Chapter three: April, 2004

"You want me to do what?" Alex groped at a far corner of her locker, looking for her Geography notebook in vain.

"Please?" Paige was like some sort of begging jumping bean beside her, shifting from foot to foot with excess energy.

Alex ruled the notebook a lost cause, and finally turned to look at her. "Paige, do you realize what today is?"

"Um, Friday? Which you have off, while your favorite coworker does not?" God, Alex should have stayed in the safety of her locker. She wouldn't be able to refuse Paige anything if she kept looking at her with those bright, hopeful puppy eyes.

"Paige," Alex stressed, determined to stand her ground. Alex would not give in so Paige could go on a date. She would not. "This is opening weekend for Kill Bill. The theater's gonna be hell, and I already have to work until close tomorrow."

"But Alex, Dean invited me to this party." Paige explained this grave fact as though Alex was supposed to have any idea who Dean actually was.

"Wait, I thought you had a thing with Spinner the lovesick tonight? That's what you said an hour ago, when you begged me to cover for you the first time."

When they'd initially begun working together, Alex had toyed with the possibility of being diplomatic about Paige's friends. Now, two months later, she'd wholeheartedly abandoned that pretense. Paige would - and frequently did - let her know if she'd crossed a line. This was not crossing a line as much as stating the truth, which Paige was perfectly aware of.

Guilt crawled across Paige's face, but only for a second. "I'll reschedule with him, it's no big deal." Her eyes flicked away from Alex, who found that she spoke Paige well enough by now to know this was her attempting to be evasive.

"You remind me why I hate romantic comities."

"I'll make a convert out of you yet." Paige's smile was back in full force, undoubtedly sensing that Alex was weakening. "You just haven't seen the right one."

"who is Dean, anyway?"

"that really hot soccer player."

"Oh of course," Alex drawled. "My mistake. How did I forget him?" Paige rolled her eyes, but her smile stayed in place.

Alex was used to seeing her in lust. Normally, it was easy to tease her about. Today however, Alex found herself feeling genuinely annoyed with Paige, for no discernible reason. Alex tried to chock it up to the fact the blond was asking her to cover at the last minute, even though it wasn't like she had anything better to do. It was either work, or hang out with the punk twins and avoid her home until her mom and flavor of the week passed out for the evening.

"You're cleaning the popcorn machine for the next week."

Paige let out a half sort of squeal, and hugged her enthusiastically. Alex was surrounded by grapefruit and something else, a soft warm scent that was unique to Paige's skin. There was also the unavoidable press of Paige's breasts against her, and Alex couldn't lie to herself any longer.

Because really, she was just a fucking masochist who lived for moments like this.

XXX

"Ash?" Coma chick Teri was standing at their lunch table. Alex and Teri had never officially met, but Degrassi was too small of a school for them not to know of each other. Alex had never asked for the sorted details on Teri's accident. There were rumors of an abusive relationship, but there were rumors about people in severe situations every week.

Since Teri's return to school in March, things had been a little better between Ashley and the Paige posse. They would smile in the halls, or work together in class, a far cry from a few months ago when they were completely freezing her out.

Alex tried to remind herself of that side of Paige on days like this. for as bubbly and funny as the blond was, she could also be calculating and cold. She was very likely only using Alex for personal gain.

"Hey Ter," Ashley was saying. Both of them seemed awkward, reserved. Alex glanced at Ellie, who just shrugged. Things were more tense between Ashley and Alex, now that Alex was working and spending time with Paige by proxy. Alex couldn't decide whether Ashley was jealous or upset. For that matter, she wasn't sure what gave Ashley the right to be either, when she'd barely given Alex the time of day before.

"Um, can I talk to you?" Teri's right arm was still in a sling, the only visibly noticeable sign of her ordeal.

"Sit down, Teri," Ashley finally offered, moving her bag off the bench beside her. She sounded resigned, and Teri winced, her eyes darting between the strangers across the table.

"I'll make this quick," she promised, sounding apologetic. Then she seemed to change her mind, standing a little straighter. "no, you know what, this is important. It's about Paige."

"What about her?" Ashley's tone was now blatantly hostile, but Teri didn't seem like she was going to back down.

"She's going out with this guy tonight, and I don't know if it's a good idea."

