Um… Professor?
Chapter 4: Left
A/N: It has been brought to my attention that I never introduced James' little voices properly. Prongs is his bad side and RJ (responsible James) is his (well now, obviously) responsible side. By the way, this is un-betaed. I was too excited that I had stopped procrastinating and finished this chapter.
It's been two weeks since her detention, and Lily was in the middle of DADA. Everyone was working on an assignment, most people in pairs or groups. Professor Potter was passing out old assignments.
"Professor," came the breathy voice of Michaela Gushing next to him. "What did you think of my essay," while batting her eyelashes.
"Um, just fine," he said confusedly. He had put comments on everyone's paper. He continued passing out the rest of the papers.
"Pathetic," Lily murmured.
"Excuse me," Gushing said.
Oops. Lily thought. She had meant to say that in her head.
"Well, I mean you were kind of obvious there," Lily decided it was best to not lie. She would have seen right through it anyways. "Actually, more like blatantly obvious," she said under her breath.
"Do you want to repeat that?"
"No. If your tone is any indication. Than you already heard me," Lily didn't understand why she was being like this to her. She hadn't done anything to her.
Michaela stood there looking shocked at her.
"Lily," a voice from behind said. Potter was standing behind her, holding a few papers out to her, smiling.
"Thank you, Professor," Lily replied, smiling at him and took her papers. Michaela stomped away. Lily kept doing her work, feeling satisfied.
"Evans," Lily turned around to see Thomas Orpheus standing there. "Can we work together?"
Lily was unsure. She usually worked alone, but she saw Gushing glaring at her and said, "Love to." Gushing was Orpheus' ex-girlfriend.
"Sweet," he said smiling brightly.
Stupid blond. James thought bitterly. The boy was flirting with Lily candidly and James was this close to walking over there and telling the boy off. Wait a second. I'm the professor. I can. James stood up from his desk and walked straight over to them.
"If you're done chatting I'd like to see what you've got done," he said firmly.
The two were clearly surprised. But Lily handed him her paper and sent a look to Thomas.
"Alright," he handed back her paper, "But enough of your prattle. You're distracting the other students." And he walked away.
Once he was gone Thomas turned to Lily and said, "What a weirdo. You know I don't think he likes me."
"What makes you think that?"
"He just gives me dirty looks and is always cold to me. Unlike everyone else, who he's so nice to."
"Oh I don't think that's true," Lily said quietly.
"Are you joking. Especially you, he loves you."
Lily laughed lightly, "Oh that's silly. He doesn't have favorites."
"I don't know about that, but I do know you'd be my favorite," he said looking into her eyes.
"Oh. You're sweet," she said blushing. He was quite fetching, and rather smart. And damn fine.
"Well I'm serious," he said without breaking eye contact. "Listen, I know we don't know each other too well and I hope you don't think that I'm being too forward, but I was wondering if you'd like to hang out this Friday."
Lily was shocked. Since the beginning of the year, she and Thomas had talked quite a bit, in between classes and before. He was always friendly and nice to her, but she wasn't quite sure. Suddenly the voices of her friends ran through her mind. He'd be such a great boyfriend. Do you like him? He's fucking hot. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. He seems cool enough. You better have sex with him or I will.
"Sure," she said with a smile.
"Great," he said as the bell rang, "See you later."
"What was that?" a grinning Chloe said with Elizabeth and Emmilia at her side.
"Looks like someone was enjoying a hearty flirt," Elizabeth quipped.
"Oooooo, someone's getting laid on Friday," Emmilia teased.
"You're not cute," Lily said as seriously as she could. She dropped her assignment on Potter's desk.
"What are you guys gonna do?" Chloe asked excitedly.
"He didn't say," Lily realized, "He just asked to hang out Friday." They walked to the door as her friends pondered what Orpheus had in mind for the date. Mostly Chloe and Emmilia with Elizabeth throwing sympathetic looks to Lily. When Lily made an obvious eye roll, Elizabeth decided to step in for her.
"You know what I realized, guys?"
"What?" the girls asked.
"I don't get to be a kid enough," when her friends didn't respond, she continued, "I'm way too mature. I don't relate to most of the kids our age. I get along so well with adults cause they're always like, 'Oh you're so responsible,' except I'm not. I just act old, and I can't stop it. I'm always mature all the time. I don't even understand how one begins to act like a kid. But I have to. I've lived almost all my life as an adult I need a chance to grow up, but I can't because I'm already up!"
