A/N: Okay, it's morning and I'm ready to go. I needed the sleep. Stupid Lovecraft.

Chapter 4: Root of the Problem

Ty Lee awoke gradually to the sound of screams. She groaned as she glanced out the window and saw that it was pitch black out.

Judging by the fact that Azula had stopped screaming words and was now just shrieking incoherently, this had been going on for a while. Her hallucinations had been getting worse since Zuko had gotten her to start eating, and Ty Lee had unwillingly adapted to sleeping through the noise after the first three restless nights.

Being in such close quarters with the girl, she had come to notice that Azula never hallucinated when she, Mai or Zuko was around. They had tried posting guards around her to see if their presence would help, but it didn't.

The problem, thought Ty Lee, was that they didn't know who the "she" Azula was seeing was. At first they had thought it was Katara, but the princess had refuted that theory. So now they were back to square one. They all knew that this woman was the key to Azula's recovery. But if she kept insisting that they knew her, had formed some sick alliance with her, what could they do?

Mai spent the day, as usual, in the palace library. It had become a kind of routine; she and Zuko would spend an hour together in the morning, before he was called away to his duties. Mai would spend the day reading, sorting and dusting, take a bath an hour before Zuko was free to rid herself of all of the dust, and they would spend another hour together before spending time with Azula, letting Ty Lee have some time to herself.

At first, Mai had felt badly about having Ty Lee spending all of her time in the dungeons, but the girl had insisted that it wasn't a problem. She wanted to do it. The acrobat wasn't one to take on burdens unless she truly had a reason to, so Mai had left it at that. Besides, as much as she wanted Azula to get better, right now there was nothing she could do. At least here, she could make visible progress solving the problem of the abandoned library. With Azula, they were stuck at a standstill.

As she knelt to empty the bottom level of texts off of the shelf she was working on, she noticed a corner of paper protruding from behind a board. Giving the plank an experimental tug, she noted that the wood had warped in place. Her sharp red nails would easily break if she used them to wedge it open. With a sigh, she pulled a throwing knife out from under her over-tunic. Reluctant though she was to damage the weapon, she had to see what was under the bookshelf.

It took a few tries, but eventually Mai managed to wrench the board free. A small pile of various knickknacks cluttered the small area, and Mai pulled them out one by one. A half-scorched stick, a doll so badly burned it was hardly recognizable as Earth Kingdom, a book of drawing paper and various wells of finger paint long since dried, a tube of lipstick (Azula's color), and a crystal bottle which, upon closer inspection, contained perfume.

Mai recognized the doll; she had seen Azula throw it in the dust on the same day Zuko had started playing with a small ivory knife. Obviously these things all belonged to her friend. This must have been where Azula spent her time when Mai and Ty Lee weren't around, liking the spot for the exact same reason Mai did: because nobody else knew about it.

On a whim (when was the last time she had done anything on a whim?), the weapons master flipped through the pages of the sketch book. The early ones were typical drawings a young girl would create: flowers, her family, a turkey-goose made from a tracing of her hand. Gradually, though, the pictures started to change; the family that had once been drawn together was now divided in two. The father watched with a smile as the daughter shot orange out of her hand, and the mother and son sat at a circle of blue that Mai could only assume was the turtle duck pond based on the green and yellow blobs floating on its surface. Soon the father was gone, and the little girl would watch her brother and mother with an angry frown on her face.

The last picture was what really caught Mai's attention. Azula was sitting in a chair while her mother stood behind her, one hand in her daughter's hair and the other holding a stick with lines coming out of it. A hairbrush, she assumed. But underneath them was a picture of Zuko, surrounded by orange zigzags. His eyes were a pair of black X's.

This came as a surprise to Mai. Azula had never even hinted at any anger towards her mother or jealousy toward Zuko. Could this be what the problem was?

Placing all of the other items where she had found them, Mai quickly left the room, shutting the door behind her. This wasn't going to wait until the end of the day. Zuko would hear about this now, and they would immediately do something about it.

Her steps took on a hurried pace, a rarity for her outside of battle. She knew the way to the audience chamber by heart, despite having not gone there frequently; if there was an emergency, she wanted to make sure she would be right there with Zuko. Some of these guards were so inept it was a wonder they didn't have assassination attempts daily.

Blowing past the guards without so much as a second glance, she shoved her way through the curtain, ignoring their cries of "Hey! Miss!" Seeing only Jeong Jeong discussing matters with the Fire Lord, she immediately stepped forward and interrupted.

