A/N:

Mamie is sorry for updating 'My All Is In You' so late. I spent the first week or so writing chapter 3, was dissatisfied with it and started from scratch again. Afterward, I had to study for my Grade 5 Piano exam, and in order to appease my Mother, for that week I did not even touch my computer, let alone work on the story. I didn't actually start working on this final version until two and a half weeks in. Well, I hope this is satisfactory to you, the reader at least.

BETA: eternalsnow-chrys

What Donghae did next, he knew he would regret for the rest of his life, but he couldn't care less. All he knew was that she was there. Right there. Mere inches away from him. He knew he needed to get closer, and he used all his remaining strength to lean in no matter how much it killed him to do so, finally closing the gap between them. Leaning in, he kissed her. Closed lipped, it was a chaste kiss, connecting them to each other. How he had missed this. Missed her. He poured everything that he had kept bottled up through all those years of separation into that simple kiss. All of his heart. All of his soul. All of his love. It took him so long to realize that this was what he wanted all long. All he had ever wanted was her. His passion for her increased ten fold. It may have started out innocently but things began to heat up. He couldn't think straight. His mind was in a blur. All he knew was that he wanted her. Badly. Like a man, Donghae took charge of the situation. He deepened the kiss, making her feel every emotion he had felt ever since she left. Practically every emotion under the sun: there were the bad ones like anger, sadness, bewilderment but they were outweighed by the good; happiness, longing, love, affection, even relief. His hands were roaming everywhere, but much to his surprise she didn't move to stop him. They were on her cheek. On her waist. In that lively head of hair. Anywhere and everywhere. He just needed proof that she was real. That she was here to stay. Kan Minyoung. Kan Minyoung. Kan Minyoung. In his head, he kept repeating her name as if he were to stop, she would disappear. He absolutely refused to let go. This time she couldn't escape him. This time things would be different. He desperately wanted to believe that it would be alright, that anything that had happened in the past could be forgotten with this one kiss.

They paused only when their desperate need for air stopped them from continuing. But the break lasted mere seconds before Donghae was at it again. Donghae wanted more. No - he needed more. He just couldn't get enough. It didn't matter to him that it happened to be in a filthy, litter-covered alleyway, nor was he bothered that he had, out of nowhere, only just seen her for the first time in three years. Ramming your face into someone else's, without a single word said between them, wasn't the most formal way to greet someone. But then again their relationship wasn't the most formal one either.

It wasn't formal to spontaneously hug someone you've only just met. Which coincidently, was how Donghae introduced himself to Minyoung over 7 years ago, when he was 16 and she was 13. It wasn't what westerners called 'Love at first sight' but there was something about her that drew him in to her. Hell, there was something about her that drew practically drew everyone to her. But then again, she was, and Donghae quote (his memory wasn't the best in the world but he could clearly remember thinking this), the loveliest thing he ever did see. And to this day, she still is.

Donghae finally pulled away from her after what seemed like one long, never ending passionate embrace. Their breathing was ragged after the long periods away from earth. The only air that they needed was each other. They stopped expressing their desire for each other in the physical sense and instead, brought their connection to a visual level. She just looked at him with those piercing honey brown eyes. That was all she could do. Stare. Minyoung just realized that this was the first time she had clearly seen Donghae's face in what seemed like forever. Sure, she had seen Donghae's image every now and then whenever she passed a SPAO ad or on other billboards. But here he was. In the flesh. Had he always been this handsome? Or does the photos not do any justice to his looks? She brought her hand up from its resting place and gently touched the face looking back at her. Tracing his jaw line, she looked on mesmerized by him. She noticed every mark on his face, memorizing the exact image of perfection.

Donghae had changed a lot from that awkward teenage boy she had met on her first day as an SM trainee. His features had grown stronger upon reaching his early twenties, his face longer and his muscles broader. Now he was a proper gentlemen. Someone who bought their girlfriend's fancy deserts like creme brûlée or chocolate soufflé with truffles at five star restaurants, not street vendor dough fish pastries. Gone were the days when Lee Donghae would buy red bean paste ice cream filled bungeoppang for her whenever she wished. Donghae was always such a hopeless romantic, just like an innocent schoolboy in love. He mirrored a lost puppy. Maybe that's why it was called "puppy love" (albeit in his case it was better to describe it as "fishy" love). But it looks like time had changed him...or maybe not. Because when she looked into those eyes, those innocent childlike eyes, she saw the man who she fell in love with. The person who she could talk to anytime day or night (but more often then not it was usually the other way around) when she was feeling blue, red, yellow, green, or any other color of the rainbow. The person who would be resting on her shoulders every chance he got. The person who loved her like crazy... and whom she loved just as much in return. Minyoung was speechless. What else could she say? I need you. I miss you. I love you. I love you a thousand times over.

