The Fingers of Your Fire Chapter 4: Episode 14 HellO Part 3 Puck, a glee fanfic

(Author's note: if you haven't yet realized this, there is a parallel story to this one about Adam Lambert, entitled Just Keep Coming Around, in which Kurt and Adam begin their friendship. If you're not completely turned off by RPS, please don't miss that sweet relationship. Kurt won't be a significant part of this story, so that's kind of his place to shine. I do promise Kurt will feature in the next story, to be set in the summer, which is halfway done already. I've had this scene in my head for some time, so it's nice to get it down onto paper. Also, I know Karofsky is absolutely awful here, but he was in the show, too, in first season. And he has good reasons for it. If you know me, you know I love Dave like anything, so just trust me and I'll get him where he needs to go eventually. Enjoy. -amy)

Episode 1.14: Hell-O, Part Three - Puck

Puck knew it wasn't a good sign when he spent the first week back at school after winter break feeling combative. Nobody was looking at him directly in the eye, but he was feeling like he might have to force the issue. He wasn't going to miss the opportunity to prove that he hadn't changed since he drove away from Ohio in December to find himself. He bolstered his swagger and put his hand on Kurt's waist as they stepped away from the Navigator. Yeah, this is my boyfriend, his posture said. Yeah, I like dick. What are you going to do about it, huh?

But it was just bluster, even if he and Kurt were the only ones who knew it. He also knew he wasn't ever going to rid himself of his reputation as the tough bad boy. He supposed it would have been hard for anyone who didn't know him to realize that the slim, stylish figure at his side was the one in charge of him - or that it was exactly what Puck needed, what he'd craved all his life. No matter; he wasn't going to disabuse them of their beliefs. At McKinley, the name Puck was synonymous with badass, and it wasn't the worst cover in the world. He had enough people in his life who knew him for who he really was.

Kurt, for one. Puck shifted his hand from Kurt's waist to take his hand, smiling at him with feigned confidence. Kurt smiled back, tentatively giving his hand a squeeze. Kurt was used to being the underdog at school; being out as Puck's boyfriend wasn't going to change his social standing all that much. It wasn't going to make anything easier for Kurt, either, but he could assume Kurt would be able to handle it himself. Kurt was more in charge of things than just about anybody at their house right now.

Puck heard Finn enter the doors behind them, talking to his friends on the basketball team. Finn understood him, had, in fact, all his life, since they'd been kids. Puck could count on Finn to accept him for who he was, even if Finn wasn't in any position to be in charge of him at the moment. He knew it was going to be a hell of a long road back to where they'd been, after all that shit between the two of them. And anyway, Finn was entirely too caught up in his new relationship with Carl for it to matter right now. It was a little weird seeing Finn fall into such familiar patterns of submission, but at the same time, Puck was happy knowing he was getting what he needed.

He watched Finn approach Rachel in the hallway, giving her a smile. It wasn't the smile he gave to Puck or Kurt in the morning when they woke up, or the stupid one he had when Carl was around, but it was just for her, and Puck tried not to let the resentment show in his face. Finn had never been jealous of Puck, taking his girlfriends. Frankly, Puck had always thought that jealousy was something that happened to other people. Now that he was feeling it about Finn, it was kind of pissing him off.

There wasn't any reason to feel jealous, he told himself. Whatever Finn was doing with Rachel, it wasn't anything like what he had with Puck or Kurt. But watching Finn, knowing he was hiding, alone - Puck knew just how much that sucked, especially considering how much Finn hated lying. He wanted to be public at school with Finn, as much as he'd wanted it with Kurt. And waiting for the right time wasn't Puck's strong suit. The fact that Finn was willing to be Rachel's pretend boyfriend, but couldn't be Puck's real one - that really sucked.

But at least there were their friends, some of them unlikely, who knew the truth: the kids in Glee who'd accepted him with open arms. Mercedes, Santana, Quinn, Tina - even Matt, who was super religious, and Mike, who still seemed completely freaked out about the idea of two guys together, much less three - they'd all slowly come around. And Mr. Schue, who'd turned out to play for their team in some capacity, even if he was still hiding it from most people.

Puck heard a snicker and an indistinct snide remark as he passed the junior lockers. He glared in the general direction of the comment, but Kurt murmured, "Let it go, sweetheart," and he subsided a little. He got it; they would have to pick their battles. But he wasn't going to let anybody fuck with Kurt, not when he was around to stop them.

