Loneliness
Daryl Yan was on patrol in his endlave, on lookout for anyone who dared to step into the red zone. His orders were to shoot anyone who walked inside of it. However, Daryl could not focus on his task at hand. Instead, he spent most of his time wondering how a certain "runt" was doing. His mind kept flashing back to the incident the day before. He could distinctly remember how vulnerable and powerless she was, how soft her hair was, and, well, pretty much everything. The fact that he remembered everything so vividly made him hate himself even more for it. Why can't I stop thinking about that stupid runt? Why does it matter what she does when I'm not around? Instead of paying attention to the barren city in front of him like he should be, Daryl mentally slapped himself over and over again, frustrated by his sudden growing attraction to that "runt". It's not like I think she's pretty or anything... Right?
Meanwhile, Tsugumi sat there, doing her usual routine: Peel all the vegetables then take a break once finished. Only, the problem was, when she took her break, she would quickly go and see Daryl, who would normally be waiting for her. Today, however, Daryl wouldn't be there, so what would she do? Tsugumi sighed, realizing that she wouldn't have anything to look forward to today. She spent a majority of her morning sighing and still pondering Ayase's question.
"What is he to you?"
Tsugumi sadly looked down at her half-peeled potato. I don't know, Aya. I really, truly, don't know. Tsugumi slid the vegetable peeler down in quick strokes, peeling off the remaining skin. She reached down into her bucket, feeling around for another vegetable to peel. To her surprise, there was nothing left, so she checked in with an S-Rank and left. Without thinking, she quickly started to walk towards her usual meeting place with Daryl. However, she quickly halted, realizing that he wasn't going to be here today. In fact, he wasn't going to be here for a whole entire week. Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Daryl isn't going to be here for a whole week... Tsugumi stood there in silence and gazed ahead, not particularly thinking of anything. She finally sighed and strolled towards an empty area on the campus. She took a seat on a concrete block and leaned back, staring at the sky. Tsugumi was lost in thought, confused as to why she felt lonely. It was something she was bound to be used to by now, but for some reason, she could never find a proper, straightforward answer. Am I lonely?
A soft voice broke Tsugumi's concentration, "Tsugumi? Are you okay?"
Tsugumi looked up to see a familiar, fair-skinned girl with glossy pink hair.
"Inoreen? What are you doing here?" she asked, eying her with curiosity. She motioned for Inori to take a seat next to her, lightly patting the concrete block a few times. Inori elegantly walked over and took a seat, flattening her dress.
"You seem troubled. What's wrong?" She asked, worried about her friend's health. "You've been sighing a lot lately. Did something happen?"
Tsugumi looked down, playing with her fingers, "Well... Yeah. Sort of." Tsugumi paused, waiting for Inori to say something. Inori looked at Tsugumi, expecting her to elaborate more.
"Nee... Inoreen... I know I've asked this before, but what does loneliness feel like? You said it was cold, right? Do you think... I'm lonely right now?" Tsugumi asked, still unsure of her own feelings.
"Maybe." Inori said, void of any emotion. The doll-like girl turned to Tsugumi and stared at her without any emotion and gently asked one more time, "Are you lonely?"
This time, Tsugumi thought about it even harder. Am I lonely? The answer was yes. However, Tsugumi was too blinded by her own denial to realize it before. Inori's words echoed in her head over and over and over again. She slowly stared down at her empty hands and asked, suddenly choking, "Yes. I'm lonely, aren't I? Inoreen! What should I do? When you're lonely, what can you do? Just sit there and wait? Wait for him to come back? Do I wait like a damsel in distress? Is there nothing I can do to help him? Nothing?"
Inori's eyes widened, "Who are you talking about? What's going on? I don't understand you."
Tsugumi lightly placed her hand over her heart and tightly gripped her sweater, "Is this what it feels like to be lonely?"
Tsugumi kept babbling on about loneliness, how cold it was, how it was such a terrible emotion to feel. Inori just sat there, confused and unmoved with a blank stare. Inori probably didn't understand a single thing Tsugumi was talking about. She was never very understanding of human emotions. However, she was extremely sharp at times. Even after a whole five minutes, Tsugumi didn't stop. The feeling of loneliness, she was just so unfamiliar with it. It was so new. New in the worst way possible. She didn't know how to deal with it. Everything just hit her all at once. When she had finally realized that all this time she was lonely, she felt powerless. All this time, she had just been putting on a facade. A mask. A fake smile.
Tsugumi covered her face, resting her elbows on her knees, "I miss him." She jolted up and turned towards Inori, "Inori, how do you think you would feel if you cared about someone you aren't supposed to?"
"I'm... not sure."
Tsugumi groaned and let go of her face, "Human emotions really need to go die in a fire sometimes."
