Chapter 4:

Hiding Beneath the Mask

Raven wrapped her arms around Cyborg's neck and Cyborg's arms around Raven's petite waist. Raven stood on her toes, bringing her face closer to Cyborg's, who leaned to meet her. Their lips collide into a kiss.

Phoenix couldn't help it but stare at them, his heart clenched painfully.

His brain snaps back when Cyborg and Raven broke off their kiss, Phoenix turned around and ran away.

He ran into bathroom and slammed the door behind him. His hands grips the counter tightly as he stares at the mirror, panting. In flash, he removes his mask and looks at the mirror again. Green eyes filled with tears streaming down his face.

"You are dead," Phoenix whispers to the mirror, "the last thing you told Raven was that it meant nothing. There is nothing between us now. You are gone. She has moved on"

He had hoped that the words helped, but it didn't. Phoenix felt worse than before.

"She is better off with you…" Phoenix rips his eyes away from the mirror, staring at the sink detachedly, "She's with Cyborg. That is good. He will treat her well. They deserve each other."

He sighs as he let go his deathly grip off the counter, bringing his bloodshot green eyes back to the mirror, "You are not him anymore." He pulls his mask back, covering his teary face once again,

"You are Phoenix."

Phoenix returned to the common room after being toured by Starfire around the tower.

"The tour is completed" Starfire voiced, "I hope you will find your stay satisfying."

"Thank you, it's a nice home" Phoenix smiles beneath the mask as Starfire opens the door leading to the common room. They are faced with the smell of food.

"Oh glorious! It is time for evening feast, I'm famished!" Starfire beamed with a smile.

'Uh-oh…' Phoenix worries, 'How I am supposed to eat without removing my mask?'

"Aren't you comin'?" Cyborg called and snapped Phoenix out of his worried thoughts. Phoenix realized that he has been standing frozen and staring as the rest of teammates take their seat at the table.

"Uh…" Phoenix stammered, "I'm sorry, but I can't eat with you guys."

"Why can't you?" Strafer questions, "Aren't you our friend, yes?"

"Yeah I am, but I can't eat without removing my mask" Phoenix stated truthfully, "I'd like to keep my identity a secret."

Robin nods slowly, "I understand. You may eat in your room if you want."

"That'd be great, thank you for understanding."

Phoenix mentally sighed in relief as he collects food on his plate. He searched carefully for meat-free food. Phoenix settled on salad, a roll of bread, and vegetables.

Phoenix was about to leave when Cyborg called after him, "Hey, don't you want ribs too? They are delicious. They are covered with my secret sauce."

Phoenix smirked sadly, remembering Cyborg bragging about his mega awesome BBQ sauce with extra flavors that he added and named it Cyborg's Awesome Secret Sauce.

"I'm sure it's delicious, but I'm a vegan." Phoenix nods before leaving the room full of jaw-slacking teenagers.

"It's strange," Cyborg comments during dinnertime.

"What do you mean?" Robin asks, Cyborg shaking his head, "Phoenix."

The teammates stare at Cyborg, urging him to continue.

"I don't know man, it's just… Phoenix came out of nowhere during the fight with Dr. Light just a week after he died. We were struggling against Dr. Light, ya know since he was the first bad dude we fought after him, and then out of nowhere, he saved the day."

"What are you saying, Cy?" Robin whispers, nervous to hear what he was about to say.

"You know what I'm tryin' to say, man. Phoenix appeared after he died. Phoenix doesn't even eat meat, just like him. Heck, Phoenix is covered from head to toe, skin is nowhere to be seen."

"Cy…" Robin morosely, but Cyborg interrupts, "I know, it's not possible. We all saw him fall."

Cyborg's eye is filled with tears, "It's just… Phoenix makes me think of him."

Starfire wraps her arms around Robin's torso and sobs into his chest as Robin held her with an arm around her shoulders and another rubbing her arm to soothe her.

"You are not the only one, Cy." Robin's broken voice spoken, "I'd be lying if that thought didn't come up."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was up for three nights in row trying figure out who he was after the fight against Dr. Light. His moves was so familiar, and I couldn't help it but to hope. And now, he is here with us… I see him in Phoenix."

Starfire nods against Robin's chest in agreement before removing herself, "I-I was giving him a tour and we stopped at 'his' room. Phoenix asked me if I missed him and I told him that I miss him very much. He just nods as if he was trying to apologize."

"He was trying to say sorry for the loss," Robin states logically.

Cyborg glances at the dark girl seated next to him, knowing that she needs to be comforted. He slowly takes the hood off, turns out he was right. Raven's cheeks are trailing with tears.

"It's ok Raven," Cyborg whispers, rubbing his metal hand gently on Raven's back.

Raven gulps, "I-I could not feel emotions from Phoenix. I'm having a hard time reading him."

Robin's expression turned into serious, "What you mean? Did it happened before, with Terra?"

Raven shakes her head, "It happened before, but not with Terra. I foresaw her betrayal, but I dismissed it which will never happen again. It happened with…"

Robin sighs understandably, urging her to continue.