"Not hiding's easier, huh?" he said, as a group of freshman broke into giggles when they walked by.

Puck felt Kurt sigh. "It will be. Give them a little time to recover after being home from vacation. They're completely starved for gossip."

"And you want to give it to them, is that it?" Puck smirked, thinking of Kurt kissing him in the parking lot at Pat's. He glanced around to make sure there were no teachers watching, then took Kurt's shoulder and gave him a little push against the bank of lockers they were passing. Kurt's eyes widened, and he startled back.

"What -" Kurt got out, his face red, before Puck closed on him. It was almost exactly like the situation they'd been in dozens of times before, Puck slamming Kurt up against the lockers, demanding something from him. Only this time, what he was demanding was a kiss. There were at least two wolf whistles and two cries of "gross," but Puck didn't care.

"You," Kurt breathed, when Puck was done, staring up at him with a fixed, somewhat glassy expression, "are in so much trouble."

"I was kind of counting on that," Puck agreed, grinning, his face inches from Kurt's.

He backed away, holding out his hand, and Kurt took it - just as Karofsky rounded the corner. His eyes narrowed as he focused on their joined hands, and he scowled.

Kurt stiffened, but Puck tugged him along past Karofsky's staring eyes and continued on toward class. Kurt didn't let out his breath until Karofsky was out of sight.

"He's just another guy, Kurt," Puck muttered. "Don't give him the fucking time of day."

But Puck could feel the residual tension in Kurt's body, long after Karofsky was gone. It made him anxious enough that he decided to shadow Kurt to creative writing class. He didn't care about being a little late to chemistry. Kurt stopped him at the door to say goodbye, acknowledging Brittany's wave as she pushed past them.

"You guys should make out behind the file cabinet in the Cheerios' office," she offered helpfully. "That's totally my favorite place. Oh, that, or the boys' locker room."

"Thanks, Britt," Kurt said, successfully avoiding rolling his eyes. Puck wasn't going to tell her about his favorite place to make out. He wasn't sure how they'd gotten away with keeping their attic room a secret for the last month, but he appreciated its presence more than ever now. He hoped Brad would let them keep their agreement - moving the boxes of music downstairs for Mr. Schue, in exchange for having the safe space for the three of them - even now that he and Kurt were out at school. Finn sure as fuck would still need it. And he, himself, might need it after what he was planning to do in Glee today.

He hadn't thought about singing it at all until Mr. Schue had asked them to do songs that had the word hello in them. Puckzilla never said hello. He actually wasn't sure he'd ever said the word before. He said hey. And there was a song that started that way, a song with which he'd become intimately familiar in the past several weeks.

The way he'd originally heard it, it was a nice song, fitting with his standard repertoire of thoughtful guitar ballads, but on the studio album, it was... different. Angry, kind of. He knew by now it was P!nk's style that made it that way, because she mostly sang that kind of angry chick music. Puck didn't think he was harboring any kind of anger about things in his life these days, because things were a hell of a lot better than they'd been three weeks ago. But then he'd stopped by Finn's locker on his way to history yesterday, and Finn had shown him the calendar.

"What the fuck is that?" he'd asked, and Finn had laughed.

"Um... Rachel made it for me. For us." The bemused smile on Finn's face had made Puck's brain hurt, but he kept it to himself. That picture was just crazy. "It's a calendar of stuff we can do together. Look, we're going to see Phantom at the autistic children's center on Wednesday. You should take Kurt."

"So, what, are you guys, like, going out or something?"

Puck had meant it as a joke, but Finn had shrugged and said, "Something. She sure seems to think so, anyway."

"Really." He gave Finn the signature Puckerman eyebrow. "Because dating girls worked so well for you the last couple times you tried it."

Finn sighed, but it was more testy than resigned. "Hey, I don't think you're one to talk, considering who you went to Santa Fe to see. Or who you came back with in your pocket."

Puck wasn't going to talk about Adam at school, and Finn knew it, but Puck bristled at the mention of his other lovers. "I like chicks, dude. Always have, always will. You, on the other hand, seemed pretty clear you weren't interested in them anymore."

"Yeah, well, things change." Finn slammed his locker and glared at Puck. "You know that, too."

"Hey," Puck said, stung, but Finn went on down the hall without him. The words he wanted to shout after him were the title of the song - so it got him thinking.