"O-Okay..." Inori quietly responded, confused about Tsugumi's sudden changes in emotion. Hell, she probably thought Tsugumi was going crazy if she didn't know any better. Tsugumi was pretty close to snapping though. Tsugumi was always an emotional person, to some extent. She always spoke without thinking, always saying what was on her mind. Except, this time, it was different. It was as if she had just emotionally broke down and let everything out. She wasn't depressed or anything. There were actually no tears whatsoever. The feeling of loneliness was so alien to her. She was scared. Shocked, really. She couldn't even react properly.
Tsugumi had finally answered the question she's asked herself so many times, but for some reason, she was more shocked than relieved. She sat there in silence, taking everything she had just blurted out into consideration, and Inori slowly, awkwardly walked away, thinking that Tsugumi needed some time alone.
"Um... I'll... be leaving now." Inori passively said, with an uncertain tone in her voice, and she walked away, weirded out by Tsugumi's strange actions.
Tsugumi kept thinking to herself, frantically babbling on and on inside her own head. So this is what it feels like to be lonely. I've finally answered the question I've asked myself so many times in the past. Why am I not relieved? Even more importantly, I just admitted to missing Daryl. DARYL. YAN. Him of all people. I mean. What has he done for me to make me care? He calls me runt and makes the atmosphere unnecessarily awkward whenever he's trying to be honest. I mean. Yeah, he's cute when he's trying to be honest, but... STILL!
Tsugumi groaned even loader this time and frantically clutched her head in confusion, "Wait a minute–!"
She cut herself off before she blurted out something she probably shouldn't.
Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE... Could this mean?...
"No. No! No... No,no,no,no... NO!" Tsugumi muttered under her breath.
"Don't tell me you're actually crushing on him!" Ayase's words echoed in her head once more.
Crap... Why don't things ever go the way I want them to?
Daryl was ejected from his endlave, and he quickly exited the cockpit. He headed towards their control center. Rowan was seated in front of a screen with a live screening of what was going on at the wall. Segai was seated to his right in a red rolling chair, as usual. He was doing a crossword puzzle on his phone, trying to amuse himself. Segai acknowledged Daryl's presence in the room and looked up at him, "Ah. Lieutenant Daryl! Good to see that you've made it back conscious this time."
Rowan snorted, reminiscing all the times Daryl was knocked out unconscious after being annihilated by Ouma Shu over and over again.
"It's only because Ouma-kun wasn't there at the time."
"Right?" Segai responded, obviously playing around.
"I don't know why, but he always defeats you in one hit. You're also the first one to charge in every time. There must be some connection." Rowan smirked, somewhat afraid yet amused. He glanced over to Daryl to see his facial expression, somewhat worried for his well-being. His expression darkened, and Rowan grew stiff in fear.
"That... Faceless bastard!" Daryl gritted his teeth in anger, remembering every single time Shu has destroyed his endlave with that strange "void" power he has. Realizing that he was quickly losing his temper, he attempted to calm himself down. He took a deep breath in and exhaled. Segai ignored him, and Rowan sighed, relieved that he wasn't going to receive any physical injuries today. Suddenly, a huge announcement was made throughout the HQ and Loop 7. All civilians seen within the red line were to be terminated. However, unaware, the civilians all stood there, shocked as the wall began to move little by little. The red light flashed over masses of people and endlaves began shooting, massacring most, if not all, of the innocent civilians. Daryl could only watch the scene unfold from the sidelines, from Rowan's screen.
This... this isn't right! Daryl could only stare at the screen, unable to say anything. He felt a drop of sweat fall down his face. He looked over at Rowan, frozen in fear. The wall began to move bit by bit, pushing all the littered dead bodies along with it. This is... wrong! Trying to hide his disapproval, Daryl spoke up, "I don't like this one bit."
Rowan and Segai quickly turned to Daryl, shocked. Even Segai was surprised.
"Huh?" They both said in unison.
Daryl quickly interjected before they jumped to any unnecessary conclusions, "There's no love in this killing."
Rowan was somewhat relieved that Daryl, too, disapproved of this in his own special way, of course. However, Segai on the other hand, caught on to Daryl's act.
"Perhaps it's not a taste in style but rather the fact that you're growing soft." He smirked, eying Daryl with curiosity and amusement.
Rowan was shocked by Segai's comment, "Wha?"
Daryl was taken back by Segai's sudden remark, "W-What? Me? Soft? You must be joking."
"Oh? But I'm not."
He's too sharp! What should I do? Daryl quickly dismissed his comment and decided that he was going home for the day.
"W-Well... Anyways! If there's nothing left for me to do, I'm going home for today."
Daryl stomped out the room. The automatic door slid open.
