List 4 – Strangest Words I've Ever Heard

I looked between the two of them. They both looked too confident, smiling even. Slowly, I crossed my arms. Then I turned my gaze at James and narrowed my eyes.

"What is he doing here?"

James grinned, looking at Sirius shortly. "He's here to make sure you do not hit me again."

"Excuse me? Me, hitting you?" I shook my head and smiled pleasantly. "I would never do that."

"Ahh... I beg to differ. Sirius!" He snapped his fingers.

Sirius pulled a long piece of parchment up from his bag. He looked at it and started reading out loud, "Twenty-seventh of October, 1971, one forty-five, punch in the stomach. Fifth of December, 1971, nine eleven, slap in the face. Twenty-first of January, 1972, kick in the groin..." He looked at me. "Would you like me to continue? It increases through the years."

I took a deep breath. "That is so low. Dating when I have hit you."

James smiled. "Thought we should have something to show to our children one day."

"Sirius, note this." I got up, balling my hand into a hard fist.

Both Sirius and James got up. "Oh!" Sirius exclaimed. "Make love, not war."

I glared at him and sat down. "Fine, flower child," I looked at James again. "Now that we have our enemy counsellor here, can we get started?"

"You don't want him to leave?" James asked, obviously surprised.

I shrugged. "He can stay. But nothing will come out of it. I won't hit you."

"Yeah, I don't buy that," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"I didn't ask you to," I bit.

"Seems I'm not the only one you need counselling with," James said with a chuckle.

I turned to Sirius. "Okay, you can stay. I might hit him after all."

"No, you can go," James said to him.

"I want him to stay," I said.

"You're just doing that to annoy me." James crossed his arms.

"Yes, I am."

"But it's not working."

I raised an eyebrow. "I can see it is."

"You're not really great with sarcasm."

"Oh, I disagree."

James opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He looked around. "Where... Where did Sirius go?"

"He left you. Ha! He doesn't care whether I hit you or not."

"Does to."

"Stop arguing with me." I narrowed my eyes.

He smiled brightly.

"Look." I found a parchment from my bag. "I asked the librarian yesterday, and she gave us a few names of some books that might help us. Could you please go get them?"

He chuckled. "You're such a highbrow."

I frowned. "I'm a what?"

"You know." He rolled his eyes. "You're so bookish and such. A highbrow."

"Oh." I looked at him. "That's a strange word."

"No, it's not," he said flatly. "It's completely normal."

"Interesting..." I said thoughtfully. "Very interesting."

He suddenly raised both eyebrows. "Please don't tell me you've written a list of strange words."

I pursed my lips, looking out of the window.

"You have!" He suddenly smirked. "Is there anything you haven't written a list of?"

"Things About James Potter Which I Like."

"Because you'd never finish?" he asked, smirking.

"Because there's nothing to write."

"Yeah, whatever," he laughed and snatched the list of books. "I'll just go find those books."

"Thanks."

I started leafing through a book as he left. I let my head support in the palm of my hand, drowsily. I grabbed my quill and wrote a few lines on the parchment.

After a few minutes James returned with a huge stack of books. I was sure the table was going to give away when the books landed on it with a crash.

"I doubt very much we're going to use half of these," he said.

"Me too," I said. "But now we've got them, and if we didn't, we couldn't get the information they might have."

Slowly he nodded. "Onomatopoeia."

"What?"

"Onomatopoeia," he repeated.

"I heard you. But what do you mean?"

"It's a strange word." He smiled. "Figure you could use it for your list."

I nearly laughed. "Are you helping me with my lists now?"

He shrugged. "I help where I can."

"And what does the word mean?"

"Yeah, I don't really know." He shook his head very slowly.

I rolled my eyes. "In the future, I'd like to write my lists on my own. Thank you very much."

He smiled. "What's the strangest word on the list?"

"I'm not letting you read this."

"Please?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Give me a word then."

"Rhinotillexomania."

"Bless you?"

I shook my head. "It's a metaphor of picking nose."

"Oh." He smiled. "Cataglottism."

"What?"

The smile grew into a smirk. "I could show you."

I nearly laughed. "With that tone you use, I doubt very much I want you to show me."

"Alas," he said with a sigh.

"What does it mean?" I asked with a grin.

"Kissing with the tongue," he grinned and licked his lips.

"Somehow I'm glad I didn't agree," I smirked.

He leaned back and slammed both of his feet onto it. Slowly he let his chair tilt a little back. I laid down the quill, looking at him.

"Aren't you going to write some?"

"I found the books," he said with a sigh. "I'm on a break."

"Yeah, but I was working the first five minutes when you were goofing around with Sirius. You were late, again."

"That was uncalled for," he said. "You know, we all have our things. One of my things just happens to be that I'm always late."

"And being an idiot."

"Yeah, I know you like me. You have your things too."

I groaned and leaned back. "Are we ever going to get this done?"

"I very much doubt it."

"Yeah, thought so too."

He started whistling. I narrowed my eyes at him. Then I took a stack of the books and put them in between us.

"The Great Wall of the Library," he snickered from the other side.

I stuck my head past the stack. "Seriously, what did you smoke today?"

He grinned. "I don't smoke."

"You're truly in fact annoying."

"I try," he said with a smirk.

"Okay, enough," I said. "James, we do not speak until we've written a little more."

"Sign language?"

"Enough!" I yelled. I grabbed the largest book right at my hand and threw it after him.

Laughing he dodged it easily. I growled loudly and threw my hands in the air.

"I'm seriously considering killing you."

"In one hundred seventy-four ways?" he smirked. "Maybe Sirius should have stayed."

"Yes, and I'm thinking I'll use number one hundredth and thirteen," I said.

"You even know the numbers of each way?" he asked.

"Yep," I said with a nod. "It's calming reading for me."

He sighed. "Look, I've written nearly one whole page today. Ain't that enough? You can go, I don't want to die."

"No, I don't want to leave you hanging with the report."

He grinned. "I planned on leaving too."

I rolled my eyes. "You're not the gentleman, huh?"

"Never said I was."

I sighed deeply. He got up and picked up the book I'd thrown after him. He put it on the top of the stack on the middle of the table. He picked up the books and his bag. He looked at me.

"Well?" he asked.

"Oh, we're leaving?" I asked.

He nodded. "We're not getting anything done today."

I got up. "Again."

He smiled with a shrug. "We'll catch up."

"Fine." I picked up the rest of the books and my bag. "But I'll go through the books tonight."

"No reading of violent lists?" he asked with a grin.

"No, not tonight."