Despair is the price one pays for self-awareness. Look deeply into life, and you'll always find despair.

-Irvin D. Yalom

Once we got back to the gym, I ran straight to my room. None of this was fair! None of it, none of it, none of it! Shinobu Murai and Kenzo Tsukuru are both dead, Tobiki is broken inside, and a group of teenagers had to condemn a friend to death just to save their own lives.

"GAAAH!" I punched a metal plate. I probably should have looked to see what I was hitting since it wound up hurting really freaking badly. My hand went numb for a second. Someone knocked on my door. My visitor quickly defeated the purpose of doing so since he opened the door a few seconds later.

"Glasses guy," I said. He gave me an irritated look.

"I'm pretty sure you already know most of our names by now. 'Glasses guy' is clearly an improper moniker in my case," he said.

"Not really. You're the only one here that wears glasses, and I don't remember your name, so…"

"Ugh. It's Tougo Hanai. Please remember it, it can't be that hard," he said. "Anyway, for the real reason behind my visit. I…" He hesitated.

"Yeah...?" I prompted him.

"I… came to see if you were okay. Don't take that the wrong way, the girls suggested I check up on you," he said hastily.

"If that's the case, why not send Mouse girl? It shouldn't have been that hard to figure out that I'm closer to her than to you," I said. He gave me another irritated look.

"She's with Wakabayashi. And if you're such close friends, why don't you call her by her given name? Or even her surname?"

"I dunno. I guess that's just one of my character flaws," I said. "Anyway, I'm fine."

"Uh, you don't look fine," he said as he looked at my hand. God damn it! It's started swelling.

"Anyway, why did you really come here if you're not truly interested in how I'm doing?"

"Heh, you catch on quick. The 'checking up on you' thing is what we needed Hanneko to hear." He stepped closer to me and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm really really here to tell you that your little outburst in the courtroom didn't fall on deaf ears. You pretty much stated what everyone else was too scared to say. For that, we've decided to give you our full support. Well, the majority of us do," he explained. I didn't worry too much about that "majority" comment.

"So, I'm guessing there's more you're interested in telling me," I said.

He smirked and pushed his glasses back up on his face. "Yes, I do. But not now. It's getting late, and I need to do a bit more research," he said. "One last thing. Ido's having a meeting tomorrow morning after Hanneko makes his announcement."

"Announcement? He never said anything about morning announcements."

"It was mentioned in the handbook. Did you even regard it?"

"Uh… no."

"Well, you should. It may be helpful for you." He left without another word.

Finally. It was getting a bit uncomfortable having that guy in my room. I'd actually forgotten about the handbook. Oh, well. I'll check it out tomorrow. I'm really tired right now. A bell rang.

"Excuse me, may I have your attention? It is now 10:00. Nighttime has commenced. I recommend not going out if you want to prolong your miserable lives, but that's your choice in the end. Good night~"

Ugh. That was just as uncomfortable as Tougo's visit. Tougo? God damn it, I remembered his name. Oh, well. That's the least of my worries now. It didn't take long before I was fast asleep.

Fire. Smoke. Blood. The world is burning before my eyes. Tall structures are collapsing. Men in strange masks are destroying things with sledgehammers…. Where am I? The burning signs seem to be in Japanese, but I don't recognize anything in this scenario… And yet, it's extremely familiar. I'm feeling a disgusting sort of nostalgia. Am I… enjoying this?

"U pu pu pu! U pu pu pu pua a ha ha HA HA HA! It's so wonderful! Look, Onee-chan. You can practically see the despair in the faces of these people!" A girl. She couldn't be much older than me, judging from her side profile. She had an oddly familiar blonde color to her hair and a decent sense of fashion. It worked on her, but it's not really my style—what the fuck am I blabbering about? And what the fuck was she blabbering about? And how can she see the expressions of people wearing some creepy bear masks? In an odd way, they kinda reminded me of Hanneko…

And… was she calling me Onee-chan? I think I'd remember having a little sister that was so different from me…

"Oh, you don't agree?" She turned to me as if she expected some sort of answer. I could see that she was holding a stuffed bear toy. Its face looked like the masks on these people.