Wait a minute - this was too deep. Like Donghae said upon their first reunion 'You're not what I need in my life, right now'. At 20 years of age, things changed from what you see as an 18-year-old freshman at university. In Minyoung's case things seemed less bright. It's definitely true that as time goes by and one grows older, more mature, the burdens in which one carries on one's shoulders grow heavier; this was especially true if you were Kan Minyoung. Minyoung has always had a busy, if not hard, life. As the eldest of five children, she was expected to be responsible not only for her well being but that of her siblings as well. When she still lived in Chunceon, she'd always dropped Shinhwa off at school right on time, even at her own expense with her dismal school attendance. To this day, to a certain degree, she still took Shinhwa to school. Minyoung never had the perfect life. She may have had it slightly worse than the other people but she was not poor. Her parents had raised her to the best of their abilities, and, to her, they did a splendid job. It was just difficult with five children to be able to provide the best of everything. Five children to put through University was a daunting task, especially with their low pay. If possible, and it was a one way street on the matter, they wanted Shinhwa, their eldest son and Minyoung's younger brother, to go through university and get a good job, a good future. But Minyoung had dreams too, dreams that required a becoming a university graduate. She didn't want to be a burden on her parents so she started looking for others ways to get her way in. She had the smarts for it, she may not have inherited the intelligence in the family like Shinhwa did but she was smart enough to always make the top 10 in the grade, top 25 in the school. She desperately wanted to go, so it motivated her to try harder. Going to University was the main factor in pushing her to become an SM trainee. She had heard a rumor that the company would help their trainees or idols pay their tuition fees. Even when she was forced to cancel her contract with SM and returned back to the life of an average student, she still aspired to getting a better education, leaving Chuceon for the second time to attend school in Seoul. Not wanting to be a nuisance, she paid her own fees by working a flexible job every weekend. Juggling the two were easy and Minyoung lived a comfortable if not good life.

But that all changed last year when Shinhwa graduated high school. Top of the school too, as was expected of Shinhwa. He was even able to get into Seoul National University, the best of the best in all of Korea. She was ecstatic when she heard that he would be coming to Seoul. Out of all her siblings, Minyoung was closest to Shinhwa. They were the closest in age and in looks as well. Of the five Kan children, only Minyoung and Shinhwa inherited their looks from their Mother. Minyeon, Shinjae and Minah all looked like their Father; fulled lipped and longed faced. While the elder two had pointed noses, large eyes and fine mouths like their Mother. Even though she was the eldest of the bunch, Minyoung knew that Shinhwa would always be placed before her in her parents eyes and she accepted it, naturally. That's why she always put Shinhwa's needs above that of her own.

And that's why when Shinhwa started attending Seoul National University, she took full responsibility for his tuition. She wanted him to focus on his studies instead of worrying about money. She started working more days and for longer hours. It got harder to focus in class, she was always so tired. The teachers were always scolding her for getting behind on assignments and for not paying enough attention on the lessons. All that she could really think of was money. Everything boiled down to money. Money. Money. Money. She just couldn't handle the stress of both a full time (and plus some) job and university life. She couldn't do it. She just couldn't. It was inevitable that she'd have to quit one of them. It's just was unfortunate that it had to be her gateway to a better future... not that that would be too long, after all. But she never regretted it, not for a single second. If that was what it would take to get Shinhwa a better life, then Minyoung would do it again, over a million times if she had too, in a heart beat.

