Chapter Four: I Can Feel you Pull Me Down

"No. You don't have to." Marco reassured Manny.

"Do you really think your parents are going to continue allowing me to live in the guesthouse after the find out that … you know?" Manny sighed and looked down sadly. "My own parents aren't there for me and I don't expect yours to take their place."

"Enough with the woe is me bull." Gianni interrupted, sliding his hand under Manny's elbow as Marco looked on angrily.

"It's okay. Can we … have some time to talk?" She asked, biting her lip. "I'll meet you back home, okay honey?"

"Yeah." Marco agreed detachedly, lingering a moment before actually leaving.

"You don't have to put on that face with me. I know you're hurting." Gianni proclaimed as Manny pulled out a tube of lip gloss, applying it vigorously.

"No. I'm fine. You heard them. I was never raped by him." She answered emotionlessly.

"Come on Manny. Don't pull that with me. It's okay to … hate him and break down. I'm here for him."

"So you want me to cry?" She asked as Gianni nodded.

"At least I would know that you were feeling something."

"You don't get it. I'm so sick and tired of crying of everything being completely messed up in my life. I'm not going to--" Manny 's voice broke as she looked down. "let him win. Not this."

scene

"You've gotta stop tempting me." Jimmy rolled over on the other side of his bed, letting the joint that was in his hands fall to the ground without a care.

"Don't waste it." Madison climbed over him and snatched it back from the floor. "Now it's ruined." She frowned and dropped it back down.

"You never told me this stuff was so good." Jimmy smiled goofily. "Wow. I can see through my hand."

"So when you gonna … tell Hazel?" Madison wondered, handling the high better than Jimmy. She was used to this stuff and it was almost to the point where it didn't do it for her anymore. Most of the time, after the high was gone she was back to being depressed … even more so that before.

"Nothing to tell. Don't talk to me about shit like this." Jimmy groaned trying to keep this elated feeling going for as long as possible.

"Fine. We won't talk then." Madison cupped his face, kissing Jimmy forcefully. She didn't have to let go of her inhibitions because high or not, she him. Ring, ring the phone went off, but no one was even listening anymore.

scene

"So, I tried to call Jimmy this morning and even went by his house. We had plans, but no one was there." Hazel began, waiting at Sean's door.

"We're going through all of this again?" He complained, grabbing a jacket. "I was about to go and see Ellie."

"I'll come with you." She offered.

"No, you really--"

"You don't have a car. I do. Let's go."

"Why are you being so weird around me lately? Have I done something to you that I'm not aware of?" Hazel turned down the blasting '90s CD she had playing in the car.

"I thought I already explained it. I don't want Ellie to wake up, if she does, and see us together. I was way too harsh with her and—I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, then let's make a short detour." Hazel offered, pulling into Jimmy's driveway.

"Does he know that you're coming over?" Sean wondered, still on edge because Jimmy hated him.

"Come on. You're my friend and he's so over you drinking his parents' liquor." She smiled, tugging on Sean's arm. He followed behind sluggishly. "This'll surprise him." Hazel pulled out a key from her purse.

"You have a key?" Sean shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah. Come on." Hazel walked up the stairs smiling happily. She couldn't wait to see Jimmy.

"You're really into this, aren't you?" Sean wondered.

"I love him." She couldn't stop grinning, bursting open the door and eating her words. Jimmy was sleeping, like she thought he would be, but he wasn't alone. And within the room was the distinct smell of weed in the air. "Let's go." Hazel breathed deeply, taking a more passive approach to the situation. He would have a good explanation for this. She just knew it.

"Hazel…" Sean ran after her.

"I don't have anything to say. We're going to see Ellie!"

"No, we're not. Jimmy is an idiot--"

"No. He made a mistake. I'm sure he … has a good reason. He does have a sister I never met and I left before I could talk to him. I'm sure it's no big deal, so let's go."

"No." Sean protested again, this time allowing himself to make physical contact with Hazel. "He's cheating--"

"Don't say anything about it. You don't know." Hazel replied accusingly.

