I don't own any of these characters.
Once again, I made it through the night with just my thoughts in my head and my feelings in my heart. Rob invaded my every dream, my every thought that night. His sweet touch and gentle kiss was more than words could explain. I was very touched by his generosity, but felt scared at the thought of telling Matt that I was no longer in love with him.
"I'll always love you, just not in that way," I practiced saying to myself at four thirty two in the morning. I awoke with a massive headache and my stomach was tossing and turning like the ocean on a windy day. I took some aspirin and prayed that I wouldn't become too violently sick. The thoughts of Matt didn't help me, either. How could I explain to the guy that I thought I had loved, that I no longer loved him? Stress on the word thought. Rob made me feel differently than Matt did, more strongly. When he kissed me, I wanted more of him. Matt was a little more determined to do things his way, although he was very kind. But Rob was kind in a different way. He wanted me to be comfortable, which was all he cared about, and for that, I couldn't thank him enough.
Deciding that I wasn't going back to sleep, I made up my mind to take a quick tour of the house on my own. I knew there was an attic somewhere, but it was more of a crawl space than anything. Rob had mentioned it earlier when he told me about all the other tapes he had stored away.
"I know it sounds vain but I tape all the shows and store them in the attic," he said. So I decided to look through the attic. I know it was wrong. I know I shouldn't have. But I couldn't help myself. Something in my mind persisted that I get up there and search for something that I needed to know.
The door was located in the ceiling right outside of Rob's bedroom door. Luckily, he had closed the door when he went to bed, so I had an easier time bringing down the door and releasing the attached ladder. Carefully, I climbed upward, watching not to make to much noise. I kept thinking of an old movie I saw once where someone got trapped in one of those attic things because someone came along and closed the door. I couldn't help but think of Rob got up and closed it, how stupid I would look banging on the door to be let out. It made me think twice about going up there but determination kept at my mind. Taking the chance, I took the last step and breathed in a mouth full of cobwebs.
"Oh…yuck!" I cried, wiping at my face in disgust. I was ready to turn around and go back down but as soon as I opened my eyes, they landed on a box simply titled, "letters". It was small and rectangle and black. Ardante was printed across the top. My curiosity was tempted. I picked up the box and lifted off the lid.
I know I shouldn't have. But I did, and to this day, I'm glad I did. As soon as the lid was lifted off, a pile of letters fell out of the box and onto the floor, where I sat, cross-legged, the box seated on my lap. I began to sift through them.
Many were signed "Love, Sonya," and I put those ones back automatically. They were none of my business. Come to think of it, none of those letters were my business, or so I thought at the time. I continued to examine each letter until I got to the bottom of the box. Thinking that I had reached a dead end, I prepared to put the letters back and continue searching. But then something caught my eye.
It was a bundle of letters, wrapped up in a paper ribbon. Written on the ribbon, in small printing, was "For Lita".
Oh, Heaven forgive me, but I read those letters. Each one of the was signed with, "Love, Rob". "My love forever, Rob". "Love always, Rob". Carefully I sorted through each letter, reading Rob's hidden love for me. One read:
How dare I write this when my wife lies in the bed next to me. But
all I can picture is your face. You and how you looked tonight. I
watched those tapes over and over again and hope that someday
you will realize and come to me. I know you are happy with Matt,
but can it be wrong to love the one you really love? If so, then let
God strike me dead at this moment, for I do love you, Amy. With
all of my heart, body and soul.
My heart stopped. The letters were dated back as far as the first day Rob and I met. I felt ecstatic and troubled at the same time. If Rob says he loves me, then he must, to write all these letters. But if he started writing them the day he met me, then how could he say he loved me? For I believed that love took more than a twenty-minute conversation. Then again, I was no expert on love, that's for sure.
I began to replace the letters, puzzled as to why Rob would write them and never send them. I wondered if I dropped enough hints when he got up that morning, if he would confess to having written these letters. I didn't want to come out and say, "Hey Rob, I was being nosy this morning and decided to root through your personal letters. I happened to come across some that you wrote for me. Care to share them with me?"
No.
That wouldn't go over well. I decided against that one, and figured if I told him how much I cared for him (which I really did!) then maybe he would share them willingly. If not, I'd beat it out of him. I didn't become a wrestler for nothing!
When Rob did arise that morning, I was seated at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in my hands. "Morning, Amy," he said, kissing me on the top of my head. I smiled at him.
"Sleep well?"
He nodded. "I felt a little sick when I woke up, but I'm fine now." He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat beside me at the table.
"I hope you don't mind that I made coffee," I said. "Coffee's my best friend in the morning."
"Me, too," he replied, his hands grasped around the mug. He sipped it carefully before putting it back down on the table. "Ow! Hot!"
I giggled. "Duh." Deciding to get right down to action, I put my plan into gear. "You know, I was thinking last night. About you."
"How sweet," Rob said, touching my hand. "I was thinking about you, too. And I hope what you have to say isn't bad."
