FLAWLESS 4

Disclaimer: E L James owns Mr Grey and the rest of the fifty universe I'm just playing with them. All mistakes are my own.

ANA POV

I was tired this morning, I wasn't sure what time I got back in last night. I must have nodded off in the back of the car because I remember waking up outside my apartment.

Saying goodbye and thanking Taylor, I quietly walked into my apartment hoping Kate was not still up as I didn't want the third degree, only tripping over two of her shoes.

I had gone straight in to use the bathroom and had then fallen asleep on top of my covers. Too much studying, work and late nights were not good for my health.

Waking up the next morning, I cringed when I was blinded by the sunlight streaming through my window as I had not closed the curtains the night before.

Walking into my bathroom, I gave myself a scare when I peered into the mirror.

"Very fetching Ana," I said to myself. I had panda eyes and my hair looked like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards. Washing my face and pulling a brush through my hair I shouted Kate.

"KATE ARE YOU UP" we both had the same examination together today, so we needed to be ready to leave on time. Hearing nothing, I walked towards her bedroom door and knocked.

Nothing, I knocked again but all was quiet. Peering inside, I shielded my eyes in-case there was any naked body's around. Unfortunately, I had learned my lesson the hard way with Kate's room, once walking in there and seeing her asleep between two men, one of them asking if I would like to join, I squeaked out a "No Thanks" and had swiftly made my exit.

What I was greeted today with was a mess, clothes strewed everywhere, dirty cups on her bedside table. I don't know how she lives like this, she's always dressed in nice clothes. I'm sure she just buys clothes, wears them once and then leaves them on the floor. If I had OCD I would be panicking by now.

I quickly left her room and shut the door, I know the rest of the apartment would be like that if I didn't clean it up.

I took a quick shower, shorter than I would've liked after being in Kate's room and got myself ready to leave, grabbing a quick cup of tea before going out the door.

I sent Kate a text reminding her of the exam, having no idea where she even stayed last night or if she would even turn up today.

Making my way towards the university, I was thinking about last night. I think I shocked myself with how comfortable I felt with Christian I had never just sat and talked like that before.

When he had offered me a tour, I felt panicked at first. I needed to stop letting Morton dictate my life, so I took the first step and took his hand.

As we stepped into the theatre I could feel him all around me. I was feeling aroused, not by what was happening on the stage but because Christian was pressed up behind me rubbing my shoulders.

I came out of my daydream as I crossed over the road to the university. I said hello to people I knew and headed towards the examination hall. I couldn't believe today would be my last day here, apart from graduation it was like the end of an era.

I found my seat and looked over at Kate's which was still empty, if she didn't turn up soon she was going to miss the exam. At the last minute, as the examiner was about to close the door Kate walked in like she didn't have a care in the world, as if it didn't matter if she missed it.

"Where have you been" I whispered to her.

"It took me a while to get here" she shrugged.

"Who were you with."

"Todd, Tom I can't remember" I looked at her shocked.

"I wouldn't be here if dad didn't make me" she sighed as if getting an education was the worst thing in the world. I wanted to slap her, my god I'm not a violent person but I wanted to slap some sense into her.

I shook my head at her, she just didn't care.

The examiner placed my paper down onto my desk, as I looked towards the front waiting for the exam to begin. Kate was trying to get my attention, but I chose to ignore her.

"Please turn your paper over and start," the examiner said in a raised voice so everyone in the back could hear.

I answered every question, checked and rechecked every answer and before I knew it, it was over.

I had done it I was very proud of myself, it was a long road and was hard work trying to find the time to study and work at the same time, but I can say to myself, I did that.

"Ana" Kate called after me.

"What Kate," I say exasperated.

"I'm sorry Ana, I've not been a good friend recently." She says.

"Kate, you might not need your diploma and already have a job lined up, but I don't. You ask for something from your parents and they hand it over no questions asked. I only have Ray, I know if I told him I needed something he would go into debt for it, but I don't want that. You don't know how hard it is to know you have to go to work whether you feel like it or not because if I don't, I don't eat"

"I would never let you starve Ana, you're my best friend even though I haven't acted like it lately"

"I don't want that Kate, I would never sponge off your parents because that's where your money comes from" She looks away ashamed.

Looking at Kate she looks lost for words, I suppose I have never spoken my mind before but I'm tired of going round in circles and feeling like a doormat.

"I will see you at home Kate, I'm going for a walk"

I left her stood outside the examination hall and walked down Main Street towards my favourite cafe.

Walking inside I said hello to Harry who was behind the counter and ordered a tea and a slice of carrot cake. It was a lovely warm day, so I decided to sit on the terrace outside.

I was deep in thought, so I didn't notice his shadow until I heard his delicious voice down my ear.

"Penny for your thoughts" he whispered and kissed my cheek from behind.

I smiled up at him.

"Don't tell me you're thinking about carrot cake again?" he said looking down at my plate. That made me laugh.

"Hello Christian, you're a bit far from home aren't you".

