Authors Notes: I don't even know what to say about this chapter besides the fact there's a 99.9% chance your hearts gonna get ripped out.

Hermione pulled on the pair of knickers she had and picked up the dress before wobbling to the door. He hadn't tried to stop her. She curled up under the blankets of her bed, trying to hold back tears. This was fucking Voldemort, dammit. He wasn't capable of true human emotions as hard as he tried to act like he was. Then she thought about the story of Beauty and the Beast her parents had told her. Where the prince who was cursed asked the maiden every night to marry him, to love him because he couldn't love himself. At some point, she did give into the Beast. She struggled to remember the ending but she didn't think it ended that well either. Only Tom Riddle had asked her to stay with him because of his plans, not because of her. But that last time… Hermione wanted to believe he was sincere, without an agenda.

Flitch and his cat hadn't caught her in the hallways, and the common room was empty to her relief. The other girls ignored her as they went to their own beds and she washed off her make up and put on a pair of loose pants before climbing into the bed. In the morning, the train would be going back to Kingscross for the holidays. She decided that she wouldn't be leaving to the Burrow, and her parents had become increasingly distant to where it would feel weird to go home. They still kept in touch with her every once in a while, and she knew they loved her, but they felt like a little more than strangers.

When she went downstairs in the morning, Harry was lingering behind the flood going to the train station.

"I thought you were leaving," Hermione said.

"I just wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. I think Malfoy's staying behind, Neville too," Harry said.

"I'll be fine, Harry. Besides, I'm sending your Christmas present in the mail and you can give me an update when you get back."

He gave her a hug before leaving with Ron, who had a scowl on his face after seeing them. It was disappointing that she couldn't get along with Ron anymore, but eventually things would work out. She hoped anyway.

The next couple of times she went into the Room of Requirement during the break, she didn't see Tom. Not that she cared. He was going to grow up never knowing love. Never caring about anyone but himself. In a way, it was also a relief. She was able to study without being distracted by anyone.

Once classes started up again, she felt herself growing excessively tired. Luna had even bothered to ask her if she felt alright and Hermione shrugged it off as saying she was just overworking herself studying. It had been a Saturday when she was sitting in the common room with Neville and Ginny. The clock chimed and Hermione found that it was roughly the same time she'd gone to see Tom on multiple occasions.

"When did you get that sweater?" Ginny asked, referring to the overly large dark green sweater Hermione wore.

"Oh, a uh… a friend," Hermione said.

"I've never seen anyone at Hogwarts with it."

"Could you just… not?"

"Alright, are you sure you're not on your period?"

"Do you have to use—"

Before Hermione could chastise Ginny about underlying misogny, it occurred to her that she hadn't worried about her own in weeks.

"Are you okay Hermione?" Ginny asked.

"No… I don't think so," Hermione said, running to the bathroom.

"I'll just, be here," Neville told Ginny before she left.

Hermione was pacing in the bathroom before Ginny walked in.

"What's a.. pregnancy test spell? I mean, your mum must have told you," Hermione pleaded.

The other girl gave her a confused look before flicking her wand. It passed through Hermione before a blue shadowy orb appeared.

"I… I didn't expect that," Ginny said.

"I'm pregnant," Hermione said softly, a pained expression on her face.

"Are you going to keep it?"

Hermione leaned on the side of the wall. Her hand went to her stomach.

"I can't. The father, I— I couldn't do that to a kid," Hermione said. "Why was I so stupid! I should've been more cautious! And now this happens!"

"You can't tell," Ginny shrugged.

Hermione had light tears coming down her face and the younger girl gave her a reassuring hug.

"Look, just, think about it for maybe twenty four hours about what you want to do with the kid. With a brain like yours the kid's gotta come out great," Ginny said. "Are you going to tell the dad?"

She shook her head no and Ginny walked out with her back to the common room. They both knew that war would be a possibility with Voldemort regaining power. Neville attempted to ask Ginny for advice on how to ask out Luna. The conversation went rather well and Ginny brushed off Dean when he walked by in with an attempt to say hi.

"You should, maybe let the relationship go," Hermione suggested.

"How else am I supposed to move on from Harry?" Ginny scoffed once Dean was out of earshot.

"Trust me, let Dean go. He's a great guy otherwise but maybe he's just not the one."

"You're right. Should I do it at dinner or after Hogsmade?"

"The sooner the better."

Hermione rolled over in bed, contemplating what to do with the spawn of Voldemort. And yet... it was also hers. There was the chance it could be... normal. Her hand instinctively went over her stomach. It was perhaps too early to think about what gender the child could be. If she kept it, obviously it would have her last name and she would attempt to evade the questioning of who the father was. Oh dear Merlin, what would her parents think? As she kept thinking about the news, the more she wanted to keep it. She fell asleep thinking about names.

