Chapter 4
Here we go…
You wake up to the smell of breakfast and voices. You realise that you fell asleep waiting for everyone. You go to the kitchen where a table, chairs and endless supply of food and water (and other drinks) have recently been appearified, you peer deeper into the kitchen to find Jane and Jade already up and cooking some pancakes, you leave the busy girls to do their work and decide to check upstairs to find 5 locked rooms near you. Of course you being a voice you are able to pass through the locked doors. You enter the closest room and surprisingly it isn't locked, you find 3 sleeping girls (and trolls) in the room.
Roxy: Zzzzzz *snort* zzzz
You can see Roxy snoring on a bed big enough to fit two people in the corner, on the other side you can see Aradia in a sleeping bag surrounded by corpses wearing party hats, you look above her to see streamers and a sign saying corpse party!
Obviously the author put powerful scented candles somewhere so you can't smell the decay, and in the middle of the room is an air mattress where Feferi is sleeping peacefully holding her small green cuttlefish in a temporary bag of water.
Feferi: zzz glub… zzz… cuttlefish
You hear her murmur in her sleep. She looks adorable and you decide to go to the locked room in front. You enter and immediately see five guys (and trolls) snoring loudly, before you look at who they are your eyes travel to some of the posters on their walls, anime girls, game posters and on one wall posters of rom com movies and blue girls, there is also a few metal parts on the floor. You think you can guess who's room this is…
Karkat: ZZZzZ
Sollux: *snort* zzz
And sure enough on the top bunk is Dirk who was hanging over the edge like a monkey, the only thing keeping him on the air is the blanket that got wrapped around his ankle. You see Sollux on the bottom bunk snoring, every time he breaths in little red and blue electricity forms in the air above him. It is very dangerous so you quickly go to the other side where the movie posters are and also happens to be the tidiest part of the room…
You find Equius curled up in a sleeping bag on the floor (surprisingly it wasn't ripped by his muscles so it must've been a special kind of material (magic)) strangely looking like a cute little wriggler, Karkat and Jake were horn to foot position on an air mattress, Jake having the blanket rolled up around him and Karkat blanket-less though you don't think they notice because both are sprawled out having Karkat's foot on Jake's face and Jake's leg on Karkat's chest both snoring, you snap your fingers and take a couple of photos with the camera you summoned
Your work here is done and with your curiosity still piqued you move to the room next door where Eridan, John, Dave Tavros and Gamzee were sleeping, John and Dave on a bunk bed, Gamzee on a horn pile in the furthest corner, Tavros and Eridan on another bunk bed on the other side of the room. You look on the floor to see it littered with Aj bottles, horns, pranking stuff and stuffed animals, you look at the walls to see they are completely covered with posters of random shit, soper pie and clowns…
Not too fond of the room anymore you quickly go to the next one. Where Terezi, Kanaya, Vriska and Rose were sound asleep on two beds Rose and Kanaya snuggled on one bed, Vriska on the floor leaning against the wall a blanket on her legs, falling slightly every now and then and Terezi on the other side gnawing on a pillow, a bit of drool dripping onto the bed, it seems someone was recently asleep next to her.
And lastly you go to the Authoress's room where she was asleep on a big bed with dark blue sheets and black 8cue balls her eyes looking slightly puffy, she seems deep in sleep and startles you when she opens her eyes to glare at the air
Crim: go away
You say no but have something that might cheer her up
Crim: what?
You drop the photos in front of the Authoress
She gets up and looks at the photos in confusion then quickly starts laughing quietly
Crim: haha where did you get this?
You say that you were looking around
Crim eyes lit up
Crim: I have an idea
20 minutes pass until anyone gets up, Crim sits in the kitchen helping herself to Betty Crocker pancakes and some juice until she hears laughter and shouts from the living room.
Karkat: WHO THE FUCK PUT THIS UP!?
Terezi: H3H3H3H3 WOW K4RKL3S NIC3 P1CTUR3
Nepeta: :33 h33h33 Eqkitty you look so cute!
Equius: D- I…need a towel
Rose: heh Jake very…interesting
Dave: pffft dude seriously?
Dirk: shut it
Crim walks in
Crim: pffft hehe it seems you've seen the new decoration
Karkat: DID YOU GO INTO OUR ROOMS WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING!?