"Right," Emmilia said after a pause. But Lily mouthed Thank You to her. Elizabeth loves to rant.
The next day in class, it was a lecture day, and Thomas was sitting behind her, talking to her. Lily was kind of hoping he would shut up. He wasn't saying anything very interesting and was distracting her from her notes. She noticed he was laughing at something he had said, so she faked a laugh for him.
"What's with the chatting back there?" Professor Potter screeched at the pair. Lily shrunk into her chair ashamedly, but Thomas smirked at him and sat back with that cocky grin on his face.
"Sorry. Professor," he said cheekily.
Oh God. I'm gonna kill him. James thought.
He continued with his lecture, trying to ignore the sour, guilty look on Lily's face. He remembered the very happy, blushy look on her face he saw yesterday. When she told her friends about her date.
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"What are you guys gonna do?" Chloe asked excitedly.
"He didn't say," Lily realized, "He just asked to hang out Friday."
James heard this and his jaw dropped. Thankfully the students just walked by him, as he sat at his desk, mouth agape. Soon he noticed that the room was empty. Hell the fuck no.
James flipped out. Who was this kid? Who did he think he was? Lily was way too good for him. Stupid blond boy. He officially hated that little fuck. And he knew he had to do something. Wasn't entirely sure what yet, but Prongs seemed to have a few (slightly illegal) ideas.
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"So, Lily," Thomas whispered to Lily. "I was thinking about Friday,"
"What about it?" she asked discreetly.
"Well I was thinking, we could skip dinner and go-"
"That's IT!" James yelled. "Detention you two," he said pointing to Lily and Thomas. "Friday night. Seven o'clock."
"What!" Thomas exclaimed.
"You heard me." James was incredibly satisfied with the way blond boy's smirk was ripped off his face.
Lily was surprised at how relieved she felt. She was pissed off at first. The fuck is his problem? But after that she realized, this means no date. He was nice, but she wasn't sure if she had any romantic feelings for him. Just add another friend to the list, she thought bitterly. Soon class ended and Lily bolted out of there.
"Lily wait up," it was Thomas. "I'm sorry that was my fault."
"No it's alright," she lied. "It is too bad. I was looking forward to our date," she lied a bit more.
"Oh you don't think I'd give up that easily, did you?" he said with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Oh no, no, no. I think I know what you're thinking. I am not skipping detention."
"No, don't worry Miss Head Girl. We wouldn't want to spoil your squeaky clean record."
"I'm not that squeaky clean," she said indignantly.
"Sure you're not. Hey I'm going this way. See you later."
"Bye." And she walked back to the Heads dorm to do her homework.
While she was sitting in her common room, her friends came barging in.
"Lily I am so disappointed in you," Emmilia said standing in front of her with her hands on her hips.
Lily put her head in her hand in a mock thinker stance and said, "Do tell why?"
"You are still going out with Orpheus even though it is clearly killing your illegal lover."
"Oh for God's sake," Lily sighed.
"That's obviously why he gave you detention."
"Illegal… oh I got it," Chloe said smiling.
"I knew he had a thing for you," Elizabeth said wisely.
"You are all insane. I don't know why I hang out with you," Lily said trying to return to her work.
"No, no. we must talk about this. You are clearly in love and don't worry I've already forgiven you for not telling me. I just want to know what you plan to do about it," Emmilia said seriously.
Lily had to admit she felt something towards Potter. It was at the very least lust, but then again what female student of his didn't feel that too. She remembered her detention with him. He had made her laugh and unlike most of the boys she knew, he was able to keep up with her in an intelligent conversation. He listened to what she said, and unlike most of the boys she knew she wasn't bored to death listening to him. It wasn't like other boys weren't good listeners; it was that they were poor talkers.
"Well, he's my professor… but he's quite good looking," she confessed to her friends.
"This is good. Keep going with it," Emmilia said excitedly.
"Well, he's very smart and funny, and… actually I don't know much about him. But I'd like to," she added in a whisper.
"Yes!" Emmilia exclaimed.
"Whoa, right there. You can't be getting a crush on him no matter how great he is," Chloe said, "He's your professor. Even if you both like each other, it couldn't work. I'm sorry."