"Daryl, you can't run away from the truth forever." Segai added right before he left.
"Whatever."
And Daryl quickly walked out of the room.
Daryl fell back onto his bed. He stared at the ceiling, bored out of his mind. For the past two days, he had been doing the same thing over and over again. Patrol, patrol, patrol. However, it's not like he really payed attention anyways. He spent most of his time wondering what that "runt" was doing, much to his disdain. It was the most mundane two days of his life. However, little did he know that Tsugumi was actually spending her days doing similar things. She did her boring job of peeling vegetables and thought about Daryl, but instead of hating herself for it, she was growing paranoid instead. Daryl reported in at the HQ and did the exact same thing. Rinse and repeat. When he was finally ejected from his pod, he immediately went to Segai.
"Oi, when am I going to be given another mission? I'm getting really tired of all this dumb patrol crap."
It was his third day in a row, and he couldn't wait any longer. He crossed his arms and incessantly tapped his foot, waiting for Segai's response.
Segai spun around in his chair, "Patience, Daryl. And to answer your question: three days." To emphasize his point, he held up exactly three fingers. "I think I'm going to give you another infiltration mission.
Daryl stopped tapping his foot and his eyes slightly widened and he shot Segai a tiny smile. He sort of looked like a playful little kid. He was pleased with his response, "Ah. I see. I guess I can wait three days."
"That's good to know."
"Well, I'll be leaving now."
"Okay– Wait! Before you leave. Do you know a nine-lettered word that means betrayal of trust?" Segai asked, staring intently at his scarlet cellphone.
Daryl turned his head and thought for a bit. He went through a multitude of words and counted letters on his fingers.
"Treachery?"
Segai began to rapidly type in "treachery" and a big grin grew on his face, "Thanks, Daryl!"
"Uh... Yeah. Sure." And he walked out. The door lightly shut behind him and he let out a light sigh. He went home and quickly pulled out his cellphone. He opened his contact list and scrolled down to Tsugumi's name. Daryl began to type in a short message and pressed "send".
Tsugumi was seated on her usual stool, extremely frustrated with herself. It's been three days, and I haven't stopped thinking about him once... Tsugumi looked down with a deranged look on her face. Her right eye lightly twitched. One of these days, he's going to drive me INSANE. I mean, he's driving me crazy right now, and he's not even here! What the hell! I've only known him for... Tsugumi began counting all the days that have passed since their first meeting at the school festival. About... one and a half weeks? I can't really remember... Tsugumi uncontrollably let out a loud groan. Everyone nearby quickly turned around and stared at Tsugumi in confusion.
Tsugumi looked up and found many students wildly staring at her, "Ugh... Stop staring at me. It's nothing. Nothing's wrong."
Everyone went back to doing their own thing and quickly brushed it off. Tsugumi heard a light beeping noise come from her phone. Who could that be? Could it?... Tsugumi quickly seized her phone and turned it on. A holographic screen popped up and it read, "(1) Unread Message". Huh? A text message? During times like these? Then maybe it really is him! Tsugumi lightly tapped her screen, curious to see what it read.
In bold, white letters, it read, "Three Days."
Tsugumi gently smiled and lightly touched the screen.
I can't wait...
"YES!" Tsugumi yelled in joy, unaware of her surroundings, again. Everyone turned to look at her one more time, baffled by why she was so happy in times like these.
Tsugumi lightly blushed and tried to laugh it off, "Ahahaha... Nothing to see here... Again. I'm just... being... You know... Delusional. Haha..." She nervously laughed. Everyone went back to being depressed and doing their own thing, brushing off Tsugumi's strange actions again.
I swear... This guy is going to be the end of me.
Please R&R! Thanks for reading, again. I slacked off a bit this time. And sorry if things seem rushed. Again. And whew! Writing Inori is probably the hardest thing ever for me. I'm so used to writing overly expressive characters. I mean. Yeah. She has emotions, but it's not like... she shows them that much. Well! NOW SHE DOES. But we're not there yet in the story. I moved the little massacre scene to this point in the story instead. Not really much of a big deal. And this chapter's a lot shorter than the other ones. It kind of feels like Daryl and Tsugumi's relationship is a bit rushed and forced in this story, but I'll make up for that :) Things aren't going to get romantic soon, to be honest. SORRY TO DISAPPOINT. HAHA. They're like. Teenagers experiencing their first crush. And Dargumi fluff is the best thing ever. And since it's Spring Break, I have WAAAAYYY more time to write. If I feel motivated enough, I may release 2 chapters within the next week. And since I have more time, I can revise and edit my chapters better. And I think my writing skills are SLOOWWWLLYY improving. YEESSS! And as a heads up, Segai isn't going to die in this story, and Dan is still alive.