Equius: D- I thought I locked the door
Dirk: not cool sis
Jake: was I really sleeping like that
Crim: actually I didn't go into anyone's room but a little birdie left this gift for me
Crim: and i decided to show everyone it
Crim: …is that a problem?
Karkat: YES FUCKASS
Crim narrows her eyes cheeks blushing, angry and still embarrassed
Karkat also remembers and looks at the ground
Crim suddenly smiles trying to avoid awkwardness
Crim: oh I can't believe I forgot that you have to be Sollux's slave for a day
Sollux: ye2222 that'2 riight biitch
Karkat: FUCK
Jane: breakfast is ready!
Crim: come on hurry up
Sollux: Karkat carry me to the kiitchen
Karkat: FUCK NO-
Sollux: what? ii thought ii heard a rejection want a piie?
Karkat: …
Karkat bent down and Sollux sits on his shoulders
Karkat: FUCK WHAT DO YOU FUCKING EAT?
Karkat practically crawls to the kitchen with Sollux on his shoulders snickering the whole way
Eridan grumbles behind
Everyone sits around the table drinking juice and eating pancakes, well everyone besides john who threw up when he realised it was Betty Crocker pancakes
Crim: you sure your ok john?
John: blegh yea just give me some orange juice
Dave: dude no drink AJ not OJ
John: too late
John drinks the entire glass in one go
Jade: you go John! Woof!
Dave: no John no
Crim grabs her laptop from the counter, sits down and checks on the reviews, she's reading through the new ones when an arm wraps around her shoulder trying to look at her laptop, Crim closes the top quickly and turns to glare at the arm's owner just to be met with 8 pair of eyes
Vriska: soooooooo your a fan eh?
Crim: Vriska don't think I don't know you
Crim: I can see what your trying to do
Vriska: worth a try
Crim: ha but to answer your question yes
Vriska: w8it wha-
Crim: now people let's get moving we got dares to do!
She claps her hands and gets up
They all start complaining as they walk to the living room and settle into seats but the authoress ignores them and continues
Crim: this is from musicalBlink once again
musicalBlink
Hehehehehehehheh
Yessssssss
I am the sick fuck.
Everything is wrong with my think pan, kitkat ;)
Crim: hey karkat remember the reviewer who you called a sick fuck?
Karkat: HOW CAN I FORGET THAT ASSHAT
Crim: he/she took it as a compliment and says that everything is wrong with her/his thinkpan
Crim: and they called you kitkat
Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK? CANT THAT NOOKSUCKER AT LEAST SPELL MY NAME RIGHT?
Karkat: ITS NOT KITKAT, ITS NOT KARKITTY AND ITS NOT FUCKING KARKLES ITS KARKAT! K-A-R-K-A-T FUCKASS
Crim: I haven't finished yet
musicalBlink
Hello! The sick fuck is back with another dare. XD
So, this time Feferi has to eat cuttlefish fish.
It cannot be chopped up in any way to make it less recognisable. She cannot dip it with something else. She is not allowed to have a drink. She is absolutely NOT allowed to spit it out. If she does, she'll have to eat two whole cuttlefish INCLUDING THE SPIT UP ONE.
For each time she spits it up (in case she spits it up more than once) the amount of cuttlefish will double.
For this one, just to be extra cruel, let's take away the choice of eating soper pie as well.
Thanks for reminding me of her love of cuttlefish with that beach scene! X33
Crim: you triple checked your spelling for this didn't you?
musicalBlink: yep
Crim: I'm sorry fef
Feferi: w)(y?
You hand Feferi your laptop but not before Vriska takes it halfway
Vriska: ooooooooh 8n't this crueeeeeeeel haha I like you
Crim: Vriska give it back!
Vriska: no w8y!
Crim still not over the events of this morning, gets very angry when Vriska runs to the door with her precious laptop
It seems her anger changes her into someone else
Her eyes turn light green, her hair turns black and she dangerously pales
She disappears and reappear in front of Vriska like a ghost, a creepy smile plastered on her face, she snatches the laptop and reappears where she originally was, back to normal
Vriska: w-wh8t the f8ck just h8ppened
John: I-I don't know
Dave: still think its a trick of light seer?
Rose: very funny
Crim: don't take my laptop again. Ok?
