A/N. Ok bit of a change from the previous chapter 4 but it just really wasn't working with this story so I think I'll make it into a story all by itself. Apologies to those who read it, hope this isn't too confusing. Thanks.

Chapter 4

Olivia sighed as she locked her apartment door behind her and leant against the closed door. Slowly she slid down until she could feel the solid floor beneath her. She sighed deeply and ran a shaking hand through her hair. She was finally alone. She could let go of the pretense, she didn't need to hold her self together for anyone. She was tired. Avoiding Fin all day, ignoring Elliot's looks of concern as well as her own thoughts was exhausting. She didn't know how long she could keep it up. The pointed looks she'd been getting from Fin had scared her . She knew she couldn't ignore him forever but she was damn well gonna try. Olivia knew that Elliot had seen Fin staring at her and kept trying to catch her eye. He looked at her all day with a look of concern mixed with confusion. She was worried that he was going to figure it out. She had to try better at hiding her feelings. Elliot could never see her break down.

Olivia looked around her apartment. It was a mess. She needed to clear up but she just didn't have the energy. Right now all she wanted to do was curl up on the floor. She could see the empty bottle of wine under the couch and the half drunk glass on the table….This was what her life had become. Drinking to numb the pain. Sleeping with random men to ease the ache of being alone. She was turning into her mother. She was just the same as her. Olivia felt so ashamed. Her mother was right. She was worthless, no one was ever going to love her. She was used, dirty. The one thing that had stopped her from becoming her mother and been shattered. She was a victim and now no amount of perps she put away was going to change that. Maybe it was fate. She was conceived out of hate. Her mother was abusive, her father was a violent criminal. She really didn't have much hope of ever being normal. The job that she had taken upon herself to do to try and the fight the nightmares had finally turned on her.

For the first time since she'd left the basement Olivia let herself cry. She cried for her mother, she cried for all the victims and she cried for herself.

Elliot looked up from his paperwork and checked his watch. God it was late, later than he had planned on staying but he'd been caught leaving. The captain wanted the paperwork finished on the Hughes case but he didn't want to call Olivia back to help him finish it so he'd finished it himself. Standing up he stretched out his cramped muscles. He felt all the bones down his back clicking. Tonight he felt his age. The lack of sleep over the past few days was finally catching up on him. He grabbed the files and walked into his Captains office. He dumped the files on the desk and headed out. He switched off his computer and grabbed his coat. He'd already called Kathy and told her he'd been caught up at work. She wasn't expecting him home tonight so he was free to go to Olivia's.

He couldn't take it anymore. He watched her all day as she had avoided Fin. Something was going on between the two of them and he needed to find out what it was. He was going to confront her tonight. He couldn't help but feel like he was losing her. And he couldn't not again.

Elliot stood by the elevator and pressed the button for down just as the doors opened. Elliot was surprised to see Fin staring back at him.

"Hey Fin, what ya still doing here? Thought you and Munch left." Elliot noticed that Fin was looking extremely uncomfortable. He knew Fin's demeanour was rarely something light but this was different. He looked lost.

Fin had got as far as the bar down the road and downed a few shots before deciding to head back to the station. He'd been hoping to catch Elliot before he left. He knew he had to talk to him about Olivia. She'd avoided him all day. He knew she was embarrassed by what he'd seen and so was he but she needed someone and as much as he wished it was him he knew he wasn't what or who she needed right now. She would kill him but enough was enough. If she wasn't going to he was going to tell Elliot himself. The man needed to be there for his partner whether she wanted him or not.

Fin took a deep breath. "Yeah Elliot, look man I need to talk to you about something." Elliot tried to move past Fin into the elevator but Fin stood in front of him.

"Look I was just heading out. Can it wait till tomorrow?" That was enough. Fin was fed up with Elliot's behaviour. He was a selfish bastard and he was done placating him. He grabbed Elliot's arm and felt the man tense under him.

"No it can't wait. It's about Olivia and you are gonna listen." Fin watched something in Elliot's shift. The anger slid over the mans face. Before Fin knew what was happening he was up against the all in the lift. Elliot's arm at his throat.

"What have you done to her. I swear to god if you've hurt her I will kill you!"

Fin pushed back and grabbed Elliot in a head lock.

"Fuck you Stabler try looking in a mirror once in a while. If it wasn't for Liv I would fucking pound you right now but as much as it pains me I need you. So you're gonna listen." Fin squeezed his arm tighter round Elliot's throat. He could feel Elliot trying to struggle out his grip but Fin knew a thing or two about subduing, even people as big and angry as Elliot Stabler. He hadn't worked narcotics all those years without learning a thing or two.

"Fuck you Fin. What did you do? "

"Jesus Stabler. Have you even seen her lately. Do you even have a fucking clue what's going on? She's hurting man and where have you been? It's not me that's hurt her. I've been trying to help her." Fin felt Elliot stop struggling.

"What do you know?"

"If I let you go you gonna be sensible or you gonna be a dick?"

"Let me the fuck up Fin." Fin released him but kept his hands up. Elliot shook himself down and turn to Fin. Fire blazing in his eyes. "I said what the FUCK do you know?" Fin relaxed his arms and reached for the elevator button for the basement.

"Not here. You and me we're gonna take a walk."

"Don't dick me around Fin, if you know something you better tell me."

"I'm gonna tell you but I'm not doing it here. We need somewhere more private and in the middle of the station is not my idea of private." The lift stopped and the bottom floor and Fin led Elliot out first. "You're driving."

Elliot gave Fin a dark look and headed to his car. "Where am I going?"

Fin paused and stared at Elliot's back. "We're going to Liv's." He watched as Elliot stopped walking. He threw a glance over his shoulder at Fin, suspicion written all over his face before he turned back and started walking to his car. Fin wasn't sure but he could have sworn he heard Elliot mutter 'That's where I was going anyway.'

The drive to Olivia was silent. Fin refused to answer any of Elliot's questions. He could feel the mans rage rolling off him in waves. As they drove closer to Olivia's Fin felt hi stomach clench. Was he doing the right thing. Should he tell Elliot before he got there. He wanted Olivia to tell him.

"I've been here."

Elliot pulled the car up in front of Olivia building. He glanced up at her apartment. The lights were on but the curtains were shut. He could see movement from inside. He knew she was in there. He looked at Fin and saw him staring at him.

"You asked earlier where I've been…I've been here. Almost every night for the past month. I just sit here. I can't go up there. I don't know what's wrong. I hoped that she would come to me but she hasn't. I was gonna confront her tonight. This is where I was going."

"I don't know what to say to that."

"I want to help her but if I don't know what's wrong how can I?"

Elliot saw the resolve on Fin's face. "Well you're gonna find out tonight." Before Elliot could say anything Fin was out of the car and heading towards Olivia's building. Elliot rushed after him. He was finally gonna get some answers.