A Beautiful Let Down
Chapter 4: I Don't Have a Bowling Habit
"Come on Jonah," Olivia smiled, "what's the big secret?"
"If I told you…it wouldn't be a secret." He smiled wrapping his arm around her waist.
"Ooh, so philosophical." She smiled wrapping her arm around his waist and resting her free hand on his chest as she leaned into him. "Well Mr. Philosophical, think you could, at the very least, give this detective a hint as to what we may be doing tonight?" She asked with puppy eyes and a smile.
"If there's one thing I've learned over the past year Detective Benson," he smiled kissing her hair, "its to never give you even the smallest hint."
"What's that suppose to mean?" She feigned hurt, "you calling me nosey?"
"Nope." He grinned, "I'm calling you one great detective…cute too."
"You know," she smiled against the sunlight as the ocean waves gently caressed their bare feet, "you're pretty cute too…for a nerd and everything."
"You really like calling me that don't you?" he blushed.
"I like to see you go all shy on me." She teased, "Do you know how hard it is to find a guy who is intelligent and has a gorgeous body?"
"About as hard as it was to find you." He whispered kissing her lips softly, "Besides, I could justify being at a science museum…you can't." he reminded her, "Who's really the nerd here Olivia?" he teased.
"I was on a case." She protested.
"Liar."
Olivia arched her brows and laughed, "How dare you, Sir." She smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth, "If you ever tell anybody how we met I'll kill you."
"Noted." He chuckled as they made their way up a path, and along the pier.
Olivia nuzzled closer to him, bracing herself from the cool current of air that came off of the ocean, "You're killing me with this whole surprise thing." She informed him slipping her hand under his shirt and resting it on the warmth of his back.
When they reached the end of the pier he smiled motioning for her to stand in front of him as he held her, "Keep ya warm." He smiled against her cheek.
"You always keep me warm." She whispered back as they watched the waves gently fall onto the beach and crash against the pier.
"So," Jonah's voice seemed almost anxious, "you'd really kill me if I told people we met at the science museum huh?"
"Hey buddy," She moved her head to the side to look at him, "it's okay for you to be a nerd…but I've got a reputation to uphold…so yeah, I'd have to kill ya." She winked and repositioned her body so they were both looking out over the pier.
"Would you kill me…if I told people how I proposed to you?" He asked softly as he raised his hand out in front of her, palm up, a white gold diamond ring nestled safely within it. He couldn't see her face but he knew she was fighting to hold her tears at bay.
Jonah took her left hand in his as he rested his chin on her shoulder, "Be my wife." He whispered sliding the ring over her finger, "It fits…we fit."
Olivia turned in his embrace, "Are you serious?"
"No Olivia," he replied sarcastically through a grin, "I just slipped an engagement ring on your finger to get a rise out of you." He chuckled, "Of course I'm serious."
Olivia smiled teasingly, "I'd be married to a nerd."
Jonah embraced her tighter, "Yeah, but a cute one…besides, I'd be married to a lady detective…what will people think?"
Olivia laughed, "That you got the short end of the stick." She smiled and traced his lips delicately with her index finger as she searched his face, looking for what, she couldn't tell you but knowing whatever it was she sought out…she found.
"You still haven't answered." He reminded her.
"I want to make you squirm." She whispered, slowly closing the gap between their lips.
"You're a smart aleck." He whispered just as their lips touched softly, their tongues caressing one another passionately as salt air was inhaled and breathed over one another's flesh, smiles beaming at separation.
"What took you so long?" She teased.
"I wanted to make you squirm." He smiled then trained his ear in the distance when she turned her head to listen to something.
"What's that sound?" Olivia asked.
"Fog horn?" he guessed grazing the flesh of her abdomen under her shirt.
Olivia rolled over in the bed after her sleepy mind finally let her know that the sound she heard in her dream wasn't a foghorn but a very irritating alarm clock, intruding on a sliver of happiness she had with her husband; an alarm clock that yelled at her to get up. She turned it off and slowly sat up in bed taking in the scent of her late husband's pajama's she was wearing.