Puck thought the whole thing through that night, eating dinner by himself in his little apartment downtown next to Carl's office. At first he thought the acoustic version would be sufficient, just him and his guitar, because the words alone conveyed what he wanted to say to Finn. But this thing with Rachel had him all riled up. The song needed an edge. He picked up his phone.

"Hey, Artie, my man," he said.

"Who is this?" Artie asked suspiciously.

"It's Puck. Listen, I need a favor, of the axe variety. You know a drummer?"

Once he got Artie through the why are you calling me questions, and assured him he wasn't planning any more dumpster trips or port-a-potty adventures - he made sure to apologize for that again - and hedged his way around the why aren't you asking Finn to play drums question, they got on more comfortable footing and started talking music. Artie agreed to back him on the bass, and to find Puck a drummer.

He thought, briefly, about asking Kurt or Adam if they thought this was a good idea. He actually thought he might know how Kurt would react, at least. That maybe should have given him pause to reconsider - but really, Kurt had enough to worry about. And Adam... well, he'd been a little on edge himself the last couple days, with his album release and everything.

Puck was glad, at least, that Kurt and Adam seemed to be becoming friends. More than friends, if Kurt's behavior was to be believed over his words, but Puck wasn't going to push him. Adam had sent him flowers, after all, even if Kurt said they were just an apology for his drunk phone call.

He was kind of surprised Kurt didn't seem to have any of the stuff in his bathroom that Puck needed to do his face the right way, but Sarah found some in her makeup kit.

"What do you need it for?" she asked, handing him the little tube.

"Glee," he said vaguely. "I'm singing a song, and I have to look the part."

So by the time American history was wrapping up the next day, Puck managed to convince the substitute he had to go set up for his number a little early. He found Mr. Schue in his office. Mr. Schue looked up in surprise when Puck poked his head through the door.

"Hey, Puck," said Mr. Schue. "Just trying to figure out what to do now that the Cheerios are using the auditorium half the time... what can I do for you?"

"Just getting ready for my song. How's Toby liking his new digs?"

Mr. Schue smiled in embarrassment. "He's adjusting," he said, pushing his chair back from his desk. "Mornings are hard for him. It's going to be a while until he gets used to going to bed before midnight like a sane person. But he'll be all right." He nodded at Puck. "How are things for you and Kurt? I've been keeping my ears open for anything untoward, but it seems like you guys have mostly been left alone?"

"There are rumblings," Puck shrugged. "I don't think it'll be too long before something happens. Uh, maybe today. That's what I wanted to tell you about. This song... it's kind of important to me, and I want to do it right. You got a mirror?"

Rachel seemed to want to walk arm-in-arm with him wherever they went, which wasn't a problem for Finn except that she was a lot shorter than him, and it was a little uncomfortable, leaning down to link elbows like that. "You're going to sing a hello song, right, Finn?" she said brightly.

"I don't know." He hesitated in the doorway to the choir room, looking back at Kurt, who was chattering with Mercedes. "I'm feeling a little off my game these days."

She gave him a sympathetic pat. "I know you didn't quite make your best showing at basketball this week, but you'll do better next time."

"Not just basketball. It's everything. The thing with Puck..." He couldn't really tell her more than that, but it was good to have a sympathetic ear. He settled himself into a chair on the risers, watching Artie and the drummer from jazz band set up. "What's Artie playing?"

"I don't know. And don't worry... it'll take a while before you and Noah can really be friends again." Then Rachel froze, her eyes locked on the door to Mr. Schue's office. "Oh... my."

"What - ?" Finn caught a startled glance from Kurt, who looked just as stunned as Rachel. Then he saw Puck. Holding the microphone.

In flawless eyeliner, his gaze directed right at Finn.

"Oh my god," he heard Kurt say.

"I don't really say hello," Puck said, his voice flat and grim. "The first line of this song is about as close as I come. But it asks a question that... that needed to be asked, anyway."

He began a simple riff on his electric guitar - one that was familiar by now, even to Finn. Kurt had turned positively white. The rest of Glee was mystified, but riveted on Puck's dramatic change in appearance, and the room was silent as he began to sing in a breathy, intense style. It was entirely unlike Puck, and completely compelling at the same time.

"Who is that?" Rachel whispered.

"Adam Lambert," Finn whispered back.

Hey
Slow it down
Whataya want from me?
Whataya want from me?
Yeah, I'm afraid
Whataya want from me?
Whataya want from me?

There might have been a time
When I would give myself away
Once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are
So whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Hazel eyes stared out at him from dark-painted sockets. Finn couldn't look away. As the drums kicked in, Puck's expression became pleading.