She shouldn't be visible until summer… only being December, the baby wouldn't come until late August and she would risk skipping the first week of school. If not longer. Even if it was half-Tom, it was also half-her; it was someone she created, someone that would hopefully go into a world that would be kind to it. The idea of it looking like Tom frightened her. Harry had mentioned back in their second year he'd met a young Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort. If the child grew up, he'd figure out who the father was. And yet she wanted nothing more than to protect the child as much as she wanted to rip apart her own skin and kill the thing.

After Transfiguration she lingered behind, contemplating asking McGonagall for help.

"Can I help you Miss Granger?" she asked.

"Oh, no, sorry. I got stuck in my head for a moment," Hermione said.

The professor looked at her concerned before Hermione walked out the door.

At dinner, she lost track of how many chocolates she'd shoved into her mouth. It was likely just her own craving and not the hormones. Ron walked in with Lavender and Hermione walked out, not wanting to hear Lavender's high pitched voice gushing with that stupid nickname. She went to the Room of Requirement, wanting to be left alone. Upon seeing that the Room made itself one she was ever so familiar with, along with a familiar head of hair because nobody else was usually ever in this room. Her foot squeaked on the hardwood floor as she turned around.

"You're back," he beamed.

Hermione looked back and started walking towards him, hiding behind the stacks of books in defense.

"You're awfully shy today," he smirked.

"You're as patronizing as ever," Hermione said.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

Yes.

"Hermione, would you please sit next to me," Tom said, another command.

She sat on the far end of the couch.

"Look, I get that my whole plans for the wizarding world are… out there. Perfectly understandable for you to not initially want to join. But I'm not the bad guy. People like Dumbledore try to say that they're Good. A very black and white mentality. And power, power is something you can use to influence people. Guide them," Tom said.

"Dumbledore is a good man," Hermione protested.

"You're missing the point. He lets other people do the dirty work and then he finishes what ever it is for his own credit. Even in literature, you know. The good guys aren't supposed to attack people, but when they do they get a pass. The bad guy's are just a reflection, they just take matters into their own hands."

"You're going to ask me to go to the past with you again, aren't you?"

"Please Hermione. We've trained, I know your mind, you're the closest thing I've ever had to an equal."

Her arm went defensively around her stomach.

"Hermione, there's no one like you in my time," Tom said.

"I've told you, I can't," Hermione said softly.

He moved closer to her and kissed her gently. When he broke away, she was rather hurt by the motion causing him to smirk. Tom waved his wand and a sort of waltz played on a record in the corner. They started swaying in front of the fire. Hermione felt herself wanting to stay this way with Tom. At the same time, there was an uncomfortable rippling in herself that wanted to get out of the damn room.

"You will join me," he said, the record shutting off. "You're the light to my dark, and together nothing could stop us."

"I know what you become and I won't. I'm not going with you," Hermione said.

"You're changing time as you know it being with me."

"When you feel remorse for your actions, and when you… if you could say you love me and not use it as a gaming ploy, I will."

"Why does love matter? It's a stupid emotion that distracts people from ambitions."

"It anchors people, Tom. I know you could be a good person, you could be a wonderful person, and just—"

"I know who I am, Hermione. I'm not going to try to act like a different person."

"You have acted. You've tried to get me to join you with your falsified ideas, and acting like you care about me, and you don't."

"Of course I care about you Hermione."

His hand cusped her cheek, and he didn't comprehend why Hermione had placed his free hand over hers that rested on her stomach.

"I want to be with you, Tom," Hermione said softly. "It just can't happen in this life."

"I'm tired of asking you Hermione, stay with me," Tom said.

Her eyes were pained. A blank look fell across Tom's face. Internally he debated on how he ought to feel. A majority of what he told Hermione was true, he did care about her. In a strange way he couldn't comprehend. Something that drew him into wanting to protect her. There wasn't quite lust, he had initially used it as a lure, but it was a pure feeling. The moment that he acknowledged it, he wanted to pry the feeling away. It was inconvenient. If Hermione gave into his side, she could be a very powerful dark witch. The dark arts suited her. Her rejection of his plans boiled him. She was going to be his most powerful ally. He couldn't find himself thinking clearly as he started seeing red.

"Tom, Tom, come back to me," she pleaded.

The grip she had on his arm loosened as he backed up from her. The dark brown had become a solid red color.

"Crucio," he said, flicking his wand.

Her legs buckled as she fell down screaming. Her arms covered her stomach protectively. He'd ask if she'd join him at the times he'd stop, before she'd say no and it would repeat. This was Lord Voldemort. And Lord Voldemort didn't care about her.

"You're just as horrible as your mother," she coughed out when he stopped, finding himself drained.

"How dare you speak about my mother!" He shouted.

"You're right to hate her. She… she had no right to rape your father. You don't have to fall into the narrative of being dark because that's how you came into the world. You can change the path that you're on."

He knelt down next to her, stroking the side of her face to her disgust.

"Stop trying to see a person that isn't there," he said. "Crucio."

He'd grown bored torturing her. She'd come back to their Room afterward anyway. Tom left and Hermione remained on the floor with tears streaming down her face. Her hand was shaking as she placed it over her stomach.

