Elphaba couldn't help but think that this was how someone who was walking to their own execution must feel. She and Fiyero had sat in silence for a long time, horrified not only that they had been found out, but they had both hurt a person who they both cared cared for. Eventually, she got up, without looking at him. She walked out of his room, walking slowly to her own room, hoping she would give Boq enough time to say whatever he needed to say.
The door was locked and she had left her key inside. She groaned as she knocked on the door, fully prepared to spend the night sleeping in the hallway. "Galinda? Would you please let me in? I left my key on my desk. We need to talk."
There was a shuffling inside, and a few minutes later Galinda stood there, her face tear stained. She wouldn't meet Elphaba's eye, simply turning her back on her and returning to her frilly pink bed.
"Galinda, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for all of that to happen. You have to understand that. I would never hurt you on purpose. I never meant to betray you." She crossed the room to sit on her own bed, watching her friend's back. "It's just... It hasn't been easy. I was always alone. And then Fiyero was there. Galinda, you can't understand, so loved all of your life. And that's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. But... but Fiyero, he... for once in my life I didn't feel like some freak. I felt human, I felt normal. I felt beautiful."
Galinda chose that moment to roll over, stare at her through wet eyes. "I bet you felt real beautiful, didn't you? Sleeping with someone else's boyfriend."
"We didn't sleep together. I... He would never make me do... anything I wasn't ready for."
The blonde scoffed. "Yes, how saintly of him. He waited for you to be ready. How noble. Cheat on your girlfriend with her homely best friend, but don't sleep with her because she isn't ready. Yes, that makes it so much better! I should forgive the both of you. Sew your wedding dress, bake the cake. Because you love him and he loves you, and that makes it all OK. Doesn't matter he was taken. Doesn't matter it was behind my back. Because you're in love." She rolled over, giving her back to Elphaba, ending the conversation.
"I'm not asking you to forgive me," Elphaba said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I just want you to understand." Morning was a long time in coming.
Fiyero tossed and turned the rest of the night, and the next morning he was a wreck. He would've skipped class, but he had to see Elphaba. But of course, that was the one day Elphaba, who had once come to class with a fever of one hundred and two, didn't show up to class. Galinda was there, but she wouldn't look at him. She had a bubble of her prissy, fake friends sitting in a circle around her.
After the professor finally let them go, Fiyero made a beeline for the girls' dorm, glad Galinda and her friends went in the other direction. He knocked on the door whose nameplate read Elphaba's name. "Fae? It's me."
After a long minute, her tired voice called out, "It's unlocked."
He opened the door. She was curled up in her bed, a book beside her. It was easy to see her eyes were red from crying. "Hey... I figured we should talk." He sat down on her bed with her, but she scooted away from him.
"Fiyero, I can't do this anymore," she said, so soft he had to strain to hear, and her chocolate brown eyes looked sad for multiple reasons.
He frowned. "But why, Elphaba? Shouldn't things be easier now? I want to be with you. I mean it."
She shook her head. "It's not that... It's... Fiyero, what we did was wrong on so many levels. It's not right... I don't deserve love after what I did to Galinda."
"But it wasn't just you! I was there too."
"I know that. But Galinda is, no, I suppose it's was, my only friend. After what I did to her..." She shifted uncomfortably, wishing the whole situation would go away. "And you were wrong too. And how can I be sure you wouldn't do the same thing to me as you did to her?" There, she said it. The fear that had been in the back of her head the whole time.
He was shocked. "Fae, I would never..."
She pressed a finger against his lips, cutting him off, gently. There was no malice in her tone which contradicted her words. "Save it. What are you going to say that can make cheating on your girlfriend OK?" Her throat swelled as she tried to choke back suppressed emotion. "Did you love her?"
"No!"
She bit her lip. His response clearly hadn't helped his cause any. "Then why didn't you just break up with her when you..." she shook her head and he could see tears threatening to spill over. "Why didn't you break up with her when you realized you loved me?"
"Fae, no." He tried to reach for her arm, but she shook him off. He had no idea why he hadn't broken up with Galinda before. It just... No, no he couldn't rationalize it. He stood there as he watched Elphaba walk away, vaguely hearing her cry once she thought she was out of earshot.
He felt sick. He felt like scum for what he had done to Galinda, and what he had done to Elphaba, too. He told himself that this was for the better. This would allow him to start over. To meet someone new and do the right thing. He would be just fine without Elphaba, in time.
Wouldn't he?