HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

Chapter 4.

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Dean was mad. No, that was actually an understatement - Dean was downright furious! He'd hoped that Sam would have either remained oblivious to the fact that he had been about to go through surgery or that the older brother would at least have been able to explain the situation to Sam. But no; that goddamn idiot anesthesia doctor had not only woken Sam up but had also told Sam that he was about to have surgery! Sam – the sweet, sensitive kid that he had always been – had of course panicked, and Dean had spent what little was left of Sam's awareness (before anesthesia pulled him under) assuring his little brother that everything would be okay, that he would be by Sam's side throughout it all. Of course that hadn't been possible since Dean wasn't allowed in the operation room, so the oldest Winchester brother had been pacing back and forth in the waiting room ever since they'd wheeled Sam away – anxiously waiting for news about his younger brother.

The waiting room had luckily started to become more and more vacant, but Dean still recognized some of them as the same people that had been present when the Winchester brothers had first arrived in the ER. A couple of them sent stolen looks towards the fuming older brother as he stomped back and forth, alternating between glancing at his clock and asking for info at the nurses station, but no one in the room dared to stare at him for long.

Besides being angry at the anesthesia doctor, Dean was angry with his dad as well. He'd called the man earlier to let him in on the situation – getting the older hunter's answering machine as always - and he had emphasized that Sam was so badly injured that it had even required surgery. But John Winchester hadn't returned the call. Nor had he given Dean even the slightest sign of having acknowledged the call at all. Dean didn't understand; why wasn't his father rushing to the hospital this very second to be there for Sam? Just for once in his life? This wasn't a soccer match, a parent-teacher meeting or a graduation ceremony – this was Sam's life on the line for God's sake! Dean knew that his dad and little brother had had their differences, that they'd butted heads more times than Dean could remember, and that the last time the two of them had faced each other, it had resulted in a bad fight which had ended with Sam leaving for Stanford. But John Winchester was always there when it really mattered.. so where was he now?

Some laughter coming from a row of seats nearby caught Dean's attention and tore him out of his thoughts about his dad and baby brother. Two teenagers were entertained by something one of them was showing the other one on his cell phone - while loudly commenting on it while doing so.

"Look, look! He's choking! And here comes the blood!" The teenager with the phone said with a grin on his face and the other teen eagerly watched whatever was going on, on the cell phone screen.

"Looks like he's having a little trouble breathing with the blood he's coughing up." The other teen remarked and Dean stopped his pacing since the comments were starting to sound unnervingly familiar. "Oh man, he's so gonna go down!"

"In three, two, one.." The guy with the phone counted down before both teenagers roared with laughter. "Water all over the place! Poor sucker!"

"Hey!"

The teenagers startled by the sudden exclamation and appearance of the guy in front of them before exchanging confused looks with each other.

"Let me see that." Dean said, waving a hand towards the phone the teen was still holding on to.

"Eh.." The teenager began, obviously hesitant and confused as to why the guy who had been walking back and forth in the waiting room with angry steps suddenly wanted to see the video on his cell phone.

Dean – having no patience whatsoever – snapped the phone from the teenager in one quick motion and pushed the 'play' button to see the recorded video.

"Hey!" The teenager exclaimed.

"You have no right to.." The other teenager started but both of them silenced when Dean shot them a glare that could have made even the mighty John Winchester think twice before opening his mouth again.

Dean's heart dropped to his stomach when his suspicions about the video was confirmed – it was indeed a video showing how Sam had struggled to breathe, had tried to get up from the floor in a desperate attempt to get to his older brother but had failed miserably as his eyes had rolled back in his head and Sam had collapsed into the side of the water machine.

"You think this is funny?" Dean asked in a cold voice, the teenagers writhing under the hard look the older Winchester brother was pinning them with. "You think watching my brother choking on his own blood is funny?"

Both teenagers paled at the same time, neither one of them daring to answer the question.

"I should kick the crap out of both of you!" Dean threatened in a low and dangerous voice. Teenagers or not; no one was allowed to make fun of Sam – except for Dean himself – and especially not about such a serious matter. Sam was going through frigging surgery right now and these guys were turning it all into a big joke?

"Look dude, I swear we didn't know it was your brother." One of the teenagers said and held up his hands in defense.

Dean rolled his eyes and was about to teach these boys a lesson on what happens when you mess with Dean Winchester's little brother, but he was interrupted when Loretta waved at him from the nurses station.

Sam. It had to be news about Sam.

"Consider yourself lucky." Dean said to the teenagers, deleted the video with Sam from the phone and dropped the phone into a Styrofoam cup of coffee on a little table nearby – smirking on the inside as the teenagers desperately tried to save the sinking phone from the hot coffee – and rushed to the nurses station.

Loretta raised an eyebrow at the commotion Dean had left behind but let it go as she faced the worried big brother.

"Sam?" Dean asked.

"Out of surgery." Loretta confirmed with a smile, feeling so happy for being able to bring some good news for once.

"How is he? He alright? Can I see him?" Dean rattled away and Loretta held up a hand to stop Dean for asking any further questions.

"Sam's in the ICU." Loretta said. "I'll show you to his room."

"The ICU?" Dean asked with concern as he followed Loretta down the corridors. "Isn't that for patients needing critical care?"