Olivia looked at the wedding ring she wore and smiled remembering the dream she had just had of her and him. The dream seemed as real as if it had just happened, if fact she could have sworn he still felt his hands on her hips as he held her. She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair as she exhaled.
She dressed in front of the mirror that she and Jonah had changed in front of for the past two years, telling each other of their tasks for the day. More often than not it usually led to Jonah helping her with her shirt collar that she could never seem to get to fall just right over her blazer. She smiled remembering how she almost ripped a shirt to threads until he saved her from madness.
Olivia frowned at her choice of apparel, the black slacks and black blouse weren't exactly what she thought she'd wear on her first day back at the job but she figured they probably matched the blackness that was consuming her heart. For the first time in two years, she retrieved her own gun and badge from her nightstand and holstered them accordingly. She fought the tears that threatened when she remembered how insistent Jonah was to hand her, her weapon and badge telling her that it was good luck if he gave them to her.
Olivia laughed out loud and shook her head, for such an intelligent man, he certainly had some weird thought processes; nevertheless, as she clipped the badge on her belt, she wanted him here with her in that moment. She flicked her hair out of her shirt and then stopped when she caught the reflection of herself in the mirror. Olivia rested her hand on her stomach and exhaled, feeling the tinge of regret that was building.
It had been nearly a week since Elliot had been by. Not because he didn't try to come by or try to call, what seemed like hourly to make sure she was okay, but because she told him he needed to spend more time with his girlfriend, Michelle, before he found himself castrated.
Olivia walked out of the bedroom donning her blazer, flicking her hair out again and knowing her collar wasn't settled correctly and Jonah couldn't fix it for her. She poured and drank a glass of orange juice knowing that she should have just told Jonah she was pregnant the morning she'd asked him to the beach. Depositing the glass in the sink she grabbed her car keys and walked out of the front door for the first time in two years, without being able to feel his lips against hers or being able to hear 'be careful I love you' whispered into her ear.
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The morning was rushed as soon as she stepped foot into the bullpen. Ironically, it brought a since of steady comfort to her. She had requested an additional week off in spite of having wanted to return earlier. She'd told the Captain and Elliot that she simply needed more time to focus on what was happening in her life. She was grateful that Elliot was the only one who knew about her pregnancy, it seemed to make decisions less stressful yet at the same time she thought…entirely more painful.
She no sooner sat down at her desk smiling at the fact that Elliot had removed her Det. Matthews name plaque and replaced it with a Det. Benson. He was sensitive to her and she didn't know if that was necessarily good or bad. She felt as though he took better care of her than he did his self or his relationship with Michelle.
She was grateful when Elliot immediately addressed her as Benson again and Munch and Fin followed suit as if it were the same way they'd addressed her for the last two years. She thought it cruel that they'd barely gotten her new name down and built into their rhythms only to have it uprooted and replaced with the old beat that was pre Jonah genre.
She wasn't necessarily isolating herself, but she was keeping to herself, avoiding the pitiful looks people gave her, shaking the hands of strangers who wished her well as they walked past her and completing paperwork that had accumulated on her desk since she'd been away.
She was silently thanking God that they hadn't caught a case as she finished her paperwork and silently picked up her jacket making her way out of the station house. She slid into the driver's seat, exhausted and frustrated and completely lonely and hurting for someone…anyone at this point.
She stuck the key in the ignition and jumped as someone unexpectedly knocked on the window. She turned the key on to accessories and lowered the window.
"What's up Elliot?" She tried to steady her voice but knew her glassy eyes were giving her away.
"What's up? You promised me a night of glow bowling." He chuckled then furrowed his brows and offered a small smile, "Liv, you didn't say goodbye to anyone…that's not like you, are you feeling okay today?"