He smiled down at me and took the seat facing mine, placing his coffee onto the table between us. He told me he had been to visit the university.

"My company sponsors the horticulture department, here at the university. I had a meeting with the Dean, to make sure the money I donate is being spent in the area it's meant for."

"That's a very generous thing to do," I said softly.

He looked down, troubled by something. "It's the right thing to do, unfortunately, we cannot eat money so anything I can do to help with funding research and development so people don't go hungry I would like to help" he whispered.

"Are you ok," I asked reaching over and touching his hand.

He flipped his hand over and kept hold of my hand while he took a sip of his coffee.

"How was your final exam" he enquired changing the subject. I could tell there was something behind his smile, but he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I wouldn't push him, hopefully, he would tell me when he was ready.

"It went well, I'm glad it's over and hopefully I will finally get a good night's sleep."

"I will be back next week for the graduation ceremony, as a sponsor I have been asked to give the commencement address."

That surprised me "You will be giving me my diploma then" I laughed.

"Very much so, Miss Steele I look forward to it."

I passed Christian a fork and shared my cake with him.

"Walk with me please," Christian says helping me up, unwilling to relinquish the hold he had on my hand.

We walked hand in hand into the local park, I thought he might have let go of my hand in public with him being well known but he doesn't, and I'm ok with that.

"What had you so lost in thought, when I came up to you," he asked.

I turn to look at him and sigh.

"Kate," I say.

"That bad, what has she done," he asks me.

"I shouted at my best friend today Christian, she was nearly late for her last exam because she was off with who knows what, she couldn't even remember his name and I told her off. What type of friend does that make me, I'm her best friend, not her mother, I worry about her. It's like she has changed overnight, her comments to you asking if you were gay is proof of that. Six months ago, she would never have said that. I think her parents are putting too much pressure on her to succeed but instead of speaking to them and saying she's struggling she's rebelling against them" I say.

We find a bench to sit. He pulls me close putting one arm around my shoulder and kissing my forehead, never letting go of his hold on my other hand.

"We're best friends, like sisters Christian but I'm tired. We're supposed to support each other but sometimes it feels one-sided, I always try to look after her and be there for her when she needs me, but lately, she's never there when I need her. I don't know. Maybe I'm jealous of her, she's such a free spirit doing whatever she wants, jumping from bed to bed not having a care in the world" I sighed

"No, that's not me. I couldn't be like that,". I whispered.

I look up into his eyes, angry eyes.

"Don't ever change Ana, you're perfect the way you are."

"thank you" I nodded.

"I'm sorry Christian, you probably are out for a quiet day and got stuck with a mad woman, ranting". He laughed.

"There is nowhere else I would rather be," he said looking into my eyes.

I felt safe here next to him, watching children playing in the park, people walking dogs it was Normal, it was nice without having to run off to one class or the other or work.

"Franco told me," he said bringing me out of my thoughts.

"About you being Flawless" he continued.

I turned myself on the bench to face him. "It's ok I told him I was fine with you knowing. I just hope you're not going to tell anyone."

"I wouldn't, I would never tell anyone Ana," He said shaking his head.

I nodded "Don't get me wrong I'm not ashamed of doing the photos, in fact, I'm proud of myself for having the courage to do them, it's just not something you want your dad to find out about" I cringed

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, but can I ask you why you did them" he enquired.

I looked into his beautiful Grey eyes and told him the truth.

"I wanted to prove to myself I was beautiful, I wanted to prove to myself I wasn't ugly" I felt him stiffen.

"When you're told it often enough and put down by someone who's supposed to care about you it's hard to believe you're anything else, for once I put myself first and chose to believe in myself."

"Who" was all he said to me angrily.

I shook my head to him.

"I'm not ready to talk about it yet, in time maybe" he nodded his head at me, I would tell him when I was ready.

"Come on let me take you home" he smiled.

I took his hand and he led me to his car. A very nice car. He opened the door and helped me in.

"No Taylor today?" I enquired.

"No, he's visiting his daughter today and it's a nice drive down here".

"Buckle up," he said strapping me in.

"You know I can strap myself in, I'm very capable."

"I know but where would the fun be in that" he smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.

"Yes sir" I saluted him.

He chuckled and told me to behave.

I gave him directions to my apartment. I asked him in for coffee, but he told me he had a long drive back to Seattle.

Before we got out of the car we exchange numbers and he agreed to send me a message when he had gotten back home to Seattle.

Standing on my doorstep, he looked down at me cupping the sides of my face waiting for me to say no, I nodded to him and he lowered his head to mine.

Pressing his lips to mine they were so soft, softer than I thought they would be as they moved together. My hands moved into his hair gently tugging. It caused him to groan into my mouth as he deepened the kiss sliding his tongue against my lips as I opened them to him causing our tongues to clash together. I could feel his erection against me as he pulled me closer, but he didn't push any further, my perfect gentleman.

We broke apart needing to breathe.

"I'm going to be busy all this week with work, but can I take you to dinner after your graduation," he asked me resting, his forehead against mine unwilling to move.

