CHAPTER 4: Why do you care?

SMALLVILLE MEDICAL CENTER-2007

¨Mr Luthor, she´s ready for surgery. Would you like to see her before she enters the operating room? ¨

¨What´s the prognosis, doctor? ¨he asked, trying to keep his composure.

¨She´s lost a lot of blood but is stable now. However, I can´t lie to you; this´ll be a complex surgery, ¨said the surgeon sympathetically. ¨If I were her, I´d like to know there´ll someone there for me, waiting for me to come out. ¨

¨I´m not the one she wants to see, ¨he responded grimly.

¨You brought her here and, considering what we´ve talked in private... ¨

¨It´ll make things worse, doctor. She hates my guts. ¨

¨Have you tried... ? ¨

¨I´m sorry, doctor. There´s more to this than what I´ve told you. You wouldn´t understand, and I really don´t feel like sharing my private life with a complete stranger. I hope you won´t take offence... ¨

¨Of course not. I´m just thinking of what´s best for my patient. ¨

¨Then, believe me when I say I´m not what she needs right now. ¨

¨And what about what you need? ¨

¨I can´t indulge in the luxury of thinking about me right now, doctor. ¨

¨She should hear what you´ve just said. There might be a chance of her not hating you so much were she to know how deep you care for her. ¨

¨It´s the only way I know of protecting her. ¨

¨Protecting her? ¨

¨As I said before, you wouldn´t understand and you´re wasting precious time. ¨

¨Don´t let her enter that operating room without seeing the face of someone she knows, ¨finished the surgeon, squeezing Lex´s arm and walking up the corridor to get ready.

Lex debated with himself whether it was wise to step into Chloe´s room knowing how things stood between them. The doctor´s words had sunk in more deeply than he cared to admit. They had reminded him of Lillian and the fact that he hadn´t been allowed to see her before she passed away. He had been deprived of that last consolation. Chloe´s situation might not be the same, but he doubted she´d ever let him get near her again.

He knew she´d want to see Clark by her side, and he toyed with the mobile in his pocket torn between what he wanted to do and what should be done. Still, his selfish streak won the battle, and he decided to put off the call till later.

Donning scrubs and booties, Lex opened the door to the sterile room. His eyes were immediately drawn to the fragile-looking young woman on the bed- and he felt his stomach tie up in knots. The usually feisty and fiery blonde was lying on her side with her eyes closed when he walked in. Her initial immobility had scared him so much that, believing she wasn´t breathing, he had rushed to her bedside only to see her eyelids flutter open and her beautiful green orbs focus on his face. Lex got lost in those green pools he had come to love so much and saw the tears suddenly well up.

¨Chloe, ¨he murmured, feeling a big lump in his throat.

She stifled a sob and rolled over to avoid holding his gaze. She hated the whole situation, appearing weak in front of Lex of all people when she needed him to see she wasn´t someone he could manipulate with his threats.

Lex closed his eyes and clenched his fists when she turned her back to him. He felt so helpless and loathed the sensation.

¨Just go away, Lex, ¨she rasped. ¨This won´t earn you any points. ¨

¨I´m not looking for extra points, Chloe, ¨he responded, pleased to see he could control the tremor in his voice. ¨I just thought... ¨

¨What? You just thought what, Lex? ¨she exploded, turning round and feeling her tears roll down her cheeks. ¨That I´d forgive you for taking my dad away from me? That you´d get me with my defences down and convince me to forget what you´ve submitted my mother and me to at 33.1? ¨

¨No, ¨he said curtly, making a supreme effort to hold her irate gaze. ¨This was a mistake. I´ll leave you alone. ¨

¨Tell me, Lex, ¨she said when he was already at the door. ¨Why? ¨

¨Why? ¨he echoed with a puzzled look.

¨Yes, why can´t you just let me be? ¨

¨There are things in this world bigger than you and me, Chloe. ¨

¨Don´t give me that now, Lex. I don´t know if I have the time to... . ¨

¨Don´t say that! ¨he snapped, seeing her frown and look at him questioningly.

