Chapter 4: Mice and Men
"Crush? What are you talking about? Who would Harry like..." James trailed off and realization dawned on his face. "That boy that Harry was talking to? The blonde one? Wait a minute... you think our son is gay?" James asked with wide eyes.
"Well, he could be, or he could be like your dear friends and 'swim in both waters,' if you get my 'drift.'" said Lily with a smirk. "Oh Lily, that was corny." groaned James. "I think you've been spending to much time with said 'dear friends'... mainly Sirius."
"You think so, huh? Speaking of them, we told we'd invite them over for lunch. They'll be ecstatic that Harry wants them over here. He hasn't spent much time with them since... you know." James wrapped his arms around his wife, who was looking wistfully up at Harry's room. "I know darling. At least we know he's getting better. He's talking, he's made new friends, and he actually wants to males to come over to eat with him. He's improving. Before he would have hyperventilated at the thought of any of those things. He's a fighter. He'll be fine."
"I know... I'm just worried about him. Sometimes I feel like... locking him away and never letting him out of this house, where I can always watch him and make sure nothing ever happens to him again. I mean, look where just walking home from a friends house got him. I never thought that something so... horrible could happen to our sweet son. He never did anything to deserve this."
James hugged his wife again, burying his face in her hair. "I know. I was shocked too. But sometimes, things like this happen for a reason. He come out of this stronger than he was before. I mean, he's always been shy. Just not so painfully so. Maybe... this will help him get over that."
"Maybe... I hope so. I don't think I could stand it if anything else happened to our son. I hope he gets better soon."
"Me too, baby, me too."
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Later that afternoon found the Potters', Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin seated at the kitchen table eating lunch. Sirius had been over-joyed that his godson had said yes to him coming over, and after grabbing Remus, had come over right away.
They had both had the shock of their lives when Harry actually hugged them when they came in. He had flinched something horrible when Sirius had hugged back, but he was trying. Sirius felt happier than he had since it had happened.
"So, Harry, James tells me you made two new friends. What are their names?" he asked his godson. Harry blushed a bit, which made everyone laugh a bit, softly of course. "Um... there's Blaise. His locker's right next to mine... and D-Draco. He's Blaise's friend... he's blonde." he added as an after-thought.
Everyone shared a look. It was a known fact that one of Harry's abductors, and later rapist, was blonde. That's all they knew though. That one was a blonde and the other was a red-head. It had dark at the time, so Harry hadn't been able to see their faces. After that, they had either kept it dark, or Harry had been unconscious.
Lily looked back at her son, who had a far away look in his eyes. Lily knew he too was remembering what had happened. Before he could to far into the still fresh memories and work himself up, she reached over and squeezed his shoulder. He flinched away from a moment and she noticed that a wild look had come into his glazed green eyes. After a moment, the look disappeared and looked down at the table. "Sorry," he mumbled. "It's okay sweetheart. Why don't you finish your lunch?" she suggested, gesturing at his unfinished turkey sandwich (A/N: Yum:O)
"I'm... n-not hungry." he whispered. Everyone present could see the trembling of his hands. Lily sighed and pushed the sandwich away, then pulled her son to her and hugged him. He had his head buried in her shoulder, and she could feel her shirt getting wet from his tears. She ran her fingers through his black hair, whispering to him that it would be alright.
The three men at the table looked heart-broken. Lunch had been going along great up until now. They had almost thought that, just maybe, things were finally getting back to normal. They would have to keep wishing and praying. With only a little less than a month since the accident, Harry was still far from normal. They all knew in their hearts that Harry would never truly be normal again, but he could still get better than this. Harry didn't need all these small reminders of what had happened, little things to open back up the part of his mind that he was desperately trying to close.
James got up and knelt down next to his son. "Hey kid, how 'bout we watch a movie or something. How does that sound?" Harry sniffed and turned his head so that he was looking at his father but still lying against his mother. He wiped his eyes a bit and nodded. "Okay," he said softly. "Okay, come on then," and then for the second time that day James picked up his abnormally small son and carried him into the living room for a movie and much needed relaxation.
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Harry woke up the next morning at 7:00. He groaned at how early it was but he knew he had to go to school. He couldn't miss another day after just starting. He got up and dragged himself to his closet, grabbing a dark blue long sleeved shirt and a pair of loose fitting faded blue-jeans. He pulled them on and went downstairs, where his mother was making breakfast.
