Again, I have to start this time saying I am sorry for the long delay… I am back, hopefully to stay until the end. I re-wrote and corrected the previous chapters and upload new versions. No major changes so far, just some adjustments. Hopefully they will be more clear and understandable now (and with fewer errors!).
Because the extra kick I needed to move ahead, get a grip and catch up with the story, this chapter is heartily dedicated to Atlantis Lux.
Thanks to the readers and reviewers.
Warning: Story rated M. I know, not too much has happened… yet, but it will come. The rate includes intimate encounters between two females as well as other sexual content and also other disturbing themes and/or violence.
Disclaimer: Sunrise owns Mai Hime and Mai Otome characters. All the characters and situations depicted in this story are fictitious.
Killing Kiyohime
BOOK ONE. The Awakening.
X.
I fell for her the first time I saw her under the silver light of the moon. I fell completely, irremediably… helplessly. I didn´t know it in that moment but I realized it later, when it was too late. Maybe it was always too late. If there is light into the darkness, she was that light. She seemed to belong to the night under the moonlight and she was beautiful…oh, so beautiful and relentless. I should have known then I was already lost. I should have known then she would be the only one who could be ever able to kill me.
Novosibirsk 1399. Two days before Winter Solstice.
I have never been eager to please anyone; but I wear a mask all the times. I have no fear of anyone but no one can truly see my 'real' self.
My beloved grandmother is the only exception because she was an even better pretender than me, and we are the only ones able to read the other. Our perfect façade lure many people toward us just to get our very gentile and graceful disdain. I have never been interested in to give anyone anything more than that.
Despite those facts, here I am trying to be pleasant with this young and wild girl.
We have been walking during a while after her sword training but she doesn´t seem interested in talking or asking anything to me and maybe because she looks so reticent and so distant, so unwilling of my company that I have to stay and ask her odd questions so I can hear her voice.
"Your technique with the sword is very good Kuga-san, very different from the style we are used here in the city."
A low and sullen 'hmmmn' is the only sound I get regardless my best and most brilliant smile. She didn´t even look at me. After acknowledging I was a good fighter and saying my name, the youngest member of the Kuga Clan remains in a stubborn and disturbing quietness. It is a bit surprising when she suddednly stop walking and turn, looking back at me with brilliant eyes.
"Natsuki," was the only word she says.
"Excuse me?" I must have missed some part of the conversation.
"You can call me Natsuki," she explains finally. "My grandmother says we shall be reciprocal with our peers."
That´s right; I told her to call me by my name but I was still referring her by her family name. She was looking at me with those amazing green eyes, waiting.
"Thank you…Natsuki."
And before I could avoid it, a sincere smile is showing in my lips. I notice it but it is already too late to hide it and Natsuki´s gaze is so open and straightforward that I thought it was fair enough to let it be that way.
The sun is rising rapidly making a clear, limpid day as Natsuki´s eyes and is getting warmer. It is still a beautiful day before the hardness of the winter for come. Unfortunately I don´t have more time to enjoy either the day or the company of this reluctant girl. A servant comes to me with a message from the government building. I am one of the city Counselors and there will be a lot to do for the next days, my presence is required. Also there is an idea bugging in my mind where my line of work can be useful.
My day was crowded and busy far past sunset, I haven´t had meal since breakfast, feel tired and a bit overwhelmed with the attention some people is giving me. Since our ´forced visit' to Malleus Dogma several days ago, Mai Tokiha and Nao Yuuki have been extremely cautious with me. We are the only ones who know the real reason behind all those people burned almost every day and the three of us were equally surprised to know that this morning was the exception. No one was punished this morning, and for the first time in days, I can feel some relief. The scavengers must be on the other hand, very upset, together with the Doctrine´s executioners.
It was a tough day, I have good news for Svetlana and our guests, I want to go home as soon as possible and the last thing I wanted was to find that little man waiting for me at the entrance of the Government building.
"Good evening Shizuru-san, seems you had a pretty busy day, so I took the liberty to come to pick you up," he dares to tell me with that insidious smile of his. Nagi Homura, the smart little brat that we have to tolerate in our house.
I am sure I look perfect and that he can´t see anything through me, but he is a good guesser.
