Chapter song: "Drunk In Love" by Beyoncé
Nobody had told him how he had recovered so quickly, and Sanji could tell that it was a sensitive subject by the way Chopper silently nodded at the praise his medical prowess received instead of the usual dramatic rejection and his utterings of "That won't make me happy, you bastard!" Furthermore, Zoro could barely look him in the eye or say more than two words at a time, and the ladies just smirked and ruffled his blond hair affectionately whenever he brought it up. It wasn't until the archeologist and navigator called a group meeting that Sanji finally learned of his embarrassing predicament…and in front of the entire crew, too!
"So Sanji just needs to keep kissing guys, and he won't die?" Luffy confirmed in his usual blunt manner. "Well that's not so bad! Can we have lunch now, Sanji? I really missed your food!" he added, practically salivating at the thought of eating something made by the cook.
"This is crazy! We aren't even safe from curses on the Grand Line?" Usopp asked, his knees knocking together as they trembled in fear.
"I wonder if it's the result of a devil fruit ability…perhaps a curse-curse person?" Robin mused half-jokingly.
"Are you gonna ask me to kiss you, bro? I know that I'm SUPER handsome, but I'm not really sure I'm your type," Franky said thoughtfully.
"I would gladly offer my lips to be of service on your deathbed Sanji-kun, but I don't actually have lips!" Brook reminded them.
"I can't believe this is happening to me…" Sanji mumbled miserably. He hung his head in his hands and tried not to think about the 99 other kisses he would have to endure, and he tried even harder not to think about the one that he apparently already had.
As if Sanji's train of thought had prompted her, Nami asked, "Where the heck is Zoro? I called a meeting for the whole crew, and he just ignored me as usual," she huffed irritably.
"Maybe he's washing his mouth out with soap 'cuz he had to kiss Sanji!" Usopp said, cackling at his joke. They all seemed to find it incredibly amusing, with the exception of Robin who had already revealed the truth about Zoro's decision to Sanji in private:
"Swordsman-san didn't hesitate a second to stop the curse from killing you. He didn't even tell the rest of the crew what you needed to reverse its effects. He sent everyone away to save you any unnecessary embarrassment. You should have seen how anxious he was to get to you before it was too late—if you had, you wouldn't feel anything towards him but gratitude," Robin had explained.
"I see. I'm not upset with him, Robin-chan. I owe him my life, don't I?" Sanji could hardly believe they were talking about the same Zoro who drew his swords with a deadly look in his eye whenever the cook refused him alcohol—the guy who called him every name in the book and constantly taunted him about his curly eyebrows. The Zoro that Sanji was used to barely looked his way when they passed each other on the deck, except to pick a fight, and the swordsman rarely expressed any indication that he cared for Sanji's well-being—though he knew that Zoro did consider him nakama, which meant that he cared insofar as he was obligated to as his crewmate.
Sanji almost wished that Robin hadn't told him the truth, because now he kept asking himself why? Why did Zoro act so aloof and disagreeable around Sanji if he really cared so much? Or am I just looking at his behaviour too deeply? Sanji thought. That moss-brain probably only has one setting in serious situations, and it's "risk it all and be a hero." He was probably just doing what he thought was his duty since we're nakama. Satisfied with that answer, Sanji resolved to cook all of Zoro's favorite foods tomorrow as a thank you for saving his life, and then they would be able to act like nothing had happened between them.
That had been the plan, but Zoro didn't get up for breakfast even when multiple people called him. He seemed content with sleeping the morning away, and part of the afternoon too, only rising to make himself a quick snack before his afternoon training session. By dinnertime, Zoro climbed down from the crow's nest looking absolutely exhausted. Usually, he would be content and energetic after a tough workout, because the adrenaline would continue to fuel the happy glow that came with a job well done, but today he seemed rather agitated.
"Where the fuck have you been all day, moss-head?" Sanji overlooked the swordsman's sweaty state due to the fact that the man had slept through two meals and was clearly running on empty. "The crew already finished eating. We had onigiri—your favourite. You're lucky I saved you some, or it all would've ended up in Luffy's greedy gut. Now sit the fuck down and finish this plate so I can wash it," he ordered.
Zoro seemed too fatigued to offer much of an argument, so he dragged his feet into the galley, still shirtless from his workout, and took a seat in front of Sanji's perfect arrangement of rice balls. A bottle of the expensive sake stood open and waiting as well, which caused Zoro to raise his eyebrows in surprise, but he didn't mention the unusual gesture from the cook. While he began ravaging the pile of onigiri, Sanji took a seat across from him at the table and began casually nibbling a single rice ball. The pair managed to sit in relatively comfortable silence for quite a few minutes before Zoro broke it to offer Sanji some of the sake. Surprised, he accepted and poured himself a tall glass.