It was Shinhwa and not Donghae that ruled her life now. Where Donghae had left a gaping hole in her heart, she had gradually replaced with familial love. Father. Mother. Shinhwa. Minyeon. Shinjae. Minah. Even though they were miles apart, Minyoung kept them close to her heart. But the same could be said of Donghae. Not a day had gone by where she didn't think about him. About that stupid adolescent smile. About that smug boyish face. How did she ever fall in love with such a man? That was probably a question she'd never be able to answer. But one way or another, the very plain and simple point of the matter was that she was and still is, very much so, in love with him.'We Two Belong Together'

What was she thinking? Donghae thought. Her eyes were distant. Distracted. What was she thinking when she decided to enter the dimly lit alleyway? What was she thinking when she thinking when she saw him? What was she thinking when she kissed him? What was she thinking when she touched him? What was thinking now? What in the world could she be thinking of?

"I love you," he whispered without thinking any further, bringing the repose to a close. That was what she was thinking. That was what was on the tip of her tongue. Three simple words. I. Love. You. Why was it so hard for her just to say that? The truth lay in their two separate personalities. Donghae knew that he loved her from the first day that they had been dance partners, a few months into her SM training. She took a little longer to come round. It took another eight months before Donghae's feelings were reciprocated. They were compatible in that regard, she cooled his fiery hot, childish personality with her rationality and maturity while he brought liveliness and spontaneity into that simple [dreary] life of hers.

Look at me. look only at me. She didn't. It was so like her not to. Evasive as ever. Minyoung shook her head but there was no hard evidence behind it. It didn't matter at all. She could deny it for all eternity but Donghae would never give up hope that she did still love him. She knew. He knew. And she knew that he knew. She was just unsure. So unsure. What would it take to make her feel that feeling again? Taking her hand into his, he entwined their fingers together. Can you feel the connection you and I share? Do you know what this is? Do you know what keeps my heart beating every day? Do you know what drives me to the verge of insanity only to bring me back to salvation? This isn't some frenzied lust. It can't be put out like a smoldering fire. It won't change over time. Do you know what this is? This is love. Love is happiness. Love is bliss. Love is - pain. Donghae groaned when the open wound on his hand began stinging like mad. It felt as if hand was on fire.

"My God, Donghae, what happened to you?" Minyoung screeched when she noticed the pain marked on his face.

"Please don't make me lie to you," Donghae answered back through gritted teeth. He balled his hand his hand tightly into a fist, trying to put some pressure on the wound.

"Donghae, stay still, okay? You need help. I'm going to go call for an ambulance."

"- Don't! Please don't. If the press finds out that the police were involved they'll have a field day. It'll cause a scandal...not that we can avoid that now."

"Well then what, Donghae, what am I suppose to do?"

"Can you get me back to the SM building? I can get help there."

"Are you crazy? It's on the other side of town!" she protested, taking a look at her watch then at the empty streets outside the alley. She didn't know why she was still harping on the fact that someone - anyone - would walk by so that she could ask for help, but the least she could do was to hope, was it not?

"Please, Minyoung-ah..." he pleaded again with a pained voice, and Minyoung finally felt her heart crumble and soften at his intonation.

"Am I a burden to you?" Donghae questioned as he settled down into the relatively uncomfortable bus seat. It was the first time in a long time that he had taken any form of public transport, since he would usually be ferried around in the group's van or driving his own car around town. But he couldn't complain about it, nor ring his members up, as he really didn't want to cause his group members to worry about him. He

"What do you mean? Literally or figuratively speaking?" Minyoung shot back with a question of her own. She set to work on examining the various cuts, wounds and bruises that covered Donghae's body, finding a strange sadistic pleasure in seeing him jump slightly when she pressed particularly hard on one of the more serious injuries. It's his own fault anyways for refusing proper medical attention. "Literally as in I had to drag your lazy butt all the way to the bus station or figuratively as in I had to beg on my hands and knees to convince the bus driver to allow you to get on the bus," Minyoung amended her answer when she figured out that Donghae wasn't going to speak up anytime soon. He was busy staring at her, that much she knew, for she could feel his intense gaze boring holes into her.

Donghae was taken aback by Minyoung's snarky comment. Clever was one way to describe it. Funny was another. He flashed her a small smile as he attempted to hide his laughter. "Hehe... Both," he mumbled between piano soft chuckles. "Minyoung-ah, I'd like to thank you for being so kind to me. But I really have to ask you, how on Earth did you find me?"

"Just pure luck. I usually get off work at around midnight but today a co-worker of mine had to leave early because her daughter was ill and desperately needed to see a doctor. I agreed to cover for her so I stayed a little later than I normally would have. On any normal day I would have walked right past that place without a single glance."

