I'm aware that I mentioned this chapter would probably be in Edward's P.O.V, but I just felt that it was more fitting to be in Bella's for this part. I wanted to clearly get across everything that is going through her mind. You'll get lots of fluff & a few lemons throughout the 'honeymoon' period, don't worry!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it makes me very happy knowing your thoughts on this Fanfic.

Also, thank you to my new beta reader SunflowerFran; your opinions and comments, along with the time you take to read through the chapters, is greatly appreciated.

Chapter 4

Even though everything in my life had always been difficult, I had accepted
whatever it threw at me gracefully. I wasn't the 'martyr' type; I never complained and eventually I learned how to deal with it.

But for some reason, this situation had gotten the best of me.

Seeking refuge in the form of pillows and blankets, I had spent the whole of yesterday in bed, hiding from the world under my duvet, It wasn't often I felt sorry for myself, but for now, I had made an exception.

Irresponsibly, I had deliberately missed my radiotherapy session yesterday, finding myself unable to face Edward without having anywhere to escape. The hospital had already called countless times and I knew that I had to stop being so childish and suck it up and attend my treatment session today.

Missing a session of my treatment wasn't the only irresponsible thing I had done this week; I had also slept with Edward. I had battled with Rosalie, making it clear that Edward and I were strictly friends, but evidently, I had fucked that up.

Of course, in any other situation, I would gladly have become involved with him, but with my current condition, I couldn't subject any man to this; especially a man as wonderful as Edward. I had told myself that there was no point in becoming romantically involved with anyone. The romance would more than likely be short lived, and when I was snatched away from this world, I'd leave behind a broken hearted man and a relationship that didn't have time to reach its peak.

And it was true; that would be the tragic outcome that was hard to comprehend.

So why did I sleep with Edward when I knew all of this?

This was the question that would not leave my mind, no matter how hard I tried to remove it from my thought process. It was imprinted in my brain, forcing me to try and produce a solid answer.

I knew why I had done it, but I just did not want to accept my answer. My hot new nurse was just too damn irresistible. Despite his un-natural flawlessness, I was not only attracted to his looks, but to his mind. In the short space of time I had known this man, we had clicked.

And for me, that was the hardest part to stomach.

I had met someone who was attractive to me in mind, body and spirit, someone who embodied everything I loved. But despite this, I couldn't be with him. I couldn't be selfish enough to have someone love me and then leave them.

Yes, I had slept with him, and in my heart, I wanted to it again and again.

But I couldn't.

I wanted everything he had to offer, but I couldn't take it. That was the harsh reality.

Rolling over in my bed and sighing, I peeked up at my phone, noting that I only had a few hours before my next radiotherapy session started when all of a sudden, Rose and Alice burst through my door.

"Well, at least we know she's alive." Rose screeched, throwing her hands up in the air as she scowled at me.

"Do you realise how worried we've been? You must have a crazy amount of missed calls for Rose and me!" Alice's high-pitched voice was so loud, my ears began to ring.

Before I could reply, tears began to spill from my eyes; tiny droplets falling from my cheeks and covering the pillows with tiny splashes of salty water. The anger radiating from both of them quickly dissolved and they ran to my side, concern crossing their faces.

I began from the beginning, telling them what had happened between Edward and me, and how I had bolted the morning after. Desperately, I tried to explain everything that was furiously circling around inside my head.

After I managed to choke out the story in between sobs and ragged breathing, Rosalie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Bella, did you ever stop and think how Edward feels about this situation?"

I peered up at her, my eyes squinting in confusion.

"What do you mean? I muttered.

"I mean, he knows you have cancer; he's your nurse for Christ's sake. You keep repeating phrases like 'I can't be so selfish' and 'It's not fair to him to be with me' but have you ever stopped to consider that he doesn't care about how much time he has left with you? Maybe he cares about making the most of the time he has with you. I'm pretty sure that a grown man like him knows what he's getting himself into."

I paused, processing Rosalie's words as best I could.

She did have a point; I thought by trying to pull back from Edward that I was doing him a favour, but in all reality, I never really thought to stop and ask him what he thought.