"Thanks for the food, Cook. That workout wiped me out. I felt really off my game today," he admitted, seeming annoyed.
"No problem. Thanks for saving my life with that kiss."
Zoro choked on his onigiri and had to chug a couple mouthfuls of sake to clear his throat. "How did you—?!"
"Robin."
"Ah."
Sanji took a few large sips of his drink as an awkward silence fell between them. "Sorry you had to be the one to do it. Must've sucked," he commented sympathetically.
"It didn't," Zoro said. He quickly realized that his answer was too sudden, but it was too late to take it back. Words began pouring out of his mouth seemingly before he could stop them. "I mean…you were dying. I don't care that I had to kiss you. I wouldn't have cared even if it had been something less serious than that because—" he caught himself, both of them taking another couple swigs of sake before he continued, "—because you're important to me. You know that I lost Kuina when there was nothing I could've done to save her, so I'm sure as hell not gonna complain about being able to save a friend when I had the chance."
Sanji's lips spread into a wide smile, sending Zoro's thoughts into a frenzy of delight when he realized that the cook's happy expression was only for him. "What's that stupid goofy grin for, love-cook?"
"You called me your friend," Sanji told him simply. "I didn't think you even liked me, let alone considered me a friend," he explained with a laugh. A slight flush had crept across his face from the heavy drink—Sanji was an incredible lightweight. Zoro discovered that he was violently glad the sake seemed to have tempered the cook's volatile personality, because he didn't think that Sanji would've taken that slip of the tongue so well had he been completely sober.
"I do—like you, I mean." Zoro felt his eyes widen in horror at his own words. Oh God, what am I saying?! he thought, mentally prepared himself to do damage control if the cook lashed out at him for saying something so out of character.
"I like you too, marimo," Sanji said, and Zoro's heart stopped when he smiled again. "I'm pretty glad to be alive right now. Hey! We should celebrate me not being dead, don'tcha think? Have a party? I'll cook EVERYTHING we have in stock!"
It became apparent then that the cook was very, very drunk. "Dammit, curly-brow! Learn to hold your liquor!" Zoro chastised. He watched as Sanji knocked back the rest of his sake, stumbling as he tried to walk to the pantry to prepare for his spontaneous party. The utter confusion on the cook's face was priceless when he looked around from the spot on the floor where he'd fallen on his ass.
"How'd I git down here?" he wondered.
"That's it, we're going to bed," Zoro told him, amused.
"Together?" Sanji asked seriously, eyeing the swordsman's still shirtless chest contemplatively.
Zoro's face blanched. "NO!" he shouted, causing Sanji to flinch at his shocked tone. "I'll help you into your bed, and then I'm going to mine."
"Yer not gonna kiss me again, are you?" the cook asked. It was clearly meant to be a joke, because Sanji began laughing as though it were the funniest thing in the world. "At least make sure'm conscious next time, pervert-marimo!"
"Hell, you don't even know what you're saying, do you? I'm never sharing the good sake with you again. It's torture for my heart," he said absently. Sanji didn't appear to have been paying attention to that and had become fascinated by the strings of his apron, which he'd somehow gotten his hand tangled in behind his back.
"Zorooo?" he called, frustrated when it wouldn't come undone and the second one became entangled as well. "Help me?"
The swordsman sighed and went to free the cook from his unfortunately provocative predicament. "You're a sorry excuse for a man, you know that? You get piss drunk after one glass of premium booze, somehow managing to truss yourself up in a pink apron, and then beg me for help? I wish you could see yourself right now."
"Then bring me a mirror," Sanji suggested helpfully.
Zoro burst out laughing as he helped the wasted cook to his feet. "Don't puke on me, or I'll cut you up in the morning," he warned, since the act of standing had made the other man look a little green. Sanji shook his head, careful to keep his mouth firmly shut, and leaned heavily on Zoro's bare shoulder for support.
They made their way to the men's dorms, Zoro's muscles screaming in pain, while Sanji rambled on about the party he still thought they were about to have. It wasn't until he nearly dropped the other man due to a particularly intense muscle spasm that Zoro began to have reservations about the aches and pains spreading through his worn-out body. Figuring that he could probably sleep it off, he tucked a very uncooperative Sanji into bed, having to do so with one hand over the blond's mouth to keep him from waking up the whole crew, and climbed into his own bunk where he passed out to the uncomfortable sensation of weakness seeping into his bones.