"Why are you up so late? Shouldn't you be at home tucked comfortably away in your downy bed or pulling an all nighter studying for an exam you have tomorrow? Don't you have class tomorrow?"

"I dropped out of University a couple of months ago," she admitted silently, hoping that he wouldn't inquire further about the matter. But that proved to be futile, because the question she would've liked to avoid came up just moments later.

"What? But without a post-secondary education you could end up with -" he started, only to be cut off abruptly by Minyoung.

"A sixteen-hour job for low pay. Yeah, I'm totally living the American dream."

"I thought you were better than to suddenly quit on all of your dreams just like that," he commented quietly, not realising what he had just said until Minyoung suddenly placed extra pressure on the newest wound she was examining. He hissed when the searing pain flared through his senses.

"I thought that you were better than to get yourself in serious trouble like this!"

This last comment broke the straw. It shut Donghae up. Hell, it shut the both of them up. He didn't realize that as their conversation progressed, his voice slower got louder until he was nearly screaming at her. All his pent up anger towards each other exploded into this one discussion. What he put out into words was only a (10x) censored version of what he meant to say. Beneath his calm reserve, he was fuming with rage. But that was to be expected. Did Donghae honestly expect things to be all peaches and cream after a separation of so many years? Obviously not.

But as loud as things were, it was completely different now. Their dance had hit its crescendo and now everything was silent. Neither one of them willing to saying a word, in case, should they resume, the violence should start once more. In Donghae's case it wasn't because he was angry at her (How could he ever be angry at her? She was perfect. Absolutely perfect). In actuality, he was more angry at himself. He was ashamed of how things turned out between them. He blamed himself for everything that had ever gone wrong with Minyoung. Over the past years, Donghae had only ever caused her imbedded trouble. If it wasn't for him then she might have been the leader of Generation by now. If it wasn't for him than she might have stayed in University. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't have to work so hard (not that it was considerably better to be an idol) on back-breaking labor. He hated himself for what he did to her. So afraid was he of seeing himself that he didn't dare look her in the eye lest he saw his image reflected in her weary face.

Donghae pondered telling Minyoung what actually happened to him. But what if that only caused Minyoung to worry more? Well, it couldn't be worst than the state she was in now. She was biting so hard on her lip that he was afraid that at any moment her teeth would break through the thin layer skin and blood would come rushing forth. She always had a bad habit of inflicting self pain when she was particularly troubled by something. All he had ever wanted to do, from the very first moment he saw her, was to protect her, but look at where that had gotten her. Donghae could feel her pain; he had a gift for this sort of thing. He could feel every nerve cell in her body that screamed out in pain. He wanted to make all the hurt stop. If he could, he would go back in time and change things - one of them was to prevent her from actually leaving. But that was impossible and all Donghae could do now was trying to make things better. Try to make things right. And the only way to patch back a broken heart is to tell the truth.

"I got into a fight." Donghae blurted out, still avoiding Minyoung's gaze. It elicited a sharp gasp from the girl seated next to him.

"Boy, are you nuts?" Minyoung screeched. "Idiot, Look at me!" She pulled him close so that he could see the extreme disappointment that she felt. Donghae couldn't look away even if he wanted to. "A fight? Really? But why? How? Why would you ever -" she began, but caught her tongue when something struck her as obvious. Now it was Minyoung's turn to look away. "Was she pretty?" she asked quietly, not really wanting to hear what he had to say about the girl. She didn't want to hear her heart shattering.

"... Yeah. Very." he answered with an equally quiet tone.

"Figures."

"First date too. Turned out she had a boyfriend. And he ... well, you know..."

"So you were used?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he sighed, realising his own stupidity for the first time that night.

"Figures. You always had bad taste in women."

At first Donghae didn't react. He just sat there focusing on the front of the bus. But when it did hit him, he just couldn't control himself. It was as if he had just inhaled copious amounts of laughing gas. Donghae burst out laughing like some blundering idiot. That was God damned funny! When it came to the honest-to-God truth, Minyoung never left anything untouched. She never sugar coated things even when the thing in question was herself. He laughed until his sides began to ache. Until his mouth was stuck in a perpetual 'O' shape as he gasped for needed oxygen. Donghae made several attempts to calm himself down, all the while covering his face so that Minyoung wouldn't be able to see what his contorted face looked like. His laughter was getting so out of hand that he was literally spinning around on his seat, throwing his head every which way as if it were a noodle. It still amazed him how she still managed to outwit him like that. "Yeah, I guess so. Maybe it's because I keep falling for the 'humorous' type," he answered back, over-exaggerating the syllables.