"I didn't notice it at first with everyone's emotions jumping around. I've always assumed that I could feel h-his… But I never did, and this, being unable to read him, it's the same with Phoenix. I'm nervous about Phoenix because I don't know and cannot feel anything from him."

"Ok, this means we need to trend into this lightly. We don't want another betrayal. We can't have another one. We are too vulnerable." Robin stated in a leader tone.

Unknown to teammates, Phoenix sat in hall beside the door with a rolled up mask, revealing his mouth; munching his bread roll quietly as he listens, with his sensitive ears, the commotion at the dinner table just behind the door.

'Nice going dude' Phoenix thought to himself bitterly, 'You are here to help them to defeat Slade, then that's it. In and out. Nothing more, no more damages. Don't be stupid. Don't let them find out. Don't be found.'

Phoenix remains seated until he hears shuffling, 'They are done with dinner, better go to your room now'

He grabs his nearly empty plate before standing up. Phoenix quietly makes his way to his room.

Reaching the sleeping quarters hall, first door right. He pauses before entering, stealing a glance down the hall. The last door on the left; Phoenix knows the door too well. The last door holds the engravement 'Beast Boy' Inside is the smallest, messy, green room.

Phoenix sighs as he enters the guest room, dismissing his desire to take back what was his.

The guest room was nothing fancy. The walls are white with a window that stretched, covering half of a wall. A twin-sized bed lies in the center of the room with headboard against the wall, facing the door, a dresser on the far right side of the bed and a bedside desk with lamp and a digital clock beside the left side of the bed.

Phoenix sits on the edge of the bed, rolls his mask halfway so he was able to finish his meal.

The noise fell silence as Phoenix enters the common room, holding an empty plate.

"Hey, I'm just going to put this plate away." Phoenix said awkwardly as the rest of teammates stare.

Cyborg was first to speak up from the crescent couch, "Just put it in the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes. It is bird boy's turn to wash 'em."

"…'Kay," Phoenix mumbled in reply, feeling angry at the fact Cyborg is sitting close to Raven. Too close, in fact. Cyborg's right arm is resting on Raven's back while Raven lean her head on Cyborg's chest with a book on her lap.

'Chill dude, just chill…' Phoenix takes a deep breath, putting his dirty dish on the top of the pile.

"Hey guys," Phoenix announced, getting everyone's attentions, "Mind listening to me for a few minutes? I want to say something."

Robin nods, standing up, "Sure, let's gather around at the couch."

Robin and Starfire make their way to the couch, sitting on the opposite side from where Cyborg and Raven are sitting. Phoenix followed behind Robin and Starfire, instead of sitting, he stood in front of the four.

"Uh," Phoenix clears his throat, "I just want to clear things up. First of all, I'm not going to join this team. I'm just here to help you guys to go up against Slade; that's it, nothing more."

"Why don't you want to join this team?" Robin questions.

"Well, first of all, I'd like to keep my identity a secret. It's kinda hard since I can't eat without taking my mask off. Also, I get the sense that some of you are not so happy having me around." Phoenix finishes the last sentence, looking straight at Raven.

Raven glares and was about to say something, but Robin spoke, "Maybe one day you will trust us enough to reveal your identity and be part of the team."

"That's highly unlikely," Phoenix replies, "it is not that I don't trust you guys. I do. It's you guys I'm afraid of."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Raven monotonously with hint of anger.

Phoenix chuckled, "Trust me Raven, my identity and I are better left alone."

"If you don't plan on staying, then why don't you go?" Raven glares at Phoenix who respond causally, "Don't you remember? You trapped me, and I didn't had any choice. Beside you guys are in trouble, the least I can do is to help."

"Why?" Raven retorted, "You didn't wrong us before. Why is it that you are acting like you owe us something?"

"You lost a teammate, you are vulnerable to the enemies. I don't want to see the team fall."

Raven stood up abruptly, and disappeared through the portal she had created underneath her.

The team sighs and glares at Phoenix who put his hands up innocently, "What? I didn't do anything?"

Cyborg sighs, rubbing his human eye, "Raven is, ahem, very sensitive toward the topic of our old teammate. We all are."

"You should apologize to Friend Raven," Starfire suggests, "she may seem cruel and strong, but she has a wonderful heart."

Robin nods, "Yeah, you better get on Raven's good side. We understand and grateful that you are here to help us. You can do whatever you decide after we defeat Slade. But, as long you are here; we are team. Please, just talk to Raven and make peace."

"I understand," Phoenix nods, "do you reckon she is in her room?"

"Nah, she's at the roof." Cyborg stood up, "Come on, I'll show you where the roof is."

Phoenix stares sadly at Raven's outline figure from the city's light at the nighttime, sitting on the edge of the tower. He could hear her sniffles.

'Awesome, you are supposed to be dead and yet you somehow still make Raven cry' Phoenix clenches his hands at the thought, 'She is supposed to be happier, but no you have to ruin that just by being here'

Phoenix stares at the ground detachedly, 'When we are finished with Slade, you will leave and Raven will be safe and happy again'

Satisfied with his thoughts, Phoenix closes the door behind him, making his presence known.