Sanji awoke the next morning with an incredible hangover. His body told him that he'd overslept and missed breakfast, meaning that the beautiful Nami-swan and Robin-chan had gone yet another morning without their handsome chef's talented cooking to start the day. He was surprised that no one had woken him but was less surprised that Zoro had also slept in as usual. For some reason, looking at the swordsman's sleeping form caused a pang of regret and embarrassment in Sanji's gut, so he aimed a half-powered kick at his stupid green head to wake him up and get to the bottom of the feeling.
"Oi, shitty swordsman! Your patch of grass could use a little sunlight, don't you think? Get up!"
Zoro grunted and rolled over to face Sanji. A single eyelid cracked open, his dark, piecing eye meeting the cook's sea-blue one before the lazy asshole decided to snuggle deeper into his blankets and ignore the blond completely.
"You are such a child, marimo. Get UP!" He used the toes of his dominant leg to hook under the edge of Zoro's bunk and tip it in one fluid movement, sending the sleeping man sprawling onto the cold deck.
"…Ow…" Zoro muttered weakly from the pile of blankets on the floor. A single hiss escaped his teeth, and he didn't move from the crumpled heap at Sanji's feet.
"Zoro?" No response. "ZORO! What the hell—did you fall back asleep?"
"…No," came the grunt from the floor, "…hurts…" he elaborated.
Sanji felt the tiniest bit of alarm at that. Since when did the stupid muscle-head admit to being in pain? It couldn't be from a hangover—the man could hold his liquor like the ocean held fish. The cook crouched down, ignoring the slight throbbing in his head thanks to the sake he'd drank last night, and tugged at the blankets until the swordsman rolled out onto his back. He frowned, forehead wrinkling in a pained grimace as he struggled into a seated position at Sanji's eye level.
"You could at least warn a guy first," he grumbled, staring at Sanji's face for a moment before closing his eyes and putting a hand to his head. "Your damn eyebrow is making me dizzy…might puke."
"Fuck you and your hatred for my eyebrow."
"Don't hate it—just think it's silly," he mumbled, seeming dazed.
"How much did you drink last night?" Sanji asked.
"I finished that bottle you gave me."
"Just the one?"
"Yeah."
Sanji shook his head in confusion. There was no way it was a hangover if the swordsman had only finished a single bottle of sake, yet he'd said he was in pain and was feeling dizzy. "Oi, are you feeling alright?"
"I'll be fine, curly-brow. I just overdid it yesterday in the crow's nest."
"You told me that you were off your game. What did you mean?"
"I don't know. I couldn't finish my reps because I was too tired. Didn't seem to have any energy—even though I slept most of the day."
Sanji felt an alarming sense of familiarity as Zoro talked about his symptoms, but he had other things on his mind that he also wanted answers to. "What else happened yesterday? I remember us talking in the galley and then drinking sake, but most of the conversation topics seem to be eluding me."
A smirk spread across Zoro's face. "Do you remember falling on your ass?"
"Vaguely," Sanji said, grimacing. "So let me have it. I take it I embarrassed myself in some way?"
"A few ways."
"Damn."
"I'm not gonna tell you what we talked about, though. It makes for great blackmail material."
"I fucking hate you."
"Sure you do," Zoro said good-naturedly. He gave Sanji a sly, knowing glance that sent a shiver down his spine. He felt heat creeping into his face and hastily stood up without offering Zoro a hand.
"You must be as hungry as I am. Want breakfast?" he asked casually, praying that whatever Zoro now had on him didn't involve singing or kissing. Kissing? Sanji thought wildly. Why did I have to imagine that as the worst case scenario?! There's no way I kissed him. He couldn't help but wonder though, because a whole day had passed since the curse had been reset, and Sanji hadn't felt the slightest decrease in energy. In fact, he felt suspiciously normal, but he was too embarrassed to ask Zoro if he'd reset the curse a second time when he'd been drunk last night.
"I could eat. What are you making?" Zoro asked, breaking Sanji out of his internal monologue.
"Whatever you want."
"Really?" Zoro said gleefully. "I thought you said you weren't my butler?" he teased.
"Don't make me angry, or I'll feed you enough syrup-soaked pancakes to clog an artery!"