"I'm fine...look," she tried to worm her way out of a night she promised him three days ago. "I forgot to pick up a pair of bowling shoes and you know how I feel about wearing someone else's…sorry, I can't go, besides, I'm really tired." She exhaled and bit her lip.
"Olivia, I've been you're partner for years…I know when you're lying, what is it?" he asked softly crouching down to rest his hand on her shoulder, "Talk to me Olivia…is it the baby?"
Olivia pulled away from him and snapped, "There is no baby Elliot!"
Confused, he shook his head softly, "I don't understand…I was there, I saw the sonogram."
"Elliot…please." She exhaled, "I'm tired."
"Are you still pregnant Liv?" he asked softly unconcerned with her stubbornness.
"Elliot!" She growled out of frustration, "Why do you think I took an extra week…THERE IS NO BABY!" she barked again effectively startling him. She started the car and crammed the shifter into reverse chirping her tires as she backed out.
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"Eight ball corner pocket." Olivia informed the dark hair and blue eyed man who was standing at the opposite end of the pool table sizing up the shot.
"No, way in hell." He shook his head at her declaration.
She smiled, "One thing you need to know about life," she informed him as she readied her pool stick, taking the shot and effectively sinking the eight ball in the corner pocket, "it is hell." She winked.
"I've never seen a dame play pool like that." He shook his head and blushed at his defeat.
Olivia shrugged and took the money off of the pool table that she'd won "Yeah, well."
"It wasn't a really fair game though, you know?" he smiled narrowing his sights at her.
"Yeah? Why's that?" she asked softly taking a step closer to him.
"Well, you're far too hot for me to concentrate on my shot."
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She didn't care that she was inviting a man that she'd known for less than three hours into her home, she didn't care that her sole purpose for inviting him was to have meaningless sex with him, she didn't even care that she'd managed to win over a hundred dollars beating him in a game that her husband had taught her.
Tossing her keys on the counter she toed her shoes off, "This is it." She said through a forced smile.
"Nice pad." He whispered pulling her hips into him, "I'm more interested in the bedroom though." He informed her caressing her face and gently pulling her mouth closer to his.
The sensation of another man's lips on her mouth almost made her vomit, but she needed some sort of connection, she was lost and wanted to be touched and affirmed the way Jonah touched her and affirmed her. She kissed back, albeit void of the passion that Jonah's lips could ignite in her.
He walked her down the hallway taking her shirt off and casting it to the floor before removing his own, revealing a perfectly chiseled specimen. He reached for the light and turned it on only to have her immediately turn it off, "I prefer the dark." She lied. The only time she made love to Jonah in the dark was that camping trip last summer that he insisted she go on, and then there was the middle of the night escapades they frequently found themselves in, but rarely did she ever not want to make love in plain view of him.
"Trying to hide you're wild side?" he asked playfully as he felt his way along the wall, "is this your room?" he asked starting to open the master bedroom.
"No." She lied again knowing that she was securing a special place in hell for herself. She might be doing something entirely wrong, and she might hate herself in the morning but there was no way she was having sex with a stranger in her husband's bed, she shook her head knowing she shouldn't even be doing this, but giving in for the sake of at least being able to imagine it was Jonah. She led him to the guest bedroom where Elliot had slept the several days he'd stayed with her. "Here it is."
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Unfulfilled in her emotional longing for affirmation and her physical longing for release she found herself grateful when he finally finished and rolled off of her. His hands weren't the same as Jonah's, he didn't smell the same, didn't arch his back the same way or touch her in her favorite spots. He wasn't Jonah. She laid there, her mind racing and wondering what she had just done in her and her husband's home. Disgusted with herself, she sat up, "You need to leave."
"What?" He furrowed his brows, "I thought we we're just getting started."
"Leave." She told him again.
Sensing the stress in her voice he reached across and softly touched her shoulder, "Did you want me to hold you?"
"I want you to Leave!" She barked, "This wasn't some magical date, it was a one night stand, a simple screw…now GET OUT!" She exhaled running her hands through her hair.