I shook my head. "Nothing like that. I just want you to know that I care for you a lot, Rob, and I think I'm going to break up with Matt. I can't bear to not be with you. Last night was one of the most magical nights of my life and I want to have many, many more." Most of that was exaggerated, except for that last part. That night was one of the best nights of my life, and I wanted him to know that.
"So I want to know what you think," I continued. Smiling, Rob played right into my hands.
"Amy, I have something to show you," he said. "But they're up in the crawl space. I'll have to get them after."
"Them?" I pretended to play dumb. "What are they? Little people?"
He laughed that laugh again. "You're so cute! No, something I've been writing for awhile now, something that I never thought I'd have the guts to show you, but now I think it's time. I hope you won't laugh."
I held my hand up in a "Guide's honour" symbol. "Promise," I said.
"I'll go get them now."
He left the kitchen and I smiled to myself. This was easier than I thought. And it felt good because I was speaking the truth and what had been in my heart for so long as a dream was becoming reality. Everyone dreams that one day the dreams that they collect in their most secret of put away hearts will come true and make their fairy tale become actuality. It was nice to get this all out.
Rob returned moments later, carrying the same black box in his hands. As soon as he sat down, I reached for it but he pulled it out of my reach. "Just wait a minute," he said teasingly. "There's something I have to take out first." He removed the letters from Sonya and carried them over to the counter where he set them by the sink. Then he handed me the box and stood by as I picked up the first letter. He stood there and watched me. I looked back at him.
"Are you going to stand there and watch me this whole time?"
"What else do you want me to do?"
A wicked idea came into my mind and it showed on my face for Rob said, "I mean, within reason, you flirt!" I grinned at him.
"I just can't read if someone is watching me."
"I'll go get dressed then. Read as many as you can and tell me what you think. This gives you time so that if you don't think this is a good idea, you can leave while I'm gone, getting ready." I knew he meant by "this" him and I as a couple. And I also knew that I couldn't leave. Not now. Not after so much had been revealed. I watched him saunter off down the hallway and began to re-read the letters. They were even better the second time. When I finished the last one, tears were streaming down my face. As much as I thought I loved Matt, he never did anything like this for me. Yes, he was there for me, and yes, I loved him for that, and would never stop. But the letters that he did write me never had the same effect on me. I couldn't help it. I was in love with Rob Van Dam.
Quietly, I replaced the letters in the box and set it on the kitchen table. Then I went into the washroom where Rob was still showering, undressed myself and got into the shower with my true love.
Once again, I made it through the night with just my thoughts in my head and my feelings in my heart. Rob invaded my every dream, my every thought that night. His sweet touch and gentle kiss was more than words could explain. I was very touched by his generosity, but felt scared at the thought of telling Matt that I was no longer in love with him.
"I'll always love you, just not in that way," I practiced saying to myself at four thirty two in the morning. I awoke with a massive headache and my stomach was tossing and turning like the ocean on a windy day. I took some aspirin and prayed that I wouldn't become too violently sick. The thoughts of Matt didn't help me, either. How could I explain to the guy that I thought I had loved, that I no longer loved him? Stress on the word thought. Rob made me feel differently than Matt did, more strongly. When he kissed me, I wanted more of him. Matt was a little more determined to do things his way, although he was very kind. But Rob was kind in a different way. He wanted me to be comfortable, which was all he cared about, and for that, I couldn't thank him enough.
Deciding that I wasn't going back to sleep, I made up my mind to take a quick tour of the house on my own. I knew there was an attic somewhere, but it was more of a crawl space than anything. Rob had mentioned it earlier when he told me about all the other tapes he had stored away.
"I know it sounds vain but I tape all the shows and store them in the attic," he said. So I decided to look through the attic. I know it was wrong. I know I shouldn't have. But I couldn't help myself. Something in my mind persisted that I get up there and search for something that I needed to know.
The door was located in the ceiling right outside of Rob's bedroom door. Luckily, he had closed the door when he went to bed, so I had an easier time bringing down the door and releasing the attached ladder. Carefully, I climbed upward, watching not to make to much noise. I kept thinking of an old movie I saw once where someone got trapped in one of those attic things because someone came along and closed the door. I couldn't help but think of Rob got up and closed it, how stupid I would look banging on the door to be let out. It made me think twice about going up there but determination kept at my mind. Taking the chance, I took the last step and breathed in a mouth full of cobwebs.
"Oh…yuck!" I cried, wiping at my face in disgust. I was ready to turn around and go back down but as soon as I opened my eyes, they landed on a box simply titled, "letters". It was small and rectangle and black. Ardante was printed across the top. My curiosity was tempted. I picked up the box and lifted off the lid.
I know I shouldn't have. But I did, and to this day, I'm glad I did. As soon as the lid was lifted off, a pile of letters fell out of the box and onto the floor, where I sat, cross-legged, the box seated on my lap. I began to sift through them.