They continued bantering like this well into the latest breakfast Sanji had had in a while. He was flinging the blueberries that had been dislodged from his waffles across the table at Zoro when Robin startled him by suddenly leaning over his shoulder. Surprisingly, he hadn't even realized that she'd walked in.
"Cook-san, are you wasting food in a childish display of a food fight? That's so unlike you," she scolded, conjuring hands to scoop up the extra berries that were rolling across the table top and transfer them to the trash. A stray flying berry squished against the side of Sanji's face, splattering his jaw with purple juices. "I know you'll clean up the mess, but don't let our swordsman's bad manners influence you too much, or there won't be any proper gentleman left on this ship."
"You think I'm gentlemanly? Oh, how my sweet Robin-chwan flatters me!" Sanji cooed, finally registering that his swooning was a little delayed today.
While his attention was diverted, Zoro reached across the table to wipe the berry juice from Sanji's jaw with his thumb. The blond was distracted enough that he only registered the trembling in the swordsman's fingers after he had already finished cleaning off the juice and was hastily getting up from the table.
"Oops, I got some in your beard, curly. You'll have to wash it out. I'm going to take another nap—this headache is getting worse," Zoro said dismissively. He left the galley with the slow, unsteady pace of someone who clearly felt dizzy.
The swordsman's behaviour reminded Sanji of his earlier suspicions, and he turned back to Robin with renewed alarm. "Robin-chan, do you think it's possible for me to have given Zoro the curse before my 100 kisses were up?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. Why, has he been experiencing the symptoms?"
"I think so—and I've felt completely fine ever since he…you know."
"That certainly would be unusual. I'll go ask him about it right away and see what he thinks. If that's the case, and Swordsman-san's health continues to decline, you may have to return the favour," she told him with a sweet smile that did nothing to hide the slyness in her tone.
Sanji considered the possibility of having to give Zoro a life-saving kiss with mild horror. He wished he could say that he couldn't even picture it, but the horrifying truth was that he could—he remembered the lingering sensation of pressure on his lips when he'd awoken completely healthy in the infirmary and could easily imagine what it would have felt like had they both been conscious. The image his mind conjured up of the scene was far too tempting to think about any longer, so Sanji threw himself into his work and planned a five course dinner that would have him furiously cooking the rest of the day away. Cooking always served to clear his mind of unwanted stress, and he hoped it would prove as reliable a method until Robin could confirm if the swordsman did have the curse.
Zoro had just been about to enter the men's dorm to rest his tired body when a pair of lips sprouted from the doorknob. He hastily withdrew his hand in surprise as it started talking with Robin's voice. "I'd like a word before you retire for the night, Swordsman-san."
The lips smiled, and Zoro turned to face the woman herself as she caught up to him in the deserted hallway. He showed her into the bedroom and they each took a seat on the low couch. With the way she was scrutinizing him, he suddenly felt like a patient about to be psychoanalysed by her dark, watchful eyes. "Cook-san tells me you've been acting strangely," she began without preamble.
"Strange in what way?" he asked, fearing that Sanji had begun catching on to Zoro's more than platonic feelings toward him.
"He seems to think you may have caught the curse from him. His symptoms have disappeared since he was released from the infirmary while your health seems to be experiencing a similar deterioration."
Zoro turned his neck to look at her, suddenly comprehending the strange sensation he had felt when he'd kissed Sanji…besides the obvious sensations. "How is that possible? There's no way he kissed 99 dudes before I got to him, Robin."
"I'm quite sure he didn't," she said with a giggle. "I do have a theory…but I don't think you'll like it."
"No one ever likes your theories—they're terrifying."
"This time I think 'embarrassing' is a more accurate description."
"Alright then, let me hear it," he told her, bracing himself.
"The story about the curse mentioned its unique ability for adaptation; it was able to evolve when Braun began an intimate relationship with another man by responding to their unequal feelings for each other and punishing them in accordance with Amara's wishes. Her husband had to watch his lover go through the same curse that he did, and his lover discovered that he was not truly loved by Braun. I wonder if, in your case, the curse was able to sense that you took advantage of Sanji, who was unconscious during your kiss. It responded by transferring to you—perhaps as a form of punishment."
Zoro stared at her, aghast. "Robin! That's…what the hell?! You're making it sound like I'm some sort of perverted molester! I did it to save his life!" he reminded her.
"And if you were only interested in saving his life than the curse may have accepted you as Sanji's first kiss."
"Excuse me?!"