¨Don´t tell me you´ve got scruples all of a sudden, Lex. ¨

¨The doctor´s confident about the operation. You can´t get into that OR thinking like that. ¨

¨And why do you care? There´d be one freak less on your list of potential menaces, ¨she said bitterly.

¨I´ve never wanted this, Chloe. It never should have come to this, ¨he said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

¨What do you mean by ´this´, Lex? Me lying on this bed? Or my hating your guts? Because as much as I´d like to blame you for my current predicament, I´m afraid you´ve got nothing to do with my condition. ¨

Lex shuffled his feet and fought an internal struggle to decide whether or not to blurt out the truth and kill any possibility they might have of ever patching things up between them.

¨Chloe, I cannot blame you for not wanting to set eyes on me again. God knows I´ve done things of which I´m deeply regretful, but as far as it concerns you- whether you believe it or not- your well-being has always been first on my mind. ¨

¨Poking me and testing me without my consent, wiping out my memory and implanting a tracking device in my right shoulder is part of your twisted way of showing me you care about me? This is unbelievable, Lex. Is this some kind of retribution for what happened four years ago when I wasn´t able to testify and help you keep your dad behind bars? You thought a taste of your father´s medicine would be fit for my ´betrayal´? ¨

¨You didn´t betray me, Chloe. We both know that´s not true. ¨

¨Do we? I honestly can´t remember, but- knowing you and seeing what our relationship´s been like after I came back to Smallville- it´s the only conclusion I can arrive at. I only have to be around you to know something big´s happened between us, something you can´t forget and for which you deem me responsible. I´m not stupid, Lex. You wouldn´t be this vengeful unless you considered me the scum of the earth. What was it I´ve done to deserve so much spite? ¨she asked quivering, feeling the tears brim her eyes and hating herself for being so weak as to ask him for an explanation. She loathed him -she had to keep reminding herself, and he didn´t deserve her tears.

¨Chloe... ¨he murmured throatily, focusing his gaze on his polished Italian shoes in an attempt to pull himself together.

¨I can´t believe the son of the great Lionel Luthor can´t look at me in the eye or even find the words to give me a straight answer, ¨she said bitterly. ¨You know what? It´s OK, Lex. I didn´t expect you to be honest with me. We both know how good a liar you can be. You might have deceived Lana, but you can´t fool me. I know you, Lex. ¨

Lex raised his eyes now back in control- at least to outward appearances- and held her passionate green gaze. She didn´t know how true her words were. She had once held the key to his heart, his soul and his deepest secrets- hell, she still did and she simply wasn´t aware of it! He had done a damn good work at concealing it and got what he wanted- she hated him.

¨Mm, ¨whined Chloe, bringing her hand to her abdomen and gritting her teeth in pain.

¨You´ve got to enter that OR immediately, Chloe, ¨said a blanched Lex, getting closer to the bed. ¨I´ll take care of everything, ¨he added, pressing the buzzer for the orderly to come over.

¨I don´t need anything from you, Lex, ¨she murmured, biting her lower lip.

¨You´ll get it just the same, Chloe, ¨he stated, looking at the way she was cutting her lip.

¨You´re hurting yourself, ¨he whispered.

¨I hate you, ¨she hissed, boring her eyes into him and feeling an unwelcome tightening at the pit of her stomach.

¨Do you think I´m not aware of that, Chloe? Hold to that hatred if it helps you get through this operation. I´m sure Clark would be devastated if you gave up fighting, ¨he finished, making his way back to the door.

¨Lex? ¨asked Chloe breathless when he had his hand on the doorknob. ¨Why do you care? ¨

Lex closed his eyes tightly, fighting the urge to turn around, sink to his knees next to her bed and unburden his soul.

¨We were friends once, Chloe, and, whether you believe it or not, I´ve always been watching for you. ¨

¨You´ve already said that, Lex. The Truth. I want it, Lex. You owe it to me. ¨

¨The truth? The truth, Chloe, is something I doubt you´d be able to handle, ¨he thought, turning the knob. ¨Good luck, Chloe. Clark´ll be here when you wake up, ¨he answered instead, shutting the door firmly behind him.