" I would like that; my dad will be here for graduation but will be leaving shortly after to drive home," I tell him.

He gave me one last kiss on my forehead, getting back into his car he drove away. As soon as he was out of sight I turned hearing the apartment door open.

"So, who was that" Kate enquiries.

"Please, Kate not today," I say walking past her.

"I'm tired and I want to catch up on some sleep," I say goodnight even though it's only the afternoon and leave Kate standing in the kitchen.

"Ana please" she called after me. "later Kate," I said as I closed the door.

I woke up in a dark room, looking at the clock it was only 9 pm. I reached over for my phone finding I had a message.

Hello beautiful, I just wanted to let you know I was back home ok – Christian

Hello Christian, thank you for letting me know, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I was catching up on my beauty sleep – Ana

You don't need beauty sleep, you're beautiful enough – Christian

Ah Christian, always a perfect gentleman, I hope you have a good night, I can hear Kate moving about I had better go and face the music – Ana

Don't take any crap from her baby, I know you feel a responsibility to her as a friend, but she needs to take responsibility for her actions, not you. I will speak to you soon, Laters baby – Christian

He called my baby, if I did a happy dance I wonder if Kate would hear me. Probably knowing my luck, I reread his messages smiling and went to find Kate.

I found her sat on the couch, the Kavanagh Media news channel on. She smiles up at me, her eyes red from crying.

"What is going on Kate," I say, I don't think I have seen her look so sad and down.

"I'm so sorry Ana, so sorry, I'm struggling, I'm trying to live up to my parent's expectations, but I can't," she says as she had tears streaming down her face.

" I know everyone thinks I'm spoiled, I depend on you too much for everything, you shouldn't have to pick up after me. I don't know what is wrong with me, ever since I was little it was always, when you grow up you will do this or that, never a choice but what about my dreams, what I want to do"

"The problem Kate is you have been handed everything that you don't know how to do anything on your own. You need to stand on your own two feet Kate You always said you want to be a journalist, what has changed" I asked her

"It still is, I want to make my own way, find my own job. You took on a job and will still get a higher GPA than me because you studied."

"Only you can do that Kate, talk to your parents and let them know how you're feeling, tell them you want your own dream not there's." she nodded.

"I'm going to call Ray, I told him I would let me know how my exams went" with that said I walked back to my room to call my dad.

My dad was happy to hear from me, letting me know about the fishing trip he was taking tomorrow with Jose senior. He told me how excited and proud he was for my graduation next week, we talked for an hour before saying goodnight and I went into the lounge to find Kate.

She was sat on the couch, talking quietly, she had been crying again but she seemed happier than earlier, she hung up after telling her mum she loved her and came over and gave me a hug as thanks for persuading her to call her parents.

"They're ok, we're going to have a long talk when they come down for graduation" she smiled.

I walked over towards the freezer and took out the Ben and Jerry's vanilla ice cream.

"Share," I said holding the ice cream up to her.

"Always," she said as we tucked in.

We quickly polished off the ice cream and talked for a while, she asked who I was with at the door, I didn't tell her I just said it was someone I had met recently and was seeing where it was going before I introduced her. She nodded before she excused herself to go to bed.

I wasn't ready to share Christian with anyone at the moment, I will introduce them eventually, but I didn't know what we were yet, I will ask him next time we meet face to face. It's going to be a long week.

I made a cup of tea and then went back to my room. I checked my phone to see if I had any messages and there was none.

He's probably asleep Ana I convinced myself, debating whether to text Christian or not. God, I was driving myself crazy arguing with myself.

I picked up my phone and decided to text him.

Good night Christian – Ana

I didn't expect him to text me back, so I was surprised when my phone beeped a minute later.

Hi Ana, I thought you would already be asleep – Christian

No, I'm wide awake with having a nap earlier. Are you not tired yet you had a long drive today – Ana I replied back to him.

I don't sleep well baby, I'm lucky if I get a few hours' sleep a night – Ana

that saddened me I wondered what kept him up at night.

Can I call you – Christian he messaged me back.

Please do – Ana

Within a minute my phone rang.

"Are you ok?" I said to him.

"Yes, why what's wrong" he sounded worried.

"You said you didn't sleep well, is there something wrong that keeps you up" I could hear him sighing.

" Just nightmares Ana, it's nothing to worry about they're not every night, I didn't have a great start to life and sometimes that crap likes to pop back up when I least expect it."

"Do you want to talk about."

"No Ana, not tonight. It's not a conversation I would like over the phone I would rather talk face to face."

We talked for a while until we couldn't decide who was yawning more.

"I will let you get some sleep Ana and I will try and get my head down. I will call you tomorrow if that is ok."

"Of course."

"Christian" I called him.

"Yes beautiful," he said to me.

"I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thank you, Ana. I will speak to you tomorrow."

We said goodnight and I put my phone down on my bedside table and tried to get some sleep, it took some time before I finally succumbed to sleep dreaming about a gorgeous copper-haired man.

Thank you for all the love I have received for my story, I'm glad you like it.

Caroline x