He is waiting with the carriage´s door opened for me to get in, with that confident attitude and that smile, as if challenging me to refuse. I am in fact; about to refuse indicating that I love to walk on icy nights but never have the chance. Prime Minister Kanzaki and his brother chose that very time to get out of the building. They are the main reason me and my family has to bear the brat.
"Homura-san! So good to see you, I see you came to pick up our Counselor."
Reito is always too nice and charm with everybody but in particular with me. I know I can´t cheat or tease him as I do with others. He is a bright and clever man with refined good manners. As me, he also wears his own mask. We knew that much about us and still respect each other. His brother and Prime Minister, Rei Kanzaki is also nice but more…reserved and distant.
No matter how much I insisted I didn´t need additional help or protection, Reito insisted even more for me to take Homura. The reasons were Homura´s vast experience dealing with important and noble people as well as politics, the fact that he was well known and respected for the regular citizens and the scarcely spoken concern that someone could feel tempted to attack the ´fallen Hime´ with this ´sensitive' solstice so close to be celebrated. After so many years, centuries in fact, Fujino family was again gathering a position. It was not the one we used to have centuries ago, but we were on the path to at least, be trusted again and the Prime Minister and Reito as my supporters' didn´t want to risk that in any way. Svetlana suspected the request could be part of their political agenda; since there were subtle signs pointing that Reito could have more than just political ´interest´ towards me.
The decisive argument that finally made me relent on the subject came from Svetlana herself one night. "Take the man, Shizuru," she told me without lifting her eyes from her lecture "sometimes is better to have your enemies closer than your friends."
I look at the handsome man standing in front of me, smiling and I find hard to think about him as an enemy, but Svetlana rarely miss the mark. She distrusts Reito as much as she dislikes Homura and I am wondering why.
"Good evening Reito-san, Prime Minister. I was about to say Homura-san that I am in the mood for a walk tonight. His gentle offering won´t be necessary this time." Reito´s glance turn serious at my plans but then I find him smiling again.
"Great, then we will have chance to walk and talk a bit," he says offering his arm to me.
So, it will be either Reito or Homura but seems there is no escape for me tonight. Between the two of them, Reito is definitively more bearable.
After asking Nagi to take the Prime Minister back to the Kanzaki Court, we were left alone to walk to my house. With the carriage it is a five minutes ride as much. Walking as slow as Reito is doing now it could be a good half an hour. He must have something really important to tell me.
"I heard you have visitors on your house," he says surprising me for getting right into the point so soon. Regularly, he prefers to be more cryptic.
"Your informant was correct," I say matching his tone…for now.
We keep walking in silence several minutes, it's already late and there is no one around in streets. Reito seems either lost in his thoughts or deciding what's the best course of action for whatever in his mind. My hand is still on his arm and I can feel him tensing before he stops the march.
"You are doing a wonderful job in the city government Shizuru." He is looking at me and there is no nice smile on his face. "Rei and I have great expectations for you. It will be really…hard for me if you risk that for something that it is not significant."
Again, I look at him with an equally serious gaze. We are standing in front of each other but Reito still have my arm grabbed.
"What exactly do you mean Reito?" It is late for being that delicate and my grandmother is surely expecting me to have dinner with our guests."
"That´s exactly what I mean Shizuru; your ´guests´ are not the more pleasant visitors we are having these days. Inna Kuga was exiled almost 40 years ago for opposing and confronting the Doctrine, you know that."
It´s true, I knew that, as a general fact. As a tale that people talks about with the distance of time. 40 years is too much for a life, my mother was a child and I was not even close to be born. I never expected to have them as visitors and certainly, I never expected Inna Kuga to have that close friendship with my grandmother. Svetlana has never told me a word of Inna Kuga, her family or why she was exiled. But I remember their encounter last night; I remember the way they were looking at each other. Like it or not, Inna Kuga is important for my grandmother. Unfortunately, I can´t tell anything of this to Reito.
"This is the most important celebration of our culture, Reito. I think it could be expected the Kuga clan would come. They are one of the sacred clans, they are Himes, no exile can change that. All the Clans will be reuniting for this unique occasion," I make a pause and smile confidently, trying another approach. "Besides, it is only appropriate for the ´fallen ones´ to be the host for the ´exiled ones´ don´t you think, Reito-kun?"
