"Hitler, I'M HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!" Megatron announced as he kicked down the door to his house.

Hitler was besides a mirror, sprucing himself up for the Lederhosen Appreciation Society. "Oh gutentag Megatron, did you get your bulk pack of cigarettes?"

"Yeah I did, now if you excuse me I have some lung cancer to contract!" Megatron sat down in his enormous lounge chair, which was buckling under the weight of the giant robot seated on it. Megatron jammed all the cigarettes into his mouth as he pulled up a newspaper, flicking past the first few stories on how Smithsville was perfectly normal, before noticing what day it was.

"Holy crap, November 20th?! Mother's Day was 192 ago!"

Hitler was alarmed, his Tyrolean hat flying right off his head at this revelation. "Ve must really get zat uber-strong air conditioner above ze mirrored fixed. But mein gott, I did not know you had ein mutter Megatron!"

"I do, and a futter as well," Megatron left his chair and went to the mantelpiece over his fireplace. He looked to the photo of a rosy-cheeked Megatron besides his two parents. "I haven't spoken with them since I came to Earth, they weren't happy with my life choices. I wanted to destroy all the autobots, they wanted me to become a fire truck." He stared intensely at the overalls that his younger self was wearing.

"I'm sure ein present will fix decades of hostility zhen! It vorked vith ze Bolshies!"

"What the hell, you're right Hitler!" Megatron turned around, the photo flying off the mantelpiece and through the window, "I'm going to get mom the best goddamn present my hands can find." He ran over to his kitchen and ransacked his drawers before he found the present he was speaking of, concealed in a brown paper bag. "Hitler, wanna come? There'll be free food!"

"Free food?" Hitler exclaimed, "I vas preparing for an evening of observing ze finest specimens of lederhosen, but I cannot refuse ein offer like zat!" He threw his makeup away and jumped into Megatron's arms. "To Cybertron!"
"Get ready Hitler, this is going to be a long ride!" Megatron powered up his foot boosters and flew right through his house that still had a few million bucks left to pay off on the mortgage.

Hitler shouted out in joy as his mouth caught all the healthy pollution permeating above Smithville's oil refinery district, "Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ..."

"...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeee-"

"GODDAMMIT SHUT UP HITLER, YOU'VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR THE LAST GODDAMN 16000 LIGHT YEARS!"
"I'm sorry Megatron, I get excited about soaring through ze air like a good Aryan eagle."

Megatron slowed his boosters as they entered Cybertron's atmosphere at a calm bajillion kilometres per second. He touched down in the middle of the nicer part of Cybertron that was only 99% destroyed by the millenia long war.

"Good thing this paper bag survived atmospheric entry, it's hard to find some good paper bags on this planet." Megatron felt in his pocket for a cig, only to realise that they'd all been lit. "Eh, I was going to smoke them anyway," he said as he jammed them all in his mouth.

"So, vhere is your haus?" Hitler asked.

"Not too far," Megatron replied, leading Hitler through the nice, near-completely destroyed neighbourhood, "It's next to the pile of rubble and the mound of rubble. You'll know it when you see it."
They continued walking as distant sounds of planet-destroying drinking contests filled the silence of Cybertron's streets. Megatron and Hitler came to a suburban house amidst the pile of rubble and the mound of rubble.

"See, what'd I tell you?" Megatron said, before knocking on the front door with his giant robot fists. The door burst apart, Megatron shrugging his shoulders and walking through the frame of rubble.

"Mom, dad, guess who's come home!" Megatron's shout reverberated through the entire house, causing the pile of rubble next door to collapse into a mound of rubble. Megatron ran into the living room where, sure enough, his parents were seated in two lounge chairs as comfortably as two assembly arms could be.

"I brought my new friend Hitler with me; he's a pretty cool guy!" Megatron gestured to Hitler, who was slightly confused at the sight of a woman without a good German apron on. "This is my mom, AXRGI1000312, and my dad, AXRGH1000543. Anyway, I came home to say happy mother's day mom!" He threw his gift over to AXRGI1000312, who scrambled for a good minute to try and open it with her one arm.

"I got you what every good son gets their mom," she finally pried open the bag, "That's right, THE SEEDS OF AUTOBOT DESTRUCTION!"

His mother looked sternly at him.

"I told you mom, I'm a Decepticon, it's what I do!"
His father also joined in.

"Goddammit, I'm a grown robot, I can do what I want now!"