"He is in bed with another girl. How much clearer can I make it Haze?"

"Stop. Please." She crumbled, sinking onto the sidewalk. "I can't … I…" Sean stopped yelling at her and looked down at Hazel sympathetically. She was completely broken and he had in part caused this. Sean knew that he was doing this to push her away and it was working, until he started to feel guilty.

"Hazel, get up." He demanded, refusing to allow himself to show anything more than coldness. "Hazel…" As she continued sobbing, Sean slumped down beside her. "Look, I had no right to say that, okay? Jimmy loves you."

"Evidently not enough." She stopped to look at Sean, caught for a brief moment by the gray of his eyes.

Sean stared back for a while, confused by what was going on but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her searching ones. Hazel was looking to him to save her. Wide-eyed like a child, she was asking him to do something that he was afraid to, to …

Kissing her softly, he felt a wet tear pierce his cold cheek. "I love you." The words flowed from her lips so naturally and without anymore thoughts or inhibitions.

"Did you just say --"

"Let's go see Ellie. I'm sure she's waiting for you." Hazel quickly wiped away her tears and returned to her happy, carefree look that stayed with her all the time. At one time, before I had taken the opportunity to get to know her, I thought she had no problems. Hazel always seemed jovial and a little too perfect.

And now I knew why. That was her face that protected her from everyone else. I had my anger, she had her happiness. It was weird how it felt like it worked for that brief moment … the two different emotions and completely opposite people.

"We're here." Hazel announced, looking at me intensely as I shrugged it off walking into the hospital and on my way to Ellie's room which I knew so well.

(A/N: The next part seems random, but to stay consistent with the real show …)

"Hey," Liberty spoke to JT for the first time in months.

"How are you?" He wondered as she shrugged shyly.

"You mean being cheated on by Gianni or … other stuff."

"You know what I mean Liberty. No one deserves to have that happen to them." He began.

"I don't need a lecture. I take responsibility. I should've never gotten into that fight with Manny. It had nothing to do with you." She lied. If JT had never broken up with her in the first place, she would have never approached Gianni and later fought with Manny, which was the exact reason why it was just her now. No baby.

And in many ways, she should be thanking Manny. Liberty should say, 'Thank you for making my life less complicated. Thank you for securing my future.' Yet something inside of her had been warming up to the idea of being a mother. She had even done research on how to foster rapid and healthy development during the most important stages of a child's life, but now … nothing.

"I didn't come over here to talk to you about this …"

"But we've never even discussed it." JT argued. "The only thing that happened was--"

"I know what happened." I snapped as a memory of me having a huge emotional breakdown in front of the entire school on the morning announcements flashed into my mind. "I'm over it."

"Okay." JT backed off, his feelings somewhat hurt. "What do you want then?"

"Can we be friends?" Liberty asked, studying her hands closely. They looked so … old, just like she felt. That's what losing a child did to you, she guessed.

"Friends?" JT's face scrunched up as he took a moment to really think about it.

"Don't make me beg. I won't do it. I have too much pride for that." She looked at him seriously.

"Whatever you want." JT nodded, backing away slowly. That was weird. Majorly. Three months ago, she was over him and with Gianni, trying to desperately hide the fact that she was showing and now Liberty wanted to be his friend

"Weird." Toby commented, evidently witnessing the whole ordeal.

"Seriously." JT shook his head as Danny passed, giving him an evil glare. Now, when would that kid grow up?

scene

"Ellie… it's me, Sean." He began, not knowing that she was fully awake, but too embarrassed to open her eyes. What would she say to him, 'It was your fault?' and 'If you leave I'll try it again?' That was what she felt, but on top of everything Ellie felt stupid. She had not only betrayed his trust, but her friends, and her own. If she couldn't get over this problem now, it would only get worse. Stress never lessened

(A/N: This chapter is FAR FROM OVER … well, it is kind of long but I have more for Ellie/Sean and of course Manny's triangle, but you have to tell me WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE first. I don't want to write something completely random or that will turn you away … and I'll be updating "La Tortura" from now on. –NL)