"Hey, Chloe," Elizabeth said, "Shut up. We all know it's wrong and everything-"
"Elizabeth, please. She's right. It's foolish to think about it," Lily interrupted, looking down at her feet.
"No. Shut up, Lily. Aren't you the one who's all into the 'cosmos'? Talking about how the stars help determine our greater purpose. How many times have you told me that 'the fates must be against you today'? What if this is one of those, Lily. What if it's meant to be?"
"Elizabeth, I see where you're coming from, but it-"
"No buts," she crouched down to Lily and took her hands, looking intently into her eyes, "If it's meant to be, it will be."
At this, Lily couldn't help but believe her. Elizabeth was rarely profound in this way. Whenever she was serious, it was always about people and their people problems and problems with people, not fate like this was.
"Awww, thank you," Lily said wrapping her in a hug. "But I'm still not sure what I'll do," she said looking at her friends with a somewhat frantic look on her face.
"I think you should forget this crush and go with the sensible choice," Chloe chimed in. The three other girls looked at her with confused faces.
"Uh huh. Now what would that be?" Emmilia said skeptically.
"Um, let's see, maybe the guy who's our age that's interested in you, Lily. Thomas," Chloe replied.
"Oh come on," Emmilia stated exhaustedly. "Why have vanilla when you can have chocolate?"
"Mmm. Chocolate," Lily said dejectedly to the floor.
"You do realize she was using a metaphor, right?" Elizabeth told her.
"Well I'm just saying," Lily muttered.
"Anyways," Emmilia began, ready to jump back into her rant.
"No, not anyways," Lily said and jumped up. "We're done here. More importantly, I'm done here. I have work to do and if you guys are just gonna try to sway my feelings, then you should leave, because we all know I am not easily swayed."
Her friends just sighed and turned to leave. Lily held Chloe back though.
"I know you're worried," she said to her sweet friend. "But don't be. It's probably just a schoolgirl crush."
"I know," Chloe assured her smiling. "But people have done stupider for less."
"And for how long have I been stupid?" Lily said. Chloe just smiled and left.
Actually, I think I've been stupid for a few weeks now. Lily thought to herself when the portrait hole shut.
Friday came quickly and Lily was nervous. She was thankful that she wouldn't have to be alone in the same room with Potter. She was sure she would do something stupid if they were alone. Unfortunately, she was wrong.
James was in his room getting ready, again. He knew Lily must be angry with him for ruining her date. He was going to go to dinner and then straight back to his office in time for the detention. He went to his two-way mirror and said, "Sirius?"
His friend appeared and so did their other friend Remus.
"Hey Prongs. What's up?" Sirius said, clearly in a good mood.
"Hey Moony. What are you boys up to tonight?" James said trying to sound nonchalant.
"Just hanging before we go out tonight," Remus replied. "What are you doing?" he added, trying to hide the suspicion in his voice.
"Oh nothing. I just needed to talk to Padfoot," giving a pointed look to said friend.
"Is this about the student?" Remus said knowingly.
"Sirius!" James shrieked indignantly. "You told him?"
"You didn't say I couldn't."
"I thought it would be pretty clear he wouldn't approve," James said.
"And you were right for once. I don't," Remus cut in, about to prepare a speech.
"Moony, spare me the lecture, I beg of you," James pleaded.
"Well if you had let me continue, you would know I wasn't about to," Remus said and took a deep breath. "My advice to you is to think about the consequences. And if you find that she's worth the risk, I suggest that you tell her your feelings instead of beating around the bush, and that you make no quips about that last point."
Sirius however, was chuckling at his side.
"Thanks Moony," James said. "Well I gotta go. See you boys around."
When the mirror went black, James laid back in his bed and thinking for a long time. He decided it was best not to let this get out of hand. He knew he might end up doing something stupid and needed to avoid that. I should talk to her.
For the love of magic! No!
Don't listen to this fool. But I do have a better idea.
No, shut up you. I know what you're going to say, and that will only make matters worse.
This is what you do, James. Poor your little heart out to her, and she'll be putty in your hands.
No. Just no. If you have any true feelings for her, you'll wait to get to know her more.
Why wait? You're James Potter. Player extraordinaire. How many women have swooned to you? Who knows? Too many to count.
Come on, he's an adult now. Please, James. At least pretend to think. You don't even know how she feels about you.
She's clearly in love. What girl isn't.