"Wow, you have some serious issues lady." He grumbled slipping his pants on.
"Tell me about it." She mumbled to herself as she got out of the bed wrapping the sheet around her body vaguely aware that Elliot's scent was still on them. She couldn't figure it out but she felt just as bad for having sex in a bed that was once Elliot's as she knew she would have felt had she taken the stranger into the master bedroom.
In dire need of saving face she darted into the hall bathroom and locked the door, waiting for the sound of the front door to open and close signifying his departure from her home…but not her soul. She held the sheet firmly over her frame and leaned against the wall letting the tears fall and the sobs rise until she realized that the front door opened and closed again.
Frustrated and completely angry that a stranger would welcome himself back into her home after she expressly told him to leave, she hitched the bottom of the sheet up with one hand, holding the other over her breast and stormed out of the bathroom yelling as she stalked down the hall, "I thought I told you to leave, Damnit!" She bellowed and then stopped dead in her tracks starring at a very confused looking Elliot.
"Elliot?" She pulled the sheet tighter around her body as he made an effort to look anywhere but at her, "Why are you here?"
Elliot furrowed his brows and put a paper sac on the floor, as he took his jacket off indicating he would be staying, "A shirtless man told me you'd lost you're mind." He whispered walking towards her.
She saw him take in the site of the bed sheet over her body, her freshly cried eyes, and sex tussled hair, "Did he hurt you?" he asked softly.
Olivia closed her eyes blinking out a steady stream of frustration and pain, "No, Elliot…why are you here?" she barked in frustration and shame…mostly shame.
"Olivia," he spoke compassionately, "I'm worried about you."
She rolled her eyes and walked away careful to keep the sheet closed as she walked down the hall only to be mortified when Elliot followed her turning the light switch on and looking at her clothes strewn down the hall. She saw his eyes, the confusion, worry and dare she say, hurt, that ran through them.
Ashamed she crouched to pick up her clothing as she moved down the hall to her room, "Don't you dare judge me Stabler." She barked trying to stand only to feel the sheet rip from her body as she inadvertently planted her foot on the fabric. She crouched down immediately again to shield her body from Elliot's sight finding herself relieved when he quickly shut the light off, but surprised when she felt him covering her with the sheet again and whispering softy, "Jump in the shower, we're gonna be late."
"Elliot!" She stood much more carefully, "I'm not going!" she told him brushing past him into the master bedroom and throwing her sheet clad body on top of the comforter.
Undaunted, he took a deep breath and walked into the bedroom flipping on the lights to see her curled into a fetal position grumbling at him, "Lights, Stabler."
"No." He responded simply as he stood next to her bed, "You told me if I gave you you're space you'd go bowling…it's time to bowl, get in the shower." He told her simply, void of anger or judgment.
"You can't order me around in my own house." She barked pulling half of the comforter over her body trying to shut him out.
"I'm not ordering," he told her softly, "just firmly stating…get in the shower, Olivia."
"Elliot!" she barked sitting up and staring at him, "I am tired! I'm not going! Come back in a month!" she spat before taking a pillow and covering her head with it.
"Fine." He said softly retreating back to square one. He turned the shower water on and adjusted it so it was warm, then decided her behavior caused for more extreme measures, he turned the knob all the way over to the blue and left the door open knowing it was gonna go the same way as last time.
"Olivia," he returned to the bed, "I drove all over town to get bowling shoes in you're size."
"My hero." She mumbled, "I'm not going…so I hope you saved the receipt."
"Olivia," He kept his voice cool, "Get in the shower or you know I'll put you in it."
"Elliot," She pointed to the door, "Get out."
"I hope you tied that sheet well." He stated simply but before she could ask why she felt the edge of the mattress shift outwards on the box spring then up, effectively rolling her off of the bed and onto the floor.
"Sonova-" she was cut off feeling him already behind her scooping her up so that she was standing but couldn't fight back, "You can't do this Elliot." She barked hoping that the sheet was covering her body.