"I need Zuko. It's important," was all she said.

Jeong Jeong, probably realizing that Mai wouldn't interrupt unless absolutely necessary, murmured, "We can continue this later," and bowed out of the room. Zuko stepped through the flames before him and descended to Mai's level.

"What is it?" he asked. Rather than replying, the girl handed her boyfriend the sketchbook. He flipped through it, a frown marring his features. When he finished, he shut it and handed it back. "So you think this might be the problem?"

Mai shrugged. "Who knows? But it's the only lead we've got."

Nodding in agreement, Zuko shed his formal robes. "Alright," he said. "I've got to go visit my father. I'm pretty sure he knows where Mom is, and if she's still alive I've got to go find her." His lips met hers for a quick kiss. "Will everything be okay without me?"

"Ty Lee and I will be fine watching Azula," she assured her boyfriend. "And as for Jeong Jeong, you'd know that better than I would."

He nodded. "Aang isn't here, and I can't ask him to ferry me around again. I'll be going by boat. I'll send you a messenger hawk from the Boiling Rock to let you know where I'm going and when I should be back."

"Just don't go getting yourself into trouble," Mai told him. "I don't feel like traveling halfway across the world to save you again."

Azula gritted her teeth in frustration as her mother left her once more. They were getting bolder, all of them. She supposed that they perceived her eating as a victory, as a sign of weakness. So they sent her mother in far more often now, saying more things to enflame her temper. All the while, her idiot brother and traitor friends insisted on feigning ignorance. For a lesser person, it would be maddening.

For her, it was just tiring. If she was honest with herself (which she rarely was), she would admit that it was downright exhausting. Every encounter with the former princess was emotionally draining, no matter if she was stubbornly loving, bitterly disappointed or some mix of the two.

She spent all of her energy on these encounters, and could hardly be bothered with keeping herself relatively well-groomed. A few splashes of water to rid herself of smell were all she really bothered with. Her hair was once again a mess, her nails bitten to the quick (a habit she'd dropped years ago), and her face was covered in small breakouts. She had never had breakouts.

"Geez, you really shouldn't look in a mirror."

Azula hated how unalert she had become; she hadn't even heard Mai approach.

"I could say the same for you," she shot back pettily. "At least I'm stuck in this filthy cell. What's your excuse?"

"Clever, Azula. A face joke. I hope you're not going to start with the 'your mom' jokes; those might really hurt."

"What do you want?" the prisoner snapped. "Or are you just here to insult me?"

"I wanted to see if you recognized this."

Azula's eyes focused on the sheaf of papers in Mai's gloved hand. "Where did you get that?" she demanded angrily. "You had no right - "

"To go in the library?" Mai tucked the notebook into one of her wide sleeves. "Why would you think you're entitled to any kind of privacy there?"

Azula remembered going there often as a child. It was a place where no one would look for her, since no one had been in there for years. At first she had largely ignored the books and scrolls there; what good would they do a child who was just learning to read? No, she was content to draw, to explore, to make little forts with the books she could reach.

That all changed the day she found a pile of firebending scrolls. She knew her father liked it when she and Zuko firebended, and in fact the two of them often competed for his attention. Despite his having two years on her, she could hold her own against her brother. So, she reasoned, why not get a little head up on the competition? She spent hours following the scrolls' commands, regulating her breathing, perfecting the stances in front of a mirror, her desire to outdo her brother and please her father stoking the flames. As she had predicted, the Fire Prince had been downright excited when he saw her sudden improvement only a few weeks later.

What she hadn't counted on was his complete dismissal of Zuko, focusing all of his attention on his daughter. At first, Azula hadn't cared; she'd worked hard, and this was her reward. But then her mother spent all of her time with Zuko, and eventually her father's time was replaced with that of various firebending teachers.

She remembered watching them together: playing, talking, feeding the turtle ducks. Not that it bothered her; she had her father's attention. She was the favorite, and if Grandfather and Uncle just got out of the way, she would be the favorite of the Fire Lord. Who needed a mother when the father was in a position of power?

"So that's what this is all about, is it?" Azula asked finally. "Mother and Zuko are angry because of a few doodles I drew, and want revenge? And people call me the petty one."

Mai didn't bother to respond; Azula wouldn't believe her anyway.