"You and I both know that you have romantic feelings for the cook. Even if you bury them under a mask of aloofness and bitter rivalry, your heart knows differently. I think the curse could sense that you enjoyed kissing Sanji, even though the situation was so dire. It chose to punish you for compromising his honor," she finished insightfully.
Zoro took a moment of silence to let her words sink in. He had no doubt in his mind that he had somehow taken the curse from Sanji, who had been running about with the same ridiculous charisma as always without a hint of weakness for the past two days, whereas Zoro felt as though he were slowly falling apart. Suddenly, the reality of the situation dawned on him, and he took a deep breath, putting his face in his hands.
"Thank God…" he whispered, prompting Robin to raise her eyebrows. "I can get through this curse no problem, but Sanji? How was that ladies' man supposed to get 99 men to kiss him?"
"I'm happy you feel that way, because you'll have your work cut out for you. Shall I notify the crew that you'll be in need of some assistance?"
"Just call another group meeting."
"Wait, now Zoro has to kiss a bunch of guys so he won't die? You work really fast, Sanji!"
"Don't be an idiot, Luffy—the curse transferred prematurely. How could I have kissed 100 guys when I could barely even stand up?" Sanji asked.
"You don't have to stand to kiss," Luffy reasoned. "You were lying down when Zoro kissed you."
"I have heard that it's more fun lying down. Yohohohoho!"
"Franky, do you have any rope? I'm gonna tie those two together and toss them overboard," Sanji said, flushing crimson.
"Maybe I'll just let this thing kill me," Zoro added, similarly red-faced.
"No, don't do that! I need the strongest swordsman at my side when I become King of the Pirates! We'll help you out, won't we guys?" Luffy suddenly sprang at the swordsman, wrapping his rubber legs around his waist and planting a sloppy kiss on his mouth.
"Blegh! LUFFY! That's so gross—it's all slobbery!"
"You taste like steel, Zoro! Probably 'cuz you bite your swords, shishishishi! Do I taste like rubber?"
"How am I supposed to know what rubber tastes like?"
"Well, do you feel any better?"
Zoro finally registered the pleasant tingling on his skin and the warmth in his veins. He didn't feel any pain in his muscles or head either, and his fatigue was completely gone. "I think it worked. I'm reset."
"Yosh! Can we set sail now? The log pose finished ages ago! I want another adventure!" Luffy shouted. Usopp and Chopper joined him in a silly dance, Brook pulled out his violin to strike up a tune with Franky backing him up on guitar, and the ladies retired to their room to relax before dinner. When Zoro looked around and noticed that Sanji had also disappeared, he immediately headed into the galley and found the blond in the midst of a truly enormous spread of ingredients, wearing the same pink "Kiss the Cook" apron that mocked him so.
"Damn, Cook. Was I sleeping when we invited a king to feast with us or something? I hope you aren't really going to cook EVERYTHING in stock for your party."
Sanji's shoulders tensed at that, probably because he recognized the phrase as something he'd drunkenly said last night, and Zoro noticed that the back of his ears had turned red—he hoped the reaction was because the blond also remembered his words from just before when he'd said that he liked Zoro. The swordsman could accept that sentiment—he would gladly be Sanji's friend if it meant getting to spend time with the cook.
"I was just trying out a new five course menu. I'm not really in the partying mood," Sanji said dejectedly.
"Why not? Did something happen?" he asked instantly, and then to mask his concern he added, "Were you shot down by one of the ladies again, curly-brow?"
"What the fuck do you think happened?!" Sanji snapped, violently slamming his hands on the counter. Zoro jumped at the sound, shocked when the cook turned to look at him with unrestrained distress. "Why the fuck did you end up with my curse?!"
"It was my fault. Robin said I must've been thinking indecent thoughts when I kissed you, so the curse transferred to punish me for it."
"What the hell does that mean?!"
"You know…I was thinking that I'd have more blackmail material," Zoro lied, using the clever cover story that Robin had come up with. "I haven't even apologized yet for doing it without your permission. It wasn't right of me—even if it was necessary. I'm sorry."
"Are you stupid?!" Sanji raged, storming over to shake the swordsman by his collar. "I walked into a sleazy bar and was fooled by a fucking man in a dress into catching a curse that took away every purpose I have on this crew! I couldn't fight—couldn't cook—and I almost sliced up my hands, because I was too stubborn to listen to you! I wouldn't even have gone to Chopper if it hadn't been for you. I'd be dead right now if you hadn't kissed me, you moron! It's no different than if I'd been drowning and you gave me CPR, but now you're actually apologizing to me for saving my life when you're the one who has to get 100 kisses from any dirty fucking pirates who'll let you, otherwise you'll die. Did I leave anything out?!"