"Apparently, I can." He told her as he tried to get her walking, "Move you're feet, Olivia."
"Screw you." She spat back digging her feet into the carpet.
"Fine." He exhaled and simply picked her up off the floor draping her over his shoulders, "I don't understand why you insist on doing everything the stubborn way Olivia." He told her making his way to the bathroom.
"Elliot, don't you dare do this again!" She barked just as he lowered her and gently pushed her into the shower, "Its ice damn cold Elliot!" she said shielding herself from the stream.
"Look!" he finally firmed his voice, "If you want to mope around tomorrow, that's fine with me," he said pointing at her, "but tonight you're going bowling with me." He informed her leaving her to close the shower door but not before turning to her with a washrag in his hand. He turned to see a shivering Olivia holding fiercely to the soaking sheet in an effort to keep her body covered.
He raised his voice more firmly than before but was still careful to coat it in love, "I take it back, if you want to mope around tomorrow, then you better accept that fact that you and I will be in the same position tomorrow." He informed her feeling the spray of the water spatter him, and he felt a tinge of guilt that it was so cold but not enough guilt to make him stop, "I'm not gonna let you ruin your life Olivia, so you may as well get use to it." He told her tossing the rag at her, "Now get dressed, you're making us late." He paused for a moment and offered a small smile as he pointed to a bottle of shampoo, "You should use that one…it smells good on you."
Elliot closed the shower door, "Put the sheet over the door when you're done…ten minutes Olivia."
"I don't remember you being this bossy." She called to him over the shower draping a soaking sheet over the shower door.
"Only when I care." He called back and walked out of the room. In the time it took him to gather up her dirty laundry that was still scattered about the hallway and strip the bed that, from the unmistakable smell of sex, had obviously been used, he heard the shower water stop. After depositing the clothes in the hamper and the bed linen in the washer he heard the blow dryer start.
Elliot returned to what he knew to be the linen closet and grabbed a sheet set making his way into her room and stripping the bed of the sheets that hadn't been changed since Jonah passed away. Laying fresh fabric on the bed he straightened out the down comforter and the pillows before gathering the dirty sheets.
The smell of cologne was fresh, he furrowed his brows took in the scent taking note it was only on one side of the bed, he looked at the nightstand to see a bottle of what he assumed to be Jonah's scent and it dawned on him why she hadn't changed the sheets, she wanted him close to her.
Hearing the water in the bathroom sink come on and the sound of spitting and mouth rinsing he moved quickly pulling back the comforter and spraying the bottle of Euphoria before covering the sheets with the pillow and re gathering the dirty linen, taking it to the wash room and returning to find that she still hadn't stepped out of the bathroom.
"You okay Olivia?"
"I'm fine." She sighed. "I need to come out to get dressed…it's not like you gave me any towels or clothes." She complained.
"Hold on." He called back to her. Opening what he figured was her dresser he pulled out what he knew to be her favorite pair of jeans moving to her closet for what he knew to be her favorite T-shirt that said 'yeah, it's pink. So?' he personally never understood it, but he was there the day she found it at the thrift store and paid a quarter for it, besides, it would go good with his surprise for her.
Elliot took a deep breath, no man should ever open up his friend's underwear drawer, but if he left it up to her, they'd never get out of the house. He opened it and grabbed a pair of panties and a bra, unconcerned that they weren't matching but more concerned that he find the Elmo socks she liked. He moved 'this and that' 'here and there' and just when the socks were in sight…so was a folded piece of paper still secured with a small piece of scotch tape…the same way all the notes from her pack pockets were for the past two years. Elliot positioned it in plain sight for her to 'stumble on' tomorrow morning and retrieved the socks.
"You're clothes are on you're bed Liv." He told her, "I'll be in the living room." He informed her through the door before walking out and claiming a spot of the couch. He had never really realized all the pictures that were around the house. At first glance they appeared to simply be pictures of a happy couple, but when he made his way form the couch to the mantel and took a closer look he was surprised to see that they were pictures of conquests and first times.