"The doctor will let you in on all the details." Loretta assured him but that wasn't enough for Dean.

"Loretta, please. I'm begging you." Dean said, stopping up in the middle of the hospital corridor and looking at the nurse with big green eyes. "I need to know. Please."

Loretta sighed and saw not only a worried big brother in the eyes of the young man in front of her but also a scared kid. How old was this Dean anyway? And his brother? The thought tore at her maternal instincts.

"Look, I don't know much more than you do." The nurse said. "All I know is that Sam's surgery went well but that he isn't out of the woods yet. The doctor will explain it all to you."

Dean nodded and swallowed nervously before allowing Loretta to lead him the last bit of way to Sam's room in the ICU.

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Dean drew circles on Sam's palm with a thumb as he sat by his younger brother's bedside – keeping an eye on the monitors attached to Sam's body while waiting for his little brother to wake up. The oxygen mask covering Sam's mouth and nose was fogging with every breath Sam let out – after every breath the ventilation machine helped him take in. The doctor had told the oldest Winchester brother that they'd managed to close off the injury that had been made by the broken rib which had stopped the bleeding inside Sam's chest, but Sam's oxygen levels were still low and the younger brother needed respiratory therapy to assist his lungs for now. The doctor couldn't tell when Sam would be able to breathe entirely on his own again – especially not since Sam was showing signs of developing pneumonia which wasn't exactly what the younger Winchester brother needed at this point.

Dean brushed Sam's bangs out of his brother's eyes and sighed when he felt the warmth on Sam's forehead that indicated an increasing fever. The older brother was glad that the doctor had at least removed the tube from Sam's throat and had replaced it with the facial oxygen mask instead. Sam would have freaked out if he'd woken up to a tube sticking out of his mouth and – despite the fact that Dean once in a while wished his brother would just shut up – this way Sam would be able to use his voice, and Dean was really longing to hear that voice right now.

The older brother glanced at his watch and washed a hand down his face. It was way past visiting hours but Loretta had pulled a few strings and had allowed Dean to stay by his brother's side. Not that anyone could have prevented Dean from staying anyways – not when Sam needed him.

You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks.

Dean frowned as he recalled the fight he'd had with Sam in Indiana. He'd meant what he'd told his younger brother; that Sam was being selfish for always walking away from his family to do what he wanted to do. But Sam had come back to save Dean the moment he couldn't get in touch with his older brother and he had apologized for leaving in the first place.. so why was it so hard for Dean to forgive and forget?

You and me - we're all that's left. So, if we're gonna see this through, we're gonna do it together.

Those words from Sam had meant the world to the older Winchester brother and even though he'd held on to those words when they'd left Indiana, the fact that Sam had left him in the first place had come back to haunt him. In the end, that had overshadowed everything else and Dean had felt hurt and disappointed in his brother. Dean could clearly understand why Sam had been confused as to why Dean had suddenly been pissed at him since Dean had accepted the younger brother's apology at first, but Dean just couldn't let go of the fact that Sam – of all people - had chosen to walk out of him as well.

"For such a brilliant guy, you can be quite a dumbass sometimes, Sammy." Dean said with no heat behind the words and continued to draw circles on Sam's palm with his thumb.

None of it mattered right now though; Sam was injured and Dean was gonna take care of the kid – not distress him by any means. They could discuss their issues some other time when Sam was back on his feet and breathing properly on his own again. Until then, Dean wouldn't let his brother out of his sight. He just wished Sam would wake up soon though. The wait was starting to get long.

"I am Sam. I am Sam, Sam I am." Dean suddenly started reciting as an old childhood memory popped into his head. "That Sam-I-am, that Sam-I-am, I do not like that Sam-I-am. Do you like green eggs and ham?"

Sam had loved that children book when they'd been kids – a birthday gift from Bobby that Sam had received when the brothers had been left in the older hunter's care on Sam's fifth birthday. Dean remembered how miserable Sam had been that day since their father had been away on a hunt and hadn't been able to be there on Sam's birthday.

"Dean, does Daddy hate me?" Sam had asked his big brother with big teary eyes that had broken Dean's heart right on the spot and which still made his heart ache now so many years later.

"Of course he doesn't, Sammy. Dad loves you, okay?" Dean had answered. "Why would you even think that he hates you?"

"He's always away." Sam had pouted. "Even today."

"Well that's only because he has to. But I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll stay with you always." Dean had promised and had never once broken that promise. Even when Sam had been away at Stanford, Dean had been close as often as possible without Sam ever knowing – just to make sure the kid was doing alright.

Bobby had given Sam the book "Green Eggs and Ham" and the youngest brother had made Dean read it over and over and over until Dean could remember the words without even opening the book. When Sam had woken up after a particular bad nightmare, Dean had sometimes recited the words from the old children's book to sooth his brother and it had always managed to calm Sam.

"I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham." Dean continued – wasn't sure whether he did it to sooth Sam or himself for that matter.

He'd just reached the last part – "I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am" – when he felt fingers gently curling around his hand. Dean looked down at Sam's face and noticed a pair of groggy, green eyes staring back at him.

Sam was awake.

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TBC..

Reviews are more than welcomed! ;)

-Elisa.