"Oh, well. That's too bad," she said, which snapped me out of my reverie… A reverie within a dream? She continued talking. "It's fine if you disagree, Onee-chan. I can help you find a new source of despair!" Before I realized what she could possibly mean by that, I felt sharp pains in… everywhere… Black blades covered in pink dominated my sight, and I fell down. "You'll be gone soon, but don't worry! I will bring about enough despair for the both of us! Good riddance, hideous brute," she said to me as she began to step on my face.

"AAAAGH!" I woke up in a cold sweat. What was that? It was horrible. I felt like I was watching the world crumble at my feet…

Chuchu! Chuchu! Chuchu! My ElectroID. What a strange tone. It sounded kinda like… mouse squeaks…

I turned it on. I had a message from Nezumi. It asked if I could meet her by Kenzo's room if I was still awake. She sent it about thirty minutes ago… She might not still be there, but it couldn't hurt to check. I got out of bed and put on my daily clothes. This shouldn't take too long.

I made my way around the corner of the hallway. One door had Tobiki's face on it. I stupidly assumed Kenzo's would be next to it. Oddly enough, it was. I approached his door and knocked. I was greeted by Tobiki.

"Wakabayashi-kun? I didn't know you'd be here," I said. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said. I didn't believe him for a second.

"Uh… Okay. Is Nezumi here?"

"Oh, right. Sorry," he said. He seemed to be lost in thought for a while. "Come in."

I walked into Kenzo's room. We've only been here for a day, but the walls were already lined with pictures of schematics and designs for buildings.

"Those were designed by Ken-kun," said Tobiki.

"Oh! I didn't know he designed buildings, too," I said. Tobiki nodded.

"Yeah. I didn't realize he had such a talent for architecture before," said Tobiki.

"Oh. Well, I guess you must have influenced him quite a bit," I said. Still, these ideas were just as unusual as Tobiki's, but they had a different style to them…

"Hey, how long have you been there, Rin-chan?" Nezumi's voice. She was sitting on Kenzo's bed. She greeted me jovially for someone who was crying her eyes out earlier…

"Hi," I said. "So, is there a reason why you asked me to come here?"

"Of course," said Nezumi. She handed me Kenzo's ElectroID. "Open it up," she said. I sat on the bed and tried to get it to start up. Once it did, it displayed an icon that was obviously designed to look like Kenzo. The icon name was "Dying Message: Kenzo Tsukuru." Naturally, I wanted to know what it was all about, so I opened it. A hologram appeared in the shape of Kenzo…

"Yo," said the hologram. "I am Kenzo Tsukuru. Please give me your name." It sounds so robotic…

"Rin Nakauchi," I stated. I was unsure of what would happen next.

"Oh, Nakauchi-san," it said. It mimicked Kenzo's deep voice. "I suppose the other two invited you," he said.

"Uh… yeah…" This didn't make sense. This hologram seemed to be acting just like Kenzo… Well, maybe a bit wordier, but it was still too much like him.

"I only have a few more moments to speak. After time is up, I restart from the beginning," it said.

"I… wha?" I turned to Nezumi for an explanation.

"Later, later," she said.

"The reason why I exist is to apologize to Wakabayashi-kun," he said.

He continued. "I want Wakabayashi-kun to know that I'm sorry for my deplorable actions. Trying to kill you was a horrible action, which I deeply regret. I have a few confessions to make. I've always been jealous of Wakabayashi-kun's designing skills and the support he had. I wanted to create ideas that could be translated into real life, but it wasn't a venture for which I was recognized. I was seen as a big, hulking mass of muscle by many, so I had to resort to the next best thing: building structures. I found a false solace in that. Still, Wakabayashi-kun's skills overshadowed mine. My parents would say thinks like 'anyone could build things, but it takes true talent to conceive ideas like these' when seeing what Wakabayashi-kun had come up with.

When this hell offered an opportunity to escape, I tried to take it like a desperate fool. If I could become the sole survivor and escapee, maybe then I could pursue what I loved without Wakabayashi-kun's talents overshadowing mine. In addition, who would suspect the best friend who deeply treasured their friendship to be the killer? Evil thoughts like those dominated my mind until right before my death. I know this is cliché, but it hurt me more than it hurt him. I realized what a monster I had become in that theater, while holding Wakabayashi-kun's hair in my hands. Seeing him on the verge of tears helped snap me out of it. Unfortunately, as I began to change my mind, I was knocked out. I must have been, since that's the last thing I remember."