He smiled to himself having never put together her seemingly 'try anything' attitude since she'd been with Jonah, but before him stood evidence of Olivia, who he knew to be scared of heights, falling to the earth with a grin on her face after parachuting from the plane, a woman having never been outside of the city, proudly displayed her catch of fish next to Jonah on what was her first camping trip. A woman scared of love…on her wedding day. A woman scared, but conquering with her husband at her side. Jonah had taught her that there was more to life than being a cop, he taught her to live.
It was the picture of her promotion ceremony to grade three detectives that caught his eye. Jonah had insisted that he got a picture of her and Elliot in their dress blues. He was a good man to his wife, never jealous, in fact, encouraging of Elliot being a part of their lives. He felt a tinge of guilt again wondering what exactly his intentions were now. He was very aware that he was having feelings for her but even more aware that he would be a dog to even try something right now, in fact, he shook his head, scolding himself for even thinking about thinking about her and was saved from anymore thinking when he heard her come into the living room.
She was quiet; avoiding his gaze as she donned a jacket she retrieved from the closet and grabbed her keys. Elliot made his way to her not willing to let the night be wasted because she'd made a few bad choices. As she opened to front door and walked out he picked up the paper sac and closed the door behind them.
"Olivia." He spoke softly turning her to him and pulling her into an embrace. He set the bag down and caressed the back of her head, "It's none of my business what happened here tonight." He told her softly wrapping his hand around her waist aware that she wasn't fighting, but listening. "My love for you doesn't come with judgment." He assured her, "It comes with acceptance, I'd never want to make you feel like less…when you're so much more." He told her softly squeezing her one last time and placing a friendly kiss on her head before letting go with a grin. "Let's bowl."
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"You've seriously never bowled before?" Elliot smiled as they sat down at their lane.
"Nope." She chuckled.
"Well, you're gonna have fun then." He smiled handing her a shoebox from the paper sac she recognized from the house.
"How much do I owe you?" She asked pulling the Circle brand orange shoebox from the sac.
"Nada." He smiled, "My gift to you." He chuckled tying his own shoes that were black with a bright green toe and tongue.
"Mine aren't gonna be green like you're are they?" She smiled pointing to his shoes.
"Nope," he grinned, "Yours are a very special color." He laughed.
Olivia furrowed her brows at his laughter and opened the box, finding that her own laughter sounded pretty good as she stared at the shoes that were just like Elliot's only, "They're pink!" she smiled. "How do you figure I'd wear something pink?" She asked playfully.
"Please," he rolled his eyes, "I saw you go nuts when you found that shirt at the thrift store, I'm surprised you still have it." He grinned sitting in front of the computer and typing in the appropriate information.
"Yep," She smiled, "I've had to sew the hem back into it twice in the last three years."
"Yeah," Elliot shook his head, "That's a pretty good sign that you need to get rid of it."
Olivia arched her brows teasingly; "I'll get rid of you, before I get rid of this shirt."
"Ouch." He shook his head and smiled, as he finished the necessary information, "Ready?"
"Guess so." She shrugged.
"Alright, just a word of warning, those shoes make everything a little slippery."
"Okay." She smiled, "What do I do?"
"Pick a ball." He smiled.
"Hey," She teased in friendly banter, "do you always speak to your dates that way?"
"Didn't know we were dating." He spat back with a smirk trying to determine if the conversation they were having would be construed as friendly chatter or flirting.
"That's 'cause we're not." She laughed, "What ball do I take?"
"How much do you weigh?" He asked innocently but the look of shock on her face suggested he should have just handed her a ball.
"I weigh what I'm supposed too." She informed him.
Elliot blushed and handed her a thirteen pound house ball, "Here, it's suppose to be a one to ten ratio."