"When will you tire of this game?" the princess continued. "It should be obvious by now that I will not be broken. Doesn't this get old?"

"We'll give it a couple more weeks," Mai suggested. "Don't worry. You'll know when things change."

Zuko stood at the front of the ship, staring off at the island straight ahead. He had gotten the information of his mother's whereabouts from his father and left that very day a week ago. Fortunately the crew for his personal ship had already been hand-selected by him shortly after he had accepted the crown, so he had not had to waste time with that.

"My Lord," a rough voice addressed him from behind. "We shall be docking at Méi Kuàng shortly."

Zuko turned to his trusted Commander, taking in the stern visage and grey hair shorn shorter than the longer styles most Fire Nation men preferred. "Thank you, Commander Ji."

The older man bowed to his superior and walked away. Zuko's gaze slid back ahead.

How many times had he envisioned this moment over the years? Most of that time had only been wishful thinking; it wasn't until the day of the solar eclipse that it had become a real possibility. But now it was about to happen. To think, he'd finally found the only thing he'd ever desired more than his honor.

As the ship pulled into the dock, Zuko abandoned his spot to help tie it up. Some of the crew members looked at him oddly, no doubt wondering why the Fire Lord would stoop to helping on his own ship. Zuko couldn't help but notice, however, that everyone he'd hired from his old crew – those who had survived the siege on the North Pole – didn't give him a second glance, though he had done little on his old ship.

Hardly waiting for the ramp to be lowered to the wooden docks, Zuko jogged down, eyes darting around, taking in the wooden-framed stone buildings and small farms. His gaze wandered to the people, searching for the messenger hawk he had sent a week before. He had sent a note ahead alerting the town of his imminent arrival, not wishing to cause undo alarm, and had asked that a guide await him at the docks with the hawk.

Sure enough, a green-clad young man stood nearby with the messenger hawk perched on his forearm. The ocean breeze stirred his long brown hair, and as Zuko approached he got the impression of familiarity. This teen, maybe a little younger than the Fire Lord himself, had traveled with the Avatar for a short time. His name was...

"Haru?"

The earthbender grinned. "The village decided that since we'd met before, I should be the representative. Welcome to Méi Kuàng, Fire Lord Zuko."

"Thanks." The two shook hands briefly. "Did all the people from your village make it back from the Fire Nation?" Zuko had released all of the prisoners from the Day of Black Sun the day he'd ascended to the throne, as well as providing ships from his personal fleet to return them to their various homes.

The younger boy nodded. "Yeah, they all got back safely. So what brings you here?" he asked, changing the subject. "Your note didn't give any specifics."

Zuko rifled around under his vest, glad he had chosen to forego the voluminous robes his title demanded. Finding the scroll he was looking for, he unfurled it to reveal the face of a beautiful woman in her mid thirties. "I'm looking for my mother," he said. "I was told she should be here."

Haru studied the image closely before his face lit up in recognition. "That's Ursa!" he exclaimed. "She's your mother?"

"Yeah." Zuko frowned even as his stomach jolted with happiness. "She didn't change her name?"

Haru shrugged. "I guess not," he said. "We all kind of knew she was Fire Nation – how many Ursas are there in the Earth Kingdom? - but she was starving and barely standing when she got here. So we took her in."

Nodding, Zuko asked, "Is she still here?"

"Yeah, I'll take you to her," the earthbender offered. He lead the Fire Lord through the busy streets, the occasional stares and whispers following them. The Fire Lord? Here? And without his finery or escorts? Next thing you knew, the Earth King would be living out in the wilds.

As they neared the outskirts of the town, distant strains of an old Fire Nation lullaby reached Zuko's ears. The house they approached looked newer than the others – less than ten years old. A gated area behind the building was obviously meant to be a vegetable garden, though currently no plants grew yet. A woman was currently attacking the dirt with a hoe, tossing out any rocks she found.

"I'll leave you two alone," Haru murmured, slipping quietly away.

This was it. All these years of wishing, of waiting, of wondering. It all came down to this moment. Heart pounding, throat dry, Zuko managed to choke out one word.

"Mom?"

"Hey, Poofy-Pants! Have you seen Twinkle-Toes?"

Ty Lee slipped easily back to her feet as the young earthbender addressed her. Luckily she'd memorized all of the nicknames Toph had given everyone. "Aang? No, sorry, he hasn't been around for a couple weeks. What's up?"