Raven turns toward at the sound and sighs angrily and turns away when she saw Phoenix standing by the door, "What do you want now?"

Phoenix sighs, walking toward to Raven who is quietly rubbing her eyes, acting like she hasn't been crying.

"May I sit?" Phoenix asks nervously.

"No." Raven responds monotonously.

Phoenix sat next to her anyway, resulting with Raven scoffing, "Why did you ask if you were going to sit anyway?"

"I was just being polite," Phoenix chuckles, earning a glare from Raven.

"Listen Raven, I-"

"I don't want to hear what you have to say," Raven interrupted, "I'd like to be left alone."

"Raven"

"Leave"

"No, not until we work this out."

Raven scoffs, standing up to leave, but was stopped by Phoenix's hand grabbing a hold on Raven's wrist.

"Let me go."

"Listen for a minute."

"Let. Me. Go. Now," Raven's eyes glowed dangerously.

"I'm sorry," Phoenix said sincerely and unafraid, still holding Raven's wrist.

Raven's eyes stopped glowing, returning to amethyst color with red rims around, staring at Phoenix.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Phoenix said slowly and softly, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Raven scoffs with a ghost smile tugging on her lips, sitting back her original position next to Phoenix, "You didn't hurt me."

"Well, whatever I did… I'm sorry," Phoenix smiles behind his mask, 'Raven is smiling. Well, almost smiling, but a smile nevertheless.'

Raven closes her eyes, the action happening between them is all familiar to her.

"Technically, this is not your fault."

"Huh?"

Raven looks at Phoenix, meeting his golden eyes of his mask, "You just remind me of him…"

"Your friend?"

Raven nods, still kept her eyes on his as if she is searching for something.

"I'm sorry for that then."

They sat in silence for a few moments until Raven gave up and asks Phoenix a question that had been nagging Raven.

"Why can't I feel your emotions?"

Phoenix was caught off guard by the question. He finally answered after gathering his thoughts.

"I don't know. I guess I gotten so good at shutting them out."

"Why do you shut them out?"

"It's easier this way."

"Well, for a girl who shut her emotions for half of her life, take my advice, don't shut them out."

"How come?"

"Shutting your emotions is a form of weakness. I learned it in hard way."

"Huh," Phoenix, unknown to Raven, is grinning from ears to ears behind the mask, 'After all of those years, Raven is finally free to feel'

Raven shifts her gaze toward to the city, 'Why I am telling him this?' Raven wondered, 'He's no one, but yet… There's something about him that makes me trust him. Maybe he is not a bad guy after all'

"I'll try my best," Phoenix replies, pulling Raven out of her thoughts.

"Mm?"

"To let the emotions out."

"Good," Raven nods, "I misjudged you, you are a good guy after all."

"Thank you," Phoenix said cheerfully, "I may not stay on the team, but I hope we can be friends."

Raven looks at Phoenix in surprise by the sincerely in his voice, "I hope so too."

Phoenix chuckles happily, "Awesome!"

Raven almost smiled at his excitement, but another question nags on her mind, "Do you mind if I ask you another question?"

Phoenix shakes his head, "Not at all. Come on, shoot."

"Why do you look out for me?"

"What do you mean?"

"It seems like you look out for me every time I'm in the battle. For example, you didn't show up until I was distracted and Cinderblock was aiming for me. Also, you came to rescue me in the sewer even though it was a trap. Why do you endanger your life for me?"

Phoenix clears his throat, trying to think of a way to answer Raven's question, "It's not just you. I look out for everyone on this team."

"Don't lie to me. Over the year, everyone on the team got hurt but me and that's because you swooped just in time to block an attack aimed for me. You always appear if the attack was directed toward me. You always appear if I was defenseless. Why?"

Phoenix sighs, unable to lie to Raven, "Because…"

Raven stares at him, urging him to continue.

"Because I care about you."

Raven tilts her head in puzzlement, "But, you don't know me."

"I grew up mostly around here, and even if you don't know it Raven, but you saved my life more than once; one too many."

"Really?"

Phoenix nods, satisfied with his almost truth statement, "You are the reason why I'm here as a superhero."

Raven searches his covered eyes before replying, "Well, thank you."

Phoenix chuckles; standing up, staring down at Raven with a hand stretched out, "No, thank you."

Raven looks up, meeting Phoenix's eyes, then to his hand.

"Shall we?"

Raven nods, grabbing hold of his hand. Phoenix pulls her to standing position, ignoring the sparks suddenly flows through his body from his hand.

They stood, holding hands and staring at each other for few moments until Raven realized what they were doing. She redraws her hand, blushing; 'What I am doing? Leave now.'

"Well, good night" Raven said softly before walking toward the door.

"Nighty night, Raven" Phoenix watches Raven exiting the roof before glancing back to the city.

"I'm screwed."

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.

R&R