Now Donghae knew that laughter was contagious (He didn't spend weeks of his life filming Explorations of the Human Body for nothing) but he didn't know how well it worked. Before long, Minyoung was shaking uncontrollably with hysteria from her "awesome" pun. Well, maybe it wasn't because of her joke that she was grinning so broadly. Donghae had to admit; he looked incredibly stupid right now. Then again most people looked "unpleasant" when they were laughing their ass off. But not Minyoung. She was beautiful no matter what she did. From Donghae's point of view, she actually looked prettier when she laughed. The entire time he had been with her, not once did a smile come across her face. It was like a glass doll, beauty defined in one moment. One look. One expression. Her face stayed the same no matter what. And even when she "smiled" it wasn't real. Without real emotion, real enjoyment, real pleasure, a smile was just the ends of your mouth curling upwards. No, a smile had to be genuine. That's what Lee Donghae grew up to believe. It's unbelievable how lovely she looked when she smiled. Like actually smiled.

That small smile that she gave him on the bus spoke to him. Although he couldn't go back in time and change the past, there was some for hope for the future. Sure, it was small. But, boy, was it magnificent. That tiny, minuscule grain of hope lay within that smile of hers. "From this day forward, I promise to keep the fire that is your loving smile burning forever."

"Goodbye,"

Those words caught Donghae completely off guard. Goodbye. She was leaving already? But they had only just met! How could Minyoung already have to go? How much time had past between them? Seconds, maybe? It felt so fast. He was trapped within this make believe dream world of his and now he was being cruelly awakened.

"What?" he whispered, morely to himself than her, in disbelief. The moments that Minyoung had spent with him on the rickety old bus had brought him the peace in his life that had left him so horribly disoriented. Now that the storm was over, the captain could retire.

"This is where I'm going to have to leave you. This is my stop. I have to catch the next bus home, the last one of the day, or else I have to walk to the entire way home. Donghae-ah, take this bus for two more stops, then get off. It's only a block away from the SM building. Okay?"

"Yes," Donghae replied mindlessly trailing off at the end. He was still in shock.

Minyoung smiled a little when she realized that Donghae quit responding. He was just too cute! He was probably in shock. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "You didn't expect me to stay with you the entire Time, did you?"

Yes!

"No, I suppose so not..."
Her attempt to lighten the mood did little to bring him out of his stupor.

"Well then," Minyoung said, holding out her hand. "I guess this is goodbye."

Donghae took her hand hold heartedly with an unnaturally strong grasp. He didn't want to let go. He felt that if he did then he'd be letting her go forever. But eventually he did. He had to.

"Promise me you won't get into any more fights."

Donghae nodded reluctantly.

The bus came to its usual slow lurch as it came to a stop and Minyoung got off.

"Seeya around, Hae!" Minyoung called out one last time before getting onto the bus ahead. This was different from all the other times she had left him. Unlike the other times, she didn't run out on him. In this situation, it was more like she was walking out. She wasn't abandoning him, like all those times before. She was - she was ... letting him go.

The engine of the light green bus revved up above as it pulled out of the corner. Slowly but surely it was moving away. Widening the gap between the two lovers. Was this the end? Was this the last time he would ever see her? Was this the last time that he would ever see that smile of hers? Was this the last time she would ever see that amazing face of hers? Hell no - he wasn't going to lose her again. Not this time.

Mustering up all that of his recuperated strength, he dashed off of the bus and chased after her. It didn't matter to him that his limbs were on the verge of falling off. That his lungs were about to burst. He needed her and nothing, not anything or anyone, was going to stop him. No matter who cursed him, no matter what anyone says, it could only ever be her. Even if his heart was on fire or his dry lips wore out, it could only ever be her. 'There is no need for any other, it's only you I want.'

The ending was un-BETAed by Aya (eternalsnow-chrys). I got too impatient for her to edit my ending so I'm sorry if it's a lower quality than what you're use to. I might fix up this chapter once Aya sends in the BETAed ending but who knows? Just know that Mamie did her best and will update soon...ish.