Toph shrugged. "Just hoping to return the flying rat to him," she said. "Hope Sparky doesn't mind, Momo's raiding the moon peaches."

"Nah, that's fine," Ty Lee assured her. She glanced down at the package clutched in the young girl's hands. "What's that?"

"Oh, this?" Despite clutching the cloth-wrapped object closer, her voice took on a casual tone. "Oh, you know, Sokka lost his boomerang while we were fighting, so I figured, why not have a new one made?"

Ty Lee noticed Toph's cheeks redden, and took a close look at her aura. While the orangey-red color darkened slightly at the mention of the Water Tribe warrior, it didn't react in any other way. So that was an unrequited crush. Rough.

"You know," the acrobat began, "I'll probably be going back to Kyoshi in a few weeks, depending on how soon Azula gets better. If you want, I could give it to him for you, say who it's from." Sure, Ty Lee thought he was a cutie, but she didn't have it nearly as bad as Toph did. Besides, while she loved the attention she got from men, she didn't go after other girls' boyfriends.

"Nah," the girl refused. "Wouldn't want Suki to think something's going on." She handed the bundle to Ty Lee, who opened it after a glance of permission. She gasped at the black sheen of the metal. "Just say his old master had some leftover space rock."

Ty Lee nodded. "So what are you going to do next?" she asked. "I mean, we haven't really known each other, but it seems like everybody's separating." She shifted into a more comfortable position – balancing solely on her elbows, with her feet resting on the top of her head.

Toph shrugged in response. "Probably go see my parents," she said. "I kind of ran away, and they're probably worried. Besides, now that I can metalbend, the only way they can keep me caged up is if they keep me in a wooden cage out of reach of any earth. And they'll have to put up one hell of a fight to get me!"

Ty Lee giggled at the girl's fervor. "Hey, you know, if you want, we can send letters back and forth. That way if anything happens, I can come and kick some nobility butt!"

Toph's face brightened so fast it started the pink-clad girl. "Oh yeah!" she cried enthusiastically. "Just give me a couple days to learn to read, and we can get right on that," she continued, waving a hand in front of her sightless eyes.

Horrified, Ty Lee gasped out, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! It's just that you're so aware of everything around you, so it's easy to forget!"

"Pfffft." Toph waved a dismissive hand. "I get it all the time. Don't worry about it." She collapsed onto her back with a loud thump and asked, "So what about Sweet n' Psycho? I heard she went nutso. How's she doing?"

"Not so great," Ty Lee admitted. "She stopped eating again, and she's hallucinating more and more. She's still coherent, still talking, but we really need Zuko and his mom back here."

"His mom?" Toph scoffed. "How's his mom going to make things better?"

"I don't know," the acrobat responded. "But we're hoping to find out."

The woman in green straightened, rubbing her back with a quiet groan.

"I'm sorry," she said, turning to face the boy behind her, "but I think..." Her voice trailed off as she took everything in – the red clothes, the golden hair ornament, the familiar but aged features, the amber eyes, the scar. "Zuko...? Is that you?"

Her gardening tool fell from lifeless fingers as her boy – no, her young man – vaulted over the fence and pulled her into a tight embrace. She clutched at his back just as tightly, tears seeping from her eyes into the fine brocade of his vest.

"Mom," he whispered harshly. "It's really you."

Pushing him back to arm's length, she murmured, "Here, let me get a good look at you." He had grown so much in the past seven years! He was several inches taller than her, and had filled out. His eyes bore a sense of maturity that exceeded his years.

What caught her attention most (and how could it not?) was the burn scar marring the left side of his face. It had the vague shape of a hand, as though someone had surrounded their hand in fire and pressed it to his eye. Her fingers gently brushed at the thick, uneven tissue. He flinched, but didn't pull away.

"What happened?"

Pulling her hand away, he shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Mom," he reassured her. "It's nothing."

Ursa's eyes took on a steely glint. As usual, Zuko tried to carry all of his problems himself. "Who did this to you?" she demanded, her voice low and deep.

With a sigh, Zuko voiced the very thing she had feared: "Father."

Rage boiled inside the former princess, such rage she had only known once: when Fire Lord Azulon had ordered her husband to murder her son. "If he isn't dead already," she muttered, "he'll wish he was by the time I'm through with him."

Zuko reeled back warily from her, and she realized belatedly that she had never really let him see this side of her, the side that would stop at nothing to protect her babies.