Crim oblivious to what just happened hands her laptop to a confused Feferi
She rereads the dare and her eyes widen
Feferi: N-no not my cuttl-efish
light fuchsia tears start streaming down her face
Feferi: I'll e-at the pie! I don't want to e-at my cuttlefish
Crim: sorry fef it seems the reviewer thought that you would say that there doesn't seem to be a loop hole
You rereread the text wait that's a word right? Auto correct says it isn't oh well (very clever you really thought of that dare didn't you?)
Crim: unfortunately you have to eat it raw and you can't chop or add anything to it or have a drink to wash it down
Feferi: *sniff* I don't know what I've don-e to you to do this to m-e
Eridan: this is so cruel
Crim: you can have it after okay?
Feferi: *sniff* okay
Feferi gives you the bag with the cuttlefish and you ask Jane to put it away, she goes to the kitchen with the innocent creature
Crim reads it one more time and realises something, she runs to the kitchen and quickly comes back showing no sign that she's going to reveal anything
Crim: ok next dare
Crim: yay it's GoggleHeadOtaku again
GoggleHeadOtaku
My OTP 1s JohnDav3, but 1'm cool w1th pr3tty much any sh1p you can th1nk of. 1 b3l13v3 that that 3v3ryon3 who sh1ps has a r1ght to sh1p what3v3r th3y want, as long as th3y r3sp3ct oth3r p3opl3's sh1ps. How3v3r th3 occas1onal good-natur3d sh1pping war 1s acc3tptabl3. You could dar3 John to 3at a hug3 cak3 (and then hav3 Vr1ska r3scu3 h1m from th3 3v1ls of th3 batt3rwitch)
(Nice typing style and remember its truth or dare! Anything can happen like I said I might change the pairings up a bit and I'm the same I think I would ship anything but I do have my preferences :D)
Crim goes back to the kitchen
Crim: can you bake a cake?
Jane: of course I can bake a cake! what kind vanilla? Chocolate? Small cake? Big cake? Rainbow cake?
Crim: …um just a small chocolate cake. Betty Crocker. Don't tell John
Jane: well what other kind of cake would I bake!
Crim: yea ok anyways I'm going back to the living room
Crim walks into the living room and takes a seat on her bean bag
John: why'd you go to the kitchen
Crim: oh you were dared to eat a cake
John: ok I suddenly think you guys aren't so bad
Karkat: AND WHERE'S MY FUCKING RESPECT HUH!?
Sollux: Karkat briing me 2ome water
Karkat: FUCK YOU
He grumbles as he walks to the kitchen
Sollux: ii know what you mean John
Eridan scoots closer to Sollux
Eridan: wwell wwhale wwe're wwaiting wwhy don't you do another dare
Crim: good idea *mumbling* surprisingly
Eridan: I heard that
Crim: anyway our last dare is from B4s1l1cK
B4s1l1cK
Whatsuuuuuuup?
Vriska: why? Why 7 u's one more and it would've been perfect
Crim: Can I finish now?
B4s1l1cK
Whatsuuuuuuup? It's the slimy eyeball again more video game dares (mhuhahaha) so yeah
I dare everybody to re-volt online (oh and Karkat HAS to pick phat slug (slowest rc car in the game))so good luck with that. Winner gets loser as serpent for 3 chapters.
Crim: another game dare guys I'm gonna go look it up
Crim: please try not to kill each other
Gamzee: BuT YoUr rIGHt MoThErFuCkInG HeRe CrImSiS
Crim: just telling you guys just in case
Crim: do you know how hard it is to wipe blood stains from the floor?
Crim gets to work on finding out about this game at the same time playing music to calm her anger from this morning right down, it works and it takes another 5 minutes of researching until Jane comes in with two plates in her hands, on her left is a chocolate cake, on the right is a dead cuttlefish
Crim: hey the reviewer said raw not alive
Feferi: poor glubbing thing!
Feferi wipes her eyes and takes the plate with shaky hands
Crim: and you can't spit it out or you'll have to eat double the amount and the spat out one
Dave: awesome in an ironic way
Jake: that is terribly disgusting
Crim: shoosh!
Feferi grabs the little creature with her fingers and with the bravest face she can manage puts the thing in her mouth
Feferi: mhmMm!
Crim: don't spit it! Just swallow. Quickly
She trembles a bit and tears form around her eyes but somehow she manages to swallow the cuttlefish without chewing (how she doesn't choke I don't know)
Feferi: blegh! *cough* *cough* w-wat-er!
Eridan starts to run for water but is stopped by the Authoress
Crim: she can't! She's not allowed to!