Zoro just stared into the blazing blue eye, too stunned by the sudden outburst to form a coherent response at first. He wrapped his hands around Sanji's, which were locked in a death grip around the fabric of his shirt, slowly loosening their hold. "It's okay," he told him, squeezing those hands reassuringly. "I'm actually thankful that it's me who has to do this instead of you. It'll be easier for me."
"Wha—are you saying that I don't have enough game or something?" Sanji snapped angrily. He didn't pull his hands out of Zoro's, only held them tighter as they stared each other down.
Zoro shook his head, deciding to give the other man a small hint about the nature of his feelings toward him. "I meant because I'm not uncomfortable with kissing men. Unlike you, I'm not a total ladies' man—I can appreciate male beauty just as well as I can a woman's. Kuina taught me that the outer package isn't necessarily as important as what's inside. It's not the worst thing in the world for me to be cursed with. I'll just look at it as a form of training—it might even be fun."
He smiled at the blond, holding the expression while Sanji's dawning realization that Zoro actually liked kissing men froze his features into a comically stunned mask of surprise. After a moment, Zoro carefully removed his hands from Sanji's. The cook looked straight at him and quietly said, "I thought you were asexual like a plant, marimo."
Zoro smacked a palm into his own forehead and let out a heavy sigh. "I want to say 'fuck you'…but that was actually a good one."
Sanji let out a sort of choked giggle that abruptly escalated into full blown hysterics, his arms folded over his stomach as he laughed maniacally. "Oh man, that was really unexpected! You've never shown any interest in people before. Only a muscle-head like you could turn a homoerotic curse into just another day of training in the life of Roronoa Zoro."
"Just don't call me gay—I fucking hate labels—and I like women, too."
"Nah, I won't. It doesn't matter anyway."
"So are we good? You're not gonna hunt down this Logan guy and kick his face in? He just wanted to be rid of his fear of death. It probably takes a long time to reach 100 kisses, and that's gotta be pretty tough to achieve on the island where the curse originated. You really would have to resort to kissing any dirty pirate who came along. He lucked out with you, though."
Sanji had managed to stop laughing, but he was still grinning like a moron when Zoro snuck in the offhanded compliment. It wasn't as sly as he'd thought, because the cook noticed immediately. "Yeah, I'm pretty damn fine for a pirate, aren't I?" he said cockily. "Tell me the truth, what kind of indecent thoughts were you really having when you were saving my life?"
"It was absolutely NOT like that, pervert-cook. You looked as dead as a corpse! I couldn't even feel you breathing until halfway through, and I'm not into necrophilia."
"With the image of me on my death bed aside, do you find me attractive, marimo?" Sanji asked coyly.
"I can't answer that with your sensitive ego," Zoro told him, giving nothing away.
"Hmpf. That figures—can't even admit it. I know I'm hot as hell."
"Your head's big enough to hold all the hot air in hell," he fired back.
"Fuck you!"
"Maybe on my death bed."
Sanji put their banter on hold, grabbing Zoro's collar again and forcefully closing the distance between them. His lips pressed against Zoro's with quick, insistent pressure, causing the swordsman to be the one to gasp into the other's mouth this time. It was so unexpected that it took a moment for him to relax the muscles in his jaw and soften against the blond, but Sanji abruptly broke off their contact before Zoro could properly return the kiss with any measure of competence.
The cook let him go instantly, a blush coloring his pale skin like a sunburn as Zoro gaped at him in stunned silence. "There. Now we're almost even."
"Almost?" Zoro asked weakly.
"I just did that without your permission, so now you don't have to feel bad about before. I was conscious for the end of it, so it's almost the same situation. I still haven't payed you back for saving my life yet, but don't…don't expect that kind for payment," he said firmly, spinning on his heel to resume his work at the counter.
"What if my life needs saving, and Luffy isn't around to slobber all over my face?"
Sanji paused in the middle of furiously chopping a vegetable. After a moment, he said quietly, "I'll save it as many times as you need. Now get the fuck out of my kitchen, shitty-swordsman. I'm behind schedule for this dinner, and I might accidentally mistake you for a head of lettuce or some broccoli. Tell everyone it'll be ready in an hour."
Zoro could feel the goofy grin spreading on his face and was glad the cook had his back turned. "Okay."