Wow. Kenzo's pretty fucked up.

"Wakabayashi-kun, are you still there? If so," he continued, "I deeply regret my decision to try to kill you. I hope you don't believe it's only because it led to my downfall. You're like my little brother, and I want you to live a long, happy life. Hopefully our time together will only be a small portion of it."

Tobiki had started crying at this point. "Ken-kun," he said calmly. "I'm sorry for not realizing you felt this way before. I just want you to know that I would have gladly given my life to let you escape. But," he looked at me and Nezumi. "I couldn't give the lives of everyone else here for solely your sake. I'm sorry," he said.

"Stop apologizing! I have a few more requests: live a long and happy life, get taller, fall in love, create the best buildings in existence, and forget about that bastard who tried to take that from you." He appears to have finished.

"I'll never forget my best friend," Tobiki whispered.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said. I can't take this sappy shit anymore. "How do we even know he's telling his true intentions?" I highly doubted Kenzo regretted his decision, to be blatantly honest.

"What reason would I have to lie? To preserve a legacy that ended here today? If I'm dead, what''ll I care what people thought of me? I want my true intentions to be clear to Wakabayashi-kun," said the hologram. I still didn't trust that, but Tobiki and Nezumi seemed to be.

"Wait," Nezumi said. "Do you have more time before you sign off?"

"I do," he said.

"Good, I have a question. Can we show you to everyone at Kotaka's meeting tomorrow morning?"

"Uh… I'll leave that up to Wakabayashi-kun to decide," he said.

Now that she mentioned it, I have some questions as well.

"Hey," I said. "Why do you even exist?"

"Uh… I'm an artificial intelligence programmed into Kenzo Tsukuru's ElectroID," he said. Back to the robot voice. "I adopted the look and mannerisms of the owner of the device."

"Artificial intelligence? Well, you didn't do too good a job at adopting Tsukuru-kun's personality," I said.

"Actually… he's startlingly like Ken-kun. Ken-kun didn't talk much around others, but he spoke very much around me and our families," said Tobiki.

"Oh…" Well, now I feel like an ass.

"Please forgive Rin-chan, Tsukuru-kun. Xe's probably still mad from earlier," said Nezumi.

"Xe?" What?

"Yeah," she said. "I still don't know your gender, so just calling you 'xe' is the easiest thing to do now, Rin-chan," said Nezumi. I sighed.

"I have another question," I said. "How did you manage to adopt his personality traits?"

"It takes a minimum of one week for an ElectroID AI to gain an idea of the user's idiosyn –" began the hologram. It soon cut off.

"What? That makes no sense," said Nezumi. She was right. Kenzo couldn't have had the ElectroID for more than a day. Hell, it wasn't even a day. How did it manage to recreate him without the minimum amount of information? I began to wonder these things, but as I did, I realized I was drifting off to sleep…

Riiiing. "Excuse me, may I have your attention? It is nyao 7:00, meaning it's morning time! Let's give it our all again today, nya~"

Gah… that must be the morning announcement glasses-guy mentioned. "Rin-chan? Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! It's almost time for Taka-chan's meeting!" Ugh, did I fall asleep in Kenzo's room? That's going to be uncomfortable. I'm not too fond of the idea of sleeping in a dead man's room… Anyway, after I opened my eyes, I saw Nezumi and Tobiki standing over me. I presume they were attempting to wake me.

"Uh… bleh." I yawned. "Were you guys here the whole time?"

"Nah. My room is across the hall, and Tobiki's is right next door. I just came to see if Rin-chan woke up yet," said Nezumi. "I got some clothes for you!"

I looked to see what was lain out on the bed. There were a few t-shirts, but only two options for bottoms: one pair of pants and a skirt. I'm starting to wonder if this is some kind of test…

"Gee, thanks, Mouse girl," I said. "Buuut… I still need to take a shower and brush my teeth. I don't feel comfortable using someone else's bathroom, so I'll just go to my room," I say. Before she can voice her inevitable complaints about trying to figure out my gender, I run out of the room. It's still pretty funny making her mad about that.

I arrived at my room and began to get ready for the day. I decided to wear a t-shirt and jeans, like I did yesterday. I checked my ElectroID. It was 8:15. I started getting ready at about 8:05, so that's a new personal best.