Eridan: are you glubbin kiddin me!?
Crim: Jane give her some cake
Crim: the reviewer said she can't have a drink or have it with something else
Crim: he/she never said anything about AFTER completing the dare
Feferi takes a piece and stuffs it in her mouth trying to get rid of her pets flavour from her mouth
Feferi: *hic* *hic* *sniff* that was *sniff* t-eribl-e
She curls up and Kanaya walks over, rubbing her back
Kanaya: there there it's okay sweetie
Eridan: your not her morail
Kanaya: she doesn't have one
Eridan and Kanaya have a vicious stare off looking about ready to kill each other
Crim: break it up you two come on Fef I think you had enough traumatic experience for one night
She doesn't budge, she seems to be in shock
Crim: *sigh*
The Authoress picks up Feferi and piggybacks her upstairs
Luckily Feferi was very light and the authoress wasn't entirely weak
Crim returns shortly after
Crim: okay now I've already sent the link to your lap and hive tops
Crim: again rules already explained inside Karkat you have to pick phat slug
Karkat: BUT HE IS THE SLOWEST FUCKING CAR IN HERE
Crim: I think that's the point and same as before loser serves winner 3 chapters. Go
Everyone starts playing minus Roxy who had been asleep all day, Gamzee who was in a corner staring off into space and Feferi who was most likely passed out on her bed.
Not even 10 minutes in and Karkat rage quits (it was the funniest thing ever)
Karkat: FUCK THIS SHIT ITS NO FUCKING FAIR THAT I HAVE TO HAVE THE FUCKING WEAKEST PIECE OF SHIT YOU HUMANS CALL CARS ITS OBVIOUS THAT THAT FUCKING NOOKSUCKER JUST WANTS ME TO SUFF-
Gamzee walks over to his morail and shoosh-paps him
Karkat: THANK YOU
Karkat: JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING PIE ALREADY IM NOT GOING TO DO ANYONES SHIT FOR THREE WHOLE FUCKING CHAPTERS AGAIN
Crim: actually I decided every 4 chapters I'm changing the punishment
Crim: this time the punishment is to step on a piece of Lego. Bare footed
The humans wince
Karkat: SERIOUSLY? I HAVE TO STEP ON A HUMAN WRIGGLERS PEICE OF TOY
Crim: here you go
Karkat: FUCKING FINE
Karkat steps on the Lego full force
Karkat: FUUUUCCC- WHY DOES THIS PIECE OF SHIT HURT SO FUCKING MUCH
Crim: that's why you never step on a Lego
Karkat falls to the ground holding his foot, after a few minutes he gets up but winces when he walks
Crim: last dare John! Eat the cake!
John: Gladly!
John practically devours the whole cake, on his last piece he asks
John: this *nom* is really *nom nom* delicious what kind of cake is it?
Crim: Betty Crocker
John stops and he looks like he is about to have a mental break down but suddenly a Pieces symbol appears on John's forehead and he freezes
Crim: shit it's starting everyone hide
Everyone looks at each other confused but do as they are told and quickly hide behind a nearby table
Terezi: WHY 4R3 W3 H1D1NG :?
Crim: ummm cause the batter witch took control of John
Jade: batter witch?
Crim: the Condonsetion
(That's how you spell it right? Whatever)
Vriska: oh f8ck no that 8itch 8n't gonna t8uch John
Vriska walks up to John who was starting to go into the air and slaps him. Hard
Vriska: hey wake up don't tell me that your so weak
Vriska: th8t y8ur letting the 8atter w8tch control y8u
She slaps him again knocking him to the ground, she grabs him by the shirt and dangles him in the air, she almost looks like she's ready to cry
Vriska: or is she too str8ng t8 f8ce al8ne?
Vriska does a very surprising move.
She kisses him
Vriska: get the fuck out of John 8itch
You think that kiss surprised John out of mind control as his face heats up like a tomato
John: t-t-thanks-
Vriska kisses him again, dark blue colouring her cheeks
Vriska: sh8t up
She releases him and looks away, cheeks still burning as he falls on his butt
Vriska: you needed someone to help you since your still weak
John smiles goofily, still on the ground
John: yeah… guess so
You finally end this chapter with a traumatised Feferi, a blushing Serket, a happy John and an angry Karkat in pain. You don't know a better way to end this chapter besides saying thank you to all reviewers and keep it coming