James it's too risky. Even for you.
Nothing is too risky for us.
James, please-
No. Listen, James-
Shut up!
James took a few deep breaths. It was true he didn't know how Lily felt about him. But he did think he caught her looking at him in class a few times. That could have been his imagination though. He couldn't understand why he was so hesitant about all of this. He was usually confident with women and they fell all over him. Even here, the females flocked to him. Except for Lily. She was cool, calm and collected around him, while he got sweaty palm and speechless and stuttering. And if he wasn't stuttering he was ranting on and on. James knew the only way he could find out if this girl had any romantic feelings for him once so ever, was by confronting her.
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Lily walked out of the library at about a quarter to five Friday and was accosted by Thomas Orpheus.
"Lily," he said.
"Oh Thomas! You scared me," she said jumping back.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You ready?" he replied, not sounding too sorry at all.
"Ready?" she said confused. Their detention didn't start until seven.
"Our date?" he said smirking at her.
"Oh… yes, of course," she said. And he took her hand, leading her outside. "Don't you want to get dinner?" she said hopefully.
"Don't you worry about that. It's all taken care of." And he continued to drag her out to the lake, where they found a little picnic set up on a remote bank, sheltered by old oak trees. The sun was just about to go into setting and it shone off the dark blue water brilliantly.
"Wow, Thomas. This is wonderful," she said in awe.
"Well I wasn't about to let a little bump in the road ruin our date," he said sitting down on the blanket and motioning for her to join him.
"You know we could have also just rescheduled," she suggested.
"I also thought that this would make the night evened out," he continued with a smile. Lily chuckled a bit.
They talked about school and such. Thomas dominated most of the conversation, and Lily was thankful, for her mind was elsewhere. He had some sandwiches and assorted picnic food, no doubt nicked from the kitchens. He talked a lot about Quidditch and his friends and what he planned to do after Hogwarts. She was thankful that he was satisfied with her one word answers. She looked at the sky and saw the sun was almost set.
"Look, the sun's setting," she said, cutting in on whatever he was said. And they sat there and watched the sun set. "We should be going," she said looking towards him. She checked her watch. 6:40.
"Yeah," he said looking at her. He didn't move though. He just stared at her with a funny look on his face. Lily stayed sitting there too, looking right back at him, waiting for whatever was about to happen.
He started to lean into her closing his eyes slightly. Lily just looked at him waiting. She felt really awkward. It wasn't romantic. You'd think that with the sunset and the romantic picnic by the lake it would be, but it wasn't. She didn't really want to kiss him, but that would be even more awkward. Lily was shifting her eyes, subconsciously looking for an escape. She sighed inwardly. His mouth was about two inches from hers and his eyes completely shut at this point. So, she closed the gap between their mouths and shut her eyes.
His lips were soft and gentle. He cupped her cheek in one hand and grabbed her waist with the other. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss. Thomas was enjoying this greatly, while Lily, although she admitted he was a good kisser, was hoping this would end soon. It just wasn't what she wanted. He had other ideas though, and tried to get his tongue into her mouth. This is when she pulled away.
"We really gotta go now," Lily said simply. He had a glazed over look in his eyes and a smile across his face. He didn't seem to notice that he just got owned.
"Yeah. Sure," he said nodding and got up. They walked together to detention in silence. Lily felt awkward and was glad they were going to detention where they would have to be silent.
Before they made it to the door, Thomas grabbed Lily by the shoulder and turned her toward him.
"We should do this again sometime," he said cheerfully.
Lily was totally spaced out and was confused. "Detention?"
Thomas laughed a bit. "No, Lily. I meant the date. We should really do it again sometime. I had fun."
I bet you did. Lily thought bitterly. She knew what he wanted (no not that). He wanted confirmation. She wasn't really sure about that, so decided to keep it vague. "Yeah, maybe," she said and immediately walked through the door.
Professor Potter was, surprisingly, pacing. He had a worried look on his face, and didn't notice them enter.
"Professor," Lily said. James turned with a start.
"Oh, yes. Hello," he said while trying to pull himself together. He went and sat at his desk.
"So, prof. Whatcha got planned for us?" Thomas said making himself very comfortable in the chair in front of Professor Potter's desk.
"Well, Mr. Orpheus you will be serving detention with Mr. Filch doing… God knows what," he replied spitefully through gritted teeth.