"Bella, you're also looking at this so negatively. What if you give up on this whole thing with Edward, but you end up living a normal life? Before you interrupt me, I know what the chances are, but you could be a living miracle. You could be around for another forty years, and those forty years could have been spent with Edward if it were to work out for you both." Alice interjected.

Staying silent for a few moments, I thought about the advice they had both given me. I wasn't saying that they were correct; I still felt that becoming involved with Edward would be walking on dangerous ground, but I hadn't stayed long enough to discuss any of this with him. If I hadn't run out the front door yesterday morning, maybe we could have discussed all the concerns I had like mature adults.

I pulled my duvet to my left and slid out from underneath before moving from the bed.

"Where are you going?" asked Alice.

"I'm not saying you're both right, I'm still not sure Edward and I are a good idea, but I have to talk to him. I have a treatment session in two hours; I owe him an apology and an explanation." I replied before grabbing a clean towel and heading towards the shower.

"I'll drive." Rose shouted after me as I walked into the bathroom, preparing myself for the painful few hours that were ahead of me; and I wasn't referring to the actual treatment itself.

I anxiously waited for Edward to enter the room where my treatment would be administered. On the drive over, I had insufficient time to perfect exactly what I wanted to say to Edward, but I had managed to refine the gist of how it would go.

I played with my fingers nervously until he finally walked into Room 324.

"Miss Swan." He greeted me, not even glancing my way as he entered the room.

"Edward, I want to expl-"

"There is no need; let's just get you prepped for treatment." He cut me off, his reply so sharp I felt my heart wince.

"No, you need to listen to me." I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.

He sat his clipboard down before sighing and turning around to face me. His emerald eyes were tainted black, the usual sparkle missing. I couldn't help but feel that I had stolen that sparkle the moment I picked up my clothes and left.

"First of all, I'm so sorry."

"There's really no-"

"Please, don't speak until you've heard what I have to say." This time, I cut him off, desperate for him to hear the explanation that I was slightly scared to give.

"Friday night was probably one of the best nights of my life. I've never met anyone like you, Edward. You're intelligent, creative, talented, and cultured, not to mention that you are probably the most attractive man I have ever laid eyes on. We've only known each other a short span of time, yet I feel that we've instantly clicked."

I paused, taking a sharp inhale of breath before continuing.

"But I'm terrified. I told myself that we couldn't be anything more than friends, because it wasn't fair to you. I imagined that a romantic relationship with you would be perfect, and then I'd be taken from you, leaving you heartbroken and alone. I am scared that I'd be robbed of a life that I can see myself having with you—a wonderful life.

"I'm sick, Edward. You've seen my charts and read my files. You know it doesn't end well for the women in my family who have been diagnosed. I'm a ticking time bomb, and I don't want you to be subjected to all of this. You have a full life ahead of you, a wonderful life; I'm a lot of effort and hassle, I would weigh you down with my problems and I just don't think it's fair."

"So that's why I ran off yesterday morning. I had tried so hard to keep up the false pretence that we could just be friends, but when I woke up beside you, I was so happy, so content. And that's when I realised what had happened, and I felt so guilty and so selfish…"

My voice began to break as I reached the end of my sentence. There was a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart that I couldn't ignore any longer. I held my face in my hands as I bowed my head, trying to hide the tears that yet again spilled from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

That's when I heard footsteps coming towards me. I tensed instantly when I felt his touch. He removed my hand from my face and placed a finger under my chin, pulling my face up so my eyes could meet his.

Without saying a word, he leaned down towards me and pressed a soft kiss on my lips.

"I understand what you're saying, Bella, but I want to be with you. Whether we're given a few months or few years together, that's how I want to spend them; together. You said earlier that we instantly clicked, and you were right. I don't think about anything else but you."

He cupped my cheek with his palm as he gently stroked my cheekbone with his thumb.

"I'm all in, Bella. I want to be the reason that you can still smile, even though you have to deal with this shitty situation."

"I don't want you to get hurt, Edward. I'm a ticking-" I replied.

"A ticking time bomb; yes, you've said that already. I don't care, I just want to be with you and make you happy."

"I'll repeat this again, just so it's concrete in your mind.

I'm all in, Bella Swan.

I want you.

And everything that comes along with you, we will deal with it together."