My playful tone was not successful with Reito this time. Seems that is he is really concerned for something and that is probably not the reason he is voicing.
"You don´t understand Shizuru. Taking them in your house was the worst decision you could have ever made."
Grabbing both of my arms, Reito pull me closer so suddednly that my hands end on his chest trying to keep the minimum distance between our bodies. He is practically hissing on my ear but surely for someone looking at us in the distance, the action will seems something completely different. Awesome, this scene will be a great fuel for the rumors and the gossip.
"Greer hates Kuga, Shizuru! The Doctrine is not an enemy that YOU among all people want to have now. I won´t be able to defend you if Greer take it against your family!"
I put more effort pushing him away as gently as possible but firmly while try to look calm and cold for him. The scene is enough as it is to make it looks also as a lover's dispute.
"The Doctrine has no prohibitions for who we can take as guests in our houses, Reito. They haven´t gone that far yet. And I really value you concern, but you are overreacting." I look at him serenely and decided.
Collecting himself, he also tries a new approach. "Granted, you are right. But why take the risk? Kuga and her family can stay anywhere else. Some people of their clan still live at the city. Having them in your house will only exacerbate the Doctrine, Shizuru; I am telling you as a friend and as someone who…cares a lot about you."
He is looking intensively at me, with a more controlled aspect now, still serious but not desperate as he looked seconds ago.
"Trust me Shizuru. Please, play safe and ask them to leave you house." After saying that, I can see his hand slowly moving to my face, however a discrete hoarse breaks his intention and we booth turn to see Shion standing at a prudent distance of us but literally glaring at Reito.
"My apologies Shizuru-san," she said after a couple of seconds and now looking at me, "your grandmother was concerned and sent me out to check if something was delaying you more than usual."
If Reito is upset by the interruption, his face is not showing it. Now is again the same charming man smiling innocently.
"As I was saying, we have guests Reito-san. I better hurry to join my grandmother," I say as I turn to join Shion.
"Shizuru-san…"
Seems this is one of those occasions he is not willing to just let it go.
"Do me a favor," he says, his smile now somehow sad, "Well, two favors actually. Please, at least consider my…advice."
I nod cautiously, I can really consider it which doesn´t means that it will change anything. "I assume that´s one. What would be the other?"
"Ask your grandmother why Inna Kuga was really exiled for."
Now I am surprised. I though we already knew the reason but seem that Reito knows something I don´t.
Shion walked me silently back home. I have grown up with her, her family serving in my family´s guard for generations. I trust her and I know she trusts me as well, but she didn´t ask me or comment a word. When we finally arrive, Svetlana is impatiently waiting and it´s noticeable in her angry tone.
"Those are really good manners Shizuru. At least send a messenger if you are so delayed. And hopefully you are so for a good reason." After saying that, Svetlana didn´t wait for my answer, walking instead directly to the kitchen to order the dinner to be served.
I decide to let her calm and during dinner we had a quiet time with our guests. Neither one of the women are in the talkative mood so I have to use my best skills to get the chance to hear a bit about how their day was around our house and other trivialities.
By the end of the dinner, I think is the best time to bring up something I discussed with Mai that morning. For the first time in centuries, all Clans will be reunited for the solstice celebration, I have personally never met most of them and tomorrow we will have a council reunion with some of the Clan Leaders at the Government building. I asked Mai to invite Inna Kuga to that meeting and probably that was the reason Reito insisted to talk with me tonight. Mai should have told him about it even when it is a Hime issue and not one related to the government, the city or the solstice celebration.
If Mai was the one telling Reito, she didn´t foresee his reaction, because she not only agreed but also gave me a signed parchment invitation for Inna. The same one I have in my hands now while Svetlana and our guests are sitting in front of the fire.
"Kuga-san," I say standing up in front of the woman who is looking back curiously at me, "On behalf of the Tokiha clan I would like to deliver this invitation to you."
Inna looks at my grandmother before taking the parchment and unfolding it to read. She takes a deep breath and her eyes are brilliant when she looks back at me again.