It looked like I was the last to arrive at the cafeteria. The Super High School Level Politician, Kotaka Ido, had already begun the meeting.

"And, in addition to figuring out how that cat is working, we need to—," said Kotaka, but she was interrupted.

"Hey, who decided you would be the leader behind this, anyway?" A dissenting voice came from Ying.

"Well, considering I've been admitted to this school specifically for my talents in leading groups of people to achieving common goals, I figured I'd probably be the best person to lead the group," said Kotaka. "Ah, Nakauchi has arrived."

"Hey, why not have Nakacchi lead us?" Ying asked this.

"Uh," I said. "I'd rather not be the leader in this, to be honest."

"Yeah, for once, I agree with the hikikomori. It would probably not make a very good leader," said Alice. It?

"Don't call Rin-chan an it! It's rude," said Nezumi.

"No, what's rude is slamming doors into people," retorted Alice.

I was prepared to make a remark, but Bunpei beat me to it. "Hey, calm it! Stop being so rude to Rin-chama!"

"Chama?"

"Yeah. It's a mix of 'chan' and 'sama'," explained Bunpei.

"Uh, can you even tell what Rin is? No offense, Rin, but Tougo told me that 'chan' is a kinda feminine suffix," said Jay.

"Uh…" I said. What is going on? Is the issue of my gender really a cause for such debate?

"Anyway, back to the leadership issue. Since Nakacchi doesn't want to lead, I propose we nominate Sugicchi," said Ying. "He's a billion times nicer than you, and he's actually tried to make friends with us instead of boss us around."

"Hey, you shouldn't be so mean to Ido-san," said Yasushi.

"See? He's even being nice to you—"

"Uhm, guys," whispered Ko. "Breakfast is ready…"

"Um, did she cook asagohan for all of us? If so, how do we know we can trust her cooking? She could have poisoned it," said Neko.

"Uh, I can vouch for her, since I went and helped cook a while ago," said Ying.

"But isn't that just vouching for yourself?" Glasses guy this time.

"I don't think Ko-chan would try to poison us," said Tamaki.

"I agree," said Yasushi. "Without trust, we'll eventually fall to ruin."

"We may fall to ruin with trust," said a girl with coke-bottle glasses and braided black twintails. Who was she? "Don't you remember what just happened last night with Tan Blonde and Short Friend?"

"Another one who doesn't know anyone's name," said Glasses guy. After this comment, the room pretty much erupted in arguments everywhere. Well, Tobiki and Ko didn't participate. Both just looked sad.

"ENOOOOOOOOUGH!" Ko yelled. She managed to get everyone's attention with that one.

"Uh…" she said. "If you guys are worried about breakfast, then I'll go first and get a bit of everything to try out to prove that it's not poisoned. Please come get something to eat, everyone…" Her voice just got lower and lower the more she spoke. That yell probably took a lot out of her.

We all followed Ko into the kitchen. I felt kinda sorry for her. She only wants to be comfortable around these people, but quite a few of them turned on her. Must be taxing.

She went to the cabinet first to pick up her plate. She picked the second one down.

"Hey," said Tobiki. "Why didn't you take the plate on top?"

"Oh, it's a habit," whispered Ko. After this, we each fixed our own food and went back to the cafeteria. Kotaka continued to speak, but Hanneko arrived.

"Enjoying your breakfast, you bastards?"

"AAAGH! HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!" He managed to startle coke-bottle glasses girl. Her voice began to sound kinda foreign after that…

"That's not important. I just came to remind you that you all have a play to put on! It's Tuesday, and you're premiering the play on Friday," he said. "I hope you all can get it done on time~" With that, he left. I had completely forgotten about that fucking play.

Breakfast was uneventful beyond that point. Tobiki let Nezumi play Kenzo's dying message, and the crowd had mixed reactions. A depressing quiet fell on the crowd at that point. It wasn't until we arrived at the theater that anyone decided to start any conversation. I mainly walked around visiting the different groups. This time was meant to double as free time, so we were free to do what we wanted. Most of them chose to do stuff for the play. I spoke to Ko and Tamaki when visiting the costume department (while Alice ignored me), and I spoke to Ying after Glasses guy pulled me over to "Stop being dead weight" and help them. My goofing off with Ying pissed him off enough to force me to leave and do something else.

