I do not own CSI, but in my dreams CSI is all mine

I am not going to cry, not here not now. Warrick wouldn't want anyone crying over him, that's not the way he would want it to be.

Son of a bitch, why the hell did this have to happen? What the hell did Warrick do to deserve being buried in the ground?

Warrick, thinking back Warrick has always been there for not only me but everyone else as well. I hate that today we have to put a brother in the ground. That's what he was. We may not have had the same blood but he was my brother no matter what

Listening to the voices around me I can here the minister talking, speaking a quote by someone unknown

'Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death is a smile' he says

I think we all have a right here to cry today because even though Warrick lived his life completely it was not complete. He had a lot to live for yet and he should have hade another 40 plus years or so to live. This thought makes me mad and I kick my heel into the ground.

Finally looking up to the people around me I see Nick, crying, mourning the loss of his best friend, his brother. Catherine being supported by Lindsay and her mother, I know her heart is broken and it pains me to know that there's nothing I can do for her. Looking across I see Jim dressed in his police uniform, hat being held at his side, watching and staring at Warrick's coffin, saddened that his life ended way too soon. Beside Jim are Griss and Sara. I can see her tears flowing down her face and I want to go over there and give her a hug but I know she's trying to stay strong for Grissom. Looking at him I can see a man like me struggling not to show his vulnerability and cry in front of everyone, but I do notice the way he's holding onto her hand and she to his, conveying as much love and support to one another as one person possibly can

I can hear the minister telling everyone that the service has ended and that there is a small gathering at a little bar on the strip. Everyone else starts to leave but I stay. My own tears finally getting the best of me.

I feel Nick come beside me, clasping his hand on my shoulder

'Come on Greg let's go get a beer, drink to Warrick' and I can only nod, not trusting my own voice at the moment

Twenty minutes later we enter this little bar. I've only been in here once; Warrick took me out for drinks one night after a hard case involving kids. Watching as Nick seeks out the bar I follow. Apparently I'm not the only person who had the idea to get a drink. Griss and Sara already have a glass in there hand, Catherine has what looks to be a martini and Nick is handing me a beer

'Thanks Nick'

'No problem Greg.

To Warrick' he says tapping his beer against mine. Giving him a sad smile. Warrick should be here enjoying this beer with us, not us drinking in memory of him

I can softly hear music coming out of the speakers. It's just a slow steady guitar and a deep raspy voice.

Watching the people around me again I see Grissom take the last swallow of his drink and grab Sara, bringing her to the dance floor. I watch as he sinks into her, burying his head in her, wanting to disappear just like I feel at the moment

Got my finger on the trigger

But I don't know who to trust

When I look into your eyes

There's just devils and dust

Trust, there's a word that I have a hard time using at the moment. Trust. I trust the team, Sara, Jim, and most of the people I work with on a regular basis but other then that I don't think I can trust anyone else anymore, not until whoever did this is caught.

I wrote a book about Vegas mobsters, how they took out other people and left there remains in the cruelest ways, but never in my life did I ever think that me or the team would become one of those stories. I mean really that's what were up against, the mob, the mole in the lab, and that scares the shit out of me. I know how all these guys work.

We're a long, long way from home, Bobbie

Home's a long, long way from us

I feel a dirty wind blowing

Devils and dust

I got God on my side

I'm just trying to survive

What if what you do to survive

Kills the things you love

Fear's a powerful thing

It can turn your heart black you can trust

It'll take your God filled soul

And fill it with devils and dust

God. Where was he when Warrick was shot? We all got saved, Nick, Jim, Sara, me, why didn't Warrick get a chance to get saved as well?

Warrick man what happened? What made you put yourself in a position to piss off the mob? We all told you that we would find the mole, that we would nail the bastard who did this, and I get it, you were only doing what was second nature to you, finding justice, doing what you do to survive, and that very thing you did to survive killed you

Well I dreamed of you last night

In a field of blood and stone

The blood began to dry

The smell began to rise

Well I dreamed of you last night

In a field of mud and bone

Your blood began to dry

The smell began to rise

After you died I dreamed of you. Well I guess you could say it was more of a nightmare. I hadn't had one of those since I got the shit beaten out of me.