"After so many years, the Clans will be together again… the circle, almost completed." A pause. "I am honored dear Shizuru, but I am afraid I won´t be able to attend."
Inna looks decidedly at me and before I could say anything, she adds "I won´t be able to be there but the Kuga Clan will be present. Natsuki will be there for us."
After some seconds nothing happens and surprisingly, Natsuki and I are the only ones looking disconcerted.
"WHAT?"
Natsuki is the first one to react, practically screaming the question and standing up in front of Inna.
"Grandmother, are you…" I hold my breath but fortunately, Natsuki stop herself on time before using whatever adjective she was thinking to use. Even the big wolves seemed to shrink by looking Natsuki´s attitude or by fearing Inna´s reaction to Natsuki´s.
As I supposed, when Inna Kuga makes a decision it is made and nothing changes it.
During almost half an hour Natsuki argued, asked for her mother´s assistance (which never came) and got angered to an impassive and immutable Inna. It was like talking to a rock. A really big one. The decision was taken and nothing changed it.
When Natsuki ran out of arguments and fell on silence, Inna talked to her.
"You knew you will the clan leader one day. Well, that day has come, Natsuki."
And after saying that, Inna stood up and handed Natsuki the parchment invitation and the pendant that she had around her neck. That was the stylized symbol of their clan and each clan´s leader had one. To wear it, you have to be a Hime and the leader of your people. That pendant was a sacred stone passed generation through generation. I have only seen ours once, when I was a Child. Svetlana kept it in wood box and look at it also showed me the most terrible gaze in my grandmother´s eyes. No Fujino had worn it since hundreds of years ago. For Natsuki, to take that pendant seemed a huge responsibility; but for us, taking it was a burden we had to carry.
Internally, I am surprised that Inna is giving something that important to Natsuki so lightly, so unceremoniously. The poor girl is standing looking alternatively at the pendant and her grandmother. Even Saeko looks a bit heartbroken but keeps silent.
I look at Svetlana silently asking her to do something but when she speaks; her words are not really what I am expecting.
"Shizuru seems that Natsuki will need some…support, for tomorrow´s meeting. Maybe you can help her out a bit."
Now is my turn to stare at my grandmother. And when I turn to see Natsuki, what I see is an angry glare of pure and cold fury towards me. Of course, she thinks this is my fault. And probably it is. When I talked to Mai it seemed like the best way to bring all the Clans together. Inna was exiled but was still a Hime! I never expected her making this decision.
Inna´s next order do very few to improve my position. "You are the Clan leader now but I am still your grandmother. Don´t let our host waiting, Natsuki. Show some respect. Go."
We were literally kicked out of the room. I can understand Natsuki´s anger, I feel myself angry and with the sensation of being a peon on other people´s game. First, it was Reito, now Svetlana and Inna, and I am not used to that.
Natsuki didn´t wait for me, leaving the room with long, angry strides. I have to run (elegantly, of course) to catch up with her pace. She gets out to our front garden and just stands there, the almost full moon is high in the firmament and I realize that by now is almost midnight. The silver light falls on her tearing off glints of silver from her long hair. She is giving her back to me, I can she her muscles tensed, her fists clenched.
I get closer to her, looking for the best words and I find myself trying to say something and …failing! The words die on my lips, twice. I can´t think on the best words to say. I should not care about her reaction. I don´t know her, she is not my friend, she is nothing to me… But I care. Maybe because I know she is the most authentic person I have ever met is that I care and that I can´t just say something carelessly.
Without really think it, I put a hand on her shoulder carefully. I was almost expecting to be rejected but she let me touch her and after some seconds, turns to see me. I can see her eyes clearly under the moonlight; her green eyes are almost surreal under the silver light.
"I am sorry," is the only inappropriate phrase I could say, holding her gaze. I definitely didn´t think before saying it.
For my surprise, she doesn´t looks that angry anymore.
"It is really…not your fault." She says and looks at my hand in her shoulder and back at me.
"I am sorry," I said again retiring my hand while blaming myself almost immediately. I never apologize and here I am apologizing twice. Thrice if I count this morning! Gods in heavens.
"Is something wrong?" Natsuki asks me gently but coldly. "You don´t have to apologize for everything," she adds plainly, even she noticed my own embarrassment with myself. I will have to get a retribution for that in the near future, but not tonight. It has been enough for one day.