"Alright with me," Thomas said cheerfully and jumped up out of the chair. "Where do we meet him?"
"We?" James said, cocking an eyebrow. "Oh, no. The reason you're in detention is because of the ruckus the two of make together. No, you will serve detention with Filch and Lily will serve it here with me. You can go meet him at his office," he finished as pleasantly as he could. He just wanted to punch this kid. He was so arrogant and cocky with no respect to his teachers. He was just like…
"Oh," Thomas said shortly. James had thoroughly wiped the smug smirk off blond boy's face. Nope. There it was again. He turned to Lily and said, "See you later, hon," kissed her on the cheek, gave Potter one last smug look and pranced out.
Lily felt completely awkward. There was this weird tension between the two men she didn't understand. And then there was Thomas' oddness alone. Did he just call me hon?
"Ok, Lily," James said finally and stood up, walking over to her. "I thought that you could help me grade my third years' tests. If that's ok with you."
"Oh, yes. Actually, that sounds great," Lily said and sat down in front of his desk.
"Ok. Here's the answer key and you can start with this pile," he said and put a stack of papers on the desk that was at least two feet high.
"How many third years do you have exactly?" Lily said cocking an eyebrow to him.
James just laughed and said, "All of them. But it's not as many as it seems. It was just a long test." Lily laughed along with him and they set to work.
James was very pleased with himself. His work for the weekend was nearly finished, blond boy was probably scrubbing slime from the dungeons, and Lily was seated across from him bent slightly over the desk so he could peak down her shirt a bit as she graded. All together a good night. So far. He still had one more thing to check off on his to-do list, and Prongs' screaming in his head was helping absolutely no one.
Say it already! She is right there. Tell her or, for God's sake, you will spend the rest of your life alone and blue in the nether region! Do you really want that?
"Lily-"
"I'm done," Lily interrupted him without noticing.
"Oh," James replied in surprise. Just when he had pulled out all of his Gryffindor courage… "Well, that's all I needed done,"
"So I can leave?" she said earnestly, looking him straight in the eyes.
Looking into her eyes, James was at a loss for words once again. "Uh… yeah," was all he could get out.
"Great. Bye, Professor," she said quickly and grabbed her bag and went to leave.
All of a sudden she was striding across the room to the door. He had missed his chance. She was about to turn that knob and be gone. Without one more word, he would spend another restless night imaging all the ways he could have told her how he felt.
"Lily!" James practically yelled at her and jumped out of his chair. She spun around and watched him as he flew around his desk, his eyes not leaving hers, and walked straight up to her.
"Yes, Professor," she said quietly as she tried to come back from being so startled.
"Don't call me Professor," he said simply. It killed him every time he heard her say it.
"What should I call you then?" she replied, holding his eye contact.
"James," he said simply.
"James," in a small voice.
"I need to tell you something," James started. "I like you. More than a professor should like a student. More like how a man likes a woman. And I know that it's wrong and all, but I can't help it. I think about you all the time. This must sound really weird, but," he heard himself getting more frantic the more he talked. He grabbed her by the shoulders. She just looked at him, eyes wide, mouth slightly parted. "I do. I like you."
Lily stared at him, completely dumbfounded. She didn't know what to do. Her mind was blank. Her palms getting sweaty. When he grabbed her, she took a sharp breath, waiting for his next move. She had imagined this moment only in her dreams and least guarded daydreams.
"Lily?" he said again, moving his hands to her waist and pulling her closer to him, a bit. "Well. How-how do you feel," he had to take a deep breath and look away from her piercing eyes in order to do so. "How do you feel about me? Lily, do you have any romantic feelings towards me?"
His face was very close to hers. Lily felt her entire body shut down. All she could feel was her heart beat, James' breath on her face and his hands on her waist. She had to say something and she couldn't think. He was waiting. This was very important she knew. That thought only made her mind combust further. The first thought that slipped into her mind was something her father had told her when they were driving once. She didn't know why she thought that might help but the next thing she knew, she spoke.
"No."
She turned out of his grasp and walked out. Her mind still nonfunctioning.
"Whenever you're lost sweety, turn left."
A/N: Quick shout out to my reviewers: , MissSaraJean-Jellybean47, bookworm1011, Isashi Sanada, humanbeing, 99deatheaters, wishfulthinking123, Binka Fudge, llc22.