I dreamt that we saved you. We got you to the hospital in time and that you walked out the next day with no injuries, you were fine. But as you were getting into your car a bullet ripped through your neck, you blood pooling on the floor of the car and all I can do is watch as you die all over again

We've got God on our side

We're just trying to survive

What if what you do to survive

Kills the things you love

Fear's a powerful thing

It'll turn your heart black you can trust

It'll take your God filled soul

Fill it with devils and dust

Listening to the song once more a conversation I had with Warrick a long time ago pops in my head and I feel the need to share it with Nick

'About a year ago Warrick and I had this case, pretty bad, two young kids and a mother all dead, the husband killed all of them, he was pretty psychotic. I took it pretty hard. I mean who does that right. That's when Warrick brought me to this bar' I say. Nick seems to be nodding along so I continue

'Anyways I started questioning God, how he could let this happen, why wouldn't he just strike the bastard down first and he told me he had heard this quote from his grandmother years ago after he came talking to her after a bad case, anyways he said and I quote

'Even God is deprived of this one thing only; the power to undo what has been done'

Made me think you know, made me realize that even God is probably looking down on us and wondering how on earth we got the way we did, killing, fighting etc. and knowing that he can't undo what he's already given us. Free will.' I finished looking at Nick who had a blank face

'You didn't hear a word I just said did you?'

'Sorry Greg'

Now every woman and every man

They want to take a righteous stand

Find the love that God wills

And the faith that He commands

Grissom piled us all into his office after Warrick died. I could tell he was near his breaking point. The undersheriff had ordered us off the case and he was personally taking over. Boy did that not sit well with anyone. Grissom stormed out of the building, Nick punched a locker, and Catherine locked herself in her office and me I just sat in the break room fuming. It must have been about an hour or so later when Grissom walked back in the building, paging us all to his office

As we got there Grissom shut the blinds and the door speaking as he went along

'I'm making a promise to you now, together we will find whoever did this and when we do he will pay. This is my promise to you and I hope you can promise me the same thing back'

My spine chilled with the amount of venom I hear in his voice. Never in a million years did I think I would ever hear Grissom like that.

Not being able to find my own voice I just sat there and gave a nod, watching as he grabbed his jacket and briefcase and left the building

I've got my finger on the trigger

And tonight faith just ain't enough

When I look inside my heart

There's just devils and dust

I feel like I have my own finger on a trigger. I just want this to end. The pain, the sorrow, the death. It's not right and it make's me feel like my own heart is filled with devil's and dust

Well I've got God on my side

And I'm just trying to survive

What if what you do to survive

Kills the things you love

Fear's a dangerous thing

It can turn your heart black you can trust

It'll take your God filled soul

Fill it with devils and dust

Sitting here at the bar with Nick and now Catherine I just watch as out mentor, the person we all thought had no emotions break. I can see Sara holding Griss close and I see her lips moving, she's helping him grieve. I see Griss' shoulders shake and I know now that after this, after he let's his emotions out, that whoever did this better watch out. Like me and the rest of us no one will stop until we find Warrick's killer

It'll take your God filled soul

Fill it with devils and dust

Glancing over at Nick I see him smirk

'What are you thinkin' Nick'

'He's going to haunt us to the end Greg'

'He better' was all I could think, giving Nick a smile back. First one I think I've given since that day at Franks

Ok so here was Greg's POV. I know it was a little angstier then the rest so far, sorry!

That first quote, about tears being inappropriate was said by an English writer named Julie Burchill

The second quote about God was by Aristotle

Anyways stay tuned, Jim's POV is next.

Be kind and leave a review

Katie

Be kind leave a review

Katie