn't midnight yet, but I thought you might like to see where it was beforehand, and what it would look like. I'm giving you time to emotionally prepare yourself."

Sebastian sighed and followed after L. "Honestly, I don't think this is necessary... While I am actually very appalled at the mere thought of dating that reaper, I am quite a good actor."

"We'll see," L replied, brushing aside a tree branch to reveal the set up. "Memorize this location and be here at precisely 12:00 AM."

Sebastian gave a light nod. "Mmkay."

And with that, he turned and left, and more of episode 5 happened.

The Kira case continued as it had in Death Note, with Near and Mello doing their things and Takada and Light doing their's.

Night soon came, and Ciel, Sebastian, and the other troupe members hustled around, carrying things and doing other tasks. After setting down a box, Ciel then sat himself down, panting.

"The question is whether I'll collapse from exhaustion before I check the tents..." he muttered in light annoyance. He then looked up as someone walked past. "Hey! What should I do next- Hm?"

He then caught sight of Sebastian by a rack of clothes, and then darted over to meet up with him.

"Sebastian!" he called out, voice a whisper. "Freckles isn't watching, let's check the tents right now. We'll get it done in ten minutes."

He didn't even care that William was only about a foot away from them.

"Yes, my lord," Sebastian responded in a whisper, bending down by Ciel. The two of them then left the tent they had been in, and were about to dash off, until they were then interrupted by Joker, Peter, and Wendy on Joker's back.

"Black!" Joker called out, dashing up to him. "We've got trouble! Old Wendy's twisted 'er ankle! The show's already on, so I need 'ee to take her place!"

"But surely I'm not a fit substitute..." Sebastian began to protest, but was interrupted.

"Fit and ready, me 'ansom. We'll count on 'ee. 'Ee haven't much time, so be quick!" Joker stated, as he then left Sebastian and Ciel without another word.

"Nothing for it, I'm afraid," Sebastian muttered to Ciel. "We'll have to find another chance, young master."

Ciel didn't respond for a moment, looking thoughtful.

"Young master?"

"We don't know when the next chance will come," Ciel then murmured. "This may be the only time he isn't with me. You may be in the show, but I have some time. The only trouble is the snakes."

He then turned towards Sebastian, after gazing up at the schedule. "Right! Come with me, Sebastian!"

"At once."

and Death Note kept happening.

After only a few minutes, Ciel and Sebastian had gathered up all of the snakes running loose, with Sebastian tying them in knots so that they could not get out of the containers he placed them in.

"That's all of them," the demon then announced, turning to face Ciel.

"According to the program, your act ends at 7:50 and the encore is at 8:00, so you have about a ten minute window," Ciel then stated.

"To do what?"

"As soon as your act ends, release all of these snakes and go back for the encore. I'll look through their tents."

"Will you be alright by yourself?"

"Fine. Now get back to the show tent- They'll be suspicious if you're late."

"Very good, my lord."

And with that, Sebastian turned to leave, while Ciel went to go search the tents.

Soon, Sebastian found himself staring straight into the eyes of William, and neither of them looked very pleased.

"I thought Miss Wendy was the only one injured?" Sebastian then piped up, voice slightly distressed.

"Right, but old Peter obviously can't hold your weight!" Dagger responded.

"I don't see why I should have to pair with you," William bitterly stated, once again messing with his glasses.

"I don't like it either, but it can't be helped," Sebastian responded with a sigh.

"Honestly, I can't believe I have to collaborate with such vermin."

And stuff kept happening in the Death Note world.

And then the rest of episode 5 happened, which... went past midnight, leaving a very annoyed, ditched Grell.

L went up to Sebastian at the end of it all. "Thanks to you, Grell will not be my puppet," he hissed. His grey eyes were venomous.

It was right after Sebastian's encounter with William, and before seducing Beast. When the shinigami approached him, Sebastian turned to glare at him, eyes narrowed. "Apologies, Ryuzaki, but my master's health and orders come before your wishes. Tell Grell that I will come another time, the circumstances were rather important. My master has fallen ill from an asthma attack, and has also ordered me to investigate something tonight. As a demon under a contract, I must abide by his orders, as well as watch out for his health."

"You are a demon, Mr. Michealis. You can run very fast; notifying me of this arrangement would have been appreciated."

"Well, so sorry for remaining by my master's bedside when he needed me. I literally just left the tent less than 20 minutes ago and had to put up with that damn shinigami with the hedge trimmer trying to block my way."

"Great. I need to solve the Kira case. Go on a date with Grell tonight, or I will not be happy."

"I have no time!" Sebastian snapped, baring his teeth. "Look, tell Grell I'll do it another time, these are serious circumstances. Besides, I'm not getting any payment for this, so be happy I'm willing to do it at all. But my master's orders are first priority."

"Alright." L turned and took off to wherever Grell was.

The shinigami poked the red-haired male. "Mr. Sutcliff, Mr. Michealis will go on a date with you soon. He is distraught with missing it, but his master's health takes priority."

Grell huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell even happened that caused him to miss it?"

"Mr. Phantomhive is ill," L replied simply.

Grell snorted at that, rolling his eyes. "Whatever. What's the new time?"

And meanwhile, Sebastian was fucking Beast for information.

"Tomorrow night." L was serious. "Tomorrow night, same site."

"Alright then~!" Grell chirped. "Lookin' forward to it.~"

L nodded and took off to alert Sebastian of the new time.

However, when he saw what the demon was doing, he immediately froze. "Uh, Mr. Michealis?..."

Sebastian completely ignored the shinigami's presence, and continued to fuck Beast.

L frowned a bit. "You're doing it wrong," he commented. "You seem to have no understanding whatsoever of how to do it properly." He stuck a thumb in his mouth and shoved the other hand into his pocket. "And she doesn't seem to be liking it, either."

Sebastian continued to completely ignore the shinigami, continuing the fuck Beast. As Sebastian saw it, L had no idea wtf he was talking about.

"Idiot." L turned and walked away. "You are to go on a date with Mr. Sutcliff tonight. No loopholes. Please do not be late." He stuffed both hands into his pockets and tottered outside.