Slightly shocked, Olivia looked down at the ball seeing that it said thirteen pounds which was exactly what she would have had to of chosen based on the ration. How do you know how much I weigh? She smiled to herself. He knew her well.
After explaining to her the basic preparation and execution of the fine art of bowling he cut her loose to launch her first ball which was a gutter ball.
"Huh," She smiled looking at the pins that were still standing, "is that suppose to happen like that?"
"Not exactly." He grinned, "Try it again."
Olivia retrieved the ball, "Hey, why do they call this glow bowling?"
"Oh," He smiled, "This isn't glow bowling, that starts in about an hour but I thought I'd teach you the basics first."
"Alright," She rolled her eyes, "Help me out here."
Elliot positioned himself behind her leaning over her chin, "Hold the ball like this." He instructed covering her hand with his. "Pull back straight." He motioned, "And launch." He instructed taking a step back and realizing that she had indeed used the shampoo he told her too.
He mentally scolded himself again and took a seat as he watched her focus, take a step off with her left foot, step with her right, slide forward to the foul line and launch the ball anxiously awaiting the outcome and to Elliot's amazement offering a small leap into the air accompanied by a "Yes!"
"Hey good job," Elliot laughed, "I'm sure those two pins will forever fear you."
"As they should." She grinned.
"Good to see you smiling, Liv." He told her softly, "I was starting to miss that smile."
"Good to smile." She agreed taking her seat, "Now let's see what'chya got Stabler."
Elliot launched the ball watching it go down the direct center, fall out to the right and hook left directly into the pocket between the one and three pin, exactly where it should fall but only knocking down nine of the ten pins.
"Wow!" Olivia arched her brows in surprise, "Who knew Stabler has a bowling habit."
Elliot furrowed his brow, "I don't have a bowling habit, I ju-"
"Hey Elliot!" a young alley attendant interjected just as he was about to play himself down knowing if Olivia knew it would be ammunition to torture him with.
"Hi Lauren." Elliot smiled completely nervous.
"You want the usual combo pack?" Lauren asked poised to write as Olivia stared at him slack jawed.
"Yeah, that's fine." He blushed retrieving his wallet knowing what the next question would be.
"Got you're league card?" She asked him.
"Yep." He was about to die of embarrassment, "Here you go." He handed it to her.
"Where's Michelle?" Lauren asked looking at Olivia who was fighting off both the need to giggle and the need to pee, which was a direct result of the need to laugh hysterically at the macho man with the obvious bowling habit.
"She's…um." Elliot furrowed his brows the pain of what happened between the two threatening to show it's self. "She's sick, I'm here with a friend, I'd like you to meet Olivia."
Olivia stood and shook Lauren's hand offering a friendly salutation but suddenly much more mellowed when she saw the pained expression on Elliot's face and the shine that was in his eyes. Something was definitely wrong with him. She kicked herself mentally for being absorbed in her own misery not to notice.
After the waitress left, Olivia stood next to him "So," Olivia decided she wouldn't pounce immediately but grinned knowing she was gonna tease the hell out of him, "what's the usual, Mr. I-don't-have-a-bowling-habit?"
"Very funny."
"Oh," She smiled, "You have no idea what I can do with this information…you got a bowling shirt?"
Elliot blushed.
"You're on a team aren't you?" She grinned knowing it was making him squirm.
"Let's just play." He smiled.
"Oh," she chuckled, "life just got fun."
Elliot turned to her and smiled, if she was thinking life was fun…than good. "I'm glad to hear you say that."
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"So this is the usual huh?" Olivia grinned looking down at the pepperoni pizza and soda.
"Yep," he laughed, "and I suppose I can forget about asking you not to share the bowling habit with the guys at work huh?"
"Oh," She smiled, "This torture is all mine."
"Fabulous." He smiled knowing he was in for it. He looked at his watch, "Fifteen seconds Liv."
"For what?" She asked furrowing her brows and taking a bite of the pizza.