Many were signed "Love, Sonya," and I put those ones back automatically. They were none of my business. Come to think of it, none of those letters were my business, or so I thought at the time. I continued to examine each letter until I got to the bottom of the box. Thinking that I had reached a dead end, I prepared to put the letters back and continue searching. But then something caught my eye.
It was a bundle of letters, wrapped up in a paper ribbon. Written on the ribbon, in small printing, was "For Lita".
Oh, Heaven forgive me, but I read those letters. Each one of the was signed with, "Love, Rob". "My love forever, Rob". "Love always, Rob". Carefully I sorted through each letter, reading Rob's hidden love for me. One read:
How dare I write this when my wife lies in the bed next to me. But
all I can picture is your face. You and how you looked tonight. I
watched those tapes over and over again and hope that someday
you will realize and come to me. I know you are happy with Matt,
but can it be wrong to love the one you really love? If so, then let
God strike me dead at this moment, for I do love you, Amy. With
all of my heart, body and soul.
My heart stopped. The letters were dated back as far as the first day Rob and I met. I felt ecstatic and troubled at the same time. If Rob says he loves me, then he must, to write all these letters. But if he started writing them the day he met me, then how could he say he loved me? For I believed that love took more than a twenty-minute conversation. Then again, I was no expert on love, that's for sure.
I began to replace the letters, puzzled as to why Rob would write them and never send them. I wondered if I dropped enough hints when he got up that morning, if he would confess to having written these letters. I didn't want to come out and say, "Hey Rob, I was being nosy this morning and decided to root through your personal letters. I happened to come across some that you wrote for me. Care to share them with me?"
No.
That wouldn't go over well. I decided against that one, and figured if I told him how much I cared for him (which I really did!) then maybe he would share them willingly. If not, I'd beat it out of him. I didn't become a wrestler for nothing!
When Rob did arise that morning, I was seated at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in my hands. "Morning, Amy," he said, kissing me on the top of my head. I smiled at him.
"Sleep well?"
He nodded. "I felt a little sick when I woke up, but I'm fine now." He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat beside me at the table.
"I hope you don't mind that I made coffee," I said. "Coffee's my best friend in the morning."
"Me, too," he replied, his hands grasped around the mug. He sipped it carefully before putting it back down on the table. "Ow! Hot!"
I giggled. "Duh." Deciding to get right down to action, I put my plan into gear. "You know, I was thinking last night. About you."
"How sweet," Rob said, touching my hand. "I was thinking about you, too. And I hope what you have to say isn't bad."
I shook my head. "Nothing like that. I just want you to know that I care for you a lot, Rob, and I think I'm going to break up with Matt. I can't bear to not be with you. Last night was one of the most magical nights of my life and I want to have many, many more." Most of that was exaggerated, except for that last part. That night was one of the best nights of my life, and I wanted him to know that.
"So I want to know what you think," I continued. Smiling, Rob played right into my hands.
"Amy, I have something to show you," he said. "But they're up in the crawl space. I'll have to get them after."
"Them?" I pretended to play dumb. "What are they? Little people?"
He laughed that laugh again. "You're so cute! No, something I've been writing for awhile now, something that I never thought I'd have the guts to show you, but now I think it's time. I hope you won't laugh."
I held my hand up in a "Guide's honour" symbol. "Promise," I said.
"I'll go get them now."
He left the kitchen and I smiled to myself. This was easier than I thought. And it felt good because I was speaking the truth and what had been in my heart for so long as a dream was becoming reality. Everyone dreams that one day the dreams that they collect in their most secret of put away hearts will come true and make their fairy tale become actuality. It was nice to get this all out.
Rob returned moments later, carrying the same black box in his hands. As soon as he sat down, I reached for it but he pulled it out of my reach. "Just wait a minute," he said teasingly. "There's something I have to take out first." He removed the letters from Sonya and carried them over to the counter where he set them by the sink. Then he handed me the box and stood by as I picked up the first letter. He stood there and watched me. I looked back at him.
"Are you going to stand there and watch me this whole time?"
"What else do you want me to do?"
A wicked idea came into my mind and it showed on my face for Rob said, "I mean, within reason, you flirt!" I grinned at him.
"I just can't read if someone is watching me."
"I'll go get dressed then. Read as many as you can and tell me what you think. This gives you time so that if you don't think this is a good idea, you can leave while I'm gone, getting ready." I knew he meant by "this" him and I as a couple. And I also knew that I couldn't leave. Not now. Not after so much had been revealed. I watched him saunter off down the hallway and began to re-read the letters. They were even better the second time. When I finished the last one, tears were streaming down my face. As much as I thought I loved Matt, he never did anything like this for me. Yes, he was there for me, and yes, I loved him for that, and would never stop. But the letters that he did write me never had the same effect on me. I couldn't help it. I was in love with Rob Van Dam.
Quietly, I replaced the letters in the box and set it on the kitchen table. Then I went into the washroom where Rob was still showering, undressed myself and got into the shower with my true love.