"It has been a long and eventful day for both of us Natsuki, that´s all." I say sighing and it is true.
She nods in agreement, silently. I am learning that with Natsuki there are no wasted words.
I asked her to sit in one of the wide stone bannisters we have in the garden and we stay there in silence until I am literally shivering with cold. I have an overcoat over my work clothes but the night chilliness still gets through me.
"Maybe we should get in Shizuru," she says seriously after a quick look at me. Duran in some point came, and lie down at Natsuki´s feet, silent as her master both of them looking at me with something close to sympathy.
"Do you think you have punished me enough?" I ask with my best hurt tone.
"What? I was not punishing you!" she says alarmed, opening big eyes.
"Well, you chose the scenery on the first place, remember? I came here following you. You were the one upset and angry."
"I…Err...wait, but you suggested staying here!"
Natsuki is struggling trying to find arguments and I could swear she is the one embarrassed now.
"Well, it seemed that Natsuki needed some time and that liked staying here, even with the cold." Natsuki gets speechless finally, failing to find another argument.
I am trembling but I am also enjoying being by the side of this woman that doesn´t want my company but stays nonetheless and that is so adorable to tease.
Suddenly, she takes her cloak and put it unceremoniously over my shoulders, adjusting it on the front, fixing her eyes on me defiantly. I am the one speechless now after her silent gesture. She looks clear, sharp into the light, with silver sheens in her hair and eyes contrasting with the shadows and the black of her hair and clothes. She looks dangerous and I am amazed staring at her change.
"I like being here, yes," something close to a smile shows in her face, "but now you can see I am not punishing you either."
I smile at her as well. We are even. We stayed a bit longer before Natsuki stand up to get in.
In the hall, we can still see some illumination on the fireplace room and we wonder if the other women would be still there.
I promise Natsuki to take time tomorrow to explain her how the meeting will work and other suggestions useful for her in her new role. She seems calmed now and more acceptant of the order of the things but still I want to be reassuring to her.
"We will go together, Natsuki" I said sincerely and in my heart, I know I really mean it.
"Well, that strategy was really a surprise, Inna."
Inna was standing in front of the fireplace lost in her thoughts.
After the unceremonious and sudden decision of leadership change for her clan and the exit of Natsuki and Shizuru, Saeko shot a dead glare to Svetlana and left the room with Ryo at her heels, leaving the two older women alone again.
Svetlana was not really expecting an answer from Inna. So, she waited as she used to do when they were young and Inna got really mad for something. One had to wait for the storm to calm down.
Eventually, Inna came back and sit by her side.
"She has to get stronger and that is the only way. One can be taught to be a leader as much as you want, but you will only become a leader by being one." Her beloved Inna was still as stubborn and tough as always.
"Likewise, you can say that as much as you can Inna, but I know why you really did it. I appreciate it, you probably don´t know how much I…care for what you did, but it is unfair for Natsuki." Svetlana´s voice was broken despite her best effort to keep it still.
By hearing it, Inna turned to see her quickly, all the tiredness fading, looking at her with intense green eyes.
"Sveta, please don´t say that. I knew this day might come. I never imagined it will be this hard though. I am not just trying to protect Shizuru. I am trying to protect everybody. If Yukino is right, and surely she is and the dark lord is somehow rising from hell or wherever he has been this ages, then Natsuki will have to be a leader not only of our Clan but for all Himes. Putting that aside, I am too old now; Saeko is not a warrior, never has been and never will be. I gave Natsuki the sword many years ago; you know she is now the only one who can protect Shizuru."
Svetlana bit her lips to not reply that she knew that, but Natsuki doesn´t. Inna had already taken the decision and acted accordingly. She can only trust on Inna´s instincts and prey that her friend was right. Svetlana could not stand the firm gaze of the other woman and turned the see the fire, still crackling; she knew she should be showing more strength but this night it seemed too much to accomplish for her. Tonight she needed to feel comforted. And as if reading her mind, still strong hands pulled her and Svetlana wondered why Inna thought she was old. Resting against Inna´s side and being embraced by her still felt like the safest place on earth.
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