Elliot kept his eyes on his watch then pointed to the ceiling of the bowling alley, "For this." He smiled as the bowling alley turned dark except for the black lights that immediately took over the job of illuminating and the disco balls that started to work their magic. "Pretty corny stuff huh?" he laughed.
"Look at you're shirt!" She smiled pointing at his white shirt that seemed to turn a pearled purple under the light.
"Look at you're shoes Liv." He instructed her as he showed her his green ones that were glowing against the black light.
"Holy crap!" she yelled over the music that started to play, and looked down at her shoes that seemed entirely to bright under the light, "That's insane." She laughed freely clapping her hands as a small child, and for a moment forgetting that her husband was no longer with her, forgetting that she cheapened herself by having sex with some guy form some billiard hall, and forgetting for a moment that she was a widow.
Elliot watched her move under the peculiar lighting, her teeth were stunning even more so, her grace, once she understood how to approach the fowl line, was impeccable, and in no time she took to bowling as if it were her second nature, but that was how she was, that was Olivia.
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"I'll walk you to you're door." Elliot smiled.
"The house is thirty feet away…a perp isn't gonna jump out of bushes, that I don't even have, and come and get me El." She assured him.
"I'll walk you anyway." He smiled again and got out of the truck, setting the alarm as she closed the door, rather hard.
"Dang," Elliot smiled, "What did my door do to you?"
Olivia blushed, "Sorry, I forget you don't have to slam it like the Camaro." She smiled softly and walked along the path, a little off balanced and suddenly grabbing onto Elliot's arm.
"You okay?"
"Um…I think," she felt the sudden wave of nausea hit her, "I think…I'm gonna-" and before she could finish her sentence she found her self kneeling in the flower bed vomiting up her meal.
"Wow," Elliot smirked kneeling next to her, "that you're idea of miracle grow?"
"That you're idea of pizza?" She chuckled shakily handing him the keys to the house as her body contracted again.
Elliot grimaced and opened the door quickly in an effort to get her inside, "Come, on let's get you inside." He smiled helping her up only to have her vomit on her again.
"Oh," Elliot closed his eyes trying to suppress the goofy grin the was the result of his best friend puking on him for the third time in less than two months, "you've got a puking habit, you know that?"
Still woozy, she paid no attention to the remark and instead grabbed for him again feeling her knees give way, "I feel like crap all of a sudden." She muttered before wiping her mouth with her hands.
"Let's go." He offered again taking her into the house.
Olivia was surprised that in spite of just heaving everything in her stomach she felt just fine as she brushed her teeth, the room wasn't spinning and as she rinsed her mouth and checked her teeth she actually felt a little energetic. "Hey Elliot?" she called out to him from the restroom.
"Yeah? You okay?"
"Perfect." She smiled softly at the irony, "jump in the shower, it looks like some crazy broad puked all over you." She teased.
"I'm fine, I'll head home…besides it's not the first time she's done it." He reminded her.
"Jackass!" she called back playfully, "Come on," she pushed a little more as she walked out of the bathroom, "The house…the house is so quiet." She said suddenly so serious that Elliot just noticed that last thirty years of frustration that showed on her features as she spoke, "Come on, I got movies out the wazoo."
"I'm not watching a chic flic, Benson."
"I don't own chic flics." She protested.
"Yeah, okay." Elliot agreed sarcastically. He smiled remembering all the times Jonah had told him she made him sit through a chic flic…she owned them, he just wasn't sure where she stashed them.
"I'll stay…if you answer me a question."
"Okay."
Elliot exhaled deeply, and spoke compassionately, "Cragen told me some information on Jonah's case today and I-"
"I don't want to know." She broke him off immediately, "I don't want to know anything until I'm ready."
"I thought you wanted to work on it Liv?" he asked slightly confused.
"I did, but…I need time, this is all so…so…confusing and I don't know what to do." She shook her head, "I don't know if I should stick it out, or leave, or stay, or-"
Elliot furrowed his brows, "What do you mean leave?"