AXRGI1000312 and AXRGH1000543 were both adamant that this gift was not entirely appropriate.

"SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING TO MY ROOM!" Megatron ran up the stairs, oil dripping from his eyes as his robotic feet fractured the steps.

AXRGI1000312 and AXRGH1000543 attempted to follow him, moving along the ceiling rail upstairs. Hitler was by himself in the living room which was adorned with floral imagery and reminders of its perfect surburbaness.

"How perfectly bourgeois," he said aloud, "ZHEY MUST BE HIDING SOMEZHING!" He proceeded to ransack the room for any possibly incriminating paperwork because Hitler is the model of a perfect house guest.

AXRGI1000312 and AXRGH1000543 came downstairs after a few moments; AXRGI1000312 heading to the kitchen to prepare a homecoming meal, and AXRGH1000543 went into the living room to finish reading his paper. Noticing the strange Austrian man in a robot tearing his house apart, he attempted to tell Hitler that maybe he should go upstairs and try to convince Megatron to come out of his bedroom before he's forced to bring out the discipline stick.

"Jawohl, I shall see vhat I can do!" Hitler announced, racing upstairs to Megatron's bedroom. He entered as slowly as his giant robot sensibilities would allow. Megatron was on his bed, listening to loud rock music while writing from the deepest and most emotional parts of his soul. So the poem was sixteen lines of 'DESTROY ALL AUTOBOTS'.

"Oh Megatron," Hitler exclaimed, having noticed the trophies on Megatron's wall, "I did not know zhat you vere ein sport star!"

"I was," Megatron replied, his headphones being too low quality to actually play rock music, "I was the best goddamn transformer-ball player in the Cybertron class of '931. I was the team's tank."

"And ze avards for best marksbot?"
"I was also a pretty good gun."
"Jawohl zhen, I zhink I shall go downstairs and look around for some sauerkraut, enjoy your poetry!" Hitler said, as he left and slammed the door gently, bringing all the photos of precious family memories to the floor.

Hitler got to the stairs, before noticing a suspicious looking door at the end of the hallway. He carefully tiptoed to it, observing that it was closed. Thinking that he'd finally found the secret of the AXRG family, he looked inside. The room was plain, except for some perfectly normal cardboard boxes filled with potentially incriminating contents. Hitler went over to the closest one and picked up a piece of paper.

Hitler's eyes lit up as he found the revelation he was looking for, "Oh mein GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!" he screamed quietly.

Megatron's family and Hitler were at the table, helping themselves to the traditional Cybertron mother's day meal of deep fried energon. Tensions were running high as both AXRGI1000312 and AXRGH1000543 couldn't read Megatron's new poem.

"Mom," Megatron said, "Can you pass the energon sprinkles?"

AXRGI1000312 attempted to pass the energon shaker, but she knocked it over by accident.

"DAMMIT MOM," Megatron cried, "YOU ALWAYS EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY COOL FRIENDS!"
AXRGH1000543 attempted to calm him down.

"I don't want to dad! NOW I REMEMBER WHY I LEFT!" Megatron stormed to the front door.

Hitler, seeing the perfect moment to announce his discovery, stood up, "Megatron vait! I have somezhing to show you."
Megatron stopped just before the rubble and turned around, "What the crap are you on about?"

"I must admit, I had ein little look around the haus, and I found somezhing very... interesting." Hitler took a picture out from his pocket and showed it to everyone in the room. "Your mutter vas having ein affair!" AXRGI1000312 was embarrassed at the picture of her in her more sumptuous years with another assembly arm in her bed. AXRGH1000543 sighed, thinking that this entire thing was far less interesting than the funnies in the Cybertron Times.

"Mother!" Megatron shouted.

"But zhat is not all!" Hitler said, taking a piece of paper from his robot crotch, "YOU VERE ACTUALLY ADOPTED!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Megatron shouted again, this time in all caps. He slammed the table, "Why did you lie to me for so long?!"

AXRGI1000312 and AXRGH1000543 tried to assure him that it was natural, explaining that they both lacked actual reproductive organs and that no one really knew how transformers were actually made. Sex education on Cybertron was notoriously inadequate.

"I'm sick of all your lies!" Megatron exclaimed passionately, storming through the former front door and running to his favourite mound of rubble to cry for a bit.

"So zhat vas interesting," Hitler said, placing his arms behind AXRGI1000312 and AXRGH1000543, "So, who is up for ein game of Risk? I call gewehr on Deutschland!"

... to be continued?