Just don't give up
I'm working it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see
that baby you're beautiful
And there's nothing wrong with you
It's me, I'm a freak
but thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly

Finn swallowed, feeling Rachel's confused glance, but the music wasn't letting him go. It wasn't just the song. It was Puck, singing it for him, asking him for - for something he wasn't ready to give. No. Not anymore.

There might have been a time
When I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Artie, Puck and the drummer rocked out until the song's conclusion, and as the whole room burst into applause, Puck finally looked away. Finn felt like he'd been picked up in enormous jaws and shaken.

"Finn?" Rachel said, so many questions in her voice.

"I - " Finn began, then stopped. He had no idea what to say.

He needn't have worried; Rachel answered them in her own way. "He's in love with you," she said sadly. "And I suppose that's to be expected." She sighed. "You'll just have to let him down easily. He was your best friend, once, after all."

"He... was," Finn said. "I thought he still was. Maybe he could be again, someday."

Finn wouldn't have seen the aftermath if he hadn't tried to follow Kurt out to get his reaction. Kurt looked almost more upset by the performance than Finn had been, but he didn't have anything to say about it. He simply took Puck by the arm - in a completely different way than Rachel ever did with Finn - and they walked briskly toward Puck's locker.

They almost made it.

"Hey, girly," said a raunchy voice, full of inappropriate innuendo, and Finn and Rachel's eyes both snapped up to see Karofsky and three other hockey players, holding slushies in their hands, standing in all three of the exits. "You're looking lovely today. Did you do something with your hair?"

"Get away from him, douchebag," Puck growled, but Karofsky's grin was manic, and he wasn't looking at Kurt.

"I was talking to you, pretty boy," he said, drawing it out, and his friends sniggered. "Look at that makeup job. What happened to your lipstick?"

"Came off when I gave your friend there that blowjob," Puck said shortly. One of the hockey players started for Puck, but Karofsky gave him a brief shake of his head, and he held back, snarling.

"You've got quite a mouth on you, Puckerman." Karofsky's gaze narrowed, and he approached Puck. "You want to open up and take what I've got for you?"

"God," Finn muttered, and he started forward, but Rachel held him back.

"He's not going to hurt him," she whispered. "Just - don't interfere. It's better that way."

"No, it's not," Finn said, shaking his head. "It's fucking bullshit is what it is." He raised his voice. "Leave him alone."

Karofsky's eyes lit on Finn, and his smile grew. "'Bout time your other boyfriend came around."

Finn's heart stuttered and nearly stopped, but he managed to keep going, feeling his hands tuck into fists. "You're gross, Karofsky. And you can't treat people like that. Not Kurt, not Puck, not anybody."

"Oh, yeah?" Karofsky's lip curled, and he raised his own fists a little. Finn was taller, but Karofsky was bigger, and Finn had a sinking feeling who'd win if it came to a fistfight. He hoped it didn't. The two of them had too much history. And he'd done enough hitting of his friends. Former friends, he thought, and felt something tear inside his chest.

"Get out of here, Kurt," he said. Kurt stared at him in disbelief, but Finn stared back, and there wasn't any hesitation in his command. "Go on."

Kurt took one step away, then looked at Karofsky, and fled. Karofsky and the three hockey players closed on Puck.

"It's just you and me, now, pretty boy," He dropped his fist and held up the slushie. "You need a new 'do. That mohawk is so last year."

Puck actually grinned, keeping his eyes off Finn. "Hey, I can take anything wet you want to splash me with. Give it your best shot." He ran seductive hands down the front of his t-shirt. "Come on, Karofsky. Right here."

For a split second, Finn thought Karofsky might back down. He wasn't angry. He looked absolutely terrified. Then his chin firmed, and he brought back his hand, and all four slushies landed directly in Puck's face.

Karofsky's finger was pointed at him next. "You'd better watch it, Puckerman," he hissed. "You're in for it now. You and your fucking boyfriend."

"I'm counting on it," Puck shot back, but it just wasn't as powerful a statement when said through blue, purple and red colored ice. He wiped the residue from his eyes and stood alone in the center of the hallway in his own personal puddle, glaring at the hockey players as they all strode away.

"Dude," Finn said, but Puck shook his head, looking suddenly tired. The six feet between them felt like miles.

"You can't," said Puck.

Finn didn't move. "I know."