"Hey sweetheart," she said, leaning over and giving him a hug. "Hi mom," he yawned. She smiled at him and put a plate of eggs in front of his spot at the table. "Eat up. You're father's taking you today and he's leaving in twenty minutes." she told him, getting eggs for herself and sitting next to him. "Okay." Harry said and proceeded to eat his eggs. He loved times like this, when things seemed... normal.
Twenty minutes later, Harry was in his father's blue Corvette heading to school. "Hey," his father said, "you match my car today!" Harry rolled his eyes but smiled at his father. "Yes, you know how I like to dress according to the color of your car. Oh how it thrills me." His father laughed and ruffled his hair. "Hey!" Harry yelled, "You of all people should know how hard it is to get my hair right! You're the one that gave it to me!" Harry was looking in the mirror trying to flatten his hair while James just laughed. "Yes, it was my evil scheme. Even before you were born I was plotting against you."
"Well that's obvious." said Harry. They pulled up in front of the school Harry now attended and James stopped the car. "Now," James said, "if anyone gives you trouble, just let me know and I'll..."
"Dad!" yelled Harry. He gave his father an exasperated look when he saw that Jameswas only half joking. "Okay, okay," said James. He leaned over and gave Harry a hug, placing a kiss on top of his head. "Have a good day and I'll see you when I get home, which should be around five." Harry hugged James back and grinned. "Okay, see you later!" With that, Harry jumped out the car and went into the building. James watched him go in before smiling slightly to himself and driving away.
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Harry got to English class with plenty of time to spare so he sat there, flipping through Of Mice and Men and just thinking; thinking of his life and the turn it had taken. Things had been so perfect before. He'd had everything he could have ever wanted before. He'd had friends, good friends. He smiled as he remembered his two best friends; Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. They had done everything together, gone everywhere together. They never kept anything from one another. Until now.
There were times when Harry considered going to them and explaining that he was alright, at least as alright as could be expected. But then he always had second thoughts. What if they didn't understand? What if they thought he was just being stupid, or, even worse, lying about it. He just couldn't deal with it if they did that to him. So he decided every time that not going and not knowing was better. For everyone.
He got out his song book and looked at the lyrics he had written one day when he was feeling really low. When he had known, he still did, what he needed. He just didn't know how to get that.
I've given up, I'm giving up slowly
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last call that you mentioned,
Is my one last shot at redemption
Because I know to live you must give your life away.
And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I've dying to get out and that might be the death of me.
And even though there's no way of knowing where to go
Promise I'm going because
I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut I fell into by mistake.
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape.
I'm giving up and I'm doing this alone now
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes
Life not fair
He closed the notebook as other kids started filing into the classroom. He looked back at the book in his hand. John Steinbeck really knew what he was talking about when he wrote it. What with Lenny's dream and George's dream. Harry knew that there was a Lenny and George in everyone. He just didn't know which one he was. He hoped that he didn't end up like Lenny.
The bell rang and everyone sat down in the desks. He felt someone poke him and looked over, seeing Draco sitting next to him and smiling. He smiled a little back, glad that he had made a friend. He was also glad he had gotten over the hair thing. That had been highly embarrassing.
The teacher walked to the front of the class and he turned his attention to her. She cleared her throat and smiled at them. "Okay now," she started. "We're getting to the end of the book, but before we find out what happens then, I want you all to do a little paper." Groans filled the room but Harry ignored them. He smile a bit, knowing why the teacher had said before we find out what happens. She didn't want them to know yet what Steinbeck was implying about human nature and the dreams everyone harbored. That they don't usually come true...
"What I want you to do is make a list of your hopes and your dreams. Then pick the one that is most important to you and write a short essay about that and then link it to either George or Lenny, you pick. Which one does it relate to more? It is due on Monday. Get busy."
Harry pulled out a piece of paper and began his list:
1) Get famous. He didn't know about that one. Could he handle all the people? He was a fairly good singer and could play the guitar well. Who knew what could happen.
2) Go to college. That one was a duh in Harry's opinion.
3) ...
The list went on from there. At the desk next to Harry's, Draco was having some trouble. He hadn't got past get a boyfriend. He knew who he wanted, but he wasn't gonna write that in case the teacher or someone else saw it. He looked over at Harry and saw that he was staring at his list. Draco saw that he had seven on his. He leaned over a little and saw the last two on Harry's list:
6) Be normal.
7) Get over it.