(Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and stuffs belong to her greatness JK Rowling.)
Fanfiction: Symmetry
Summary: You could have anyone, anyone at all, yet you choose to be with me. I'm sure one day, you'll realise this, so I'll take what I can get, every last drop. Until the end…
Warnings: Non-Magic Severus. Snarry. Angst, angst, angst…
"Harry…"
Aforementioned man did not so much as twitch upon hearing the voice, simply turning around on his heel with a quiet grace that seemed to come from being more dead then alive.
"Professor." Harry tilted his head in acknowledgement.
A tall, old man with long dark blue flowing robes and silver beard that reached below his stomach stepped out of the shadows and into the small, gray quarters of Potions Master and Deputy Headmaster Harry Potter-Snape with a small smile on his face.
Wagging his finger playfully, he chided Harry, "I've said it many times before, call me Albus."
"Habit, I suppose. Would you like some tea?" Harry gestured for the former Headmaster to take a seat.
Looking his former pupil in the eye, Albus was met yet again by the hollow, vacant stare that had since taken residence in the once brilliant, sparkling emerald eyes. Unable to take the chill passing through from the stare, he looked away and observed the room covered in papers and photos.
The younger man proceeded to clean up a bit while waiting for an answer, content to give the powerful man in his seat some time to think. Harry glided around the room with a cold elegance that no human being should possess, and his face was slack without emotion. He had a polite mockery of a smile present on his tired face, his hair was limp and lifeless and his skin pale like snow.
"Yes, please. N-"
"No sugar, 2 drops of lemon and vanilla essence each and a pepper leaf, correct?" Harry interrupted with what should have been amusement.
"Why yes, dear boy. Happy to see you still remember!" Albus replied with cheer.
The Deputy Headmaster and Potions Master made a soft noncommittal sound before disappearing into the kitchen. A few moments later, sounds of cupboards opening and water coming out of the tap were heard before he swiftly returned to his seat opposite Albus and placed the tray on the table.
As he poured the tea into the two cups, Harry cut to the chase. "Why are you here, Albus?"
The man in the blue robes gave a sharp look over his glasses towards the man in black across him before giving a deep, mournful sigh.
"Harry," he began, "I know I have no right to ask this, well, to ask anything of you after the war-"
"Albus, I have long since forgiven you. After all, you are only human." Harry deadpans.
Albus smiled apologetically at Harry, before continuing. "Yes, forgive me. Simply an old man's trying to make amends. But you must remember, Harry, you are human as well."
The Potions Master stands abruptly before pacing around the sitting room. His dark robes, as dark as the night itself, snapped and crackled limply, billowing sluggishly, a pale imitation of how it once was.
Harry replied with his voice rising in volume but still in the same monotone it had adopted, "Albus, you of all people should know what I've done for the war. My humanity was lost on that battlefield, scattered over those plains of mocking bluebells and violets. He stole it from me, and I became a monster!" The objects in the room began to age, the photos and papers turning yellow and gray while the older tomes simply crumbled to dust, the sofa and chairs becoming worn with holes where the stuffing poked through beginning to show. With his head bowed, the only picture of calm in the chaotic room, his belonging slowly destroying themselves from the unseeable magic leaking off the immensely powerful young man.
Albus surged to his feet in alarm, raising a shield around himself automatically. "Ha-"
Abruptly, Harry's jerked violently before taking in a shaky, ragged breath and wiped his face tiredly. His other hand raised itself, trembling, and waved around in a careless gesture, restoring everything in the room to its previous state.
"You see, Albus, my magic is no longer as Light and warm as it used to be. True, it is not truly Dark, but it simply brings about death to all around it. I must constantly keep it in, force myself to ignore that urge to keep using it, deny myself that euphoric feeling that comes from allowing myself to dip in its power. I am the Boy Who Lived, the Master of Death, Keeper of all three Deathly Hallows, a murderer."
Albus moved closer, every step taken with much caution. He knew better than to reach out to Harry any longer, not out of self preservation but for what consequences the act may have on the young but old man in front of him.
Slumping against the nearest chair position like a puppet whose strings had been caught, he looked up with the emotionless face that seemed to be set in stone, and enunciated every word clearly while staring back into Albus' sparkling, tear-filled navy blue eyes, " My dear Albus, I am far from human."
Albus froze, before closing his eyes and nodding, ever so slowly. He realised that trying to get Harry to stop the pain he was causing himself while in this state was futile.
His shoulders bearing guilt and pain, duty and honour and so many other burdens, seemed as if he was having a honeymoon when he looked at his former pupil in front of him. He knew Harry was right, yet he wanted to keep up the lie so badly that he kept repeating it to himself in the hopes that it may one day become reality.
But he owed it to Harry and the thing he had become to at least be honest in that simple fact.
While, he looked, smelled, felt and behaved like a man, Harry Potter-Snape was most definitely not. He was a shell, filled with intent and magic and free will, but there was no soul and most definitely no heart left.
Harry glanced at his forearm and touched the seal placed on the inside of his wrist. The seal glowed the colour of blood before a locket appeared on top. He grasped it gently in his hand and stared intently before thumbing the latch and gazing at the mirror inside. He channelled some of his magic into it, causing the metal to glow a dull gray, all the while never looking away from the image in the mirror.
Turning towards the door, Albus opened his eyes and began the short trek to the door. At the doorway, with one foot out of the door, he called back quietly in a solemn voice, " 'Till next week, then, Harry." The white haired man stepped out and the portrait closed behind him.
He did not need to look back to know that Harry was no longer paying attention to him.
Finally the next chapter is out! Sorry for the long wait!
We finally catch a glimpse of how Harry is coping, and yes, Albus is alive. Harry is in fact no longer entirely human, in the strictest sense of word. If you don't really get it, you can PM me.
Both Severus and Harry have lost parts of themselves, both when Harry left and Harry had already been missing some fundamental things before he met Severus. I won't go too in depth there, I find that stories are more interesting when the important parts are not entirely explained to let the readers have their own impression.
I may or may not update Potter, Choose Me! soon, as my inspiration comes and goes. My muse is starting to die, I need to find the fire I once had for it and rekindle it before I update, so sorry! I'm a firm believer that the best quality work is the ones which come to you naturally and are not forced out simply to meet a deadline or other such restrictions.
Hope you enjoy it, and as always, let me know what you think!
Beersmoo