"So get the fuck out of here. You and your girlfriend." It was said without rancor, but Finn felt it anyway, a stab to his heart.

"Come on," Rachel said, tugging his arm. "You did everything you could."

Finn knew it wasn't true, but it was all Puck was going to accept. He wished he had the guts to do more.

Puck wiped his hand off on the quilt that covered the mattress in their attic room, and shivered. It was cold up there. The ice running down his butt crack didn't help, either. With his reasonably clean hand, he dug around in his backpack until he found his phone. He only hesitated for a moment before dialing the number.

"Hummel Tires and Lube, this is Burt."

"Uh... Burt, it's... Puck."

"Puck?" Burt was instantly on alert. "Is something wrong? Did something happen to Kurt?"

Puck stifled his sigh. "No... it's me. I'm... uh, I could use a change of clothes. And underwear."

There was a pause. "Do I want to know the details?"

"Probably not," Puck admitted.

"Yeah. But you'll tell me them anyway, if I bring you clothes. Where should I meet you?"

He found an alcove to hide in downstairs by the side door, managing to avoid being stared at by too many more students. The quilt kept him from shivering as he made his way to Burt's truck.

"You can leave your truck here overnight?" Burt said gruffly. "They won't tow it or anything?"

"Wouldn't be the end of the world if they did," Puck said, looking away from Burt's scrutiny. He knew the eyeliner wouldn't escape his notice, but Burt didn't say anything about it. He did reach behind his seat and hand Puck a reasonably clean towel, which Puck used to wipe off his face.

"That quilt," Burt said. Puck tucked it around his shoulders as Burt cleared his throat. "Elizabeth made that. Kurt's mom."

"Oh," he said, suddenly worried, but Burt gave him a mild smile.

"It was old when Kurt was born. Kurt had it on his bed until we got him that duvet, and he never looked back." Burt shook his head. "I'm not sure I want to know why it was at school."

"Trust me, you don't." Puck used the towel to wipe under his eyes, and came away with two dark smudges on the cloth.

"I brought the clothes for you, but I figured you might want to just get dressed back at - the house."

"Thanks." Puck leaned his head back on the seat, closing his eyes. "I can make dinner tonight."

Burt's voice was soft. "You don't have to do anything in return. It's your goddamn house too."

Puck wasn't sure how to explain that he wanted to, or that it still wasn't his house yet, even though Burt had offered it to him. So he just nodded, and said, "Sarah's a good cook."

"She does just fine." Burt reached out and put a hand on Puck's knee. "What do you want to talk about first?"

Puck found himself starting back on the first day of school, when Mr. Schue had given the Glee assignment, and he didn't stop talking until long after they'd reached the house. They sat in the driveway, letting the motor idle and the heat turned up all the way on Puck's soaking frame, and Burt listened to Puck tell about Finn and Rachel, and Kurt, and Karofsky. When he got to the part about Finn telling Kurt to run, Burt let out a long, slow sigh.

"It's better," Burt said, as if to himself. "It's better that way. Kurt doesn't need any more crap from that Neanderthal."

"Yeah, well, he's definitely got a bug up his butt about Kurt. And me, now, apparently." Puck shrugged. "I'm not afraid of Karofsky. And I can take care of any crap that Kurt gets, too."

"Mmmm." Burt turned off the engine and sat back in his seat for a moment. "And who's going to take care of you?"

For a second, Puck felt the panic race up his spine, and he clutched at the cushion of Burt's passenger seat. No Kurt. No Adam. No Finn. I'm alone.

Then Burt was there, unbuckling his seatbelt and helping him down from the passenger side, supporting him like some fucking invalid as he shivered his way to the door. "Go on into Kurt's bathroom and get cleaned up," he said, pressing the bag of clothes on him. "And don't worry about dinner. We're taking care of you tonight."

That was about Puck's limit of parental care, and he found himself crying helplessly into Burt's arms. Burt didn't make any noise about it. He just took Puck into the bathroom and set him down on the edge of the toilet, and helped him struggle out of his soaked and sticky t-shirt and jeans. "It's okay," he murmured, discarding Puck's clothes in a heap on the tile. Kurt never would have allowed that, but from Burt, it was fine, and Puck sat quietly in the tub while Burt ran him a bath.

"You're not going to, like, wash my hair or something, are you?" Puck said, glancing at Burt over the edge of the tub. Burt snorted.

"I won't tell anybody if you won't," he said, and reached for Kurt's favorite shampoo.