"I told you Mom, it's okay," he insisted. "In the end it actually helped me. We've got bigger things to worry about." At Ursa's questioning look, he elaborated. "It's Azula. She's... not doing so well. You need to come back to the Fire Nation."

"Zuko," she said, "I can't go back there. This is my home now."

She could tell by his crestfallen expression that she had disappointed him, but she could tell by looking that he no longer needed her protection. He was a man in his own right.

"Fine," he agreed, "but you've got to come back with me. At least for a little bit. For Azula."

Ursa agreed, wondering at his behavior. He had never been this concerned about his sister when he was younger. Either they had forged some sort of bond over the years, or there was something very wrong with her daughter.

Zuko still had a lot to think about.

They were planning to arrive back at the Fire Nation tomorrow morning, and arrive at the capital soon after. But he still hadn't understood Uncle Iroh's words!

Really, this whole situation was just a mess. How was he supposed to help his little sister heal when he hardly knew the person she had become?

She hadn't always been like this. Sure, they always competed for their father's attention, and sometimes that competition could get bitter on both ends, but the Azula he had known as a child wouldn't have wanted him dead. Something must have changed along the way.

He supposed it had started right around the time her firebending skills had drastically improved. That was when their family had stopped being happy, anyway. But she'd never even given any indication of being upset with him.

Come to think of it, it was around that time that she'd started teasing him for spending so much time with their mother, saying if he spent too much time with girls he's become one.

Urgh, how was he supposed to know how to help her when she never told the truth?!

...Wait a minute.

Azula always lies.

She lied about everything. Why wouldn't she lie about her feelings? She'd always said Zuko's temper, his passion were weaknesses. Setbacks. Could it be that Azula merely hid her emotions like a soldier would hide a break in his armor?

Zuko remembered further back, to Uncle's words when he was imprisoned. The struggle between good and evil, borne of his bloodlines. Azula had the same blood running through her veins. The same conflict. She just hid it better.

He finally understood. To help Azula, he would have to view her life as though he were living it – to see what aspects of hers he had missed over the years.

Azula always lies. Even to herself.

Azula threw the soup out of her cell, watching with satisfaction as the ceramic bowl shattered and her tainted meal slid down the wall.

She hated the stink in here, but she no longer allowed anyone in to change the wash water or empty the chamber pot. Who knew what the servants could tamper with when she wasn't looking? Scorpions in the chamber pot, acid in the small basin, poison in her food, the possibilities knew no bounds. She wouldn't even allow Mai or Ty Lee anywhere near her anymore; seeing them acting like they genuinely cared about her made her almost forget their betrayal.

Almost.

But then, they sent her mother to torment her in their stead. And where her former allies would leave if she got upset, the cold bitch she had once called a parent never did. She seemed to take some sort of joy from convincing Azula of her love, only to turn away in the next moment. The same sort of joy she'd once taken at making her dear brother's temper flare up.

She swatted the flies impatiently away from her face, and after a few minutes they decided to go for the easier targets: dirty water and human waste. With the way she looked and smelled, she doubted most people would view her as above even those disgusting creatures.

Her eyes darted to the soup on the opposite wall, a small part of her so hungry she wanted to force her way through the bars and lick it off. But mostly she hadn't eaten in so long she could no longer truly feel the hunger. Which was fine. The less she felt, the better.

Yes, she was emotionless, a machine. She wanted for nothing. No love, no companionship, no food, no comforts. She needed nothing.

"But machines can't think for themselves." Agni, she was getting so sick of that woman's voice. "They need a master to work properly."

"Leave. Me. Alone. You. Bitch," she hissed.

"That's what you need, isn't it, love?" the voice soothed. "A master. Someone to accept you for the mindless drone you are. That's what I'm here for." Azula didn't look, but she knew her mother was spreading her arms for her, urging her to accept an embrace."

"I said leave me alone!" she screeched. "My mind is my own!"

She was so used to this routine that she knew the very moment the older woman was gone. Which was why it came as a shock when she heard her mother's voice again not a minute later.

"Azula... Spirits above, what's happened to you?"

A/N: Holy crap. I felt like I was channeling Azula at the end there. I don't think I've ever felt a character like that. I'm not sure if I ever will again. That really tired me out. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, cuz the next one or two will be difficult to write. They will get written (apparently other than pills, writing is the only thing that helps me sleep), but it might take time.