When she walked out of the Room, she saw Malfoy walking down towards the other end of the corridor. Composing herself, she walked down the stairs and into a bathroom, trying to wash the tears of her face with water. It was when she looked back in the mirror that she noticed that she'd put on a bit more weight since she found out about the pregnancy. He had no problem torturing her; her eyes started to well up and she used the back of her sleeve to wipe the incoming tears away.

Two days had passed and Hermione had attempted to push the memory behind her. She'd been walking to Charms with Harry when she noticed a pain in her stomach. Should the baby be kicking this soon? He didn't notice how they started walking closer to the wall. Hermione clung to the stone as she tried to hold herself up from the pain in her stomach. Her eyes widened and she ran into the bathroom.

The pain was briefly relieved as she occupied a stall. Then she noticed the blood and the chunks. She found herself sobbing.

Harry had waited outside for her, and he noticed Hermione finishing up crying once she walked out.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah," Hermione lied. "Just that time of the month."

"I think if we run up we can still make it to Charms with five to spare."

The pain was tolerable this time as she walked.

Ginny had delightfully told her at dinner that she and Dean were getting along well after the break up now that it had happened. The blank expression on Hermione's face concerned her.

"Do you want to talk about it elsewhere?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, that might be a good idea," Hermione agreed.

They walked up to the Astronomy tower sometime later.

"I lost… I lost the pregnancy," Hermione said.

"I'm so sorry," Ginny said.

"It's not like I was that far in it. Physically anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just.. I had a dream a while back, and it was a boy. A beautiful little boy, and I just— I contemplated naming him Paul Remus. After my dad and one of the bravest men I've known."

Hermione spent most of her classes drifting in and out of the lectures. Even Ron had grown concerned. Besides Ginny, nobody could exactly what had thrown her into this sort of mood. Harry had pressed one day in the library when they were attempting to study that Hermione had snapped that she had had a miscarriage after casting a muffling charm around them. He backed off the subject, this time attempting to help her in regaining her focus on their homework.

She lost track of how long it had been since she'd last seen Riddle. It had been in the morning when she contemplated going back. Only then she found out that Ron was in the hospital wing and went to the infirmary. Apparently there had been an incident with a love potion and poison and Hermione sat down next to Ron with Ginny and Harry. Lavender stormed into the room, babbling about how if her Won-Won was alright, before she noticed Hermione.

"Er-minny," Ron mumbled in his sleep. "Her—mione."

Lavender turned on her heel and ran out of the room. Hermione held onto Ron's hand. Confident that things would work out with him after all. Harry explained how Romilda had been the one with the love potion and Hermione made sure to remind herself that she needed to write a strongly worded letter to the Weasley twins about supplying date-rape drugs and how they should discontinue the love potion line. What happened with the Riddles was something nobody deserved to be put through.

It was at that time that Hermione decided to leave them, claiming it was because of the library. She instead walked up to the Room of Requirement, seeing Tom put away some books. The white button up was rolled up and the tie was loose on him.

"I was just about to leave," he stated.

"I just… wanted to say goodbye," Hermione said.

"How come?"

"Because this needs to end."

He walked closer to her. Hermione attempted to no t be intimidated by how he towered over her.

"So, you're a Gryffindor," he said.

"And a muggleborn, or as you put it, mud blood," Hermione said, seething.

"I can make an exception."

"There's still other people like me that don't deserve to die because of how we were born."

"And yet you refuse to join me."

She inched closer to him and he leaned down to kiss her. His hands picked her legs up before walking over to the couch. This had to end. Her body ached to have him. Not even her time with him had managed to change his perceptions. Yet she couldn't find herself to have the heart to kill him.

"I love you," he mumbled as the kiss deepened.

It sounded like a lie. It was perhaps the most sincere he'd been. She pushed him off of her and rearranged herself before pulling out her wand.

"What are you doing?" He laughed.

"Obliviate," Hermione said softly.

She ripped his memories of her away from him. The memories played themselves back in her own head before they were gone. He looked at her blankly. To him, she was nothing more than a stranger. Hermione didn't know why she ended up leaning over him, her hand rested itself on his shoulder before she moved herself closer to his ear.

"I loved you too," she said softly.

She walked out the door and went back downstairs. He hadn't tried to stop her because he didn't know her. She lost their child. Her child. Even if she had her own life, she had still ripped away a part of her. This time, she couldn't go back to Tom Riddle. She locked herself in a broom closest and cried.

As it inched closer to the end of the year, Hermione found that she and Ron had grown closer. Most nights she casted a silencing spell around her so the other girls wouldn't hear her crying over the loss of her child. Harry had left for a lesson with Dumbledore and had given them the container of Liquid Luck just in case for some reason. It had been helpful since later that night Death Eaters had infiltrated Hogwarts and members of the Order of the Phoenix had arrived at Hogwarts to fight. She found herself tapping the coin they'd used for the Defense group to help. Hermione had had a close encounter with Bellatrix before they decided to leave the castle. The damage had been minor and only Ron's brother Bill sustained an injury from Fenrir Greyback attacking him from the battle.