Ashley waved her hand dismissively. "Paige is a big girl, Teri." she shot a frosty look at Alex. "Besides, maybe you should be talking to her new work buddy, she probably knows Paige the best out of any of us these days."

God, if she didn't like Ellie so much, Alex wouldn't take Ashley and her shit.

"I'm just covering her shift," Alex snapped, growing more annoyed at her own defensiveness. She glanced at Teri, trying to be a little less hostile. "Are you worried about the Spinner thing?" Ashley started to say something, then cut herself off. Alex smirked, and pretended not to feel Ellie's sharp kick under the table.

"No, that's just typical Paige. "I'm worried about the guy she's seeing though." She looked back to Ashley, her big doe eyes full of guilt and concern. "He seems creepy, Ash. But she won't listen to me. She and Hazel are going shoe shopping after school."

"Shoe shopping?" Ellie mouthed.

Ashley seemed to be at a loss for words. Alex knew if she and Ellie made eye contact they would laugh, so she tried to look anywhere but to her right. It was very, very difficult.

"I don't think there's much you can do but keep an eye on her tonight," were Ashley's words of wisdom as the bell rang.

"I'm not invited," Teri muttered, but Alex thought she must have been the only one to hear.

Something like worried started trying to gnaw it's way into her stomach, but Alex mentally shook herself. Paige knew what she was doing, after all. Apparently, it required new shoes.

XXX

"Out with it."

"Hmmm?" Alex moved her big toe in lazy circles across the underside of the wool blanket covering Ellie's bed. It was late Friday night, probably edging closer into Saturday morning. Alex had talked Ellie into picking her up from work. The two of them had a standing invitation to stay with one another if things ever got too unbearable at home, although it was understood that Ellie's was the preferable option. For as much as Emily stayed out, her standard free loading boyfriends were less predictable.

"Don't give me any of that," Ellie scoffed as she turned off her bedroom light. Alex felt her stomach flip as the room fell into complete darkness. This conversation had been inevitable, she supposed.

"El-" Alex couldn't manage the second syllable of her name, the first rasping over the back of her throat, landing pinched in the air between them.

The mattress shifted beside her, and the sharp sent of Ellie's apple shampoo was now very close to Alex's face. Alex rolled away from the assault.

It wasn't that she was afraid of her own sexuality. alex had understood for a while now that her attraction for boys was nonexistent, while her interest in girls was ever increasing. But defining it seemed too insurmountable, especially now when it felt as though it was coalescing into something far more tangible.

Discussing it, actually saying it to Ellie would make it real. Alex tried to form the words "I'm gay", but they got wedged behind the lump of anxiety lodged at the back of her throat. God, she was a coward.

"Lex, you know I don't care, right?" Ellie's matter of fact tone was like cool water to the flames of Alex's irrationality. A soft hand found Alex's forearm beneath the blankets. "Whatever it is, whoever you like… it doesn't matter."

"Even if it's you?"

The hand went very still against her skin, And Alex held it together for nearly a full minute before giving into the uncontrollable urge to laugh.

"You know you're an ass, right? A complete ass." Ellie's pillow collided with the side of her face, but Alex couldn't stop choking, as much out of giddy relief as amusement.

"So gullible," she gasped.

"See if I'm ever supportive again."

Long after she had calmed down and Ellie's breathing had lengthened beside her, Alex lay replaying her earlier words, their conviction washing away any remaining anxiety.

XXX

She couldn't find her bra.

He'd flung it across the room - the cute red one that her mom had said was way too expensive in the first place. , and she couldn't see it anywhere.

Paige withdrew a shaking hand out from under this stranger's bed, trying ineffectively to make her goddamned shirt show less cleavage.

Sometime tomorrow, a person would discover this bra, and all the connotations that came along with it. Girls like Paige didn't leave parties without their bras.

Then again, what kind of girl was she? Certainly not the same one who had come into this bedroom.

Paige got to her mostly steady feet, not allowing herself to look back at the sleeping form sprawled in a tangle of sheets. With as much nonchalance as she could manage, she walked back out into the throbbing base and swarm of intoxicated strangers, hugging her shirt around herself as though it could somehow replace her dignity.

Author's notes: To the reviewer that asked about rewriting season five episodes, hopefully this chapter answered that question. The remainder of this fic will take into consideration some of the elements from Paige's rape storyline, but most events will be original. If you want a random singing contest and awful lyrics, stick with plots from the show. ;)