I walked around the booth at the top of the theater, too. Hehe, I managed to waste my entire day trying to make some friends (I think) before getting there. I wound up walking in on Kotaka and Yasushi.

"Anyway, I didn't need you to try to stick up for me," said Kotaka.

"Well, sorry, it's kinda in my nature. While I can't say that I agree with your style of leadership, I don't like seeing people try to tear each other down like that," countered Yasushi.

"I don't need your help, anyway!"

"How could you possibly not need help? Even the best politicians needed help."

"Simple: I'm better than they are."

"Or there's less you actually need to be responsible for."

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all, Ido-san."

"Anyway, quit trying to take jabs at me! All you've done is 'make friends,' and look what a whole hell of a lot of good having friendships has done."

"Are you saying that Tsukuru-san's murder came about because some of us were trying to be nice?"

"I'm saying that we don't need friendship here. We need leadership."

"Haha! You're adorable when you try to sound serious."

I couldn't tell if Kotaka was blushing or really mad. "You condescending—" she began, but then she noticed that I was there.

"Na-Na-Na… How long have you been there?!" Kotaka looked surprised and embarrassed.

"Hey, Nakauchi-san! I don't think I've had the chance to talk to you before," said Yasushi. He was significantly less embarrassed than Kotaka.

"Uh… Yeah, hi," I said.

"Nakauchi! You can help resolve this," said Kotaka.

"Hm… you mean you want Nakauchi-san to exercise diplomacy, Ido-san?" Yasushi seemed to be having fun messing with Kotaka.

"Shut up," replied Kotaka.

"Uh… Anyway, I'm not sure how I'd be of any help," I said.

"Nonsense! A third party opinion may be just what we need," said Yasushi. "So, the issue here is with how Ido-san leads. While I have confidence in her leadership skills, she's way too aggressive and doesn't listen much to the opinions of others."

"Hey, are you trying to kiss up or piss me off?"

"Anyway, I'm trying to see if I can convince her that we need to be able to effectively communicate with our peers in order to combat this problem. Diplomacy would be our best option here."

"Uh…" I began. "I guess maybe Sugihara-kun has a point here. A politician is a leader, but that doesn't mean you need to take on every burden, Ido-san. Maybe having two leaders would be better, and would probably stop this quarreling," I said. I tried to sound serious, but that speech seems more cheesy than anything now that I look back on it.

"But I don't need anyone else to lead with me," said Kotaka. "I've helped resolve issues on a national scale before, so I'm pretty sure I can do this on my own."

"Then…" This girl is being impossible… "How about having someone lead under you?"

"Yeah, like me! I could be your second in command," said Yasushi.

"Grrr… Fine. I guess you do have a point, Nakauchi," said Kotaka. She turned to Yasushi. "Just remember, Sugihara, you are under me, not the same level as me."

"I'm fine with that as long as progress can be made," said Yasushi. "Now, first order of business: you need to be nicer to people."

Kotaka then punched Yasushi in the shoulder, and he staggered over slightly. "I'm not one to be bossed around. Remember that you're under me," she said. Um… What? He just regained his balance and laughed.

"Haha! It's a good thing we have such a strong leader," said Yasushi. I didn't realize they'd become so close. Either that, or Yasushi is a masochist... "You know what you should do," he continued.

"Hmph. It's not good to annoy your leader," she said as she took out her ElectroID. "Nakauchi," she began. "Are you a boy or girl?"

"Not telling. Sorry, but I can't play favorites here," I said.

"Fine," she said. "You can go now."

I immediately took the invitation. She was rude, but it doesn't seem like she was trying to be mean. Unlike Alice, anyway. I wandered back to the dorms. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. We had a little over three hours until nighttime. I was about to turn the corner when I accidentally ran into someone (again).

"Ah! Rin-chan!" It didn't take long to guess who it was. "Did you hear about the slumber party?"

"What? What slumber party?"

"Taka-chan invited all the girls to a slumber party," she said. "Did you get invited?"

"Yeah, no," I said. "I declined telling her what I was as she was inviting people, I assume."

"Boo! Rin-chan, why are you so mean?!"

"Anyway, have fun, Mouse girl," I said as I walked away. I ignored her protests and went back to my room. There was still time until Hanneko's nighttime announcement, but I was really tired. I got in bed and hoped that I wouldn't have another one of those nightmares.